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hockey_player
05-14-2009, 04:05 PM
Salam alaikum,

I need advice on something and was wondering if you could help.

Basically i have a friend who is a prostitute, she is algerian and muslim, and has asked for my help to get her out of it. Since i found out about it ive been so disgusted by her that i havent really been able to speak to her much.
I was just wondering, should i help her and if so how should i help her?

Many Thanks,

Karim
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ahmed_indian
05-14-2009, 04:45 PM
salaam bro,

brother u cant have a female friend as a Allah-fearing person.

second, tell her to fear Allah. death can come any moment and hell-fire is truly painful.

tell her about wht will others think of her,

and the pleasures of paradise also
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FatimaAsSideqah
05-14-2009, 04:57 PM
:sl:

Any one who commits Zina (adultery/fornication) with a woman should make sincere repentance. She also turns to Allah Ta'ala in repentance and her period of "Iddah" comes to an end Insha'Allah.
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Erundur
05-14-2009, 04:59 PM
what is her financial situation? is she a student? some do it to help pay for bills
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ragdollcat1982
05-14-2009, 05:03 PM
Prostitution is a dangerous thing to do. Here in America the common street walkers are often those who have ran away from home and end up being hooked on drugs working for some pimp who gives her only enough for her next fix. If she does not bring in her quota she is severly beaten or worse... I would urge this man to get women involved who can maybe get her out of this. Prostitution is often called a "victimless" crime. Often the women who do it and the wife of the man who patronize her are the ones to suffer.
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hockey_player
05-14-2009, 05:10 PM
this girl is 21, lives in UK and has no family. From what i can tell shes had some problems growing up, maybe a victim of abuse.

She says she has nobody else who can help her, only me. Part of me wants to stay clear of her but my concious is telling me i should do something to help her.

Im confused.
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جوري
05-14-2009, 05:34 PM
This is really difficult, and I believe she is turning to prostitution not because she wants to, but she doesn't have any skill or talent to make money.. akhi you are not asked to marry her but you really should try to help her.. Now, that being said, I believe this is well beyond what you can do personally.

I am sure there are hot-lines in England that you can call or make her in contact with for some rehabilitation, and that will help her find a decent job.
I think perhaps she can find any sort of remedial work now, like bagging groceries or cleaning houses or babysitting.. anything.. she must learn that there is an alternative source of income other than selling her body.

Now, if in fact you get her in touch with a counselor then that is the greatest gift you'll give her.. You don't have to have anything to do with her other than give her a chance to rehabilitate herself.. so that one day she'll repent and have a chance like everyone else...

I have to say I feel really sorry for her.. la 7wala wla qiwta illa billah...
imagine how desperate a person has to be to sell themselves?
if you give her money, you'll have helped her for a day.. if you help her find a steady job you'll have given her a chance at a decent life and repentance..

I hear from my brother that many iraqis are also turning to prostitution because of the war.. people are poor and starving and in bad shape, and I feel like we are responsible for them, like we drove them to this because we couldn't stand up for them.. and it just makes me really sad imsad

:w:
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aamirsaab
05-14-2009, 05:59 PM
:sl:
She has no family right? In which case, your best bet is to take her in. Tell your parents her situation, see if they can make arrangements at home - better for her to have some security (keep her AWAY from those other people as much as possible). If it was me in your shoes, this is exactly what I would do.

If you are unable to arrange housing for her, get in touch with the local council or various help lines, like maybe this one: the samaritans and explain the situation.

May Allah make it easy for you both.
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Cabdullahi
05-14-2009, 06:05 PM
Brother help her and guide her to make herself a better muminah

and if you really want to please allah then marry her (after all she is your friend) and provide for her
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جوري
05-14-2009, 06:08 PM
Great advise bro Amir and Abdullah ( I don't know about marriage though) if he can barely speak with her because he is repulsed.. I think a charitable act is best in this case
I just wanted to add to the above, that you might consider reflecting on suret Ad-duha

Yusufali 93:1] By the Glorious Morning Light,
[Yusufali 93:2] And by the Night when it is still,-
[Yusufali 93:3] Thy Guardian-Lord hath not forsaken thee, nor is He displeased.
[Yusufali 93:4] And verily the Hereafter will be better for thee than the present.
[Yusufali 93:5] And soon will thy Guardian-Lord give thee (that wherewith) thou shalt be well-pleased.
[Yusufali 93:6] Did He not find thee an orphan and give thee shelter (and care)?
[Yusufali 93:7] And He found thee wandering, and He gave thee guidance.
[Yusufali 93:8] And He found thee in need, and made thee independent.
[Yusufali 93:9] Therefore, treat not the orphan with harshness,
[Yusufali 93:10] Nor repulse the petitioner (unheard);
[Yusufali 93:11] But the bounty of the Lord - rehearse and proclaim!


