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anonymous
05-06-2009, 10:10 AM
Assalamu Alaykum wr wb,
As i write this my eyes redden and fill with tears, no matter how much i would like to deny every bit of it is true. earlier on today i went throught the book "the ideal Muslimah" only to find i was hated, hated by my lord hated by our prophet Muhammed (saw).

I have tried to change but it just isnt that easy, things that i wanted to do before i read the book, i can no longer do im thinking twice about it.

In the book it puts low those who are...
1) over weigt -
( . . . Eat and drink: but waste not by excess, for Allah loves not the wasters.) (Qur'an 7:31)
2) ugly
3) Dumb
4) Bad hygiene etc...

This list mostly relates to me and the person whom i am, i question Allah why i am like this only to see that the fault is with me. I am sorry, i didnt mean to be like this and no i dont want to be like this but i cannot help it. I just have no motivation.

I am Over Weight and still a teenager yet wish to get married in the near future, but i know that it is not possible, because i am ugly, dumb, have limited knowledge about islam and have bad personal hygiene.

Each time i try to change and i fail i loose motivation, and stop praying. Just sit their and cry my eyes out.

Sometimes i wish i would just die, but then no, i dont want to die just now, because if i do i know for certain i will not go to Jannah, so i try to be a better muslim pray, but i wont last a week till i go back to my old self again.

I need help I need motivation, i just cant do it, im fed up with everything in this like, and today just pulled the last trigger. not being loved by my mother (dont live with my father) was bad enough, but now living a life knowning that the one whom created you hates you for who you are hurts, it hurts real bad.
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idk
05-06-2009, 10:24 AM
Sis, you are completely, totally wrong.

Its the opposite - Allah loves you because you are suffering, and Allah only tests those he loves!

I think your just feeling really depressed sis, but from your writing you seem very intelligent, and guess what, no one is really ugly, and you will get married - someone out there, someone definately thinks youre beautiful.

Sis your bad personal hygiene can easily be treated! Just shower daily, use deodorant and wash your face , etc.

Not hard!

And when you pray, sis, Allah will help you even more...this is jus shaytan holding you back from prayer, because he wants you to fail.

BE STRONG, sis, put your trust in Allah, and turn right back round n smack shaitan in da face! Turn ur life around, hun!

No1 is stopping u but u...

Your a teen, so your whole life is ahead of u inshallah...

Lotsa love,

sis idk x
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Ummu Sufyaan
05-06-2009, 10:34 AM
Originally Posted by anonymous
Assalamu Alaykum wr wb,
:wasalamex

i honestly dont know what to say, expect yep dua and patience :)

the best way to change, is to be practical...keep moving forward, and never backwards...

also realize that you wont ever change until you physically do somethig about your situation...change isnt wishful thinking, its about doing :thumbs_up
so if you have bad spending habits, the way to change is to get simple...ask yourself if you need that thing you want to buy, its as simple as that. if you don't need it, dont buy it. keep in mind also what will happen to you financially in the future if you continue this destructive path...you'll end up with no money.

so yh, find practical solution's to your problems :)

I am Over Weight and still a teenager yet wish to get married in the near future, but i know that it is not possible, because i am ugly, dumb, have limited knowledge about islam and have bad personal hygiene.
well that's a nice positive start :muddlehea ok sorry :-[ but really with that attitude you'll get absolutely nowhere.
i hate to sound cruel but negativity is what drive people away from you :)

as long as you are trying to change and keep on trying and be patient, i don't see why a sincere bro wont see it...

and by the sounds of things you have really bad self esteem. i doubt your anything what you say...i bet your the exact opposite :D


Each time i try to change and i fail i loose motivation, and stop praying. Just sit their and cry my eyes out.
stop praying..as in the five obligatory? what do you hope to achieve from this?

