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MrKhan89
05-30-2009, 01:04 AM
because, you have to consider 2 things, first thing is what food will the wife like or the husband will like, since im pakistani, i know many people won't like spicy food, and i probably won't like their food.

second thing is what language you'll mostly speak, mostly likely your gonna speak english, but honestly i only feel comfortable speaking my own language more than english.
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MrKhan89
05-30-2009, 01:09 AM
another i forgot to mention is, it also matters is the person recently converted to islam, because if the person is not religious and became muslim; that person probably won't be a good muslim, but if the person is religious then yes; that person will definitely be a good muslim.
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Yanal
05-30-2009, 01:09 AM
Interesting....I would look for her characteristics and quality of a muslim rather then where she comes from...tht infront of strangers might be discrimination...I would eat anything my wife makes just like I eat what my mom makes.
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MrKhan89
05-30-2009, 01:10 AM
Originally Posted by Alpha Jr
Interesting....I would look for her characteristics and quality of a muslim rather then where she comes from...tht infront of strangers might be discrimination...I would eat anything my wife makes just like I eat what my mom makes.
whats your nationality?
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Yanal
05-30-2009, 01:11 AM
I was born in Canada but parents come from Pakistan.
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MrKhan89
05-30-2009, 01:13 AM
Originally Posted by Alpha Jr
I was born in Canada but parents come from Pakistan.
oh...
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Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн
05-30-2009, 01:19 AM
I agree with bro Alpha Jr on this :) Wouldn't mind either way i.e. the persons character as a Muslim.
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Yanal
05-30-2009, 01:20 AM
Alpha__
Jr*
Let me ask u what do u look at,originated or emaan(characteristics etc) ?
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The Ruler
05-30-2009, 01:20 AM
Originally Posted by MrKhan89
because, you have to consider 2 things, first thing is what food will the wife like or the husband will like, since im pakistani, i know many people won't like spicy food, and i probably won't like their food.

second thing is what language you'll mostly speak, mostly likely your gonna speak english, but honestly i only feel comfortable speaking my own language more than english.
I think when you're looking for someone to marry, you're looking for compatibility... And that, obviously, includes food, culture, language etc.

another i forgot to mention is, it also matters is the person recently converted to islam, because if the person is not religious and became muslim; that person probably won't be a good muslim, but if the person is religious then yes; that person will definitely be a good muslim.
That's a very pathetic and disgusting way to judge one's Imaan. I do strongly believe that when one converts, they convert with full knowledge of what they're getting into. And life for the convert is not as easy as those who are born muslim. If they're capable of pulling through, they must have great Imaan, right?

whats your nationality?
Uhm, Alpha Jr is a brother... *_*
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Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн
05-30-2009, 01:21 AM
Are u asking me or the bro.
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Yanal
05-30-2009, 01:24 AM
I agree with Alpha
I understand you look at emaan and characteristics..right ? So no need to answer tht question was directed at mrkhan89,btw The ruler thanks for clarifying what we didnt need to know....:)
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Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн
05-30-2009, 01:27 AM
Yes sir :)

Ok just making sure u know lol.
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SistaSista
05-30-2009, 01:31 AM
FAO MrKhan

Whoa, a bit closed minded, we all like different things and race is nothing but a cultural and colour difference, in Islam we are all one brotherhood, I know white Brits who love their curry and I know of pakistanis who dont like spicy food. You could always teach your mrs your native tongue and you could cook together, sharing family recipes, problem solved. Its about compromise with different cultures when they marry and mainly it is about your love and dedication for ISLAM. I suggest you dont marry inter-racially if you are worried with food and dialogue.
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Yanal
05-30-2009, 01:34 AM
Bro u need to learn tht in heaven you and your wife inshAllah will not have to cook and learn what is a proper marriage.
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Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн
05-30-2009, 01:34 AM
exactly sis, Sista.
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egyptballer
05-30-2009, 01:35 AM
because, you have to consider 2 things, first thing is what food will the wife like or the husband will like, since im pakistani, i know many people won't like spicy food, and i probably won't like their food.

second thing is what language you'll mostly speak, mostly likely your gonna speak english, but honestly i only feel comfortable speaking my own language more than english.

