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idk
05-08-2009, 02:13 PM
Well i posted a thread abowt homeschooling
BUT
its really not working for me..i did try to go school this week but I only went for half a day (half of wednesday) and it was mostly a meeting about things...after that I had the choice on wether to go or not.

Ok, basically, my parents have 0 patience and alot of time. They dont work, because my dad lost his job, and I gave up in the second day and said:
'Know what, no one in this family will get n e where. Were all gonna fail so lets jus take the shortcut..'
so i give up, i really dont care about the education bit anymore, but i do care about my social life (may god rest its soul). I MEAN, i used to be a social person. i used to hang out with my friends after school everyday.

My parents are tryna get me into a muslim school, here.
But that wont be til next yr.

Anyway, my new school was mixed and thing is, even though im strong, you cant really be that strong if theres a really fit boy talkin to you..next tym ur gonna want to talk to him, then touch him...etc.
So thats why i pulled my self out. Cuz i could see jus where I was gnna go..the first day I started a whole group of boys came up and started asking me questions and tellin me how 'boom' i looked and i felt trapped but then all my new girlfriends came along and told them to go away pretty sharply.

but u see what I mean...me going to school will lead me only to trouble and sin.

So i thought...best to stay here.

but now its horrible and boring and i feel sooo lame and tired of it all and depressed.


Helppppp?! I can jump from the frying pan to the fire, or jus stay in the frying pan for another...3 months, thats if the skl accept me considering my appaling behaviour record!

Salams
:exhausted:blind:
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Yanal
05-08-2009, 02:17 PM
:sl:
There's an another thread like this,just use the search bar.
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idk
05-08-2009, 02:21 PM
What should i search?
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Yanal
05-08-2009, 02:24 PM
:sl:
Just key words "homeschooling" if you can't find it look up Sister Jawarahs profile and look for a homeschooling thread for an alternative and inshAllah you will find it and it will help you find the best path for you. Ameen.
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idk
05-08-2009, 02:31 PM
bro theres a like a billion homeschooling threads...and none of them are like mine...well theres one that i made..lol. this is like the second part for my first thread...if that makes sense


linkage, please?

Salams bro
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Yanal
05-08-2009, 02:41 PM
:sl:
Ok but in 20 minutes since Im going to school and Ill try to post it from there inshAllah.
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Muhammad
05-08-2009, 02:58 PM
:sl:

If I've understood this correctly, your options are:
1. Staying at home and doing nothing
2. Continuing at your school where there is temptation of sin
3. Waiting to be accepted at a new Islamic school, but which might not accept you

Have I got this right?

i really dont care about the education bit anymore, but i do care about my social life (may god rest its soul).
I think you've got this the wrong way round. You need to try to give yourself the best choices in life, and education is much more important than a social life in that respect. And giving up is never a good idea. If you put the effort in and rely on Allaah (swt), you will get somewhere Insha'Allaah.

Regarding temptations - this is why Hijab is important. Hijab is like a message to people that you are a modest person and don't wish to get involved in indecent behaviour. Moreover, it conceals you so as not to attract unwanted attention. You may already wear it but just in case you don't - it would be a good idea to do so Insha'Allaah.

Often we are faced with many difficult choices in life. But Alhamdulillah we have Allaah (swt) to turn to and seek His guidance. Turn to Allaah (swt) and you will never go wrong...

http://www.islamicboard.com/advice-s...-guidance.html

:w:
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idk
05-08-2009, 03:11 PM
See, hijab aint the problem, my friend wears hijab and shes known as a ehm, bit of a player. Shes been with loads of people..
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anonymous
05-08-2009, 03:20 PM
obtaining an education alone is not something that could lead to bad deeds.....could your social life be more likely of getting you into fitna..(ie..judging by your friend).
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noorseeker
05-08-2009, 03:27 PM
well you should advise your friend, does she feel no shame
but then again, you are the girl. you have the power to say no.
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idk
05-08-2009, 03:45 PM
I didnt know her long enough...she is a nice person and wears long skirts, etc but i was shocked to hear some of the things shes got up to.