Sometimes i wish i would just die, but then no, i dont want to die just now, because if i do i know for certain i will not go to Jannah, so i try to be a better muslim pray, but i wont last a week till i go back to my old self again.
when you reach that weakness, do everything you can to change it. if you dont feel like praying, get up and pray anyway...kill that disobedient nafs...it'll increase your iman, and you'll be more motivated inshallah. that's the awesome thing about having a good level of iman...its makes you feel confident and good :thumbs_up

I need help I need motivation, i just cant do it, im fed up with everything in this like, and today just pulled the last trigger. not being loved by my mother (dont live with my father) was bad enough, but now living a life knowning that the one whom created you hates you for who you are hurts, it hurts real bad.
your mum does love you :ooh: you just dont know it imsad
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Sahabiyaat
05-06-2009, 10:46 AM
I have the ideal muslimah at home.I certainly didnt cry when i read it, infact, i thought it was a little kaboosh, what with all the 'you must almost worship your husband you lowly woman creature you' undertones.....waste of money that book.

anywayssssss

cheerup hun.Its almost seems like you read a beauty magazine or something, thats how upset u r! ...How can Allah hate his own creation.Can u imagine him saying 'I hate you because I made you this way'?

As for improving your imaan,there are many ways to do this, already repeated on this forum many times.
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aamirsaab
05-06-2009, 11:05 AM
:sl:
Grow a spine. You have nothing to be depressed about: you're alive, you have access to the internet, you have adequate typing skills - that's more luxury than most people have.

Too fat? Go to a gym. Lose some pounds - do some work out on treadmills etc, see the difference and feel better.

Skint? Go for a jog round your house. 15 minute run.

Bad hygiene? Take a shower, Use lynx body spray.

Ugly? BS. You just have low-self esteem. Think positive not negative.

Dumb? See above.

Quit this emo tirade of yours and do something about it. You're in a ditch and you want to get out but you're not willing to get out because of lack of motivation, which means you actually just want to stay in the ditch.

Rethink your gameplan: stop thinking like a loser. Push yourself. You know what it is you want to achieve so just do it, don't make excuses not to otherwise you will never get out of that ditch. Takes will power and I understand you might be low on that right now, but if you're situation is as dire as you make it out to be, then you have all the motivation you need.

So quit crying and start climbing.
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Snowflake
05-06-2009, 11:21 AM
Please don't take everything you read literally..

Allah does not hate people who are overweight.. He hates people who waste
i.e. those who do not appreciate their wealth, do not spend it in the way of Allah and waste it. That is not the same as being over-weight.

Allah is Kind and Merciful, even to non-believers. Alhumdulillah you have access to the internet. It would help you to read about Allah's mercy for believers and read the meanings of Allah's beautiful names and attributes. The last thing you should do is to despair of Allah's mercy as by doing that you are saying He isn't merciful at all. Na udhu billah...
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S_87
05-06-2009, 11:28 AM
:sl: sister

all of the things you listed (except maybe the dumb part :? ) can be changed

1) over weight - you dont need to turn anorexic, just eat healthily and take some light exercise...but saying youre overweight-are you really overwight or just not that perfect size 0? because you know, a few curves are nothing to be ashamed of

2) ugly- we all have issues with the way we look, either too fat or too thin or too this or too that, everyone...no one is 'perfect' in looks and what is perfect? everyone has faults including in looks. youre not ugly, you just think you are

3) Dumb- are you really dumb or do you just think you are?

4) Bad hygiene etc-this is the first thing you should change and it really isnt that hard. being clean is something that should be within us and we should strive for. Alhumdulillah it is so easy to be clean these days with showers and hot water and thousands of lovely smelling soaps and liquids, be girly! let yourself get carried away and do this frequently. like everyday, or twice a day if you wish. this will help you, but in other matters you yourself need to be clean. not sure exactly what kind of 'bad hygiene' you are speaking of but remember, no one likes to sit near someone who smells/dont take care of their appearance etc. dont do this for others- do this for yourself and your deen- cleanliness is part of iman.

how can you say Allah hates you when you have been blessed with so much? when you have been blessed with the light of islam?
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Najm
05-06-2009, 11:39 AM
AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

Lets just say for the sake of argument that you are "Hated By My Lord :( "

Will you let yourself continue to be hated, or go the extra mile, to become loved?