Well you must consider the whole culture of a person not only food and language.Also I think you must consider the pros and cons to interracial marriage.What if you spread the name of Islam to the other family if it is interracial,did you consider this?Many things have two sides to it.

another i forgot to mention is, it also matters is the person recently converted to islam, because if the person is not religious and became muslim; that person probably won't be a good muslim, but if the person is religious then yes; that person will definitely be a good muslim.

Actually that is incorrect,I find converts can be great Muslims because they chose to go into Islam without the extra guidance from a parent or guardian.I see that many converts can be better then non-convert Muslims because they had that zeal to enter Islam.inshAllah
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Yanal
05-30-2009, 01:36 AM
^Yes converts feel the need to learn extra from the years they missed causing them to be better muslims then the best of us sometimes.
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Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн
05-30-2009, 01:39 AM
It's something new and fresh to them, somethin different from how they've been living mostly.
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Yanal
05-30-2009, 01:40 AM
Yea and tht gives them more guidance then us...making them better muslims:).
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Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн
05-30-2009, 01:43 AM
We take for granted what Allah blesses us with from the start. We don't see it as something different cuz its already been adjusted to us whether the wrong way or right way. But still u gotta give props to those who still search being born in a muslim family. That just means they get out of their little bubble. Like myself I know a lot of things I've heard around from people is 100 percent culture. I'd not have known it, had i kept following blindly and not really practising either. Just doing it cuz my family does.
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Yanal
05-30-2009, 01:46 AM
Likewise,we will not care since our parents are muslims but new converts hv to do this to complete them accepting Islam.
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Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн
05-30-2009, 01:50 AM
Yeap totally. Not all reverts have the same amount of support as we get, even if it's a little bit.
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ragdollcat1982
05-30-2009, 01:54 AM
I thought that racism is a sin in Islam. As long as both parties are believers that should make the foundation for the marriage.
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Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн
05-30-2009, 01:57 AM
Yes it's haram sis. Racism has no place in Islam.
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ragdollcat1982
05-30-2009, 02:06 AM
Originally Posted by Light of Heaven
Yes it's haram sis. Racism has no place in Islam.
No place in Christianity either. That is my qalms with Judiasm. It is so ethnocentric and it is hard for anybody to convert to it.
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Yanal
05-30-2009, 02:11 AM
But I bet it is reasonable for a born Jewish.
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Beardo
05-30-2009, 02:12 AM
See, one thing is not to like for yourself, and its a whole nother thing to not like in general. There is nothing wrong with interracial marriages as long as the person who performs it realizes and understands the differences. If both parties are okay and know what they are up to, I don't see any reason why they should not be together... right?
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Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн
05-30-2009, 02:13 AM
Yea true.
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Yanal
05-30-2009, 02:15 AM
Yeah but the point here is tht: We should not look for extra provisions in our meal (wife) as even if you have basic it will do

Now lets stop discussing because we are all slightly off topic.
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MrKhan89
05-30-2009, 05:30 AM
first of all, i know one family that had there son marry a former jewish girl who became muslim, and that girl he married was either middle eastern or european girl or american though, i honestly didn't like the way she looked, i can't believe on why a guy like him would want to marry her.

this has nothing do to with racism, this has something to do with what i said in this thread.
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MrKhan89
05-30-2009, 05:33 AM
First of all, since im pakistani, im gonna marry a pakistani girl that was raised where i live.
I was thinking about marrying some malaysian or indonesian or far east asian muslim girl though, but i know its not gonna exactly work though.

