Marriage Relations with 'Children'?
In Islam, a marriage contract can be agreed by parents for their children. So two parents may make a marriage contract that their children will be each others partners when they are mature for the rights of marriage. Why is this type of marriage contract usually done? In most cases it is done to cement relations between two families, or to agree to marriage early so they have an opportunity for marriage with a certain family before someone else proposes. This was done by Kings in the past to secure relations between two kingdoms.
Even though this is recognised in Islam, when the children become mature - they have the choice of annulling/cancelling the marriage if they wish to do so. This then refutes the concept of forcing them into marriage if they don't wish to do so.
Bukhari - Volume 5, Book 58, Number 236: Narrated Hisham's father:
Khadija died three years before the Prophet departed to Medina. He stayed there for two years or so and then
he married 'Aisha when she was a girl of six years of age, and he consumed that marriage when she was nine years old.
This hadith proves the above to be the case, where the marriage contract may take place at an earlier age and the consumation may take place when the person is mature for it.
His marriage to Aisha was one of the greatest blessings upon this Ummah because due to her, we learned so much about the life of the Messenger. She is the 4th highest narrator of Ahadith. She had the mind of a scholor and due to this marriage we know the much about the life of the Messenger at home. And this was a divinely inspired Marriage.
Intimate Relations
The concept of maturity (
balaghah) is different to how people percieve it today.
People mature at different levels, depending on where they live, and also their biological makeup.
In countries near the equator, girls mature into women a few years quicker than girls in colder nations. I.e. a girl may have physically developed into a woman by the age of 10 in the middle east, whereas this may occur at 13 for a young woman in Europe.
HerWord.com says:
There was a study conducted showing that girls who live in countries close to the equator started their menstruation earlier.
(HerWord.com,
http://www.herword.com/healthdesk/ot...s10.28.03.html)
The book Women and Health Psychology says:
Many factors have been reported to
affect age at menarche and/or the regularity of
menstruation—[such as]
climate, altitude,
race, height, weight, hereditary, stress/psychological factors,
light, and nutrition.
(Women and Health Psychology,
Women and Health Psychology ... - Google Book Search)
This phenomenon is not limited to menarche [menstruation periods], but also applies to the whole of puberty. In the book
Women: An Historical, Gynecological, and Anthropological Compendium, we read:
The average temperature of the country or province is considered the chief factor here, not only with regard to menstruation but as regards the whole of sexual development at puberty.
(Herman H. Ploss, Max Bartels and Paul Bartels; Woman: An Historical,
Gynecological, and Anthropological Compendium, Volume I, Lord & Bransby,
1988, p.563;
Woman. An historical, gynaecological and anthropological compendium. Volume 3 only by PLOSS, Herman Heinrich, BARTELS, Max & BARTELS, Paul Find or Buy Book Now!)
In Islam, for a girl to have menstruation is not enough, but she should be mature physically, mentally and emotionally for marriage.
Mufti Maulana Husain Kadodia explained:
In reality, puberty has two usages. The first usage is with regards to physical development, whereas the second usage is with regards to menses.
For (sexual) intercourse, developmental puberty (balagha) is a precondition.* Whereas for other rulings—such as being ordered to pray—the menses usage applies.
(Maulana Mufti Husain Kadodia,
Ask Imam.com with Mufti Ebrahim Desai)
*The puberty being referred to is the puberty of physical growth - so that a person is capable for sexual relations - without any harm coming to them.
This statement of the scholar - which is based on Islamic teachings - Husain Kadodia proves three points;
1) A girl who has had her menses but has not matured in her body physically should not have sexual relations, if she was to have a marriage contract. This is because she could be harmed in the process, since her body has not physically matured. [Some girls do have periods early, but their body has not matured for any form of sexual activity - so she is not permitted to have such relations due to the harm caused to her in the process*.]
*This is based on the hadith of the Prophet;
It was related on the authority of Abu Sa'id Sa'd bin Malik bin Sinan al-Khudri,
radiyallahu 'anhu, that the Messenger of Allah,
sallallahu 'alayhi
, said:
لا ضرر ولا ضر
"There is to be no harming, nor reciprocating of harm." (Musnad Ahmad, authenticated by Al-Albânî)
"There should be neither harming nor reciprocating harm."
[A excellent
hadith which Ibn Majah, Al-Daraqutni and others related as of sound
isnad, but which Malik related in his Muwatta' as of broken
isnad, from 'Amr bin Yahya, from his father, from the Prophet,
sallallahu 'alayhi
, but dropping (the name of) Abu Sa'id. This
hadith has lines of transmission which strengthen one another (so that it may be regarded as of sound
isnad).]
more explanation;
http://fortyhadith.iiu.edu.my/hadith32.htm
2) A young woman who has matured in every single way, but has not had her menses - then she is permitted to have sexual relations with her husband when she has had a valid marriage contract completed. This is because she will not be harmed through such relations since her body and mind has matured for it. [This may occur in countries like Antarctica where women at the age of 20 may have matured in every way except they have not had their periods due to the climate conditions.]
3) Periods signify that a girl has the responsibilities in the religion such as prayer, fasting, etc. Just like boys with their first wet dreams.
Mental & Emotional Maturity
Girls and boys also reach
mental maturity quicker in close climate nations because they are brought up this way by their culture and upbringing. This usually makes them mature more emotionally too. Think about it; if the norms in a culture are to marry early, then the upbringing by the parents will ensure that the child is brought up to mature and prepare for marriage at an earlier age.
If someone can handle the it well, then what's the problem?
In Islam, if someone is capable of being married and is mature in a way to handle its responsibilities, it is permitted in Islam for that person to get married, male or female. But if there will be any harm that could come to them through such a marriage, then the marriage should not go ahead, and may be annulled by the Islamic judge if there is harm in it.
Marriage may be done earlier in Muslim nations because having any intimate relations outside of marriage is not permitted. Instead, it is to be done through a secure and safe relationship of marriage. This is why marriage is encouraged, because if a person is capable of having a relationship with someone else, then why not through a trustworthy relationship which both parties agree to?
The marriage of Aisha
There is a very strong proof we can use to show that Aisha (peace be upon her) had reached physical maturity before she moved into the Prophet’s house, and this is Aisha’s own statement in which she said:
When the girl reaches nine years of age, she is a woman.
(Sunan al-Tirmidhi, Kitab al-Nikah)
This statement of Aisha shows that it was the norms in Arabia for a girl to mature on to become a young woman, i.e. become physically mature for marriage and its rights at the age of 9.
Further, Aisha describes herself at the age of nine;
Imam Ibn kathir (May Allah have mercy on him) narrates a hadith in his Al-Bidayah wa-Nihayah:
"Imam Bukhari (May Allah have mercy on him) narrates another hadith which he heard from Farwa bin abi al-Mughria who heard from 'Ali bin Masher who heard from Hisham bin 'Urawh who heard from his father who reports from
'Aisha (May Allah be pleased with her), who
said: 'When the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) was betrowth to me, I was six years old. Later,
when we migrated from Makkah to Medina and stayed at bin harith bin khdhrj's place, I had grown up. My hair had got longer and
I had physically matured; however, I still used to play with other girls...
I was nine years old at that time."
Source Page 210-211