There is so many good advice on this thread. Ill leave it there.

May Allah make us all strive. Ameen.

FiAmaaniAllah
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anonymous
05-06-2009, 11:40 AM
Jazakhullahu khiran for all the replies so far.
When i say over weight i mean 15 stones.
And even if a pious man who didnt care about looks came along, what will make him choose me when my knowladge about islam is so little.

Dumb - atm im falling behind in my college work, im having to re take the whole year as i failed last year. My GCSE results are terrible and i get mocked within my house hold because of this.

I also loose motivation when i have no one to pray with, if theres someone there to pull me up and tell me its time to pray - which there is but she gives up pretty easily and doesnt wait for me to take my wudu.

I always wake up late and rush to go college and i harly get the time to slip in and take a shower.
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S_87
05-06-2009, 11:52 AM
Originally Posted by anonymous
Jazakhullahu khiran for all the replies so far.
When i say over weight i mean 15 stones.
And even if a pious man who didnt care about looks came along, what will make him choose me when my knowladge about islam is so little.

Dumb - atm im falling behind in my college work, im having to re take the whole year as i failed last year. My GCSE results are terrible and i get mocked within my house hold because of this.

I also loose motivation when i have no one to pray with, if theres someone there to pull me up and tell me its time to pray - which there is but she gives up pretty easily and doesnt wait for me to take my wudu.

I always wake up late and rush to go college and i harly get the time to slip in and take a shower.

ok 15 stones is a bit much, how tall are you? a pious man may come along but lets face it- pious men are still men, have desires and will want a wife that atleast tries to look after herself. mind you i have seen 'overweight women' marry, some men prefer that but if its making you unhappy lose it for yourself and for your own health. if you want a pushy coach ill be more than willing to help, just pm me and we'll see if we can lose that weight inshaAllah/

why are you falling behind in college? is it the course that you dont enjoy/find too hard or just because youre lazy and you could do it if you push yourself but cant be bothered?

shower- you can shower before you go to sleep!!! or come on a five minute shower is totally possible, 5 minutes earlier, you can do it inshaAllah. do everything the nigth before so all you have to do is take out 5 minutes extra, you will feel fresh and inshaAllah good about yourself.

the motivation for praying- that is something very easy to lose motivation of and be lazy on, but fight the shaytaan, so what if someone doesnt wait for you to do wudhu? atleast you have someone right? remember you dont need her to push you nor will she lay in your grave. YOU will have to answer why you didnt pray, not her.
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idk
05-06-2009, 11:54 AM
Originally Posted by anonymous
Jazakhullahu khiran for all the replies so far.
When i say over weight i mean 15 stones.
And even if a pious man who didnt care about looks came along, what will make him choose me when my knowladge about islam is so little.
Sis, learn more! Seek knowledge and you will find it!
You wont get smarter just sitting there, come on!
Sis, about you being overweight, 15 stones is overweight, maybe you only comfort eat cuz your so down? Sis losing weight is not easy, but it can be if you put your mind to it. Join a gym, go to the ladies only session, join a pilates class (IT WORKS SO WELL!), go ladies only swimming, go for a jog in your backyard or local park, cut back on food, the choices are limitless.
You can also visit your doctor and ask him to make a meal plan for you.
Go on youtube and search workouts and do some of them!
Besides, Considering your what, 16,17? You can lose weight easily because your metabolistic rate is still fast. Set a target - try to get to 10 stone - thats a beautiful, curvy size! And besides, you still have two/three years before marriage, thats more than enough to shed some pounds!


Dumb - atm im falling behind in my college work, im having to re take the whole year as i failed last year. My GCSE results are terrible and i get mocked within my house hold because of this.
Then work harder! Re take this year, and try your hardest! Your family are definately not helping by mocking you, but you turn right back round and work your socks off and then whos gonna be laughing then? Study, babe! Work for what you want, you wont get an A* for doing nothing. Set up a daily routine - Shower in the morning, do some excercise, go to college, come home, eat dinner, STUDY! Do as much or as little as you like daily.

