format_quote Originally Posted by
coddles76
Would love to hear your story and journey to islam inshAllah
It feels like a long journey, but it couldnt have taken too long since I am only 22 now haha. As I said in my first post, I was raised as a protestant. I only went to church until about age ten, as my family is not very religious when it comes down to it. My father was raised catholic but it more spiritual than a follower of a specific religion (if that makes any sense), and my mother really only seems to be a christian because she was raised to be. So its easy to see why that religion did not stick with me very well.
Through my teen years I went through the typical years of being egotistical about my intelligence and thinking that I knew more than everyone else. This manifested itself in a a few ways, among them being a halfhearted adherence to atheism. It wasnt the most intelligent choice Ive ever made, more of a "phase" than anything else.
Around age 18 or 19 I began to realize my folly and look around at religion again. I naturally turned back to Christianity, being the only religion I had any real knowledge about. I returned to church, but only stayed for less than a year or so. Something about it didn't make sense to me. I couldnt put my finger on it at the time, but now I think it was the idea that Jesus died to somehow pay for all of our sins. This was a beautiful story, but the logic behind it I found very hard to swallow.
Not feeling comfortable with Christianity, and not being a Jew by birth, I had only a few options left to explore. I had taken a comparative religion course in high school and found the tenets of Islam to be very interesting. And ever since the events of 9/11 years before, I had gone the opposite route of most Americans (I forgot to note I think in my introduction, that yes, I am an American) and had a larger interest in Islam than a fear of it. All of those things coupled together with the fact that I found a fairly priced Quran (transliterated into english) at the local bookstore led me to buy it.
I had read several religious texts before and found them to be a slow read, and quasi-understandable at times. I figured I would flip around the Quran and read some here and there, mostly to fulfill my curiosity about Islam. I opened the cover a day or two later in my free time, and by the time I put it down for dinner I realized that I had read over one hundred pages. There was something about it I could not quite explain- I lost track of time and other things while I was reading, and I was compelled to keep turning the page, just to finish the next aya, the next surah, etc. I finished the Quran a day or two later and was surprised and a little skeptical. There was no way something so deep as the Quran made so much sense to me and that I had read it correctly. I must have skimmed it too quickly or not understood what it said. I instantly returned to Surah Fatiha and began again, this time reading along with analysis of the texts that I found on a variety of sources. It did not take me long to realize that my original shock was true. I had understood what the Quran was telling me, and it was as beautifully simple as I had thought!
Even still, reversion was not the main thought on my mind. I returned to college in the fall, went about my life, but what I had read in the Quran was always there in the back of my head, pushing me on to learn more. I spent a few months researching the Five Pillars and things of that nature and realized that I had no idea why I was putting off the Shahada- I believed everything I had read or been taught so far, I had simply just not declared it so. Not knowing any Muslims at college, I took a bus into the city near my school to the closest Masjid according to google.
This bus ride, while exciting, was also one of my most nervous moments. It was a good and excited anxiety, but still nervous nonetheless. I did not really know what to expect. I could tell from where the masjid was located in the city that it was going to be a predominantly "black" masjid, and I foolishly wondered what they would think of a silly white boy from uptown walking around and asking questions. I arrived just after Dhuhr prayer and stood about for a bit, overwhelmed by the number of brothers and sisters. Finally, I took a big breath and approached a random brother. I simply put it all out there. I said I was interested in reverting to Islam, and I wanted to do so. The brother, (who's name was Hakim, I will never forget) smiled broadly and gathered a few other brothers who were nearby. He explained the tenets of Islam to me to make sure I understood and believed correctly. Then the group of brothers witnessed my Shahada. Needless to say, I had been very wrong about my preconceptions of race and whatnot which had led me to be unsure of things at the last moment. Perhaps it was simply nerves, or maybe whispers of shaytan in a last attempt to sway me from my course. I overcame them, whatever they were, and reverted to Islam officially on the 3rd day of Ramadan two years ago.
So there is my story. :) Hopefully it was not too long, I have a tendency to go on and on a bit when it comes to telling about my reversion.