Anyways id rather keep maself out of trouble than risk my repuatation...islamic reputation..but u see im v. social and if i go to school i always get asked to parties nd i cant go n then i end up resenting my parents even though I know its wrong!
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Dawud_uk
05-08-2009, 04:17 PM
:sl:

you made the right choice in withdrawing yourself from mixed education, the ulema are pretty much agreed this is not allowed, they just dont tell the masses because they know they wouldnt follow it and would therefore lose credibility.

but you made the wrong choice giving up on education, you are in secondary school, this means you are old enough to do it yourself if you want, look up home schooling info, your folks can fill in the forms and talk to the social workers etc you just get on with learning.

learn maths and english, islamic studies, Quran, and then whatever you find interesting pick it up, read, learn, sign up to home schooling forums and sites and get learning stuff for your age group, make notes.

sure it will be difficult, but who said life is meant to be easy? especially when you are sacrificing something for the deen.

RE social interaction, attend local sisters study groups, talks, get to know sisters online and meet up with good practicing ones (not the non-practicing ones who just gossip 24/7)

:sl:
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idk
05-08-2009, 04:43 PM
thanks bro thats exactly what i was thinking.

Someone said if u give something up for the sake of Allah, he will give u sumthink better than it...so I hope i get sumthin better...

i jus feel lousy stayin at home n doin nothing tho..

yh there are some youth clubs (muslim sisters) i can go to.
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Dawud_uk
05-08-2009, 04:54 PM
Originally Posted by idk
thanks bro thats exactly what i was thinking.

Someone said if u give something up for the sake of Allah, he will give u sumthink better than it...so I hope i get sumthin better...

i jus feel lousy stayin at home n doin nothing tho..

yh there are some youth clubs (muslim sisters) i can go to.
there you go inshallah things will be easier for you soon, after every hardship comes ease.

check out this website, join if you like. it is a home schooling forum, my wife is on there and there are a lot of sisters on this site, ask their advice and take responsibility yourself,

http://www.islamichomeeducation.co.uk/

remember in the deen we are adults from puberty, not because of some age picked out of the air 100 years ago by some old fuddy duddy parliamentarian.

Allah lets us know when we are old enough to make mature decisions, so take your life's choices into your own hands and get on with it.
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idk
05-08-2009, 05:33 PM
lol bro the link to the forum on the site doesnt work
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Muhammad
05-08-2009, 05:41 PM
:sl:

It's working for me.

learn maths and english, islamic studies, Quran,
And science! Maths, English and Science are the 3 main ones at school.
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mathematician
05-08-2009, 05:46 PM
salamu 'alaykum,
There are a few things to consider. Education is very important. Without education it becomes even more difficult to practice Islam. Ignorance is just not good for anybody. I am surprised at the level of temptation you feel you are facing. I was raised in a christian country and there is temptation around but it is not as bad you put it. As someone else pointed out, the people you talk to are probably the problem and not necessarily the place itself.
Maybe you just reached puberty and that makes you have some desires you didn't have before and you are over-reacting if I may say. It is not true that if a boy talks to you, then you will talk to him, and it leads to touching.
There are so many muslims who live in non-muslim countries and yes we are in mixed schools but we don't all touch people of the opposite gender.
Do you see where I am going?
What I am trying to get you to think is that with the mentality you have it will be nearly impossible to follow Islam properly. There will be temptation no matter what, there will be temptation even if let's say you get married. It's something we have to learn to live with. Find yourself friends that are not touched by other guys in front of you for example. Find friends that care about the hereafter and not just boys.
I don't think you should do home schooling. You will miss out on the social interaction part that is essential for personal development. You just need to take a deep breath, find a group of muslims to talk to, and be stronger than this.
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idk
05-08-2009, 05:52 PM
True...im not over reacting bro, i havent mentioned it all.
Anyway ive disappeared mysteriously for 4 weeks and if i come back now it will be soo wierd..plus everyone expects u to be hyper all the time..or maybe im jus putting pressure on myself? Maybe i do need to be brave.
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Mujahidah4Allah
05-08-2009, 05:54 PM
:sl:

is there a prayer room you can hang in? Thats what i used to do in college when i wanted to keep away from the whole nonsense!