I also loose motivation when i have no one to pray with, if theres someone there to pull me up and tell me its time to pray - which there is but she gives up pretty easily and doesnt wait for me to take my wudu.
Sis, Pray alone! Take Wudu alone, and then pray! It takes 10 mins out of your whole day, and guess what? It helps you so much! It steadies your mind, makes you feel more active, makes Allah love you even more - and most of all, you get rewards for it - these rewards can come in the shape of a pious brother, or something in there hereafter...So pray Hun!

I always wake up late and rush to go college and i harly get the time to slip in and take a shower.
Take a shower the night before and use Dove 48 hr deodorant...or wake up earlier!
Wake up at 5.30,pray, shower, eat, study and stretch a little.
Its not hard! Make an effort, be a woman. Use moisturiser, cleanser+toner for your face, deodorant even on the days you dont shower, a little bit on eyeliner/mascara and clear gloss/vaseline!

Ta da!

Trust me sis, your problems are far less than those people who:
1.have no home.
2.Have no limbs to wash.
3.Have no means to study.
4.Have no water to drink, let alone shower.

So say Alhamdulilah for everything, and Allah will give you more!

Hold your head up high, think postive babe, cuz youre beautiful :D
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witness
05-06-2009, 11:55 AM
Asalamualaikum w. w.

sister
:cry: Its so painful you are thinking like this...

however there is one thing i thought of ...you are really brave...you've come on here and admitted about yourself many things which alot of us might not have the courage to do so...good on you :):thumbs_up

.... and your Lord (who hates you so much? :hmm: ) allowed you to do that?
He allowed you to feel brave?
Why?
Could it be that He wants you to feel better because He loves His creation more than a mother loves her child?
Is He giving you the oppurtunity to take the advice given to you here and do something to improve your condition?

I have good reason to believe He most certainly is.
You can do it sis..:)

Give shaytan's whispers the boot (he might try harder to pull you down, now he realises he may be losing you!)
Just keep in mind, even if you can't feel it now... Allah swt. does love you...its a fact...Inshallah you will see it in time.

Wasalam
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Snowflake
05-06-2009, 11:59 AM
I also loose motivation when i have no one to pray with, if theres someone there to pull me up and tell me its time to pray - which there is but she gives up pretty easily and doesnt wait for me to take my wudu
look hun, everything you mentioned can be changed.. for instance.. you don't need anyone to pray with. The purpose of prayer is to worship Allah. Let that drive you, not someone else's company.

As for losing weight, there are people who weighed triple the amount yet with determination they have lost it. I think you almost expect some sort of miracle to happen and wake up one morning slim and beautiful. That doesn't happen sweety. It takes work to get where you wanna be. Every little step takes you there, but you gotta take that first step.

Not enough time to shower? Set your alarm 20 minz early and you will have enough time. Sleep early if you are going to bed late. You can't just expect things to happen if you dont change your lifestyle. But the best thing is that you can do it! There is no such a thing as 'I can't'.

Falling behind with studies? Make a timetable and stick to it. There are time we all wish someone would take our hand and guide us to what we gotta do. But the harsh truth is that not even your own mothers will do that for you. Cuz once your an adult even mothers expect you to take responsibility for yourself.


Sit down and make that timetable and stick to it. It will pay off! Eat sensibly, avoid bad carbs and eat less. Drink enough water (6-8 glasses a day) as even 2% less than what your body needs affects concentration levels. And be steadfast in your prayers hun. If you cant read every Fardh, sunnah and nawafils, stick to Fardhs and build up slowly.

The bottom line is you can do it and you gotta start somewhere. Why not start today? :)
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Mysterious Uk
05-06-2009, 04:44 PM
Originally Posted by anonymous
Assalamu Alaykum wr wb,
:w:

Right sis, i think you need some planning and organisation in your life and inshallah you will feel much better. I pretty much agree with all the advice given by the bros and sis' but you just need to implement it all.

