qn for the brothers

[Ummu Sufyaan]

:sl:
Firstly, this is a no debate zone. If any anti-islamists overtake, i’ll show you what a bad side is all about!

Amma ba3ad (to proceed):
I am trying to figure out something.

In the verse it says that men are allowed to “hit” their wives in order to discipline them.

from the brothers, I want to know- what if it were the other way around and the girl had the authority to hit you? What affect would that have on you?
Forget your ego for a second, I mean in your nature, how would a man react to that? Would he become even more stubborn, or :?

[IbnAbdulHakim]

i'd crack up



no joke

[S_87]

wow this totally is one of those totally hypothetical questions.
Howd you think these things up? :p

[Abu Sukkar]

Bro we shouldnt play around with the 'What if'

The Shariah is perfect the way it is. This is like saying 'If you was allowed to shout at your parents what would you complain about?'


Hope you understand what i mean Inshallah

Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up

[Abu Sukkar]

Whooops! Sorry sis didnt see the name and assumed it was a brother.

Answer still applies.

[aamirsaab]

:sl:
I'd do everything in my power to prevent her from ever wanting to hit me (make her waffles in the morning, tell her she looks thin even though she looks fat, clean the toilet after I use it etc). Do you know how embarassing it is for a girl to hit a boy? It's like getting a cooty-shot in the shape of a fist with enough power to make your bladder burst.

It's that bad!

[crayon]

i'd crack up



no joke

Pretty sure it would be your bones doing the cracking, bro...:X

But yeah, very interesting question, sis. :D
I shall await the replies...

[Güven]

If she has enough strength that is! :p

[S_87]

If she has enough strength that is! :p

:rollseyes all i can say is, youll see when you get married

[IbnAbdulHakim]

^ what?

but i have sisters, and they do hit me when frustrated at me

and all it does is make me laugh

quite a lot

[Yanal]

:sl:
I will feel terrible especially if it's around my parents and/or relatives. I will mostly do the same as brother aamirsaab like making parathas and changing the babies diaper.... It's really embarassing,if we get slap we stand where we are but on the other hand if we slap girls they cry and run away...

[ayan333]

:sl:

nice question sis.

Im pretty sure sister Umm ul-Shaheed is knowledgable,and know the reason behind th question.Im sure theres wisdom behind it so brothers please answer the question in a mature manner InshALLAH

answer away!

[noorseeker]

i would definately spar back with her, in a jokey kind of way,
I do it with kids now, i cant wait to get married lol


i,l be like blud, what you doin

[Yanal]

:sl:
Maybe sisters can give opinions if their husbands slap you.

[S_87]

:sl:
Maybe sisters can give opinions if their husbands slap you.

seriously?

ok it depends. on why and how.

The ayah does not give green light to men to beat their wives ever. or even to use in light stuff. there are guidelines and it is only the last resort.
so possible reaction, to be honest Allah knows best:blind:

[IbnAbdulHakim]

i think it depends on the situation entirely


if i did something horrificly wrong

and i KNOW its soooo wrong

and she hit me.. i'd probably wake up n think "yaaa... how cud i?" n feel ashamed

if however, she just gets angry, and hits me out of anger..

i will do as i stated above

[Yanal]

:sl:
^I said sisters ,which means your a sister? You already replied bro.....

[S_87]

i would definately spar back with her, in a jokey kind of way,

wait are we talking about if a woman/man hits their spouse in an
'omg ur so mean *smack*' (but not serious) kind of way or abusive kind of way???

[IbnAbdulHakim]

:sl:
^I said sisters ,which means your a sister? You already replied bro.....

and i felt like giving more insight







:)

wait are we talking about if a woman/man hits their spous in an
'omg ur so mean *smack*' kind of way or abusive kind of way???

im pretty sure abusive is meant here

[noorseeker]

im gona run behind my mum saree, and tell my mom of her hehehe

[Yanal]

:sl:
JazakAllah Khayr clarifying,and it's a topic on if a women hits her husband if he does something bad and how would you feel,my question to sisters now is,What type of bad things would you hit him for? just so I can be ready....:X

[S_87]

im pretty sure abusive is meant here

oh right because some of the replies are not abusive type replies but jokey type. honestly if a spouse is hitting because they are abusive they have some serious issues going on, it wouldnt be laughed at/brushed off.

seriously as brothers would you not feel insulted and want to hit back? :?

What type of bad things would you hit him for?

looking at another woman? :?

[ayan333]

:sl:

ummmm alot of things..maybe disrespecting,big lie.......cheating

:w:

[IbnAbdulHakim]

^

i'd laugh off any abusiveness easily

and then after shes calmed down due to my jolly nature

i'd explain what she did...