*****

in other words, anyone who asks for your help, not to turn away from the.. and Allah swt know best!
:w:
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ardianto
05-14-2009, 06:11 PM
Help her find a steady job and make her sure, although income from halal job is smaller than income from prostitution, that is better than haram money. And make her sure, Allah always help anyone who walks on the right way.

Actualy, she need socializing, but she worry people will not accept her. Help her find more friends who can makes her feel comfort.
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Yanal
05-14-2009, 11:19 PM
Guide her with you,tell her to follow Islam and get her a job near you where she wouldnt be asked what her previous work was. She needs a change in environment and atmosphere. You and her need patience to get through this. May Allah grant you patience and a good job. Ameen!
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Abu Sukkar
05-15-2009, 12:12 AM
What town is she in?

This is a general muslim womens helpline 08088010301

Get her to call or you call and get some practical advice.

Make dua for her, everyone here make dua for her. Its not the place of a Muslim to turn thier backs and judge.

Omar(ra) once helped an alcoholic by giving him sincere dawah and asking everyone who was there to make dua for the man and Alhumdolilah he gave it up.
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Dawud_uk
05-15-2009, 07:27 AM
:sl:

you have two problems, one much more serious than the other.

one is the situation the sister is in, the more serious, the other is your mixing with ghair mahram women which you also shouldnt do but right now the first needs sorting before we can move onto the second.

ideally if we had shelters for women in the muslim community she would have somewhere to go, but the muslims are neglegent of their duties so you need to help her best you can.

i think the best situation would be if you can have a female relative take her in, see she is fed and clothed, has a roof over her head, get her into good company of sisters who dont necessarily need to know her full situation (though the one whose house she is stopping in should do really before they let such a person in).

as for your friendship, you need to hand over this problem to others, i.e sisters as and when you can, as she trusts others more but you also cannot let her go back to her lifestyle.

:sl:
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جوري
05-15-2009, 04:24 PM
Early Muslim society wasn't a segregated one..

Has anyone read suret Al-Mujaadila? sura no# 58 btw

if he is in a position to offer help, he should!
secondly, NO WOMAN WANTS TO BE A PROSTITUTE!
people want to be prostitutes as much as they want to have a sexually transmitted disease. We really need to rise above that judgmental way we view people, those who are far less fortunate. Especially that we as Muslims are responsible for them and we pretty much drove them to this by allying ourselves with kaffirs and neglecting our duties as Muslims...


Iraqi Refugees Turn to Prostitution

So much for “Operation Iraqi Freedom“:
By OMAR SINAN, Associated Press Writer
Wed Oct 24, 3:24 AM ET
DAMASCUS, Syria - The Iraqi women jump onto the stage at the al-Rawabi club, their long black hair swinging, their young faces caked with makeup. Iraqi pop music booms out as they sway and dance under strobe lights.
Nearby, a woman nicknamed At’outa meets her paying dates — men who hand over $90 a night for companionship and sex.
This club in northwest Damascus represents one of the most troubling aspects of the Iraqi refugee crisis — Iraqi women and girls who are turning to prostitution to survive in countries that have taken them in but won’t let them or their families work at most other jobs.
No reliable figures of Iraqi prostitutes exist, but an increase in the number of Iraqi women seen in recent months in clubs and on the streets of Damascus, Amman and other cities suggests the problem is growing as more Iraqis flee their country’s violence.
Most of the Iraqi women at the al-Rawabi club appeared to be in their late teens and early 20s although some were older. While some danced on stage, about a half-dozen others strolled around the tables, smiling at men and inviting offers to sit down for a drink.
Ayman al-Halaqi, a club manager here, said Iraqi dancers are cheaper to hire than Syrians. Back home, even dancing in a skimpy costume would be considered shameful. Iraqi women who go beyond that can earn 10 times more from a single encounter with a client than by working a full day as a housemaid.
At the al-Rawabi club, the usual customers are mostly Iraqi or Syrian men, but summer brought the annual flood of visitors from Persian Gulf states and Saudi Arabia.
Bassam Abdul-Wahid, a 27-year-old Iraqi who runs an import-export business in Damascus, was partying with three male companions at the club one evening. Sporting three gold rings and a flashy gold bracelet, he motioned for more whiskey as two slender young Iraqi women in tight jeans slipped into chairs at the men’s table.
Abdul-Wahid, a regular at al-Rawabi, joked that he likes his table to be “an example of Iraqi generosity.” As the liquor flowed, the women laughed and exchanged “high-fives” with the men — but refused to talk with a reporter.
At’outa, a blonde in her late 30s whose nickname means “little kitten” in Arabic, agreed to tell her story but refused to give her real name for fear neighbors or her children would learn what she does.
Last year, she fled Iraq with her son and two daughters, all teenagers, after her husband was gunned down by militants in Baghdad’s volatile Ghazaliyah district.
After a few months in Syria, her late husband’s savings were running out. She tried working as a tailor and a housemaid, but could not make ends meet, she said. Then, a man offer to cancel a $250 debt in exchange for sex. Since then, she has regularly met other dates at the al-Rawabi club, where sex earns her enough money to pay the bills.