One method which works for me (maybe you?): Get a big huge poster/whiteboard/weekplanner/organiser. Plan your days out week by week, e.g. monday- note down all your prayer times first and then work around that, like when you have time to work, when you could do a little exercise, when you can eat and when you can have a bath etc. If you have everything written down, there is no excuse to miss anything out because you have scheduled it.

Biggest problem is leaving things till it is too late, that is why you have to do something now, instead of feeling bad. If organising doesnt work for you then maybe find a friend or family members who can pray with you, work with you and eat healthly with you. That way you have the motivation because someone is with you. But remember you can't always rely on other people you have to do it for yourself.

Tc.
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Sister_22013
05-06-2009, 08:15 PM
Wa alaikumasalam

I haven't read the other replies but I will post my own advice.

Sister, first of all, the book you read was regarding an IDEAL muslimah. It will take women many years before they can even reach that sort of state. You have to be patient with these things. Allah knows that we cannot change overnight, so subhanAllah, He bestows upon us mercy so that we may have time to change.

Now, the first thing I advise you to do, is to increase your eman. This is important as once you do this, you will start to think differently (more positively) and it will help you in dunya and akhira affairs. One of the easiest ways to increase your eman is to join this board or other Islamic boards, take part in the discussions or just sift through the threads and topics. Also, try to of course perfect your salah as best as possible, and don't forget to make duaa, most important thing! One of the easiest ways to raise your eman and motivate yourself to do good deeds is to look at their virtues, this always helps me.

Sister, you need to realize that Islamic knowledge is vast, I mean huge, it's an ocean in itself. But you have plenty of resources online, including these boards, so I suggest that don't overburden yourself with trying to obtain knowledge. If one day you think of an interesting issue, go research it and find out what exactly our stance is (eg. why don't we eat pork?, why do women cover up? what is qadr?) anything that comes to mind. But sister, remember to take it slow, don't feel like you HAVE to burden yourself, but know the most important topics, and learning is also one of the easiest ways to increase the eman, it really helped me.

With regards to being "dumb", well I think you should just try to focus in school, and try to of course increase knowledge. Make friends with people who are more school-oriented as this definitely helps because they will be there to help you. Remember to ask the teacher when you don't understand and even look for resources online and this will help. I can't really offer any more advice on this subject except just try to focus and review often, trust me this helps! and don't procrastinate! Also, please make duaa that Allah increases you in knowledge and you are successful in obtaining your education. Furthermore, read the duaa for studying, they help I find.

Bad hygiene, the easiest ways to fix this is to try to keep clean often, wear clean clothes, and try to always be in a state of wudu, you'll feel refreshed. Try to take good care of your body and don't get lazy as I'm sure this is what's happening to you (since I was kind of lazy too in this regard)

Well no one is really ugly, I agree, I think you just have low self esteem. You'll find that Allah will find ways to make people naturally attracted to you (not in terms of lust, I mean as in your face has noor and seeing it makes people want to do good and you will find they will just generally like you) I think the easiest way to overcome this obstacle, is again, to improve the hygiene and you eman, this will help you to, like I said before, think differently.

Now, the overweight thing. Are you overweight because you eat too much? Can you try going to a gym? increasing the amount of exercise you do? eating healthier foods? Sister, I've said it before and I will say it again, eman helps sooooooooo much. It will, inshAllah, give you the motivation to resist eating too much food.

In short, you have to realize that it is a big deal just to recognize that you have some flaws. You can go through a phase of being aware of this flaw, then a phase of starting to fix it, then a phase of progression, a phase which might experience a relapse and then finally you will be able to overcome the problem. Each phase can be days, weeks, months or even years long (and I just stated the phases that I've experienced in terms of own flaws.)

