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HopeFul
05-16-2009, 07:41 AM
Assalamoalaiakum,
I have a similar dilemma about covering, Alhamdolillah I wear a jilbab and a hijab when I am in europe, but I don't cover my face, as in a niqaab, which really gives me guilt every day but it just gets in the way too much, I have to do many things myself and go out more often here as compared to the middle east, where I am safe and can do ANYTHING within a niqaab.
Can someone tell me if I am wrong to take off the niqaab while I am in europe? And any suggestions to deal with the obstructions, e.g people taking me non serious, it is bad as it is, I go to garderies to drop my kids while we shop for an hour, most of the french people push infront of me cos the attendant asks them to come foward, I nearly had a bad argument last week with them, similarly at the park, most people just stare at me instead of talking to me, if I invite one of my sons callsmates to come to my home, they dont, it is like we're very lonely as it is.. People are pushed back from my ... appearance. I thought I could make friends with arab women but then I dont speak arabic either :(
Some of the jewish people living here hate to look at me, would you believe they just dont look, Alhamdolilah i wear a nice jilbab but I always wear black loose clothing, with a black hijab.. my neighbour was really good in the beginning then she tried to persuade me to stop using the jilbab but i didnt listen.. and now she doesnt talk to me, even my husband doesnt like it!!!

Am I sinning not to wear niqaab or should I not care about people and just go ahead?

JazakAllah
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'Abd-al Latif
05-16-2009, 11:43 AM
:salamext:

If you are convinced that it is fard to wear niqab then you must observe it.

Do not pay heed to what people say.
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S_87
05-16-2009, 11:54 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by HopeFul
Assalamoalaiakum,


Am I sinning not to wear niqaab or should I not care about people and just go ahead?

JazakAllah
cant comment on the sinning part, but yes u should not care about what people say and jsut go ahead. Do you think people like that you wear the jilbab and hijab? no they dont like that either. Always expect comments and inshaAllah you will be rewarded for ur patience, because you are wearing the niqab for Allah and He sees your struggle and determination in wearing it to please Him. :)
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HopeFul
05-16-2009, 12:10 PM
JazakAllah everyone,

I know that it is fard, I am insuch peace when taking it, women seprate, men seperate, and my mind is at ease, i dont have to have parties at home, dont have to mix with men at all, and even though I still do that, going out is.. welll, not good for me without niqaab but here I lack the courage :(

InshaAllah i will try and take it up again.. Pray for me please
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ahmed_indian
05-16-2009, 05:14 PM
may Allah give you the strength of faith so that u can walk with niqaab on the streets of US, europe.

Ameen
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glo
05-16-2009, 05:35 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by 'Abd-al Latif
:salamext:

If you are convinced that it is fard to wear niqab then you must observe it.
Is it a question of personal conviction?
Reply

'Abd-al Latif
05-16-2009, 08:10 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by HopeFul
JazakAllah everyone,

I know that it is fard, I am insuch peace when taking it, women seprate, men seperate, and my mind is at ease, i dont have to have parties at home, dont have to mix with men at all, and even though I still do that, going out is.. welll, not good for me without niqaab but here I lack the courage :(

InshaAllah i will try and take it up again.. Pray for me please
Allah says in al-Qur'an that whoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him then Allah will make a way out from him from where he wouldn't expect.

Many women in the west wear niqab. I urge you to keep it on and do not fear anyone.
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ragdollcat1982
05-17-2009, 02:00 PM
If you feel convicted to wear it than by all means sister that is what you should and need to do. Just like I feel convicted to wear the hijab, especially as a married Christian woman. I do not understand why Jewish and Christian women do not think that they are mandated to cover their hair especially when they are praying. We worship the same God and his standards of modesty are the same for all women. Amen.
Reply

HopeFul
05-17-2009, 02:02 PM
JazakAllah everyone for your support, ragdollcat , hijab ismeant to be for the head and niqaab for the face..
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ragdollcat1982
05-17-2009, 02:08 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by HopeFul
JazakAllah everyone for your support, ragdollcat , hijab ismeant to be for the head and niqaab for the face..