Why did Allah have to give everyone different languages and cultures, i understand that he made them look different, but why not have the same langauge so we can understand them better?
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Yanal
05-30-2009, 05:35 AM
We should all learn Arabic since it is the language of our holy book.
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S_87
05-30-2009, 10:16 AM
Originally Posted by MrKhan89
another i forgot to mention is, it also matters is the person recently converted to islam, because if the person is not religious and became muslim; that person probably won't be a good muslim, but if the person is religious then yes; that person will definitely be a good muslim.
well thats a bit generalised since not every born muslim is practising anyway...

and as for food...lol
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Tony
05-30-2009, 10:20 AM
Originally Posted by MrKhan89
First of all, since im pakistani, im gonna marry a pakistani girl that was raised where i live.
I was thinking about marrying some malaysian or indonesian or far east asian muslim girl though, but i know its not gonna exactly work though.

Why did Allah have to give everyone different languages and cultures, i understand that he made them look different, but why not have the same langauge so we can understand them better?

May Allah bless you with the right wife and make you both vey happy. Peace brother
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Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн
05-30-2009, 03:05 PM
How would we come to try and understand one another if Allah Ta'ala made us all the same? I'd say it'd be not as fun...and ultimately Allah knows best, we don't.
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aadil77
05-30-2009, 03:25 PM
Originally Posted by MrKhan89
because, you have to consider 2 things, first thing is what food will the wife like or the husband will like, since im pakistani, i know many people won't like spicy food, and i probably won't like their food.

second thing is what language you'll mostly speak, mostly likely your gonna speak english, but honestly i only feel comfortable speaking my own language more than english.
Bro these are minor issues, I can understand your view as I'm pakistani and people over there are can be narrow minded. A persons deen is the most important factor in a marriage which definately isn't in pakistan. The factors in pakistan for marriage are: nationality or family (obviously pakistani), wealth, family name, degree, tribe, skin colour, race, if you're sayyid or not!! etc

I don't think deen even comes into it
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Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн
05-30-2009, 03:28 PM
Rarely it does i.e. deen.
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Intisar
05-30-2009, 03:37 PM
:sl: Do you not like the idea of an interracial marriage for yourself, or the idea of interracial marriage in general?

If it's the former, then that's your business, that's really racist. At the end of the day we are all Muslim, one ummah. Bro have you ever read the last sermon of the Prophet Muhammad salAllaahu 'alayhi wasalam, he spoke exactly about this.

Reverts/converts whatever you want to call them, are usually from families that hate islam and once their family finds out they have no place to go. And through all of their trials and tribulations just trying to fight to keep their deen they still have their imaan intact. So please do not make gross generalisations that have no real bearing, because it's actually quite the opposite most reverts are very religious some might say even more religious than ''born Muslims'' because they've been convinced about Islam and they fought for it.

And finally, I'd just like to say. Do you only hang around Pakistani people? Do you not have any other friends from different races? Cause the way you think is really close-minded inshaAllaah you become a little more open-minded about this.

Even though I prefer my own race over others, it doesn't mean I have to hate other races. In fact, most of my friends are from different races marrying from my own race is just a personal choice. And because of that I don't think reverts are ''less religious'' than born Muslims, I don't think I have to compromise my own culture for another, and I don't hate their food. Those are really trivial things bro, and when it comes down to it the child will most likely have a better understanding of different cultures since he/she will come from one inshaAllaah.

It's all about understanding each other's differences and making the effort. And if it has no place in Islam, then we leave it. Period.
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Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн
05-30-2009, 03:39 PM
Originally Posted by Ameena*
:sl: Do you not like the idea of an interracial marriage for yourself, or the idea of interracial marriage in general?

If it's the former, then that's your business, that's really racist. At the end of the day we are all Muslim, one ummah. Bro have you ever read the last sermon of the Prophet Muhammad salAllaahu 'alayhi wasalam, he spoke exactly about this.

Reverts/converts whatever you want to call them, are usually from families that hate islam and once their family finds out they have no place to go. And through all of their trials and tribulations just trying to fight to keep their deen they still have their imaan intact. So please do not make gross generalisations that have no real bearing, because it's actually quite the opposite most reverts are very religious some might say even more religious than ''born Muslims'' because they've been convinced about Islam and they fought for it.

