View Full Version : marrying a cousin.?
adigagirl
05-08-2009, 07:53 AM
salam brothers and sisters.
i've been wondering for a long time, why do some muslims marry their cousin on purpose?
our prophet (pbuh) said that most close person (in blood) that you can marry with is your cousin. but that's just a borderline, it doesn't mean it's a muslimish way to marry a cousin. actually it's not good for the children you may have if there's a blood connection between the parents.
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Malaikah
05-08-2009, 07:58 AM
It is perfectly halal to marry your first cousin. The Prophets daughter, Fatima, married Ali, who was the Prophets first cousin.
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adigagirl
05-08-2009, 08:58 AM
salam :)
i know it is Halal, i said it myself. but at some places it is more preferable to marry their cousin than someone else , like a tradition.
why did they make it a tradition?
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Malaikah
05-08-2009, 11:16 AM
Oh okay. It wasn't very clear what you meant. Yes, I find it strange that some people tend to put such an emphasis on marriage to cousins.
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format_quote Originally Posted by
adigagirl
salam :)
i know it is Halal, i said it myself. but at some places it is more preferable to marry their cousin than someone else , like a tradition.
why did they make it a tradition?
maybe its a 'keeping it in the family'/already knowing the person kinda thing....
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convert
05-08-2009, 02:21 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by
amani
maybe its a 'keeping it in the family'/already knowing the person kinda thing....
boo to that
:thumbs_do
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some people actually want to marry their cousins 0.o'
I think most people just want to make sure their daughter/son goes to someone who they know and trust..plus they can make their rlshp with their bro/sis stronger.
I dunnoo y, i jus think marrying ur cuz is soo..wrong
i mean your mum/dad their dad/mum are BLOOD SISTERS/BROTHERS.
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noorseeker
05-08-2009, 02:38 PM
At this momemt of time, i would marry a cousin if i had one, may be because iw ould know how that person is like.
And that your inlaws are going to be your auntie or uncle, and they will have love for you.
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chacha_jalebi
05-08-2009, 02:41 PM
i dont think its a problem marryin a cousin, but like what happens most of the times is that the whole family is involved in the marriage if you get what i mean, like you dont have privacy in your married life, the whole family is involved and if the marriage dont work out, the people stay together just for the sake of the family aswell, so like i dunno it depends on how tight and close you are to your cousins and stuff
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Yanal
05-08-2009, 02:43 PM
:sl:
It might also feel weird married to a person you use to play with if you know what I mean but it's on your opinion and the cousins personaility if thats right then get your parents approval along with the cousins approval and inshAllah you guys can get married Ameen.
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Thinker
05-08-2009, 03:17 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by
Malaikah
It is perfectly halal to marry your first cousin. The Prophets daughter, Fatima, married Ali, who was the Prophets first cousin.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/new...cle3342040.ece
Minister warns of ‘inbred’ Muslims
http://www.medindia.net/news/The-Hea...n--40158-1.htm
The Heart Breaking 'Genetical Effects' of Marrying Cousins in Pakistan
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anonymous
05-08-2009, 03:40 PM
^
shame the media is not as worried about the incest potential of promouscuity ...ie. unknown fathers etc...i'd rather marry a cousin knowingly than an unknown father product who could end up being closer a relative!
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piXie
05-08-2009, 03:43 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by
anonymous
^
shame the media is not as worried about the incest potential of promouscuity ...ie. unknown fathers etc...i'd rather marry a cousin knowingly than an unknown father product who could end up being closer a relative!
yea... n the abnormal and harmful effects of men marrying men and women marrying women.
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witness
05-08-2009, 03:48 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by
piXie
yea... n the abnormal and harmful effects of men marrying men and women marrying women.
Agreed..lol...didn't think of that.
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Dawud_uk
05-08-2009, 04:11 PM
:sl:
there is nothing wrong with marrying your cousin, it is from islam but then again there is nothing wrong with marrying someone who is not your cousin which some cultural muslims seem to have forgotten.
too many times i have known of problems where someone has had huge difficulties because they want to marry someone practicing who is not from their family, it is just crazy the jahil crap their parents do to blackmail them into going along with their traditions.
:sl:
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witness
05-08-2009, 04:29 PM
too many times i have known of problems where someone has had huge difficulties because they want to marry someone practicing who is not from their family, it is just crazy the jahil crap their parents do to blackmail them into going along with their traditions.
^
i wonder ...the ones who started this tradition, were they consciusly aware of keeping their genes 'pure' :D:uuh:or is that just a side effect of wanting the family to stay together?
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in ancient egyptian times, when pharoahs and their wives were thought to be gods (stakfirulah) they used to marry their brothers and sisters...to keep the godliness in the family.
And its not jus muslims...ma non muslim friends have aunts n uncles who r cousins.
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convert
05-08-2009, 04:59 PM
Cousin marriage is a dirty stereotype of people from where I am from.