Yes I know the niqab is for the face and depending on what school of Islam it will be either said it is mandatory or optional. I have read both view points and while hijab is mandatory I tend to agree that niqab is optional. If a believing woman feels compelled to wear it because it will bring her closer to God than she should do just that, but if she does not she wont incur a penalty for it. I know there are several who will disagree with that view point. I however believe from just what the Bible says that covering hair (hijab) and modest dress are mandated for Christians as well, especially while praying. Under the Mosiac law it is required to cover ones hair if ones is a woman, but sadly most do not practice it.
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abscedere
05-17-2009, 03:38 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by ragdollcat1982
Just like I feel convicted to wear the hijab, especially as a married Christian woman. I do not understand why Jewish and Christian women do not think that they are mandated to cover their hair especially when they are praying. We worship the same God and his standards of modesty are the same for all women. Amen.
Hi, ragdollcat1982

That you are a Christian, yet feel compelled to wear hijab, is interesting. You might be surprised by the numbers of Christian women who do cover their heads, to pray. In the privacy of my home, I do so. I'll bet there are quite a few others who do so, as well. Catholic women (no, I'm an Episcopalian) often wear "chapel veils" in church. I think this is more prevalent in Europe than in the US.

I agree that the sister (HopeFul) who feels she should wear niqab, should do so. If the instinct is that strong, then it could well be what the Creator wants of her. It's not for any human being to gainsay God, after all.

Of course you needn't answer, but again--I'm curious: Do you cover your head, in public? What sorts of reactions do you get, if you do?

Slightly OT to anyone who can answer: I'm new to this forum. Is this a segregated forum (women only)?
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S_87
05-17-2009, 03:41 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by abscedere
Hi, ragdollcat1982



Slightly OT to anyone who can answer: I'm new to this forum. Is this a segregated forum (women only)?
Hi and welcome :)

No it isnt :) though there is a womens only section
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abscedere
05-17-2009, 03:41 PM
To all: Please disregard my last question about this being a women-only thread. I double checked myself, and answered my own question
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abscedere
05-17-2009, 03:42 PM
Thanks, amani!
Reply

alcurad
05-17-2009, 04:15 PM
you don't need to wear a face cover/niqaab, it's not mandatory/fard/wajib.
you don't need to wear the color black either, but you know that already :)
Reply

glo
05-17-2009, 04:22 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by abscedere

Slightly OT to anyone who can answer: I'm new to this forum. Is this a segregated forum (women only)?
Welcome to LI, abscedere :welcome:

I know you have already answered your own question, but as well as a Sister's Section which is accessible to Muslim women only, there also is a Mixed Female section which is accessible to all female posters (although you need a certain amount of posts to qualify - I forget how many ...)

We are thin on the ground on non-Muslim women there, and things have been very quiet.
We could do with some 'fresh blood' - so bear it in mind!

Peace :)
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abscedere
05-17-2009, 04:29 PM
Thanks, glo!

I doubt I have anything new to input--I have questions, but you've probably heard them all, before.
Reply

Ummu Sufyaan
05-18-2009, 08:59 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by HopeFul
Assalamoalaiakum,
:wasalamex

And any suggestions to deal with the obstructions, e.g people taking me non serious, it is bad as it is, I go to garderies to drop my kids while we shop for an hour, most of the french people push infront of me cos the attendant asks them to come foward, I nearly had a bad argument last week with them, similarly at the park, most people just stare at me instead of talking to me, if I invite one of my sons callsmates to come to my home, they dont, it is like we're very lonely as it is.. People are pushed back from my ... appearance. I thought I could make friends with arab women but then I dont speak arabic either :(
when things like that happen to me, i usually ignore them or i'll say something back, or glare at them or something and its just to tell them that yep im a muslimah, but you know what that doesn't give you the right to pester me for it so, your barking up the wrong tree :p :D
Some of the jewish people living here hate to look at me, would you believe they just dont look, Alhamdolilah i wear a nice jilbab but I always wear black loose clothing, with a black hijab.. my neighbour was really good in the beginning then she tried to persuade me to stop using the jilbab but i didnt listen.. and now she doesnt talk to me, even my husband doesnt like it!!!
all is cool, who cares what they think :p i've learnt in life that if no one cares for my feelings and how I may take their insults, etc, then why should i care for what they have to say? :)

you know ukhtee, the more hijaabis/jilaabis out there, the more people will get used to us and know that we -as muslims- arent trouble makers (like some may think). so if we do what we need/want to do without making trouble,then they will see that we are really peaceful people innit :) also you set an example for those who wish to observe the hijaab/niqaab cos sisters back out if they dont see others observing it as well. :thumbs_up