wa/salam
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nebula
05-08-2009, 05:57 PM
^ good advice bro math

Ukthi its a good choice that your parents have made mashallah to send you to a muslim school, but like u said u gotta wait 1 year before you get in and you also said that you might not get in because of ur behaviour records right? So my advice to you would be that don't let these temptations weaken you in anyway know that Allah is testing you and you gotta do your best at all times, the muslims before us had much harder tests compared to the ones we have now and they coped with them, they were physically and mentally tested subhannallah they were strong. Remember ukthi Allah will only give you a test that you can handle he won't give you more then you can handle. So think about that, try being around good influence, do dua to Allah with all your heart to protect you from Shaytaan our biggest enemy who wants to lead us to destruction of our souls.

all the best!:thumbs_up
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mathematician
05-08-2009, 06:08 PM
sister nebula said it well. The thing is sister feeling attraction toward boys/men will always be there. I have to live with feeling attracted to women and it's not so bad. :)
It can be difficult at times but if you lower your gaze, go around people with good morals, and be realistic about life then everything will turn out good insha'Allah.
I remember back in puberty I felt so much pressure. It was kind of crazy. You get these new desires that were not there before and you feel like you cannot go on anymore. There is some good news :) when you turn into an adult things will calm down and it will be much easier to handle it. Best wishes.
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idk
05-08-2009, 06:09 PM
but bro i dont wear hijab and am not yet ready to so thats not an option and people think im 'that' type of girl.

and bro their arent any of the good people ur talkin bout in my school...i dont like the boys they like me! and u get alooot of unwanted attention especially when ur hangin out alone and not with ur friends..anotha thing when i was at skl i forgot all bout islam and allah and jus focused on other things like..my hair, going out, etc!

maybe i shud jus get ova myself lol
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nebula
05-08-2009, 06:11 PM
^ im a brother akhi :P and if you look at my picture it shows a nebula :D
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nebula
05-08-2009, 06:13 PM
Originally Posted by idk
but bro i dont wear hijab and am not yet ready to so thats not an option and people think im 'that' type of girl.

and bro their arent any of the good people ur talkin bout in my school...i dont like the boys they like me! and u get alooot of unwanted attention especially when ur hangin out alone and not with ur friends..anotha thing when i was at skl i forgot all bout islam and allah and jus focused on other things like..my hair, going out, etc!

maybe i shud jus get ova myself lol
uktih maybe you should make yourself ready, when you wear the hijab inshallah you'll see things change inshallah! May Allah protect you ameen
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mathematician
05-08-2009, 06:18 PM
Ops I am sorry brother nebula. I will remember that for next time.
idk where do you live? What country? There must be some good muslims around you, no? Also, do you do something that makes boys think it's ok to talk to you? (i.e. maybe you show that you like it and it encourages their behaviour)
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idk
05-08-2009, 06:21 PM
no i dont! i dont even talk to the boys..i just smile politely..
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alcurad
05-08-2009, 06:38 PM
I'd say do go to school, it's benefits outweigh any potential losses, and you probably felt that way because it was your first time, just hang out with the other girls in class, being in a group of even two or three should usually deter unwanted attention.
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Mujahidah4Allah
05-08-2009, 06:38 PM
^ don't smile at them sis that may encourage them e.g they may think 'she smiled at me cool i'm in there now i think she likes me' type of thing... no?

