A woman 10 years older than me

[aworkinprogress]

I met this girl a few months ago. I can see that she is a good muslim.
The only thing is she is 10 years older than me... im 27. I am quite hopeful towards our future together. What does Islam says about a man marrying a much older women.

As a man I know that it is my responsibility to lead the family.
Would it work with someone who is far older than me?.. would she recognize me as the head of the family? Sisters out there; perhaps you can share with me you opinion. Have not yet discuss this with her but I think I should solve this problem before I go deeper into the relationship. It wont be right to abandon the relationship half way. I think I should at least resolve this issue before I move froward.

I know that the prophet did take Kadhijah who was far older than him to be his wife.

[Woodrow]

:sl:

Each woman is a unique creation. Age in terms of years should be a needless concern. In your case I would suggest you look at the relationship she has with her father and her brothers, that can be a strong indication of how her attitude towards a husband will become after marriage.

Forget about the age and years, see her as a person and place your concerns on her Eemam.

[convert]

Actually, Khadijah was only like 5 years older than the Prophet (saw). There are many ages narrated; the 40 years is the most spoken about but her actual age was likely 27-28.

At any rate, if she is of good character, good deen, and you both accept each other then go for it. These questions should be asked of her and not us. I see no reason why an older woman would feel different than a younger woman on some issues... she might want to have children much sooner though, thats about the only thing I can think of.

[Clover]

Age should matter little, it is a matter, unless, of course this is a opinoin, she is under 18.

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[Trumble]

Actually, Khadijah was only like 5 years older than the Prophet (saw). There are many ages narrated; the 40 years is the most spoken about but her actual age was likely 27-28.

That's interesting. I thought their birthdates were known historical facts (555 and 570 CE)? I'm wrong, obviously.

[crayon]

^It's news to me too Trumble, I've never heard of a difference in opinion in regards to Khadija's (peace be upon her) age..

[convert]

I first heard it during a seerah class I took with AbdulBary Yahya.

http://www.arabnews.com/?page=5&sect...category=Islam

Khadijah gave Muhammad (peace be upon him), her third husband, six children over a period of ten years. This makes clear that she was in the prime of her reproductive life. It is well known that this is between 18 and 35. While many women give birth after 40, it is extremely unlikely that a woman bears so many children after this age. When we look at other reports of Khadijah’s age, we find that she is stated to have been 25, 30, 35 and 45. The last should be discounted straightaway. Abdullah ibn Abbas, the Prophet’s cousin, who is considered to have been the most learned among the companions of the Prophet, states that she was 28 and not a day older.

[crayon]

^Interesting, jazak Allah khair for sharing!

[Sampharo]

If this is your first marriage, I would advise you not to. Marriage is about the joining of two lives together in love and compassion, but also about procreation and forming a family. How confident are you that a man of your age in his prime, will not desire plenty of children? Will not have for the next few decades a growing strength of desire that is now facing a dminishing brilliance of an aging wife? As for the prophet, the age of Khadija as the brother mentioned is not set at 40, and many say it is 28, however even if she was indeed 40, you are neither the prophet -pbuh- in his fortitude and good nature she's not Khadija with her grace, beauty and class that made most of the men in Quraish trying to be her husband.

3 to 5 years might not have been a problem. 10 is a bit much. Also for your peace of mind brother, a younger or matching age wife will (as you suspect) be much more accepting of your leadership, while a mature woman might be slightly frustrated at perhaps your relative inexperience in handling various aspects of your joined lives.

And God knows Best

[peaceandlove]

I think age is not matter , if you both understand each other well that will be the main thing.

[true believer]

salam, brother, the prophet (SAW) told us to go for deen and character....he didnt mention age. i think if she is a pious, good decent woman then her age is nothing more then a number. if u r comfortable with her age then her age doesnt matter. i think age shouldnt matter when gettin married, its about a person. HOWEVER age can hinder a relationship when it comes to children, sometimes its harder for a woman of age to bear a child then a woman younger. not impossible, if its meant to be, it will be. but their two sides to every arguement and u may want children or somethin, so u may want to consider this, no offence intended.

[Civilsed]

:sl:

Age is not an issue. If you see a future, go for it. My wife is 7 years older than me.:statisfie

[Faizal_Rakhangi]

Bro Sampharo's advise is of caution and rethinking, & I would recommend the same. Marriage with a older woman will definitely have its plus and minus side as in any marriage. Stability & Maturity will be + + for this kind of alliance.

What you should definitely do is pray Istikharah !!!

May help with the right decision and bless you with righteous offspring's. aameen

[7eighty6]

i don't think i would have an issue with this. Age is nothing but a number.
Look at her deen, personality and way she carries herself. If u r both about same maturity level then why not. but if u r completely different world then this could be a serious issue later.

[Muslim Woman]

:sl:

...What does Islam says about a man marrying a much older women. .

no maximum or minimum age gap is mentioned in Quran or hadith.

Offer Isthekhara salat before taking any important decision like getting married . May Allah bless your married life. Ameen.