What you are going through is very common, I have gone through it, and you know what? I still go through. Sometimes I wonder, why do I think that Allah loves me when I clearly haven’t followed certain laws as of yet. But the thing is, I recognize that I have these flaws, and am trying to fix them, the intention is there but I might not have necessarily taken the certain steps to fix it yet. You have to be patient with these things. And please, Allah does not hate you, look, mashAllah, He guided you enough to make you read that book, and it might have made you feel sad, but now you have recognized some areas of negligence (by the way these are VERY COMMON areas of negligence, so you’re not alone) and who knows, inshAllah, a couple years from now, you’ll be reading that book and going, hey, it’s about me! (lol)

Oh, and I don’t think Allah hates you. Oh and by the way, it is actually unislamic (as far as I know) to be in a state of desperation (eg. I’ve have sinned so much Allah cannot forgive me, I’m gonna go to hell I know it, Allah hates me I’m beyond his love)

Remember to take everything step by step, be patient, you can’t change overnight. It took me about 2 years to reach the level I am at now and this level is still NOTHING compared to what others have but my life has changed SIGNIFICANTLY. I am more optimistic now, have more faith in Allah, I’ve become motivated to be a better person in general but also in the sight of Allah. Trust me, I’ve glanced over that book and I’m not any better than you but before you go any further, you need to change your thinking patterns and do this by increasing your eman. Please feel free to contact me if you want to talk more sister, inshAllah, I will make duaa that Allah guides you and helps you with all your affairs.

Sorry for the long post, but inshAllah, it will be of some benefit.
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Ibn Abi Ahmed
05-06-2009, 09:38 PM
Originally Posted by anonymous
Assalamu Alaykum wr wb,
As i write this my eyes redden and fill with tears, no matter how much i would like to deny every bit of it is true. earlier on today i went throught the book "the ideal Muslimah" only to find i was hated, hated by my lord hated by our prophet Muhammed (saw).
:w:

I haven't read that book, so I can't comment on it. But what I can tell you is that that book is not a criterion that can tell you whether you are loved by Allaah - rather it is Allaah Himself who can tell us that, and this is what He says:

{Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you.}[al-Hujraat; 13]

Secondly, just the title should tell you that it's a book that you ought to take with a grain of salt - The 'ideal' - Ideals are hardly ever met. What would be a better ideal in my opinion are our Mothers - the wives of the Messenger (saw). Try and emulate them.

I have tried to change but it just isnt that easy, things that i wanted to do before i read the book, i can no longer do im thinking twice about it.

In the book it puts low those who are...
1) over weigt -
( . . . Eat and drink: but waste not by excess, for Allah loves not the wasters.) (Qur'an 7:31)
2) ugly
3) Dumb
4) Bad hygiene etc...
1) Overweight - If you are truly overweight and not into the hype surrounding weight and looks, then you can work out and loose it. Secondly, that verse needs to be seen in context - excessiveness in eating doesn't mean necessarily equal overweight - some people are big because of their genes. Just adopt healthy eating habits, work out to stay healthy and you'll be good to go Insha'Allaah :D

2) We see our own flaws more than what others see in us. Secondly, beauty is subjective, it means different things to different people, and different people are attracted to different things/features. The Prophet (saw) said in a hadeeth in Muslim:

"Look at those people who have less than you and never look at those who have more grants than you, this will ensure that you will not depreciate Allah's grants."

3) The fact that you are using the internet, are trying to become a better Muslimah shows that you are anything but dumb.

4) This can be changed. Practical steps, shower, deodorants, etc.

This list mostly relates to me and the person whom i am, i question Allah why i am like this only to see that the fault is with me. I am sorry, i didnt mean to be like this and no i dont want to be like this but i cannot help it. I just have no motivation.
See the issue here is that you need to be thankful because you truly have a lot more than what others have. Allaah says in the Qur'an:

{And if you should count the favors of Allah , you could not enumerate them.}[an-Nahl; 18]

The verse has a bit of a misleading translation. Allaah says 'ni'mah' - favor in the singular and not plural. So more accurately, the explanation would be as following: Take one blessing of Allaah, your eyes for example - what Allaah is saying is that in this one favor of His bestowing upon you eyes - you can never count in how many ways you are benefiting from them.