wa/salam
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aadil77
05-08-2009, 06:59 PM
Originally Posted by idk
Anyway, my new school was mixed and thing is, even though im strong, you cant really be that strong if theres a really fit boy talkin to you..next tym ur gonna want to talk to him, then touch him...etc.
See that just shows you're not actually that 'strong' you're just the opposite, see anyone can play a girl these days its so easy and I've seen it done so many times by 'muslims', usually asian girls are the weakest and easily influenced; a few laughs together a few smiles and the stupid girl will fall for even the ugliest bugger with a hairstyle and new clothes. If you were strong, you'd be raw with anyone tryin that, you'd tell them to f off(not that a muslim should do, but you know what I mean) and make them feel like shiite, thats what I do anyway, make em feel ugly and nasty so they'll keep their distance for next time

the first day I started a whole group of boys came up and started asking me questions and tellin me how 'boom' i looked and i felt trapped but then all my new girlfriends came along and told them to go away pretty sharply.
'boom' lol - did you look like you were about to detonate? you mean 'bum'. Don't mind me asking, what were you wearing? I'll tell you now if you dressed and acted like a proper 'hijabi' and not a 'hoejabi' then lads would not look at you twice. Boys can and will easily interpet any girl if shes not not wearing loose clothes. And muslim guys are aware of 'hoejabis', if you even smile at a guy then in his eyes you are a slag and a potential target, so watch it
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crayon
05-08-2009, 07:20 PM
The best way to deal with guys is to pretend they don't exist. That sounds kind of mean, but it's not really. Smile at them, they get interested, glare at them, they get interested, but stare straight past them... always works for me! :thumbs_up
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noorseeker
05-08-2009, 07:33 PM
sister, theres a massive test in the big wide world, what happens when your out on the street, isnt there more guys about . Obviously your in school age now and boys will hit on you.

BOYS . When your get around college age, MEN yes MEN not boys, are going to hit on you.

Well done for at least realising it is a problem, and asking for advice, a lot of girls dont think its a big problem.
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idk
05-08-2009, 08:14 PM
Thanks so much for ur advice...I'll jus ignore all of them...which is rlly hard...people might take it wrong and think im, a you know, lezbo.

And i meant boom...its the thing to say lol.
I was wearing a coat up to my knees and loose trousers.

And i dont wear make up, just eyeliner, i wear my hair up and thats it rlly..no perfume n stuff, just body spray that wears off.

Still dont no what to do tho...
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nebula
05-08-2009, 08:21 PM
wear a hijab :P
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G├╝ven
05-08-2009, 08:23 PM
Originally Posted by idk
people might take it wrong and think im, a you know, lezbo.
you really shouldn't care about what people think, trust me, they are not worth it.
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aadil77
05-08-2009, 09:45 PM
Originally Posted by idk
Thanks so much for ur advice...I'll jus ignore all of them...which is rlly hard...people might take it wrong and think im, a you know, lezbo.
If you cover up properly and wear a hijab then theyd think.... you're a muslim, do you get it? its an identity as well,

and its hard ignoring who? stick with your girl friends and avoid em when they get up to no good
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idk
05-09-2009, 06:50 PM
ok ive decided that i should go back to school, since i made the decision quickly and i have missed three exams, and need to get back asap to do them!

Is this a good decision?
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noorseeker
05-09-2009, 07:24 PM
Yes inshallah go back
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idk
05-09-2009, 09:15 PM
heres a link on people who homeschool/
Ive actually decided that school aint the best thing....ARGHHH SO CONFUSED!

http://homeschooling.about.com/od/so...al_with_it.htm
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Yanal
05-09-2009, 09:32 PM
:sl:
Go on your own opinion and inshAllah it will be right.
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idk
05-09-2009, 09:40 PM
inshallah, i wish it will..
school is jus so bleurgh, i cant deal wit goin into a building everyday and comin out havin learned nothing...i just dont learn the textbook way, i like findin out myself, and seeing things, so if we was doin science, biology, id rather go check out a zoo and see the way the animals lived rather than learn bout how they lived from a few faded pictures off a old textbook.

As well, i seriousely doubt that im gonna get anywhere cuz ive already missed half of the gcses.