Am I sinning not to wear niqaab or should I not care about people and just go ahead?
sis, if you have a genuine desire to wear the niqaab, then go ahead and wear it...all the best :)
Reply

HopeFul
05-18-2009, 09:16 AM
JazakAllah everyone for your advice, May Allah keep you on the straight path, ameen :)

And I have ordered myself so e new jilbabs and nikaabs hehehe, let's see how it goes :)
Reply

abscedere
05-18-2009, 02:25 PM
I recently took a small workshop course in vocals. The instructor noted that, by doing something yourself, you are "giving permission" to others to do the same thing. So, I suppose those sisters with the courage to dress modestly, really do offer encouragement to other sisters, as Umm ul-Shaheed notes.

That said, this forum and others like it might be the only place I will be likely to speak to Muslimahs who don hijab, niqab, or burqa (please excuse any misspellings). Why? Because as a non-Muslim, I am intimidated by Muslimahs in Islamic dress. This is, of course, no fault of anyone but myself. It's a case of timidity on my part.

These sisters appear to be so very different (I live in the US, by the way) from myself, that I don't think my attempts to make small talk, let alone discuss anything serious, would be appreciated. I avoid looking at modest Muslimahs, not because I find them repugnant, but because it's impolite to stare at other people. I try not to be impolite.

The grand irony in this is that, on the same road that I live on, there is a new mosque, and also the older mosque. I guess the old building is used for men's meetings, now. Anyway, there are Muslimahs in my neighborhood. Mostly, I see them out shopping, when I'm doing the same.

I don't know if it's just me, or if I'm a bizarre exception to the rule, but to me a hijab is like a sign telling me, as a non-Muslim, to back off and mind my own business.
Reply

S_87
05-18-2009, 03:01 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by abscedere
I recently took a small workshop course in vocals. The instructor noted that, by doing something yourself, you are "giving permission" to others to do the same thing. So, I suppose those sisters with the courage to dress modestly, really do offer encouragement to other sisters, as Umm ul-Shaheed notes.

That said, this forum and others like it might be the only place I will be likely to speak to Muslimahs who don hijab, niqab, or burqa (please excuse any misspellings). Why? Because as a non-Muslim, I am intimidated by Muslimahs in Islamic dress. This is, of course, no fault of anyone but myself. It's a case of timidity on my part.

These sisters appear to be so very different (I live in the US, by the way) from myself, that I don't think my attempts to make small talk, let alone discuss anything serious, would be appreciated. I avoid looking at modest Muslimahs, not because I find them repugnant, but because it's impolite to stare at other people. I try not to be impolite.

The grand irony in this is that, on the same road that I live on, there is a new mosque, and also the older mosque. I guess the old building is used for men's meetings, now. Anyway, there are Muslimahs in my neighborhood. Mostly, I see them out shopping, when I'm doing the same.

I don't know if it's just me, or if I'm a bizarre exception to the rule, but to me a hijab is like a sign telling me, as a non-Muslim, to back off and mind my own business.
No the niqab is not at all that. many times i myself have caught people staring at me and said hello only to have them continue staring, if they had asked me something i would be more than happy to explain why im wearing what i wear etc.
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ragdollcat1982
05-18-2009, 11:19 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by abscedere
Hi, ragdollcat1982



I

Of course you needn't answer, but again--I'm curious: Do you cover your head, in public? What sorts of reactions do you get, if you do?

?

