please help me

[muhammad123]

salam brothers and sisters, im a new member on this site and i joined this site because i would like to strengthen my iman. I have a few issues i am embarrased to discuss with my family and freinds so if anyone can help me or give me some good advice i will really appreciate it.

my problem is that iv been lying way too much. i lie to my freinds about everything in my life so that i would look "cool" in front of them. I know this is a very big Sin and its finally caught up with me. This thought constantly haunts me and Im scared that they are soon going to find out about my lies and it will end our freindship. I thought about tellin them the truth but i know they will never speak to me or trust me again.

I want to start speaking the truth from now on and forget about the past. But the past is slowly sneaking up on me. Can someone please tell me how can i avoid having to deal with the embarrasing past. I dont want my freinds to think im a liar because i am trying to change my ways. Please tell me if Allah can help me with this problem. I know i should beg for forgiveness but is there any way i can keep the truth from ever getting revealed?

Thank you

[IbnAbdulHakim]

assalamu alaikum

yeh bro. lying is like the root of sins


welcome to the forum, inshAllah we'll all help each ova improve :)

[alcurad]

the first step:stop it,meaning yourself. that is all there is to it, so it's not just the first step, it's all of them.
to stop lying you need to understand why you do it, and when, since it can't be you always do it.
the places where/when you lie are where you end this habit, simply stop yourself, it is a risk, since you've not done many times before, just go ahead and take it, risks are not to be feared, rather overcome.

remember that the person not being told the truth would react negatively if he learns the truth, what would be his feelings etc afterward, if you don't know the answer to something say I don't know, your'e not going to lose anything, and gain a lot.

try to better yourself, in your studies, sports, games and whatever you do or care about, then you'll be really 'cool', and not need to say anything but the truth.

also, we're human, so a slip or two are not the end of the world, apologize right away if you do, pass it off anyway you can and never do it again, humor works, but don't in anyway let it sink in, the moment after you say an un-truth is the moment to correct it, try to find support from someone who would understand and be able to help.

and finally good luck :)

[ahmed_indian]

salaam,

if ur frnds wants to ask u about ur life too much, just say: oh..leave it or 'i have some personel problems'

insha'allah, they wont trouble u then.

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[muhammad123]

salam brothers and sisters thanks again for replying to my foolishness. i have a feeling some of you understand my situation but its not about what I will be doing in the future (because it is obvious) its abotu what can I do about the past?

I know the past cannot be changed but iv said a lot of lies and they are catching up with me. For example: my freinds used to look down upon me because I never had a girlfreind and I made it up and told them I had 1. I am afraid that the girl that i used as a Scapegoat they may actually talk to her and become freinds with her because they go to the same university. And then its disaster for me. I want to prevent things like this in the future and I want to stop the past from getting revealed. Is there anything I can do to stop that? Please please please help me

[جوري]

akhi repent for the past and that is it..don't flaunt your sins..

there was a man who approached the prophet once, he used to do all sorts of sins, lie, steal, cheat, sleep with women.. he asked the prophet (SAW) to not make him give up more than just one sin. and the prophet SAW told him 'stop lying'.. and the man agreed

the next day, he'd go to town, and the prophet or someone would ask him, so and so, did you cheat, he'd say yes, then he'd feel so embarrassed he'd give up that trait; and again, so and so did you commit adultery, he'd say yes, then feel so bad, that he'd quit, then again until he gave up all his bad habits.. (someone pls find this hadith for me)

so moral of the story as Br. above stated. Lying is the roots of all sins, honestly the most abhorrent and it makes you feel really poorly about yourself..

My grandmother may Allah swt bless and rest her soul used to say 'liars have the worst memories' and it is true, you go around telling every person a different story, that you can't keep up and people actually know it and catch you..


Now, what is done can't be undone, you can't keep feeling bad about it.. but you can feel good about the change you'll make in yourself insha'Allah

I love your name, I hope you live up to it..

:w:

[جوري]

because I am kind of sleepy I didn't read your post in full...
I think if you are caught in a lie the best thing to do it own up to it.. no way to counteract the lie save for the truth..