this is the harsh reality of our sisters, who have lost their families and been made to leave their homes!

again I say, La 7wala wla qiwta illa billah

:w:
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جوري
05-15-2009, 05:09 PM
as an addendum to the above:
if these women had a decent education to begin with, it would sustain them wherever they go in the world or whatever vicissitudes of life throws their way .. I just want to leave that as a note to folks who find no use in schooling, as is apparent from some of the posts on this section, leaving it to some gallant knight to come save them from the harsh realities.. life isn't a fairy tale..

:w:

:w:
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aadil77
05-15-2009, 05:23 PM
I don't get this, are you suggesting that they aren't at fault for turning to prostitution for income? is there honestly no other islamic alternative? Because this is seriously disgusting and saddening that some muslim women have to go soo low to support themeselves and their children
SubhanAllah
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aadil77
05-15-2009, 05:26 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by ragdollcat1982
Prostitution is a dangerous thing to do. Here in America the common street walkers are often those who have ran away from home and end up being hooked on drugs working for some pimp who gives her only enough for her next fix. If she does not bring in her quota she is severly beaten or worse... I would urge this man to get women involved who can maybe get her out of this. Prostitution is often called a "victimless" crime. Often the women who do it and the wife of the man who patronize her are the ones to suffer.

Is that the only bad thing about prostitution?
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hockey_player
05-15-2009, 08:49 PM
Thank you all for your replies, with your advice i have told her i will help her.

I am currently looking for a female muslim counsellor which i'll pay for, and a suitable sister or family who she can stay with until she finds a job. I will buy her food and essentials.

Once again thank you all.
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witness
05-15-2009, 09:04 PM
:sl:

www.sakinah.org ...website for islamic counselling in the uk.

:w:
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Tony
05-15-2009, 09:09 PM
may Allah guide you bro, there is no judgement except Allahs judgement, if your righteous and your heart leads you to help this woman then I think you should. This test is for you as much as your friend. I know something of what you are going through and it maybe that you are the only lifeline she has. May Allah guide you and make it easy for your friend to leave prostitution.
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Abu Sukkar
05-15-2009, 10:09 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by witness
:sl:

www.sakinah.org ...website for islamic counselling in the uk.

:w:
i belive they charge.
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جوري
05-15-2009, 11:26 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by aadil77
I don't get this, are you suggesting that they aren't at fault for turning to prostitution for income? is there honestly no other islamic alternative? Because this is seriously disgusting and saddening that some muslim women have to go soo low to support themeselves and their children
SubhanAllah
Am I suggesting that they aren't at fault? are you asking me?
No, I don't approve of prostitution and I do think they are greatly at fault, I am also faulting the ummah along with them for having them in this place to begin with.

As for other Islamic alternatives.. I really don't know.. have we as an ummah provided them with Islamic alternatives? Do we have charitable houses for women who come from war torn countries, those who are widowed or orphaned? If we do this would defintely be the time to make mention of their names!

I believe those are all things to consider when pushing so hard for secular laws, allowing kaffirs to ravage our countries while trying to negotiate with them peacefully, and I also fault the upbringing that has subjugated some women that they have positively no skills save to use their wiles on low lives!

:w:
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Cabdullahi
05-15-2009, 11:39 PM
The male is the provider,i blame ourselves because if we provided, the ladies wouldn't resort to satanic ways to earn money, we should have donated money through different charities for the welfare of women who are poor and are damaged by war

If each male provides a small sum of money from his earnings then prostitution in poor countries wouldn't exist

no point in discussing who's fault it is, no point in having a fray
When our sisters in Iraq needed us the most, we simply didn't pay
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FatimaAsSideqah
05-15-2009, 11:49 PM
:sl:

Money is the root of all problems.. no women wants to be prostitute, sell their body and lay with daily "New Man".. every women want to feel love, want to live in home, want to make home but sometimes time brings the changes suddenly which is not thinking any women..

There are many poor peoples in this world struggling and fighting with poverty by legal way rather than give up and losing their faith and honor.
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