[S_87]

^

i'd laugh off any abusiveness easily

and then after shes calmed down due to my jolly nature

i'd explain what she did...

wow, that definitely is ideal. so youre in the middle of an argument. youre really angry. your wife hits and you LAUGH in a jolly manner? :thumbs_up

[IbnAbdulHakim]

wow, that definitely is ideal. so youre in the middle of an argument. youre really angry. your wife hits and you LAUGH in a jolly manner? :thumbs_up

its worked before, it will work again inshAllah
i dont think your picturing it properly


if i was hittin someone whos like "lol... wat u doin? LOL? sriously? wat u doin" n he kept smilin n bein nice, i'd b like "LOL WAT AM I DOIN?"




i mean i got annoyed at a friend once, started hittin him, he was all jolly, so i calmed down, then he explained... it works!

[Güven]

It depends on HOW she hits me and why , really.

[idk]

Tbh if and when i get a hubby i wouldnt hit him for looking at another woman - wud jus make him hate me - i would let him off 1ce or 2ce but any more times n he will get a nice, juicy, resounding slap thats gonna shake the walls of the house. lol.

Id hit him for being a prick, or not cleaning up, or saying something rude, or just p ing me off.

TIP TO SISTERS: treat ur hubby like a kid lol - reward him with smarties wen hes good, and smack him when hes bad - shud work ;)

[Intisar]

:sl: I don't think brothers take it seriously, well my experience in my brother always laughs whenever I hit him for going into my room or invading my privacy (and he's 25 and 6'2''). :X And I hit him very hard.

As for Alpha Jr's question, if my husband hit me I would be silent for like 10 minutes straight. Don't know what I'd do to be honest. Sisters are always told to ''defend themselves'', but you never really know until you're put in a situation like that.

[idk]

LOL my cousins always crack up when i hit them and I am stroong!
Theyre like...Go away, stupid kid.
Thing is Ameena and fightingforiman, your sis hitting you is not like your wife hitting you..when your wife hits you it means alot more, trust me. I mean your sister will always be your sister, but wuldnt you be afraid to lose your woman?
IF my hubby hit me i would just not believe it. I'd b silent for like..10 seconds then it really sinks in and i would go CRAZY trust me, i am loud and fiesty when im angry :P. But afterwards id be all sad n wait for him to come n say sorry n make up. and if he doesnt ill go begging him to forgive me lol.

[Muezzin]

:sl:

ummmm alot of things..maybe disrespecting,big lie.......cheating

:w:

Why hit him when you've got grounds for divorce?

[yusuf18]

lol if my wife hit me i would lough

[doorster]

In the verse it says that men are allowed to “hit” their wives in order to discipline them.

which verse? 4:34? wrong! Not this verse but a lie (and/or mistranslation which followed the lie) against Quran says it

edit: http://www.islamicboard.com/clarific...tml#post565869

[Sahabiyaat]

I would NEVER hit my husband......he would have to do something truly unforgiveable.........like....commit zina or something.Even then i would be more sad than angry.

...and sisters, hitting over small things.....now that marriage aint gna last very long.

[idk]

loool ^

so its ok for the bros to hit us over anything n everything?


any man hu lays a finger on me is out of the house in an instant - unless i did something terrible...
then i would take it.

[nebula]

if my wife hit me id make fake "ouch" noises to make her feel strong!

[Sahabiyaat]

ofcourse its not ok!, but im not gna stoop to his level.


just imagine....your husband slapping you, and then trying to be intimate with you later...i would seriously feel sick....

brothers please never hit your wives over small things, it really breaks a womans dignity and worst of all she immediately loses all respect for you. So there nothing to gain from violence.

[Mujahidah4Allah]

:sl:

yes i agree with sis Sahabiyaat, imagine the next time he raised his hand to itch his head and wifey was close by she'd think maybe 'oh oh i'm in for another slap/puch etc' noh?

wa/salam

[Vito]

from the brothers, I want to know- what if it were the other way around and the girl had the authority to hit you? What affect would that have on you?
Forget your ego for a second, I mean in your nature, how would a man react to that? Would he become even more stubborn, or

As far as the hitting goes, I think people should get more familiar with what it means to discipline someone Islamically, as shown in doorsters post. It isn't meant to hurt someone physically (punch/slap/roundhouse kick to the face/etc.).

[Ummu Sufyaan]

wow this totally is one of those totally hypothetical questions.

yeah i had a couple more, but they slipped my mind lol

Howd you think these things up? :p

over thinking :p...nah see below :D

:sl:

nice question sis.