I grew up in a very strict Irish Catholic home raised by my aunt and uncle. I always had to cover my hair for Mass. I am not longer a practicing Catholic, at this point rarely do I attend church as most have become social clubs instead of places of worship. At least in the area I live in. I do sometimes cover my head in public, not all of the time as I have slacked off and need to get back to covering. I have mixed reactions alot of negative especially from Fundamentalist Christians and my own family. Because they do not understand and they do not want to learn why I feel compelled. Even when I quote scripture to justify it, they do not want to listen. My paternal aunt told me that she did not want to see me out in that garb as I am too "pretty". I guess if I were a troll it would be ok:? Others are just purely curious and have asked if they could feel the material of my scarf or abaya. Men of course I tell no, women I dont mind and it is mostly women that are curious and give me compliments on it. Others just stare at me. I am discenring whether or not to embrace Islam and I figure it is best to get into the covering now and get used to it rather than be overwhelmed if I convert. If one looks at pictures of the Virgin Mary or even some modern Orthodox Christian woman you will see that they are covered in an almost "Islamic" like manner.If hijab is good enough for the mother of Jesus (pbuh) than it is good enough for me.
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ragdollcat1982
05-18-2009, 11:21 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by HopeFul
JazakAllah everyone for your advice, May Allah keep you on the straight path, ameen :)

And I have ordered myself so e new jilbabs and nikaabs hehehe, let's see how it goes :)

Did you order them online? Where is the best place online to order affordable clothing. I would love to order from shukr but they are so expenisve.
Reply

HopeFul
05-19-2009, 06:26 AM
Assalamoalaikum,

Hmm to be Honest, I normally get it from well Khunji, fayslia or Abu haliqa in dubai and kuwait ( comparitively reasonable ones) this is the first time I ordered it online as the summer here is warm and my other abayas feel very hot.. I got three airy ones ( all black ofcourse:P) from

aab.co.uk

since that is the closest to me, because I live in switzerland. I got Niqaabs ordered by my mum in law, because I couldnt find them in the shop, she said she knows a local shop in Uk ( where they live) and she can get me some..

having said that for now I make do wiht my old niqaab and still wear my old abayas.

the aab shop is a bit trendy, make sure if someone were ordering to get a size or so up, I ordered a large size for my petite self , the whole point is to cover oneself not to indulge in Fashion. Also it is best to get abayas etc with minimal designs and least attractive..

I am not sure what is reasonable for you, I found the shop quite reasonale, the delivery was cheap though, only 5.99 quids, normally I pay huge amounts of delivery for books etc when I order from uk!!!

Anyway if it does helps you ( in case you live in europe) that would be
so nice!!

May Allah guide you to the right path and help you, ameen.
PS
i just saw ragdoll that youa re in USA, hmm there must be THOUSANDS of abaya shops there!!! try and google "online abaya shops in US", thats how I found the aab store, then you can choose one fitting your needs.

I have always worn thick material, and I also wear my normal home clothes underneath them, This is the first time the material will be a bit thinner and it is a test order, will tell you guys how it went, I may not reccomend it after all :D:D:D

About the Niqaab, I also have to initiate conversations with people myself. One thing with Abaya is that people respect me more I think, they dont give me the insulting stares ( apart from jews..) A few times in winter I went out because of the very bad cold in my normal clothes topped with a very warm ankle length over coat and a headscarf, when I did that no one even said Bon jour to me !!! so after that I only wear the abaya, because for some odd reason people are respectful, men are respectful and even though people wont speak to me, I feel so much safer wearing it..

Take care, and JazakAllah.
Reply

ragdollcat1982
05-19-2009, 02:18 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by HopeFul
Assalamoalaikum,






A
i just saw ragdoll that youa re in USA, hmm there must be THOUSANDS of abaya shops there!!! try and google "online abaya shops in US", thats how I found the aab store, then you can choose one fitting your needs.

I have always worn thick material, and I also wear my normal home clothes underneath them, This is the first time the material will be a bit thinner and it is a test order, will tell you guys how it went, I may not reccomend it after all :D:D:D


Take care, and JazakAllah.

