Culture Vs Religion

[3isha]

:sl:

i dnt knw how to start putting my thought into words, or hw silly it sounds but here we go
it am just wondering, how some men and women think of marrying OUTSIde of their culture, obviously, thinking about how it can really work is very differnt to actually experiencing it.
Imagination and Reality are 2 different things!

Of course, like if u marry into a practising family,religion should outweight ny cultural conflicts and bond people closer together as one of the most beautiful things about islam is that it is for all cultures.
but would it actually work? or wud it b lyk : "the grass is greener on the other side".

:w:

[ahmed_indian]

there is nothing wrong in marrying in one's culture but the partner needs to be pious.

if boy-girl family share same type of food, language..its easy to develop good relations.

[3isha]

there is nothing wrong in marrying in one's culture but the partner needs to be pious.

if boy-girl family share same type of food, language..its easy to develop good relations.

yh we think it can work,. but the thing is it takes 2 families to make it work, it not only depends on the partner, right?

[mathematician]

I don't see a problem. As long as both husband and wife are muslim there should be no problem. I know that may be hard to see if you come from a culture that forbids you to marry from the outside, but really it's not an issue. If there is love between husband and wife and both are of good character then the marriage will work.
I think your culture is influencing your thoughts, but believe me it can work. :)

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[Dawud_uk]

:sl:

i married outside my race (british) to another race (indian) and we have no problems, it is only a problem if the people are cultural and put that culture before islam.

if both partners and families put the deen first then there is no reason the marriage shouldnt work, if one or both partners are insisting their unislamic parts of their culture are dominant in the marriage then thinks are likely to go wrong.

eg a friend of my wife who is a revert sister but her husband insists on chapattis and curry every day, urdu at home and that she wears pakistani clothes (not islamic clothes, pakistani clothes)

:sl:

[ahmed_indian]

yh we think it can work,. but the thing is it takes 2 families to make it work, it not only depends on the partner, right?

the marriage is between man and woman....not between families which we must not forget!

if the families are on good terms..its just fine. it is not necessary that they should behave like a one family.

but sadly, we just dont care to think over it!

[coddles76]

Islam is for all of mankind, Culture and nationality has no role to play in that message. Its when Muslims start to allow nationality and culture to interfere with there Deen is when things start to fall apart which rises only due to the fact of weakness in faith and narrow mindedness.

[pipay]

As long as both partners love, trust and respect each other, the marriage will be successful. If their cultures and/or religions are different, try to meet half way rather than insisting the man or the woman to embrace what the other wants to. Everything can be discussed. IT TAKES TWO TO TANGO!! Learn how to give and to take..

[glo]

:sl:

eg a friend of my wife who is a revert sister but her husband insists on chapattis and curry every day, urdu at home and that she wears pakistani clothes (not islamic clothes, pakistani clothes)

:sl:

Does that cause tension in this couple's home, Dawud?

[Thinker]

:sl:

i dnt knw how to start putting my thought into words, or hw silly it sounds but here we go
it am just wondering, how some men and women think of marrying OUTSIde of their culture, obviously, thinking about how it can really work is very differnt to actually experiencing it.
Imagination and Reality are 2 different things!

Of course, like if u marry into a practising family,religion should outweight ny cultural conflicts and bond people closer together as one of the most beautiful things about islam is that it is for all cultures.
but would it actually work? or wud it b lyk : "the grass is greener on the other side".

:w:

I see that you are resident in England, if you are a British citizen then your culture should be British and as such the culture of the nation is one of inclusive integration and your parents should encourage that. If they do not you should ask them why not?

[Mysterious Uk]

^ lol it isn't that simple.

[burdenofbeing]

I see that you are resident in England, if you are a British citizen then your culture should be British and as such the culture of the nation is one of inclusive integration and your parents should encourage that. If they do not you should ask them why not?

I'm calling BS on this one. Do you think all british people share the same culture? Not even all the whitest londoners share the same culture.

[burdenofbeing]

Oh, and about the issue, ideally that may not seem like a big deal, but culture and families play an important part. Asking for equality of stature is a given right to families. It prevents failed marriages.

[YusufNoor]

I see that you are resident in England, if you are a British citizen then your culture should be British and as such the culture of the nation is one of inclusive integration and your parents should encourage that. If they do not you should ask them why not?

what a fool! France is over 80% Catholic, are you a Catholic? then why not?

you need, according to your silly simian simplicity, to erect some statues of the "'virgin mary," complete with "terrorist attire," toss some beads and a cross over your rearview mirror, and start eating fish on Friday. and since you haven't, now you have to go see the child rapists in a booth and tell them how grossly you have sinned.

and while you're at it, if you can't follow your own advice, stop dispensing here!