Im pretty sure sister Umm ul-Shaheed is knowledgable,and know the reason behind th question.Im sure theres wisdom behind it so brothers please answer the question in a mature manner InshALLAH

answer away!

barakallahu feeki, but knowledgeable i deffo aint :p

the reason i asked is because i was wondering whether or not Allah legislated that she get "hit" and not the other way around cos i thought maybe just maybe there is somehting in our nature that such measures would be a benefit, due to this (unknown) thing in our nature...

but if the dude got hit and is disciplined by his wife, then maybe that would just make the situation worse. i just cant help but wonder if there is something in his nature too that the same legislation wouldn't work because of something inherent in him...

im gona run behind my mum saree, and tell my mom of her hehehe

no, dont do that. your guy, and it'll look sooooooo wrong!

[Muezzin]

I would NEVER hit my husband......he would have to do something truly unforgiveable.........like....commit zina or something.Even then i would be more sad than angry.

Why be sad when you've got grounds for divorce?

Oh.

[Musaafirah]

I'm kinda confuzzled. I thought the question was: 'What if the woman had the authority to punish their husbands (hitting or otherwise) as opposed to the dudes?'
I mean, the responses here are on the occasion of the woman hitting the dude.
What are the responses on the women having the prerogative? Not actually carrying out punishment or what not..
How would y'all feel then?

[Muezzin]

I'm kinda confuzzled. I thought the question was: 'What if the woman had the authority to punish their husbands (hitting or otherwise) as opposed to the dudes?'
I mean, the responses here are on the occasion of the woman hitting the dude.
What are the responses on the women having the prerogative? Not actually carrying out punishment or what not..
How would y'all feel then?

The same as I feel in the current situation:

If Spouse A deliberately hits Spouse B in order to 'discipline' Spouse B, Spouse B should roundhouse kick Spouse A out of the nearest window (or better yet, kick Spouse A out of the house) and file for divorce.

[doorster]

I'm kinda confuzzled. I thought the question was: 'What if the woman had the authority to punish their husbands (hitting or otherwise) as opposed to the dudes?'
I mean, the responses here are on the occasion of the woman hitting the dude.
What are the responses on the women having the prerogative? Not actually carrying out punishment or what not..
How would y'all feel then?

:sl:

I thought the question was: 'What if the woman had the authority to punish their husbands (hitting or otherwise) as opposed to the dudes?'

that op ,while being correctly understood on your part, is based on a lie i.e that man has the right to beat the woman

Therefore the question does not arise since whosoever hits the other is committing an assault which is both illegal in secular Law of UK and is against Islam according to the correct understanding of the Ayat and numerous Sahih Ahaadis

:w:

[chacha_jalebi]

one thing really interesting about the verses about beating in surah an nisa ... takhafoona, nushu zahunna ... all the way to... wadribuhunna, the actual word idribuhunna is translated as beat them, but in other places in the Quran the word is used and it is used to say explain, to expel like admonish, but anyway lol the word has multiple meanins and is translated accordin to the context, allah hu alim if its right or wrong translation, also last point then back on topic, is there any evidence that the Prophet (Saw) beat his wives? and what does the Quraan tell us in surah al ahzaab, "verily in the messenger do you have a excellent example to follow" so we should follow the Prophet (Saw) he never beat his wifes, why should we :D get me though innit wag1 minor :p

and back on topic, if my beat wife me lol, she does though :p but in the context i would obviously feel lower and like violated, its like losin a fight in the playground, you feel shamed up :(

[Güven]

and back on topic, if my beat wife me lol, she does though :p

Don't tell me you are married :uuh:

[Mysterious Uk]

I know that this thread is aimed at brothers but it is such an interesting subject i kinda have to chip in lol..

:sl:
Maybe sisters can give opinions if their husbands slap you.

It really does depend on the context.. but i always had thought i would never let my future husband hit me, i would divorce him etc but i've heard and read alota case studies and it isn't that simple. In loads of incidents a guy was really caring and loving but then their anger appears almost suddenly, and before you know it, it turns into full blown domestic violence.. imsad There are a really stupid bunch of minority people out there who mix up culture with religion and assume hitting their wives is o.k, hope people who do it get educated and realise hhow wrong it is..

On a lighter note.. if it was just playful fighting then i would probs just hit them back; it's almost instinc to hit back when you have sisters and a brother.

[Ummu Sufyaan]

:sl:

which verse? 4:34? wrong! Not this verse but a lie (and/or mistranslation which followed the lie) against Quran says it

edit: http://www.islamicboard.com/clarific...tml#post565869

that article interests me, because the following went through my mind as i read it.


Firstly: who is the author of it?

Secondly: how/why has he/she come to the conclusion that the word used in the verse actually means "Daraba (to have intercourse, not to beat),"- as was mentioned in the article, as opposed to “beating.”