I live in a conservative Protestant region and my only choice is to buy online. I have 4 abayas that were given to me by a sister that no longer wore them. Two are solid color black and plum. I have a hooded one that is black and pin strip, I wear this one the most. I have a beautiful royal blue one that is embrodiered with a matching hijab. I wear this one as a dress over a long sleevless dress I have, this is my warmer weather one. Under the others I usually just wear jeans and shirt. My husband is disabled and our income is limited, if it was not for the genorisity of this sister I would have none. Some can cost a $100 and up ! I like black as it is slimming on me, but is black the only permissable color? I dont really like flashy bright colors, but I do like earth tones like various shaded of brown, hunter green etc.
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abscedere
05-19-2009, 02:22 PM
Thanks for your answer, Ragdollcat1982 :-)

A few years ago, I experimented with hijab. I worked with two male "superiors" who were making my work life intolerable. It wasn't sexual harassment, just general harassment. The cover worked. They backed off. I think it was just the sudden change, that did it, not the scarf itself. Ogres are slow to adapt, I guess.

I found, meanwhile, that I really liked the khimar (sp?). Since, and even before I began wearing the head covering, I wondered what a Muslimah's reaction to that would be. I asked in some other forum, at the time, but never got an answer. I don't wish to fake anything, or to offend Muslims. But I really do like the small privacy of keeping my hair to myself--it's very strange, and I can't explain it. It's like a layer between myself and the rest of the world.

I should probably start another thread. I didn't mean to co-opt HopeFul's questions about the niqaab.
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S_87
05-19-2009, 02:28 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by abscedere
Thanks for your answer, Ragdollcat1982 :-)


I found, meanwhile, that I really liked the khimar (sp?). Since, and even before I began wearing the head covering, I wondered what a Muslimah's reaction to that would be. I asked in some other forum, at the time, but never got an answer. I don't wish to fake anything, or to offend Muslims. But I really do like the small privacy of keeping my hair to myself--it's very strange, and I can't explain it. It's like a layer between myself and the rest of the world.

.
Indeed covering and being modest is a large part of christianity and Mary/Maryam May Allah be pleased with her was an extremely modect woman who covered. So as a muslima my reaction would be- wow a christian in the west covering :O :D since it is something thats generally limited to nuns. Though if i saw you in the street in a khimar id automatically assume you to be muslim :p

ragdollcat, you want an abaya?
Reply

abscedere
05-19-2009, 02:31 PM
I live in Central Florida, and I've never seen an Islamic apparel shop. What I do see is a large number of sisters in the fabric shops. I believe they make many of their own abayas and jilbabs.

The best prices I've seen online for just hijabs is: HijabGirl. Many of them are just gorgeous. Some are beautifully simple. Others are a bit flashy, even for my American taste.
Reply

abscedere
05-19-2009, 02:34 PM
Thanks, amani!

The thing is, if you found out that the woman under the hijab was not a Muslimah, wouldn't you be a bit annoyed?
Reply

S_87
05-19-2009, 02:40 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by abscedere
Thanks, amani!

The thing is, if you found out that the woman under the hijab was not a Muslimah, wouldn't you be a bit annoyed?
Not at all :? :blind: id think its great
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Donia
05-19-2009, 02:46 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by ragdollcat1982
Did you order them online? Where is the best place online to order affordable clothing. I would love to order from shukr but they are so expenisve.
Salaam Ragdoll :)

I order online sometimes and there are a couple of good websites that are decently priced in my opinion. I'm not sure what your price range is.

Here are some nice simple jilbabs that are not to expensive (compared to other prices I have seen.)
http://store.al-mujalbaba.com/index.html

I just like this site.. :statisfie
http://www.al-muminat.com/


There are more... One I'm trying to find in particular that I can't at the moment..
I'll post again if I do.
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Donia
05-19-2009, 02:58 PM
Here it is.. Pretty good prices if you can find what you're looking for.

http://www.eastessence.com/catalog/81.aspx
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HopeFul
05-19-2009, 05:16 PM
JazakAllah for the links, I don't knwo anything about abaya shops in usa, normally i prefer something that cannot be mistaken for a dress, very loose and infat saudi style is best for me, its put over the head and shoulders, so you cant make the figure at all..

if it iscolourful, slim fitting, and you know embroidered, it may not serve its purpose infact it would seem even attractive, and do you need an abaya? I could send you one InshaAllah..
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