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View Full Version : Help regarding a serious decision!



anonymous
05-26-2009, 07:55 PM
:sl:

Okk, before i explain what i am thinking about , let me give brief info.

I met this girl, long ago, about 2 years ago on an islamic website (not this). We've been really great friends, but we havent really talked to each other due to common reasons you all know lol. Like how it can lead to bad things thats why we just decided to stop, though it made me sad and her, but it was for the best though!

Its been much longer now and i have been separated from her for a long time. Recently i've been just thinking, that I probabbly might want to marry her :|.
I know it sounds baizzer thing to say, like you just met a person over net and u just decide to marry %_% :\. lol Is this normal?? :|, its not just that i miss her, its just idk, watever people call it, i guess thats what it is. i really like her and i know we havent talked in months or probably one year by now..almost.

So here are my questions in summary:

1.) I do want to marry her, but i keep telling myself that what if she doesn't feel the same? what if this is stupid, i mean its internet u met this person lol (were in same country just different places).

2.) We are BOTH from different ethncity! Shes palestine, and im pakistani :\. i knw she incidated like long ago, her family isnt racist or anything (like typical arabs) and mine isnt either! But still i am concerned..

3.) we ARE YOUNG! Well shes like 17 and im 19!! I knw i should wait, i dont really mind waiting awhile lol, but WE are really good practising muslims! i know u get that a lot yet people still commit haraam activities , but we havent! infact we have improved our deens!! But still, i fear that, what if someone else gets to her first?? :\.

Please help...i dont want to approach my mom and then be all confused cause for marriage or even engagement you have to be serious , responsible and mentally ready. But these 3 issues just are creating a conflict in me!

She and I didnt share any pics because it can lead to further temptation and stuff, she said it would be sent for say..something like this and i agreed that was long ago.

But i feel silly for doing this :\...i mean -_- its the internet lol, but at the same time i dont :\ and blah. im all over the place here. AND im just so shy :\, i havent really talked to any girls like in person or even gotten close to them! i never talked to them on phone..so i know i have to tell her this and i feel so weird about it, but i am confident about it! its just i feel shy, which is pathetic -_- of me!

i hope this helps :\. but shes really great thoguh, mashallah :|!! any help?? please ;(~!
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anonymous
05-26-2009, 08:37 PM
Pray istikahaaraa and see where you go from that. if you still feel positive about it then i say tell her about your feelings. i hope it goes well
*thumbs up*
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anonymous
05-26-2009, 08:47 PM
I don't think its necessary for ishtrika, is it? :\..wait do i do this before or afterwards of telling her?
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Sampharo
05-27-2009, 11:18 AM
The prophet told us to do Istikhara prayer if we were planning to buy slippers, you don't think it's needed in such a life changing decision?! :) So yes do the istikhara before you do anything.

Look, if you will consider this girl, yes you need to exchange pictures because there is nothing wrong with her seeing your face or you seeing hers, and the prophet said that something like that should not be ignored at engagement before the proposal is made. If you are serious about the girl, then get serious about her and about your life. Life doesn't get organized unless you have something to organize it for and around, and a marriage might be in the works.

Good luck and May you be blessed.
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sister931
05-27-2009, 12:14 PM
you should try speaking to someone at the muslim youth helpline, www.myh.org.uk, 08088082008 - they're really helpful!
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