I mean, isn’t possible that in the same way that they have concluded that it means "to have intercourse," then what/who is to say that the word in the ayah doesn’t in actual fact mean as was originally thought? Therefore I ask why he is/she’s conclusion any more correct than what was originally thought?

Thirdly: what further evidence has the author used that this meaning is correct? They have only explained from one point of view (i.e linguistically) without further reasoning i.e why have they gone against the well known tafseers of al-Baghawi/ibn Katheer/ibn Abbas? Why weren’t the views of the well-known mufassireen (interpreters) included in the author’s article?

Fourthly: I’m not sure that someone who doesn’t know that for the majority of Arabic verbs their root consists of short vowels. The root of the word fadhribohunna (the word in used in the verse) is ضَرَبَ (pronounced as: DhaRaBa) <---see, short vowels...but What the author has added are long vowels which is incorrect- ضا را با (pronounced as: DhaaRaabaa)<---see, long vowels.

My point: how is someone who has missed something so simple able to interpret a verse from a linguistic point of view?



Fifthly: let’s examine the author’s justification for his/her conclusion...

The ayah’s:

Let me highlight this one:

The words for (beat) as in [to hit] found in Surah Baqarah 2:275 ...
kama yaqoomu allathee yatakhabbatuhu ash-shaytanu mina almassi..
"..like the standing of someone beaten by the devil (Satan) leading him to insanity."

The beating referred to here means the following:

(Those who eat Riba will not stand (on the Day of Resurrection) except like the standing of a person beaten by Shaytan leading him to insanity.)

This Ayah means, on the Day of Resurrection, these people will get up from their graves just as the person afflicted by insanity or possesed by a demon would. Ibn `Abbas said, "On the Day of Resurrection, those who consume Riba will be resurrected while insane and suffering from seizures.'' Ibn Abi Hatim also recorded this and then commented, "This Tafsir was reported from `Awf bin Malik, Sa`id bin Jubayr, As-Suddi, Ar-Rabi` bin Anas, Qatadah and Muqatil bin Hayyan.'' Al-Bukhari recorded that Samurah bin Jundub said in the long Hadith about the dream that the Prophet had,

«فَأَتْينَا عَلَى نَهْرٍ حَسِبْتُ أَنَّهُ كَانَ يَقُولُ: أَحْمَرَ مِثْلَ الدَّمِ، وَإِذَا فِي النَّهْرِ رَجُلٌ سَابِحٌ يَسْبَحُ، وَإِذَا عَلَى شَطِّ النَّهْرِ رَجُلٌ قَدْ جَمَعَ عِنْدَهُ حِجَارَةً كَثِيرَةً،وَإِذَا ذَلِكَ السَّابِحُ يَسْبَحُ مَا يَسْبَحُ، ثُمَّ يَأْتِي ذَلِكَ الَّذِي قَدْ جَمَعَ الْحِجَارَةَ عِنْدَهُ، فَيَفْغَرُ لَهُ فَاهُ فَيُلْقِمُهُ حَجَرًا»

(We reached a river -the narrator said, "I thought he said that the river was as red as blood''- and found that a man was swimming in the river, and on its bank there was another man standing with a large collection of stones next to him. The man in the river would swim, then come to the man who had collected the stones and open his mouth, and the other man would throw a stone in his mouth.)

The explanation of this dream was that the person in the river was one who consumed Riba.

http://tafsir.com/default.asp?sid=2&tid=7242


But notice how we are not intending to beat her as to harm her, and certainly not beating her senseless...

And also the use of the hadith:

This view is strengthened by the Prophet's authentic hadith found in a number of authorities, including Bukhari and Muslim: "Could any of you beat your wife as he would a slave, and then lie with her in the evening?" There are other traditions in Abu Da'ud, Nasa'i, Ibn Majah, Ahmad bin Hanbal and others, to the effect that he forbade the beating of any woman, saying: "Never beat God's handmaidens."

How has the author come to the conclusion that the context of the hadith and verse are to be taken in the same breath? I only ask, because again, the “beating” is not intended to hurt her, whereas the hadith indicates a reprimand for beating her as to hurt her. So I don’t understand how the hadith really applies to this scenario?

[Tony]

many women hit thier husbands and because of stigma etc it is as if it is allowed, domestic violence can happen to anyone and in many different forms

[Rebel]

Depends where she hits me, I s'pose...

And I'd rather she hit me than use another weapon commonly known as "the silent treatment" <_<

I did get slapped by a girl before, though... back in my teens :X Wasn't the most pleasant experience...

[Clover]

I can't hit a girl, so it wouldn't matter either way, but if she chose to "abuse" me, I'd simply subdue her (without hitting her) then tell her it's over, and I will not put up with someone like her, who thinks she can hit me and then act like it's nothing.