Whoops

I think i'll put myself in the 'special needs' kids section, not cuz am mentally - ya know, but cuz i need special attention or an interesting, physical lesson otherwise am jus gonna zone out tha whole thing.

So id rather hav someone one to one me and stuff rather than do all the 'whole class' crap.
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Yanal
05-09-2009, 09:45 PM
:sl:
I personally hate school,same life for 5 years,sleep,eat,homework ,tests and exams. Wish we could have a muslim school where members of Islamic Board only,and admins could be principals,Supermods could be supervisers and mods can be teachers.... How's that for an idea?
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idk
05-09-2009, 09:48 PM
Great....i think school so wastes 5 good years of life that are never gonna come back around!

At least if we have an LI skl we can chill at home and drink soda pop all day (:

Lol mods pay attention ^^

is college the same?
And uni
:skeleton:

Gosh...so actually, we start livin our life at 25-30 dependin on what u study....

WHOA! thats half ur life wasted...if u live that long !
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The Ruler
05-09-2009, 09:53 PM
Originally Posted by idk
people might take it wrong and think im, a you know, lezbo.
There's nothing wrong with that. If you're a muslim (and wearing a hijaab will make you apeear like one), people will know you're not homosexual because muslims have a good reputation when it comes to homo-bashing.

I don't understand why you see school as such a bad thing. I loved my school life. The mixed school life not so much... But girls' school was definitely fun. And college life in an all girls' sixth form is probably one of the best experiences you'll ever get. The freedom, the fun and the excitement is worth all the exam fungus you have to go through in the end. v_v
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NIKKY
05-09-2009, 10:16 PM
sis idk..i knw were ur cumin frm..one min i ws happy at school n nxt min i wntd 2 run frm it...! At 1st evn i did'nt wear hijab i ws in2 oda stuff n dat....! but a year o 2 lata i realizd all dis chillin out was'nt worth it n i changed....i began 2 wear hijab n it ws da best desicion i made eva...! I ws lucky cuz i had da chance 2 perform hajj while in school so all dem negative thoughts i had turned in2 positive thoughts...!
i really rekon u should stick 2 school and just try n really forcus n fink of wat relly matters....Inshallah u'll be fine sis...all da best....x
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alcurad
05-10-2009, 04:42 AM
good luck :), and remember nothing substitutes for hard work.
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mathematician
05-10-2009, 08:10 PM
I don't think being in school is wasting your life. Why not talk to a close relative of
yours that is much older than you for advice? Sis I am sorry but from your comments
I don't think you are in a position to make your own decision. You need someone
who can think much more ahead of your life.
I don't know if you will be offended. I hope not, but seriously talk to some elders.
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ahmed_indian
05-12-2009, 04:40 PM
Originally Posted by idk
heres a link on people who homeschool/
Ive actually decided that school aint the best thing....ARGHHH SO CONFUSED!

http://homeschooling.about.com/od/so...al_with_it.htm
:sl: sister,

u seems so confused and funny!

i think u need to start ur life with a new beginning....school is not life.

why dont u read Quran's translation and prophet's biography in ur free time and understand life better?

there is a need to have a goal in life: so why not Allah's pleasure and jannah (u might get lots of soda pop there!)

if u dont like maths and science, go for Islamic studies and dawah. Allah Has created everybody differently and for different purposes.

:w:
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idk
05-16-2009, 07:32 PM
yh ive gone back to school alhumdulilah im working but you know im losing my iman...

My heart feels so much harder than it was...i dont know why...

Pray for me everyone, and may Allah grant you all Jannah...no amount of education in this world can stand tall compared to the day of judgement...
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ahmed_indian
05-17-2009, 04:26 PM
Originally Posted by idk
no amount of education in this world can stand tall compared to the day of judgement...
u have said a great sentence!

may Allah help u.

but if u really fear about weakening ur iman @ school, i'll advice you to look for other altenative.

maybe some islamic school - females only- or some halaqah.
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