And finally, I'd just like to say. Do you only hang around Pakistani people? Do you not have any other friends from different races? Cause the way you think is really close-minded inshaAllaah you become a little more open-minded about this.

Even though I prefer my own race over others, it doesn't mean I have to hate other races. In fact, most of my friends are from different races marrying from my own race is just a personal choice. And because of that I don't think reverts are ''less religious'' than born Muslims, I don't think I have to compromise my own culture for another, and I don't hate their food. Those are really trivial things bro, and when it comes down to it the child will most likely have a better understanding of different cultures since he/she will come from one inshaAllaah.

It's all about understanding each other's differences and making the effort. And if it has no place in Islam, then we leave it. Period.

Yeap totally agree with you :thumbs_up
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Rabi'ya
05-30-2009, 03:55 PM
:sl:

I am British born revert married to a British born Pakistani. Alhamdulillah we get on really well and food is by no means the worst problem faced by married. We agree on many things and also disagree on many things. If both partners had the same likes and dislikes wouldn't that be a boring marriage. Marriage is about understanding and compromise, amongst other things. We have spicy food sometimes, and we have "plain" food other times. I can cook both Asian and British food, as well as food from other cultures.

About language, Ive been married 4 years now and I understand my husbands families language, even though most of the time they speak English. InshAllah language is not a problem. One can easily learn another language. And it is fantastic for kids to start life with more than one language. MY daughter was bi-lingual at the age of just a few months!!!!SubhanAllah

When I look around us, I see many people who are within a multi racial marriage, but I think if anything, this strengthens the bond between husband and wife. You learn many things about each other and as long as you are both good Muslims with the right intentions then nothing can steer you wrong inshAllah

just my humble opinion
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convert
05-30-2009, 04:24 PM
its a common problem, one that i have run into before. unfortunately, the problem stems mostly to convert brothers and i would reckon that if the brother in question had the chance to marry a white convert sister, he would jump at the chance with little to no resistance from his family.

this nonsense needs to be stamped out quick, fast, and in a hurry if the ummah hopes to progress past petty nationalistic issues.

its tough for white converts but even harder for the black and chinese converts in this regard, i have noticed
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ardianto
05-30-2009, 04:30 PM
I am Indonesian.
I know some Indonesian people who married White men/women or even married black African or American Latinos. Indonesian people can accept interracial marriages.

There are lots of Chinese, Pakistani/Indian and Arab who are living in Indonesia. They are not imigrant, but born in Indonesia.

About Chinese. Marriages between Indonesian and Chinese is not a rare case. My cousin and some of my friends married Chinese, even I have Chinese blood. They have no problem with their marriages. But maybe that's because racial diversity between Chinese and Indonesia is not so far. Chinese are Mongoloid and Indonesia are Malayan, branch of Mongoloid.

However, I see Pakistani/Indian in Indonesia always marry another Pakistani/Indian or at least, marry Arab.
And Arab in Indonesia always marry another Arab or at least marry Pakistani/Indian. Pakistani/Indian and Arab in Indonesia never marry Indonesian. Frankly, I don't know why ?

PS : This is not a racist question, I just want to know.
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MrKhan89
05-30-2009, 04:35 PM
Originally Posted by Ameena*
:sl: Do you not like the idea of an interracial marriage for yourself, or the idea of interracial marriage in general?

If it's the former, then that's your business, that's really racist. At the end of the day we are all Muslim, one ummah. Bro have you ever read the last sermon of the Prophet Muhammad salAllaahu 'alayhi wasalam, he spoke exactly about this.

Reverts/converts whatever you want to call them, are usually from families that hate islam and once their family finds out they have no place to go. And through all of their trials and tribulations just trying to fight to keep their deen they still have their imaan intact. So please do not make gross generalisations that have no real bearing, because it's actually quite the opposite most reverts are very religious some might say even more religious than ''born Muslims'' because they've been convinced about Islam and they fought for it.

And finally, I'd just like to say. Do you only hang around Pakistani people? Do you not have any other friends from different races? Cause the way you think is really close-minded inshaAllaah you become a little more open-minded about this.