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ragdollcat1982
05-09-2009, 03:53 AM
I live in an area where incest is a problem and have seen the results of multiple generational incestous relationships. The mental and physical deformaties are awful. I would not marry a cousin myself too me it just seems wrong. While I think that in a family with no recent history of cousin marriages that their would be minimal or no effect on the children born. It from a genetic standpoint is not a good thing to keep doing generation after generation. I would prefer it I was single to marry someone not related to me.
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Malaikah
05-09-2009, 12:08 PM
^Agreed.
Besides, I know many couples who are cousins and otherwise have no history of extensive cousin-marriage in the family and
none of their children have any genetic disorder.
format_quote Originally Posted by
Thinker
And this relates to my post how, exactly?
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witness
05-09-2009, 01:51 PM
Originally Posted by Malaikah
It is perfectly halal to marry your first cousin. The Prophets daughter, Fatima, married Ali, who was the Prophets first cousin
Clearly shows the boundary of family marriages to avoid incest.
And this relates to my post how, exactly?
Looks like 'Thinker' wasn't thinking...:D
....could he/she be worrying about
:
... the incest potential of promouscuity ...ie. unknown fathers etc...where the product could end up being closer a relative !
The well being of the ancient egyptians/greeks due to incest has not appeared to bother historians, ministers or the media...so worry not Thinker...
^o). ... the attention and apparent danger is clearly only on those who are following the way of The Last Prophet :arabic5:
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Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн
05-09-2009, 03:04 PM
People seem to forget that cousin marriages still happen amongst people here...and it was something that "happened" here. Now they just want to pick on Muslims...ultimately its up to Allah swt how a child is born. I know people as well who have many healthy children MashaAllah as compared ot those who are not related in any sense and have children with so many problems.
Personally I prefer to marry outside, as I wana break the culture barrier but I have no problem with it if it came to it.
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Zafran
05-09-2009, 03:07 PM
Salaam
Some cultures its must a to marry in the family.......or else.
peace
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Mysterious Uk
05-09-2009, 03:18 PM
societal constructions could be a factor innit? I live here and so to me, marrying cousins is just not an option, i would never dream of it. But in other countries and cultures it is completly normal..
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Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн
05-09-2009, 03:21 PM
Well not always sis. I live here in the USA and the idea of cousin marriages is a strange concept to people but I still wouldn't mind :D
So ultimately its an individual thought and choice. Societal thoughts don't shape everyones mind.
:sl:
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Mysterious Uk
05-09-2009, 03:23 PM
^ hmm true..
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ragdollcat1982
05-09-2009, 07:46 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by
Light of Heaven
Well not always sis. I live here in the USA and the idea of cousin marriages is a strange concept to people but I still wouldn't mind :D
So ultimately its an individual thought and choice. Societal thoughts don't shape everyones mind.
:sl:
I live in the heart of the Appalachian mountains where incest of a linear and lateral nature of a problem and multigenerational. The region I live has a high rate of children born with physical and mental problems as a result. I would not marry a cousin because all of mine are like my brothers and sisters.
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Yanal
05-09-2009, 07:50 PM
:sl:
A better question now would be "Have you ever known a person who married his/her cousin?"
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Leyla73
05-09-2009, 07:53 PM
Good question :)
Well, personally i'm against it.. Cause when people who have the same blood marry, and have kids.. The kids usually have mental problems... :(
And seriously.. i mean imagine you know that "your daughter is married to the son of your sister"... Doesn't that sound weird???
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Yanal
05-09-2009, 08:02 PM
:sl:
That doesnt mean your totally against it,you just don't support it,exactly what I said on my first post on this thread,marrying a person who you played with during your young ages...
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ragdollcat1982
05-09-2009, 08:13 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by
Alpha Jr
:sl:
That doesnt mean your totally against it,you just don't support it,exactly what I said on my first post on this thread,marrying a person who you played with during your young ages...
I was raised by my aunt and uncle and had 3 older cousins who were just like my siblings. I have about 70 1st cousins on my moms side alone as she is the baby of 13 children, but I just could not do it nor would I permit my son to do it. Its just too weird for me.
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Yanal
05-09-2009, 10:21 PM
^Same goes for me.
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FatimaAsSideqah
05-09-2009, 10:37 PM
:w:
Marriages between first cousins are allowed in Islam.
In surat an-Nisa' (4:22-24), Allah mentioned the women who are forbidden for marriage and then He said, "… Lawful to you are all beyond those mentioned, so that you may seek them with your wealth in honest wedlock…" In surat al-Ahzab (33:50), Allah Taala mentioned to the Prophet that he may marry the daughters of his uncles and aunts from the father's side or the mother's side. It is the consensus of the jurists that this permission was not only for the Prophet, but it is also a permission for other believers. Muslims have practiced marriages between first cousins in all countries since the time of the Prophet.
There is nothing wrong in this marriage. However, it is a good practice to have a blood test before marriage. If one suspects some hereditary disease or any other problem then he/she should seek the advice of a medical expert in this field. The chances of health risk in this marriage are very rare. Most of the marriages have been good and children quite healthy.
it may be preferable to marry people who are non-relations, for example if one aspires to form new social ties or bonds, and regards the existence of a marriage relationship with a different family as constructive in widening the circle of social bonds.