Say, I am sorry, I felt ashamed to not have a girlfriend, but the fact is, I feel more ashamed about lying and even more and more about feeling so poorly about myself, that I didn't think the truth is sufficient.. No she is not my girlfriend, and I am sorry I told an awful lie that might even touch her integrity.

Honestly if I heard that from someone who is a known liar, I'd have such respect for them..

if your lies don't come up and hopefully they won't then just resolve not to do that again!

:w:

[noorseeker]

Your friends will respect you more brother, once you get the tag of not being truthful, its hard to get rid of.

[MT2]

:sl:

Sincerely repent & don't go back to your old ways and insha'Allah Allah (swt) will not expose your past. Read this powerful repentance story that occurred during the time of prophet Musa (as)

At the time of Hazrat Musa (AM) there once a terrible famine occured. People came to the Prophet (AM) and asked him to pray for rain. Hazrat Musa (AM) took thousand and thousands of people with him and asked to Allah Tala. He sought the Help of Allah Tala for the sake of infants, old pious men and four footed animals. However, no rain came! It was hot all around.

Then Hazrat Musa (AM) again started praying. He now sought the Support of Allah Tala by saying, If for any reason my level had been alleviated, for the sake of the Final Messenger - Hazrat Muhammudur Rasulullah Sallallahyu Alaiyhi wa Sallam you may provide shower on us!”

Allah Tala informed Hazrat Musa (AM): O Musa! It is not that your levels had gone down! The reason for no rain is that amongst your people there is one person who is disobeying my commands for forty consecutive years. Tell him to get out from your gathering; it is for him I have terminated rainfall.

It was a very large gathering. Hazrat Musa (AM) asked Allah Tala: I have a very low voice. How is it possible that in this large gathering my voice would reach him? Allah Tala contended him that He would reach His Prophet’s voice to all people.

Hazrat Musa (AM) announced: O the sinner, who had been committing sin for 40 consecutive years! Get out from our gathering! It is for you the rain is not coming! Listening to this announcement, the sinner looked around and saw that none got out of the gathering! He thought, it is to me whom this is being said. He further thought that when I would get out off this gathering people will see me. Alas! What a humiliation would that be! On the other hand, if I do not get out from here, for me the rain wouldn’t come too! Suddenly while pondering on these thoughts, he covered his face with a cloth and started weeping. With great repentence he prayed: “O Rahmanur Raheem! I had been disobeying you since 40 years! You gave me the opportunity for come back. But I hadn’t utilize that. Now I turn to You! You may accept me!” Even before his prayer had completed, the rain started heavily!

Hazrat Musa (AM) was thundered! Being quite astonished he said to Allah Tala: “O Lord! Not a single person had gone out of this gathering. What is the reason for this rainfall?”

Allah Tala’s reply was: O Musa! It is for that person now I descended the rain, for whom I stopped it. Hazrat Musa (AM) asked Allah Tala: O Allah! Show me that person! Reply from Allah Tala came: I did not humiliate him at the time he disobeyed me; why would I now humiliate him - when he had obeyed me?

http://islam-inlife.com/web/?p=133

[ardianto]

salam brothers and sisters thanks again for replying to my foolishness. i have a feeling some of you understand my situation but its not about what I will be doing in the future (because it is obvious) its abotu what can I do about the past?

I know the past cannot be changed but iv said a lot of lies and they are catching up with me. For example: my freinds used to look down upon me because I never had a girlfreind and I made it up and told them I had 1. I am afraid that the girl that i used as a Scapegoat they may actually talk to her and become freinds with her because they go to the same university. And then its disaster for me. I want to prevent things like this in the future and I want to stop the past from getting revealed. Is there anything I can do to stop that? Please please please help me

Can you tell your friends honestly ?
I know it's hard, but you must honest and explain them why you lie.
This a good chance to know what kind of your friend, true or false.
If they are your true friend, they will forgive you and still accept you. And even they will support and help you to solve your problem, i.e you can't get a girlfriend.
However, if they insult you and start to avoid you, they are false friends. Just leave them and get new friends. But......don't lie again, OK ?.

I think the root of this problem is you feel inferior.
Trust me brother, you are not 'lower' than someone else.