[Sahabiyaat]

the marriage is between man and woman....not between families which we must not forget!

actaully quite the opposite is drilled into our heads.and in the process, the main ppl, the couple, are forgotten. :(

[Dawud_uk]

Does that cause tension in this couple's home, Dawud?

not as much as some other things, it isnt the first time i have heard of this, some brothers and sisters seem to assume when a revert marries them they must give up everything about their culture.

this is just dumb, i am no less muslim for enjoying roast beef and yorkshire pudding or toad in the whole.

it is culture that does this though, not islam. its simular and makes me laugh when i see converts to christianity in the uk trying to out english the english.

[Strzelecki]

My honest thoughts are that if someone's culture is so deeply ingrained in their way of life, then maybe Islam isn't as important to them as it should be.

Of course marriage between two cultures can work, providing the two people care for each other mutually and their deen and Allah (swt) above all.

[3isha]

I see that you are resident in England, if you are a British citizen then your culture should be British and as such the culture of the nation is one of inclusive integration and your parents should encourage that. If they do not you should ask them why not?

my culture should be british what way ?
i eat and dress like n indian mostly nyway

[3isha]

:sl:

i married outside my race (british) to another race (indian) and we have no problems, it is only a problem if the people are cultural and put that culture before islam.

if both partners and families put the deen first then there is no reason the marriage shouldnt work, if one or both partners are insisting their unislamic parts of their culture are dominant in the marriage then thinks are likely to go wrong.

eg a friend of my wife who is a revert sister but her husband insists on chapattis and curry every day, urdu at home and that she wears pakistani clothes (not islamic clothes, pakistani clothes)

:sl:

oh jazakillah for sharing ure example,
yh xactly as i c it , if we put the deen first then it shudnt be a problem
inshallah

[Thinker]

what a fool! France is over 80% Catholic, are you a Catholic? then why not?

you need, according to your silly simian simplicity, to erect some statues of the "'virgin mary," complete with "terrorist attire," toss some beads and a cross over your rearview mirror, and start eating fish on Friday. and since you haven't, now you have to go see the child rapists in a booth and tell them how grossly you have sinned.

and while you're at it, if you can't follow your own advice, stop dispensing here!

What are you talking about?? First, read my profile - I am British living in France (and Britain). Next, culture is more than religion, in fact I am sure we can separate culture and religion.

[Thinker]

I'm calling BS on this one. Do you think all british people share the same culture? Not even all the whitest londoners share the same culture.

If you define a Briton as anybody holding a British passport, of course not as some may be recent immigrants. After that British culture is a mixture of all the cultures of all the people over the last 2,000+ years who have made this island their home and forms the set of common values we have as a people. And, it seems reasonable to presume that all those who make this land their home would want to become a part of that culture otherwise they would live in a country which followed their (different) cultural values they.

[Thinker]

my culture should be british what way ?
i eat and dress like n indian mostly nyway

I love Indian food and eat it all the time. British style and mode of dress has evolved and continues to evolve but is heavily influenced by the climate of the country(if I lived in India I would be wearing something which suited the climate there). You want to wear clothing designed for the humid tropics in the cold north – you a free to do that! But you are suggesting more than food and clothing, you are talking about culture. What are you trying to achieve? Are you telling me you and your family want to set up a version of your parent’s home village in the middle of England and pretend you’re in India? All my life I have been campaigning against racism and for equality and inclusion yet you seem to be telling me that your family don’t want to be a part of the British people. So why live in Britain, why not live in India?

[جوري]

You should marry the person you want to marry, I don't see what culture has to do with it? -- I think it is more what your parents think is good than the alleged cultural compatibility .. Parents may always want your best interest but they don't always know what is best.. only you can decide what is best for you..

Opposites attract.. I don't think I have ever been attracted or had any common grounds with anyone from my culture, if I did I'd be on the forum of my home country, not an LI Muslim community, where I think I have a very strong kinship with Muslims from all over, from Malaysia to Louisiana -- I wouldn't want to limit my pool to just one type of people.. God didn't create us to be isolated.. it says so in the Quran.. we were created in nations and tribes to learn from one another!

and Allah swt knows best

:w:

[nebula]

We shouldn't only want to marry people in our culture or from our country! as long as both people are muslims does it really matter? :thumbs_up

[YusufNoor]

What are you talking about?? First, read my profile - I am British living in France (and Britain). Next, culture is more than religion, in fact I am sure we can separate culture and religion.

how can "we" separate the 2, if YOU can't?

here's a post you wrote in a response to Purest Ambrosia:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gossamer skye View Post
List western freedoms to me that are not found under shari'a law?
Let's hear your reasons for 'denouncing' 'such a regime'?

all the best
Ah respected Skye, I was wondering when you'd join us. . . .