Allah Taala know the best!
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Leyla73
05-09-2009, 10:38 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by
Alpha Jr
^Same goes for me.
And me :)
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aadil77
05-09-2009, 10:48 PM
I think from the day I was born or from when I was quite young my mum had already decided which cousin I was going marry, from backhome. lol I was err.. well ticked off when I recently found out :D but aint happenin InshAllah muahahaha
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Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн
05-10-2009, 01:25 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by
ragdollcat1982
I live in the heart of the Appalachian mountains where incest of a linear and lateral nature of a problem and multigenerational. The region I live has a high rate of children born with physical and mental problems as a result. I would not marry a cousin because all of mine are like my brothers and sisters.
Im not really sure what that had to do with my post? Sorry im actually unsure...:-[
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Malaikah
05-10-2009, 03:10 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by
Leyla73
Good question :)
Well, personally i'm against it.. Cause when people who have the same blood marry, and have kids.. The kids usually have mental problems... :(
And seriously.. i mean imagine you know that "your daughter is married to the son of your sister"... Doesn't that sound weird???
Usually is a HUGE exaggeration! I know so many children whose parents are cousin and none of them has any genetic abnormality!
As someone mentioned earlier the problems occur with extensive cousin marriage. For example: your parents are cousins, your grandparents are cousins, your great grandparents are cousins.
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Yeah i know what you mean- i found it strange as well but my parents are cousin so im getting 2 used 2 it
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Beardo
06-25-2009, 01:50 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by
Bub
Yeah i know what you mean- i found it strange as well but my parents are cousin so im getting 2 used 2 it
That's why we should maintain "purdah" or segregation from our cousins. They are marriageable to us!
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format_quote Originally Posted by
eHafiz
That's why we should maintain "purdah" or segregation from our cousins. They are marriageable to us!
well we
all are brothers and sisters bec our parents are Eve and Adam, innt? so thats dont matter who we are married to? Am i right? If im mistake, someone correct me please :-[
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Zafran
06-25-2009, 02:15 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by
Bub
well we all are brothers and sisters bec our parents are Eve and Adam, innt? so thats dont matter who we are married to? Am i right? If im mistake, someone correct me please :-[
salaam
specific people cannot be marraid - close relatives eg Uncles, brothers and sisters.
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format_quote Originally Posted by
Zafran
salaam
specific people cannot be marraid - close relatives eg Uncles, brothers and sisters.
Of course i mean take cousin for an example
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Beardo
06-25-2009, 03:48 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by
Bub
Of course i mean take cousin for an example
lol yes, that's true. But some people prefer their own family, tribe (?), or/and race. You can't really blame them though... Once becomes accustomed to their own culture after a while, even though these cultures are all under the one hood of Islam! That's what makes us so special! We are so diverse, Alhamdulillah. :D W can brag about having EVERY nationality! And scores of each one, as well. We have various mixes of races as well. Masha'Allah!
Takbeer! :D I wonder why I have such a hard time saying this out loud at actual live gatherings.... :skeleton::rollseyes
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format_quote Originally Posted by
eHafiz
lol yes, that's true. But some people prefer their own family, tribe (?), or/and race. You can't really blame them though... Once becomes accustomed to their own culture after a while, even though these cultures are all under the one hood of Islam! That's what makes us so special! We are so diverse, Alhamdulillah. :D W can brag about having EVERY nationality! And scores of each one, as well. We have various mixes of races as well. Masha'Allah!
Takbeer! :D I wonder why I have such a hard time saying this out loud at actual live gatherings.... :skeleton::rollseyes
yeah i think so or maybe their family know each other very well? of course not MASHAALLAH :thumbs_up
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Muhaba
06-25-2009, 04:33 PM
I don't see anything wrong with marriage between cousins. What I find wierd is people marrying their step-parents/step-children and parents-in-law and children-in-law. That i find totally unacceptable but it is allowed in western culture (from what I've seen in soap operas). (It is not allowed in Islam though.)
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format_quote Originally Posted by
muhaba
I don't see anything wrong with marriage between cousins. What I find wierd is people marrying their step-parents/step-children and parents-in-law and children-in-law. That i find totally unacceptable but it is allowed in western culture (from what I've seen in soap operas). (It is not allowed in Islam though.)
Yeah I agree like domestic stories on magazine, some young girls go out with teachers at their school and sometimes have sexual relatives with them. boyfriend/girlfriend found out they were brother/sister in law. +o(
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Malaikah
06-27-2009, 09:12 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by
Bub
boyfriend/girlfriend found out they were brother/sister in law. +o(
What's wrong with that?
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format_quote Originally Posted by
aadil77
I think from the day I was born or from when I was quite young my mum had already decided which cousin I was going marry, from backhome. lol I was err.. well ticked off when I recently found out :D but aint happenin InshAllah muahahaha
#
AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu
Well you need to get married to someone soon, otherwise, there wont' be anymore fishes in the sea :rollseyes
Hows the search going?
FiAmaaniAllah Reply
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