Even though I prefer my own race over others, it doesn't mean I have to hate other races. In fact, most of my friends are from different races marrying from my own race is just a personal choice. And because of that I don't think reverts are ''less religious'' than born Muslims, I don't think I have to compromise my own culture for another, and I don't hate their food. Those are really trivial things bro, and when it comes down to it the child will most likely have a better understanding of different cultures since he/she will come from one inshaAllaah.

It's all about understanding each other's differences and making the effort. And if it has no place in Islam, then we leave it. Period.
listen i did have a few non-pakistani friends as well, but i prefer having to hang out with my own race more, because it is better, another thing is, allah didn't really make us all the same, because we speak different languages and have different cultures and people look different from one another, i wish allah would make more twins in this world, because i find twins to be amazing :D
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MrKhan89
05-30-2009, 04:39 PM
Originally Posted by ardianto
I am Indonesian.
I know some Indonesian people who married White men/women or even married black African or American Latinos. Indonesian people can accept interracial marriages.

There are lots of Chinese, Pakistani/Indian and Arab who are living in Indonesia. They are not imigrant, but born in Indonesia.

About Chinese. Marriages between Indonesian and Chinese is not a rare case. My cousin and some of my friends married Chinese, even I have Chinese blood. They have no problem with their marriages. But maybe that's because racial diversity between Chinese and Indonesia is not so far. Chinese are Mongoloid and Indonesia are Malayan, branch of Mongoloid.

However, I see Pakistani/Indian in Indonesia always marry another Pakistani/Indian or at least, marry Arab.
And Arab in Indonesia always marry another Arab or at least marry Pakistani/Indian. Pakistani/Indian and Arab in Indonesia never marry Indonesian. Frankly, I don't know why ?

PS : This is not a racist question, I just want to know.
well if indonesians can understand other races i guess they can marry another race, but to tell you the truth, i was thinking about marrying a indonesian or malaysian girl though, because i find them just as attractive as the girls in pakistan.
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Rabi'ya
05-30-2009, 04:42 PM
:sl:

attractive how? like outwardly or with their level of belief and the amount of worship they perform towards Allah?
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MrKhan89
05-30-2009, 04:43 PM
Originally Posted by Rabi'ya
:sl:

attractive how? like outwardly or with their level of belief and the amount of worship they perform towards Allah?
the way they look and it depends on how they worship.
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convert
05-30-2009, 04:46 PM
Originally Posted by Rabi'ya
:sl:

attractive how? like outwardly or with their level of belief and the amount of worship they perform towards Allah?
probably the first. i think the brother just has problems with pakistani woman, particularly his sisters/cousins/female relatives in general marrying non-pakistanis.
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MrKhan89
05-30-2009, 04:49 PM
Originally Posted by yusuf18
everyone should stick to own race:thumbs_up
exactly, why can't people just marry there own race?

marry other people doesn't look good, it looks messed up to me.

im not narrow or closed minded, im just saying.
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convert
05-30-2009, 04:51 PM
Originally Posted by MrKhan89
exactly, why can't people just marry there own race?

marry other people doesn't look good, it looks messed up to me.

im not narrow or closed minded, im just saying.
my other post was deleted even thought it contained valid criticism. at any rate, i will summarize:

if people should stay to their own race then i wouldn't be getting married as there aren't a lot of muslim sisters my race and arab/desi brothers snatch them up as soon as they take shahadah.

and yes, it is close minded and somewhat racist. both of you need to check yourself and read what the prophet (saw) said in the arafat sermon and look at not only his marriages, but the marriages of other sahabah
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Rabi'ya
05-30-2009, 04:53 PM
:sl:

that's what I was thinking too :)I'd still be single and would not have my beautiful daughter.

Does MrKhan think that it is better for people to stay single rather than marrying antoher race? or is this just his personal opinion about his own situation?
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Rabi'ya
05-30-2009, 04:55 PM
Please someone just close this thread down!!
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Intisar
05-30-2009, 04:56 PM
^Yeah.
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