Freedom . .
The freedom to wear any form of clothing and bare any part of your body (other than the obvious bits).
The freedom to send your daughter to any school you choose.
The freedom to choose your own friends, partners, husbands without being accompanied.
The freedom to marry a non-Muslim.
The freedom to work outside the home.
The freedom to work with men.
The freedom to shake a mans hand.
The freedom not to be stoned to death for adultery.

you are ABSOLUTELY demanding a change in RELIGION here, NOT culture.

so, can you post us some pix of you kneeling down in front of a crucifix? those would be keen.

and another post of yours:

I do not hate Islam or Muslims I hate intolerance, segregation and hypocrisy. I want to live in a country that promotes freedom, tolerance and understanding. I worry about their interpretation of the sharia law and I worry that you believe that they will accept your interpretation.

:rollseyes

and another:

I believe that men and women should be equal, one should not have the power to compel the other to do anything, and one should not have less freedom or less authority than the other. Without equality there is no freedom.

again, trying to host your views on culture upon a religion

this one is kind of amusing as YOU try to indoctrinate people with your views:

First try to understand that you (like the rest of the human race) are very susceptible to indoctrination. What you and I believe is coloured by the environment in which we live; I know that and I constantly strive to shed my cultural baggage when trying to look at situations objectively. You have watched TV propaganda, listened to sermons in the mosque and will have reinforced that misconceived impression in conversation with those around you of like mind. I am also subject to those same influences but I know that and I build it into my judgements. . . . . . . You see a western man holding a woman’s hand “as if he is holding a piece of accessory,” why did you not see that it was the woman holding the man’s hand as if he was a piece of accessory?” The reason is because you are seeing it through eyes which have been indoctrinated to see it that way. . . . You look at the advertisements and presume the women are being ‘used’ why do you not see that the women in those advertisements are using you to make easy money for themselves. You talk about being a good housewife like it is something to be prized above all else, to women in the west it is simply a thing in their life as important as many other things. If you want to see the truth you’ll need to factor in the possibility that what you currently believe is what you have been told, not what you have seen (Please forgive me if I sound condescending

and yet another example of you mixing culture and religion:

Yes but do you have the freedom to choose not to wear clothing covering your head? What would happen to you if you decided to stop wearing that type of clothing? Have you asked yourself why you are wearing it, have you ever questioned yourself closely on the possibility that you are wearing that clothing for any reason other than you think it pleases God?

If you never investigate the possibility that what you believe could be false, how can you know it is true?

this one always cracked me up:

During the Victorian era in my country, women would dress covering all of their body exposing nothing but their hands and face with a dress that extended down to their ankles and men used to speak excitedly about seeing a lady's ankle. At the same time women in Africa were walking around wearing nothing but a loin cloth and those same Victorians sent missionaries to Africa to explain to them why that was indecent exposure. Do you think that, at that time African men were excited by seeing ankles, or even the whole leg or even the breasts; even today there are tribes in south America where the females wear nothing but loin cloths and none of the men are excited by what they see. I consequently put it to you that what is sexually exciting to men is not what they see but what they don’t see.

in order to support your view, please post a picture of your wife out in public wearing "only a loincloth." be sure to let us know if it causes a disturbance!

nice job "separating culture from religion"

[3isha]

Are you telling me you and your family want to set up a version of your parent’s home village in the middle of England and pretend you’re in India? All my life I have been campaigning against racism and for equality and inclusion yet you seem to be telling me that your family don’t want to be a part of the British people. So why live in Britain, why not live in India?

y wud i pretend to liv in india, so if am practicing islam and following the islamic laws, e.g abstaining from free mixing, pubs etc then wud u think that am trying to set up a islamic state here of course not nationality n ethnicity r 2 diffrent things
if i lived in india and i wanted to follow islam, dress islamically, maintain halal finance etc then r u suggesting dat i shud live in saudi then where shariah law is followed. if this was wt other muslims thought den at dat rate der wudnt b ny oxygn left in saudi

[doorster]

some brothers and sisters seem to assume when a revert marries them they must give up everything about their culture.

this is just dumb, i am no less muslim for enjoying roast beef and yorkshire pudding or toad in the whole.

I do not know what a "toad in the whole" is but one of my google searches revealed that toad in the hole is pork sausages with ham or bacon

[جوري]

So why live in Britain, why not live in India?

One can easily turn that question around, considering England's long imperial history? what do you think?..
one can ask, why China, why the middle east, Why India, why Africa, why mass murder and open fire on peaceful demonstrators, why take away land by force, why help in the establishment of colonial settler state and displace thousands from their home, why rob folks of their jewels and spice and tea, why medically experiment on them, why impose on them an open door policy and run them bankrupt both morally and economically, when they have all collectively had a long, deep and profound history? But one doesn't ask those questions.. one usually lives and let live...

one day though folks are going to be pushed beyond what is humanly possible and there will be a day of reckoning as is usually the case with any grievous and long injustice...


all the best

[doorster]

feed him and he will stay forever, starve him of attention/entertainment and he might soon go away to pastures new