So Confused!

[AnonymousPoster]

:sl:
Ok the thing is I haven't nessasarly been brought up in a proper islamic way. Just that 'modern islam', working mum's and dad's. Yeah pray namaaz fast read quran. But I haven't ever in my childhood ever sat down and thought deeply about islam, and dug deep. I think now when I look back I concidered my self as a muslim only by name. I didn't understand the deep message. I didn't feel reget, anger, and guilt when I committed everyday sins.

Alhamdullah Allah has guided me, and I don't think my Imaan has ever been higher. It's just I feel this emptiness inside of me, sort of like im unworthy. I read stories about the comapanians of the Prophet Saw, and they were just heroic. I feel ashamed of myself for compalianing over every little thing that happens to be. I have been truly blessed my whole life. I consider myself extreamly lucky.

I just can't seem to get over this feeling. I feel like my education is a waste of my time. I feel like I should be doing more to please Allah. I feel like my times running out, even though im still young. I want to raise my self to do better. I just don't know what or how to do that?.....and how can I make myself a better muslim.

Does anybody else feel this way.?:-[

I really want to do an Aalima course, but the thing is, my family is culturised and it's just not something that people would expect from me. It would be like a kind of shock for them. I know you should'nt care about what people think if you're pleaseing Allah. But its my close family as well and i don't know how they're gunna take it all in.

Please help!
Jazakallah
:w:

[S_87]

:sl:

whatever you study should not be an obstruction in you betterin gyourself, rather you should see it as something that you could do with an aim to help the ummah and earn the pleasure of Your Lord. Whilst studying it also doesnt mean you cant study the Deen. You dont have to sign up for an official 'alimah' course but attend halaqahs and classes and stuff like that.
Dont neglect earthly duties but rather please and remember Allah in all actions-whether through studies/work/times of pain and happiness-in everything.

[Sister_22013]

Sister, I'm in exactly the same position, I know exactly how you feel.
After, when my eman started to rise significantly, my motivation for school dropped A LOT, because at the end of the day, dunya knowledge isn't of much benefit to our akhira.

But at the same time, school is the only thing that stresses me and causes me to turn to Allah for help which in turn increases my eman and makes me try to be a better Muslim. Plus, dunya knowledge shows the miracles of Allah (well depends on which subject like sciences)

You have to be patient, and do more to please Allah by perhaps doing more dhikr, or getting into the habit of perfoming the various sunnahs etc.

Think of obtaining your education as a test, that's what I think of it as.

[AnonymousPoster]

:sl:
Jazakallah for the replies.
I just kinda feel like my education isn't gunna help the ummah it's just gunna help myself get more and more connected to this dunya. and that's what I try to avoid at all costs. I want to do something that's going to benifit me for the dunya.

:w:

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[AnonymousPoster]

edit -Akhira

[ahmed_indian]

salaam alaikum,

i also feel the same way. i am studying and working but i think, i need to do something more to earn Allah's pleasure and help Islam and muslims.

it seems spending hours and years for degree is useless.

may Allah help us all

[AnonymousPoster]

:sl:
I feel a little releive knowing im not the only one who feels this way.
Insha'Allah helps us become better muslim.
I just see no point in me wasting nearly 4 years on my life working for A-Levels and a Degree just to get a well paid job. And also it's the pressure of culture that dosen't help at all. I wouldn't even know how to begin to tell my parents how useless I think all of this education is. Im a girl so you'd think it would be easier for me to be let off the hook and just stay at home. But beacause of culture people just EXPECT you to work. including women. I wouldn't mind working. But I just don't see the point of me chasing after a good job...(having all this eduction)

and..plus it would seem such a waste to have all this education. for me to spend time and effort for it just to turn round and say I wanna stay at home..(Or another alternate.)..I kinda want to speak out before it gets to that stage.
:w:

[ahmed_indian]

:sl:
I feel a little releive knowing im not the only one who feels this way.
Insha'Allah helps us become better muslim.
I just see no point in me wasting nearly 4 years on my life working for A-Levels and a Degree just to get a well paid job. And also it's the pressure of culture that dosen't help at all. I wouldn't even know how to begin to tell my parents how useless I think all of this education is. Im a girl so you'd think it would be easier for me to be let off the hook and just stay at home. But beacause of culture people just EXPECT you to work. including women. I wouldn't mind working. But I just don't see the point of me chasing after a good job...(having all this eduction)

and..plus it would seem such a waste to have all this education. for me to spend time and effort for it just to turn round and say I wanna stay at home..(Or another alternate.)..I kinda want to speak out before it gets to that stage.
:w:

:sl:,

masha'allah. may Allah help you sister. i thought you was a brother.

it also irritates me when ppl expect from women to work like men.has not women lived @ home since ages, so wht has happened now?

before, the life seemed so peaceful. husband working outside, wife taking care of home and children. with chit-chat with her friends/relatives.

yes, talk to your parents. just pray to Allah to give that opportunity, insha'allah it'll come to you soon.

and wht about getting married? you need not work and can get time for dawah and charity works.