So you need to be thankful and thankfulness is not simply saying, 'Alhamdullilah', but it's using what Allaah has bestowed upon you in a way that pleases Him. He says: {And [remember] when your Lord proclaimed, 'If you are grateful, I will surely increase you [in favor]; but if you deny, indeed, My punishment is severe."}[Ibrahim; 7].

Ibn ‘Abbaas, may Allaah be pleased with him, said:
“Allaah is just and fair and Has thus made happiness lie in contentment and certainty in Allaah, (while He) made grief and sorrow lie in doubt and discontentment.”
So this is your affliction and this is your cure. Be content with what you have, use it in ways that will please Allaah, and you'll not only be bestowed with happiness, Allaah will increase you in favor.

A poet said: "Don't seek anything other than contentment, because therein is the bliss and the comfort of your body. Then consider the case of a person who possesses the whole world, can he take with him in the grave more than cotton and a shroud?"

I am Over Weight and still a teenager yet wish to get married in the near future, but i know that it is not possible, because i am ugly, dumb, have limited knowledge about islam and have bad personal hygiene.
Don't worry about marriage. Wallahi, I tell you that what I find attractive, other brothers won't and vice versa. You shouldn't fall into this materialistic society's flawed reasoning that you need to look like some anorexic photoshopped model in magazines or posters. Be yourself.

Each time i try to change and i fail i loose motivation, and stop praying. Just sit their and cry my eyes out.
This is from one of the ways Shaytan tries to dissuade people by making them busy and concerned with matters that are secondary and causing them to forget the important matters such as Salah.

Sometimes i wish i would just die, but then no, i dont want to die just now, because if i do i know for certain i will not go to Jannah, so i try to be a better muslim pray, but i wont last a week till i go back to my old self again.
See this PROVES that you aren't dumb, walhamdullilah! You need to work on your imaan dear sister, the fact that you try to be a better slave of Allaah shows that you have much good in you Insha Allaah. Form a bond with the Qur'an, listen to lectures, read the ahadeeth, read the biographies of the Mothers of the Believers, the wives of the Prophet (saw).

I need help I need motivation, i just cant do it, im fed up with everything in this like, and today just pulled the last trigger. not being loved by my mother (dont live with my father) was bad enough, but now living a life knowning that the one whom created you hates you for who you are hurts, it hurts real bad.
Abu Ad-Dardaa’, may Allaah be pleased with him, said:“Allaah likes that His slave is content with whatever He decrees upon him.”

It's not easy and it takes discipline, but the fruits of being content are truly unmeasurable. I'll leave you with a hadeeth that speaks volumes, the Messenger (saw) said:

Whoever is mainly concerned about the Hereafter, Allaah will make him feel independent of others and will make him focused and content, and his worldly affairs will fall into place. But whoever is mainly concerned with this world, Allaah will make him feel in constant need of others and will make him distracted and unfocused, and he will get nothing of this world except what is decreed for him.

(Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2389; classed as saheeh by Shaykh al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 6510).
Reply

ahmed_indian
05-07-2009, 11:54 AM
if u really feel that God should not hate u but love u, that means He loves u!

there r many who dont care whether God is pleased with or angry.

Allah never hates somebody becoz he/she is dumb or ugly, HE looks into our hearts.

u can gain knowledge....then y worry about ignorance

u can loose little weight and remain hygiene...so y worry about it.

the best thing is taqwa of Allah - hope in Allah, love for Allah and fear of Allah.

so be not depressed and start with a new easy muslim life
Reply

Cabdullahi
05-07-2009, 12:49 PM
bad hygene...you can take care of that......easy!

Im a 100% sure you're not dumb!

and fat?......fat girls to me look beautiful!
Reply

Sahabiyaat
05-07-2009, 01:49 PM
Originally Posted by Abdullahii
and fat?......fat girls to me look beautiful!
.................................................. ............ :BeRightBack:
Reply

Cabdullahi
05-07-2009, 11:25 PM
Originally Posted by Sahabiyaat
.................................................. ............ :BeRightBack:
i will say it again.....A plumb person is a beautiful person!
Reply

Yanal
05-08-2009, 01:56 AM
:sl:
This might help take the laziness away sister.

Question:


The Quran is the answer to everything but it can be hard sometimes for non-shuyukh like msyelf to gain from it unless a shaykh opens it for us. I am not looking for ayats or ahadith on this topic, everyone knows so many of those alhamdolillah.

What I was looking for is something more inspirational. For example, reading the Quran inspires hearts by default, reciting with tarteel beings peace to the heart. On the same note, how does the Quran "inspire" the cutting of laziness which in turn drives us to Allah's abudiya?

I may not be explaining it right, cause Im not finding the words. But again, Im not looking for quotes and ahadith on this topic, Im trying to find out what (and how) I should do with the Quran (read it, understand it, hold it etc. etc.) that will bring me to stop laziness.

Hope this elaborates my question. I would really appreciate if you could help me with this because
I have figured out that's my problem; laziness in ibada. And I WANT to stop it, but if you can show me a perspective on the Quran that will just inspire me to drop this laziness, or come out of it, it would really help inshaAllah.



In the Name of Allah, the Merciful, the Compassionate
May His peace and blessings be upon His last messenger Muhammad, who brought the light of the Qur'an to humanity.
Wa alaikum assalam wa rahmatullah,
Thank you for your very important question. All of us can benefit from a reminder about how to have appropriate adab (etiquitte) with Allah's book.
Here are some practical suggestions that will help you, Allah willing, in your relationship with the Qur'an and and your fight against laziness:
The Muslim should never forget that the Qur'an is Allah's speech to humanity. When the muslim sits to recite the Qur'an, he should bring to mind that he is reciting these eternal words of Allah that Angel Jibril brought to the Prophet, and that the Prophet himself (pbuh) recited them with his own blessed voice.
Before opening the Qur'an, make a sincere supplication to Allah that He benefits you by this act of worship.
Make du`a while reciting. When reciting verses of the reward Allah has prepared for believers, make du`a that Allah grants you this and grants you the inspiration and strength to worship Him and please Him. When reciting verses of the punishment that Allah has prepared for the disbelievers, make du`a that Allah does not make you one of them, and that He drives away your laziness. When reading about the stories of the past nations and their destruction after they disbelieved, remember that all people will die and their time is unknown, and the only thing they will send forth for the next life is their actions.
Be regular in your recitation -- have a daily portion that you recite, without excuse. This is essential, because changing the habits of the self does not happen overnight. Rather, the process takes moderate amounts of dedicated and consistent effort.
The Qur'an increases the iman (faith) of the believers, by the testification of Allah Himself. The light of belief and inspiration it brings will necessarily push away laziness. But often this is not without some effort from the believer, because Allah's sunnah (way) is for believers to take the means for their guidance. So be sure to take other means of ensuring your himma (spiritual aspiration, the opposite of laziness). Keep good company, make sure your source of money and food is halal, and shun disobedience, as it sows more disobedience and laziness for worship. Supplicate to Allah for himma before all acts of worship and before reciting the Qur'an. Ask Him sincerely before you open His book to show you the meanings in it and to benefit you from its light.
Related Links:
"Do I Know What I Read Daily?" http://www.**************/Resources/...Q0003R0002.pdf
This article has the meanings of Surahs that we recite often. It is arranged very nicely.
How do I deal with laziness? http://qa.**************/issue_view....0&redirect=yes
Dua for protection against laziness http://qa.**************/issue_view....direct=yesBook Suggestion:
Book Suggestion:
"Ettiquite with the Qur'an" Translation of Imam al-Nawawi's work http://www.astrolabe.com/product/939...the_Quran.html
And Allah knows best and succes is with Him.
Wassalam.
Reply

noorseeker
05-08-2009, 06:20 AM
First of all Allahamdulillah that you are as a teenage girl are even praying.
You think Allah swt hates you
Reply

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