[AnonymousPoster]

:sl:
I don't think marriage is an option for me right now, Im still very young. Insha'Allah in a few years to come. I really hope Allah gives me a way out of this. I am going to talk to my parents about it.
At this moment in time I detest culture. It just seems to come in the way of everything, and people tend to forget religion a lot. People are so stubbon in their old ways and so engossed with this life. It's really fustrating at times.
Jazakallah for repling brother. May Allah reward you.
:w:

[glo]

:sl:
I feel a little releive knowing im not the only one who feels this way.
Insha'Allah helps us become better muslim.
I just see no point in me wasting nearly 4 years on my life working for A-Levels and a Degree just to get a well paid job. And also it's the pressure of culture that dosen't help at all. I wouldn't even know how to begin to tell my parents how useless I think all of this education is. Im a girl so you'd think it would be easier for me to be let off the hook and just stay at home. But beacause of culture people just EXPECT you to work. including women. I wouldn't mind working. But I just don't see the point of me chasing after a good job...(having all this eduction)

and..plus it would seem such a waste to have all this education. for me to spend time and effort for it just to turn round and say I wanna stay at home..(Or another alternate.)..I kinda want to speak out before it gets to that stage.
:w:

Do you really think that education is useless? I know many Muslims who take great pride in gaining knowledge about science, languages and the world we live in.
Are you sure that you are not simply fed up with school and/or wanting to rebel against your parents and/or 'the system'?

I gained a school education and a professional qualification. When I had my children I opted to stay at home too. I love being a mother, wife and homemaker much more than being a working woman!

But then my husband had to give up his job for health reasons, and I was very glad to be blessed with the qualification and ability to become the main breadwinner and support my family financially.

There are times when I resent having to work, but I am glad that I had that option! Education and the ability to work (even if you never choose to do so) are a blessing, not a burden.

I hope God grants you a life full of blessings, and you are able to use your gifts and ability to the full! :)

Peace

[AnonymousPoster]

:sl:
You make some good points there glo.^
I think now im even more confused...
I don't think Im rebelling against the system just the time duration.
I think im just going through a phase where i just can't make up my mind what do to.
Insha'Allah i'll make the right choice
:w:

[glo]

^
If you can't make up your mind what to do, then I suggest you just continue with what you are doing for now. No need to react impulsively!

Pray and wait (patiently!) for God to show you the way. He may open doors and give you opportunities which you hadn't considered ... :)
Just put your trust in God!

Salaam

[AnonymousPoster]

:sl:
Thanks for all the help.
It really helped
:)
Peace
:w:

[AnonymousPoster]

There are times when I resent having to work, but I am glad that I had that option! Education and the ability to work (even if you never choose to do so) are a blessing, not a burden.

I hope God grants you a life full of blessings, and you are able to use your gifts and ability to the full

....^^this does sum it up beautifully.

Keep your intention correct...(after all even doing an alimah course with the wrong intention is not a good place to be or if you do not act upon the knowledge attained).

Having gone through what you are going through now...i really hope you do get yourself a degree while you are are not so tied down...it will be useful I.A.when ever you come to the realisation of how you want to help the ummah or if Allah forbid you face any financial difficulty...yes you must make dua in tough times but this does not negate the need to take practical steps also and this is where the education can help make it easier.

I am at that stage in my life where i wished i had done so when i had the oppurtunity...but Allah knows best. I am looking to do a degree now because there is so much need out there (teachers /health practitioners/social workers/therapists and many more where a practising muslim female can make a world of difference to her sisters)
And so i feel i am wasting my time as i dont do anything other than look after my family and engage in a lot of useless social cultural get togethers-as in a lot of asian cultures food is a big issue ...daily cooking of luxuious unhealthy meals when a wholesome simple one will do is not taking care nor a part of islam neither is keeping a home in sterile conditions furnished in the latest trends. Simplicity allows one to focus on real needs.

I will have to fit the degree and my aspirations around my family and it is v.hard to do that...but to be useful to the ummah when one has the oppurtunity to do so is something that will I.A. keep driving me.
I want to be able to volunteer in certain areas. To do this to the best of my abilities i will need to educate myself and have enough earnings to support this goal.

Our iman is not so strong like that of our pious predecessors...we must accept this fact..we are weaker than them and have more needs. As long as you avoid haram in what you do (eg music/dance studies) you will not go wrong I.A.
Be sure to keep your intentions correct and think of your education as tools to help put you in a better position to keep your faith strong...
Try to know yourself and what you are good at and enjoy ...then see if theres any way you can use that to help others...Focus on that for progressing your 'career'.... career here is not meant in the ususal sense of giving you the most money or power but how you can best help others (whilst keeping yourself stress free to carry out your necessary duties) to please your Creator...therefore it will be a lifelong journey not just till retirement!
This does not mean you can not aquire Islamic knowledge at the same time..there are plenty of books, halaqahs and websites that can help you with this but keep it a little at a time so you can act upon it and do justice to your education.

All the best.

[AnonymousPoster]

:sl:
Thanks for the reply. I think your right. Mabye I was just rushing myself too much. I gotta start off with the samll steps forst. It just kinda saddens me to know that we are SO weak and that we DO have so many needs. I want to lead a simple life (without all the culture). I wanna be strong you know. But Insha'Allah small steps first.

Thank you everybody for all the replies.:smile:
:w: