studying sisters?

[Ummu Sufyaan]

:sl:
would a brother mind a sister who is studying...i mean say he proposed and she was in the middle of a degree...would most brothers mind if she continued to finish her degree (whilst she is engaged/married) or would he prefer her to stop for marriage (even if she doesn't intend on working, etc after wards)..

i hope im making sense here...

[crayon]

Hmmm... Yes, brothers, what say you?

[Intisar]

:sl: I am in the same situation. :p I'm nowhere near done, so yeah at the end of the day he's gonna be the one that provides right? So it really shouldn't be a problem inshaAllaah.

[noorseeker]

i dont know , if she isnt going to work after shes done, then i dont see the point.
but on the flip side , its good to get knowledge.

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[Güven]

Well it depends on how many years she has left.

If it's only one or two years then it won't be a problem....I guess.

[Al-Hanbali]

:salamext:

Let her finish...as it long as it's not too long.

[Yanal]

I would wait...patiently.

[Najm]

:sl:
would a brother mind a sister who is studying...i mean say he proposed and she was in the middle of a degree...would most brothers mind if she continued to finish her degree (whilst she is engaged/married) or would he prefer her to stop for marriage (even if she doesn't intend on working, etc after wards)..

i hope im making sense here...

AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

I would get married to her rather than wait as well as let her continue her education! Whether she wants to work or not should really matter! <<< its her choice to work. But she must work in a place where im comfortable with

Marriage shouldnt mean end of the world!!

FiAmaaniAllah

[ardianto]

I often found a sister who still studying after married.
And I often found a sister who stop studying after married. Her study is not stoped by her husband, but by herself. Husband usually allows his wife continue her study.
However, that is in Indonesia. Husband in other country maybe has different minds.

[Yanal]

^but how about a boy interacts with her while you are married to her,that would be sin for her so rather wait then get bad deeds,right ? You have to think...

[Rabi'ya]

I wasn't able to attend university when I was 18 due to my personal circumstances. So after I got married and had my daughter, my husband said that rather than work I should study. He knew I wanted to but he actually encouraged it. InshAllah after 2 more years Ill have graduated. I'll be so glad when it's over and through everything I've had the support of my husband at every step of the way :)

[convert]

doesnt matter to me. as long as she is my wife and not just "some chick i live with" then its cool.

[Yanal]

^You sure ? Think of the bad points not to discourage people but alert them:
• Interacting
•Fitnah
•Girls might backbite
All this = Bad deeds and your relationship is already to a bad start with Allah.

[convert]

^You sure ? Think of the bad points not to discourage people but alert them:
• Interacting
•Fitnah
•Girls might backbite
All this = Bad deeds and your relationship is already to a bad start with Allah.

yup, im sure. i cant keep my wife locked in doors all day while im at work. id trust her to main good adab until she gave me a reason not to.

[Yanal]

Yeah all Alphas think alike.LOL I just saw thats ur personal message....

Btw convert nice answer but dont be blindfolded too much.

[ardianto]

^but how about a boy interacts with her while you are married to her,that would be sin for her so rather wait then get bad deeds,right ? You have to think...

She must tell that boy, "I have married. If you want to be my friend, it's okay, but don't so close and don't fall in love with me, or my husband shall kill you". ;D

Just kidding. :sunny:
My wife had finished her study when I married her. She was born in a poor family. Her parent can't afford to pay study fee in Uni but she wanted to study higher than high school. So, she took a 1 year diploma program in computer. And I spent my saving for paid her study fee.

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

^You sure ? Think of the bad points not to discourage people but alert them:
• Interacting
•Fitnah
•Girls might backbite
All this = Bad deeds and your relationship is already to a bad start with Allah.

.....It's the same thing whether you're married or not. What's the difference? :mmokay: Fitna doesnt automatically dissipate from the planet once you are married...

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

I'm still going to study afterwards, but the only difference is it'll be Islamic Studies InshaAllah. All my regular studies I will finish beforehand...inshaAllah.

[S_87]

^You sure ? Think of the bad points not to discourage people but alert them:
• Interacting
•Fitnah
•Girls might backbite
All this = Bad deeds and your relationship is already to a bad start with Allah.

you sure make it sound like women let loose cant control themselves:mmokay:

BTW all those points are valid for men too..

[yusuf18]

and also i wud mind if a sister is studing further education i want a wife who is on the deen 100 percent:thumbs_up

[S_87]

and also i wud mind if a sister is studing further education i want a wife who is on the deen 100 percent

mashaAllah so those who study and serve the ummah wouldnt be on the deen 100% ? there is nothing wrong with having personal preferences but to imply that a woman who may be a doctor treating your wife, or a teacher teaching your kids can not do that and been on the deen 100% is ignorant.

[The Ruler]

I'm sure muslim women know what's right and wrong. They're not ignorant beings who don't know what they must cover and in front of whom.

Even as a woman, I encourage the women to keep studying. Simply because if the women are not 'educated' and the husbands are, IMO, they look down on you. Perhaps not in the first few years of marriage when things are more physical, but later on, when the relationship gets a little sour.

[yusuf18]

mashaAllah so those who study and serve the ummah wouldnt be on the deen 100% ? there is nothing wrong with having personal preferences but to imply that a woman who may be a doctor treating your wife, or a teacher teaching your kids can not do that and been on the deen 100% is ignorant.

sorry sister but i regard my sister in islam higher then what you may have been infulenced by the west the muslima her house is her work and allah made it high for the woman and i qoute allah says (and stay in your homes) and dont get me wrong there is nothing wrong for a sister to educate herself mashallah

[BlissfullyJaded]

:sl:

Erm... To those who believe a woman at being at college is fitnah, and that she can't handle herself in the presence of her male class mates, you should find out what type of girl she is before you get married anyway. Whether she goes to university or not, fitnah of the opposite gender can arise, unless you decide to lock her up in the house.

Brother Yusuf, pursueing an education is not being "influenced" by the West. If so, that is really sad. Islam encouraged education for boys and girls before the West did, but I'm aware that in today's time the West has surpassed in achievements, but that doesn't take away from the fact. It's kinda hard for a Muslimah to be a doctor/nurse/midwife and stay in her home. There were women even in the Sahabah's time who were midwives, and would go out of their homes to help women...that doesn't mean they were any less of Muslimahs, clearly since they were Sahabiyaat!

[Rebel]

Maybe I'm behind but... can someone please remind me exactly what is wrong with women who study :-\?

^but how about a boy interacts with her while you are married to her,that would be sin for her so rather wait then get bad deeds,right ? You have to think...

What do you mean? Interact in what way? Aren't you interacting with females here :><:?

[Banu_Hashim]

Nope, I wouldn't have any problem. I'd encourage it, if that's what she wanted to do.

My mum wasn't able to complete her degree because of having kids (me and my sister) straight after marriage. So, now that my youngest sister is old enough, in September she's going start her degree in Intercultural Communication and Linguistics, after almost 20 years of marriage!

[Banu_Hashim]

^You sure ? Think of the bad points not to discourage people but alert them:
• Interacting
•Fitnah
•Girls might backbite
All this = Bad deeds and your relationship is already to a bad start with Allah.

Codswallop. To be honest, if the sister is serious about studying then she'll be educated enough to know those things are haram for her, and will be uncomfortable in those situations anyway. Yes, it's possible, but I think we're talking about higher education before/after marriage rather than high school... where those things are more likely to occur.

[Banu_Hashim]

sorry sister but i regard my sister in islam higher then what you may have been infulenced by the west the muslima her house is her work and allah made it high for the woman and i qoute allah says (and stay in your homes) and dont get me wrong there is nothing wrong for a sister to educate herself mashallah

OK, but do we really want generations of Muslim women staying at home, uneducated ? What was the first verse of the Qur'an revealed ? It's a religious obligation on Muslims (male or female!) to acquire knowledge.

[S_87]

sorry sister but i regard my sister in islam higher then what you may have been infulenced by the west the muslima her house is her work and allah made it high for the woman and i qoute allah says (and stay in your homes) and dont get me wrong there is nothing wrong for a sister to educate herself mashallah

you dont know anything about me so dont assume of what i have been influenced by and how would u educate if u want let your wife leave her house? will you teach her?

[yusuf18]

you dont know anything about me so dont assume of what i have been influenced by and how would u educate if u want let your wife leave her house? will you teach her?

yes ofcourse

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

I agree with all my lovely sisters :D lol

[Najm]

OK, but do we really want generations of Muslim women staying at home, uneducated ? What was the first verse of the Qur'an revealed ? It's a religious obligation on Muslims (male or female!) to acquire knowledge.

AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

An obligation which everyone must strive to do!!! SubhaanAllah!

FiAmaaniAllah

[yusuf18]

AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

An obligation which everyone must strive to do!!! SubhaanAllah!

FiAmaaniAllah

nothing wrong with studying but the problem is further education women should stay home and meet the needs of their husband

[Najm]

nothing wrong with studying but the problem is further education women should stay home and meet the needs of their husband

AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

Really, wow, i know many sisters who are able to do both. I guess they are twice the women! :D

Akhi nobody is denying that the rights of the husband or the wife!

p.s. further education is studying.

FiAmaaniAllah

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

Just a bit of info...further studies could also include Islamic studies. Are you going to stop her from that too? If a guy were to stop me from that then he can take a hike.

[yusuf18]

AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

Really, wow, i know many sisters who are able to do both. I guess they are twice the women! :D

Akhi nobody is denying that the rights of the husband or the wife!

p.s. further education is studying.

FiAmaaniAllah

no she carnt do both i want a wife not a husband

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

What he means is, some women are capable of doing both. What you want is what YOU want.
And ultimately the husband and wife can work it out between each other.

[yusuf18]

What he means is, some women are capable of doing both. What you want is what YOU want.
And ultimately the husband and wife can work it out between each other.

subanallah they dont need to work it out if they are upon the quran and sunnah becouse the roles have already been dished out so what is their to discuss further dont you testify that profhet muhammad is the messenger of allah ? do you not believe
take note please (it is not allowed for a believer man or women to have any choice when Allah and His Messenger decide a matter.”

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

Being upon the Qur'aan and Sunnah doesnt mean bounding the wife with chains. She can be a good wife/mother and still educate herself. As I stated, other types education also would include Islamic studies not just studies like a degree in Chemical Engineering or something...and if a person can put both fields of knowledge together it makes it more effective. There were women scholars back in the day and we need more of them.

[yusuf18]

Being upon the Qur'aan and Sunnah doesnt mean bounding the wife with chains. She can be a good wife/mother and still educate herself. As I stated, other types education also would include Islamic studies not just studies like a degree in Chemical Engineering or something...

we all know sister that sisters knowdays are following the west subanallah allah says (stay in your homes)

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

First of all, do not generalize. I can guarantee you, we have very wonderful sisters more upon the Qur'aan and Sunnah than you and myself and yet they are very educated. Educated but know their place as a Muslim woman. So please don't speak out of ignorance.

[Najm]

subanallah they dont need to work it out if they are upon the quran and sunnah becouse the roles have already been dished out so what is their to discuss further dont you testify that profhet muhammad is the messenger of allah ? do you not believe
take note please (it is not allowed for a believer man or women to have any choice when Allah and His Messenger decide a matter.”

AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

SubhaanAllah!!! We all testify!

Akhi where does the quran and sunnah say that women are not allowed education? Why should the wife not be educated?

I want my wife to be educated, and to meet my needs as a husband.

FiAmaaniAllah

[yusuf18]

First of all, do not generalize. I can guarantee you, we have very wonderful sisters more upon the Qur'aan and Sunnah than you and myself. So please don't speak out of ignorance.

pleas dont guarantee anything allah knows we carnt even guarantee some of the sahabah so inshallah be careful allah knows the heart not you:sunny:

[Najm]

we all know sister that sisters knowdays are following the west subanallah allah says (stay in your homes)

AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

Last i remember my sisters doesnt follow the "west"!

Infact i would go far as saying theses sisters in the "west" are more likely to be on the quran and sunnah because they are educated.

Education leaves behind ignorance.

Akhi need to stop generalizing. and think about your responses.

FiAmaaniAllah

[yusuf18]

AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

Last i remember my sisters doesnt follow the "west"!

Infact i would go far as saying theses sisters in the "west" are more likely to be on the quran and sunnah because they are educated.

Education leaves behind ignorance.

Akhi need to stop generalizing. and think about your responses.

FiAmaaniAllah

ever heard of a feminist muslima

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

pleas dont guarantee anything allah knows we carnt even guarantee some of the sahabah so inshallah be careful allah knows the heart not you:sunny:

No I can still guarantee it because if anything there is always a chance of some of my sisters upon it. Personal struggles are a different thing, but u cannot deny that they will do their best for the sake of Allah. That is still being upon the deen.

And tell me this brother, how will you have Muslim female doctors when your wife, mother or sister needs a checkup? As it is recommended she meet with a female. How is that possible if people like you think their only place is in the home like some piece of furniture? Perhaps your intentions are good, but your approach and rationality is a bit swayed and I think you need to sort it out.

Who's going to teach our sisters about personal issues if they do no educate themself? We need women scholars today as was always in the past. And quite frankly no one, not even you, will change my mind, so argue all you want.

[yusuf18]

No I can still guarantee it because if anything there is always a chance of some of my sisters upon it. Personal struggles are a different thing, but u cannot deny that they will do their best for the sake of Allah. That is still being upon the deen.

And tell me this brother, how will you have Muslim female doctors when your wife, mother or sister needs a checkup? As it is recommended she meet with a female. How is that possible if people like you think their only place is in the home like some piece of furniture? Perhaps your intentions are good, but your approach and rationality is a bit swayed and I think you need to sort it out.

Who's going to teach our sisters about personal issues if they do no educate themself? We need women scholars today as was always in the past. And quite frankly no one, not even you, will change my mind, so argue all you want.

inshallah im not saying your intension is wrong ofcourse mashallah a sister wanting to learn deen

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

Ok :) Let me ask you this brother and please answer honestly. If your wife wants to further her education in Islamic studies, are young to stop her? As I stated, education doesn't only include education like that of in the West.

And do u recall, the first university was started in a Muslim country. Whats that tell you?

[yusuf18]

Ok :) Let me ask you this brother and please answer honestly. If your wife wants to further her education in Islamic studies, are young to stop her? As I stated, education doesn't only include education like that of in the West.

And do u recall, the first university was started in a Muslim country. Whats that tell you?

no i wont infact i would be happy

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

Ok great MashaAllah.

[Yanal]

That tells me that muslims were ready to face the Shytaan and go to UNI.

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

Muslims are always ready InshaAllah..

[Banu_Hashim]

Insha'Allah.

[Yanal]

And always will be inshAllah!

[Najm]

AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

InshaAllah!!! :D

FiAmaaniAllah

[S_87]

yes ofcourse

and what if u arent educated in the field that interests her?

[yusuf18]

and what if u arent educated in the field that interests her?

simple i will educate her the quran and hadith and thats it becouse thats the only right she has for learning ( i mean ofcourse learning up to school level or even college level the rest she has no right to do it kalass

[The Ruler]

simple i will educate her the quran and hadith and thats it becouse thats the only right she has for learning ( i mean ofcourse learning up to school level or even college level the rest she has no right to do it kalass

You're not going to give her the right that Islam gave her?

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

simple i will educate her the quran and hadith and thats it becouse thats the only right she has for learning ( i mean ofcourse learning up to school level or even college level the rest she has no right to do it kalass

Where does it say she's not allowed? How could u speak so ignorantly and so bluntly and in the name of Islam? SubhanAllah.

Tell me oh learned one...how do you expect to have female Muslim doctors or physicians, scholars or teachers to teach other Muslim women?

Was Khadija(ra) not a business woman?

[yusuf18]

You're not going to give her the right that Islam gave her?

what yes i said i will up to normal level like after school colege but further eduactiion is not needed and sisters should obey

[S_87]

simple i will educate her the quran and hadith and thats it becouse thats the only right she has for learning ( i mean ofcourse learning up to school level or even college level the rest she has no right to do it kalass

oh so you wouldnt allow her to visit a female doctor then? because that woman had no right learning?

Brother ive said it before and ill say it again, if its your personal preference then there is nothing wrong but you cant say that islamically it is not right for a woman to study

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

Where does it say she's not allowed? How could u speak so ignorantly and so bluntly and in the name of Islam? SubhanAllah.

Tell me oh learned one...how do you expect to have female Muslim doctors or physicians, scholars or teachers to teach other Muslim women?

Was Khadija(ra) not a business woman?

Answer plz.

[yusuf18]

Answer plz.

yes she was a bussnesss woman but that was in day of iganrance and as soon as she married profhet muhamamd he took over the job and also when she worked she didnt make money transactions with men she got a marahram to do that part of the job wear as know sisters prounce around with men in jobs

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

^^ Now your just generalizing. You still haven't answered the rest of my post and no she didn't stop completely. And what makes you think all the sisters do this? i.e. prounce around men. Have you no shame when you talking about some of our lovely sisters like that? You make my blood boil because you are being very ignorant.

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

Can we close this thread. Some people are bent on denying sisters their rights and use Islam as an excuse...wallahu Alam.

:sl:

[The Ruler]

Have you no shame when you talking about some of our lovely sisters like that? You make my blood boil because you are being very ignorant.

I really wonder what he saw in a women that made him have such misconceptions.

yusuf18, you're a disgusting man... What you think about muslim women disgusts me to the point where my toilet is clogged up in puke. You're interacting with sisters here who represent a good proportion of the muslim female population. Would you say were 'prouncing around men' online?

[yusuf18]

I really wonder what he saw in a women that made him have such misconceptions.

yusuf18, you're a disgusting man... What you think about muslim women disgusts me to the point where my toilet is clogged up in puke. You're interacting with sisters here who represent a good proportion of the muslim female population. Would you say were 'prouncing around men' online?

please dont get offended basicly in a nutshell for me sisters should not work or seek further eduction in islam so you hate me for and i ask allah to forgive me if i offended

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

Well now ur saying for you, but the whole time you've been saying Islam....Khair its fine its ok...im done with the thread.

:sl:

[yusuf18]

Well now ur saying for you, but the whole time you've been saying Islam....Khair its fine its ok...im done with the thread.

:sl:

i just said it to keep pease islam does say it but maybe im abit strong on it allhu alam

[The Ruler]

please dont get offended i didnt mean basicly in a nutshell for me sisters should not work or seek further eduction in islam so you hate me for and i ask allah to forgive me if i offended

I'm disgusted, not offended.

You see, I don't have a problem with whatever you want your woman to do or not do. What I have a problem with is the fact that your using Islam to support what you think is right and what you want from a muslim woman you would marry.

If what you want is for your wife to not attend university, fine, I respect that. But if you say Islam denies a woman the right to enter university, then I'll shred you.

Not really, but whatever.

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

I'm disgusted, not offended.

You see, I don't have a problem with whatever you want your woman to do or not do. What I have a problem with is the fact that your using Islam to support what you think is right and what you want from a muslim woman you would marry.

If what you want is for your wife to not attend university, fine, I respect that. But if you say Islam denies a woman the right to enter university, then I'll shred you.

Not really, but whatever.

:thumbs_up :ace:

[yusuf18]

I'm disgusted, not offended.

You see, I don't have a problem with whatever you want your woman to do or not do. What I have a problem with is the fact that your using Islam to support what you think is right and what you want from a muslim woman you would marry.

If what you want is for your wife to not attend university, fine, I respect that. But if you say Islam denies a woman the right to enter university, then I'll shred you.

Not really, but whatever.

i have to be honest and say i am wrong for once let me just say that and you made a valid point hands up

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

i just said it to keep pease islam does say it but maybe im abit strong on it allhu alam

Islam says it would good for her to be in the home, but it doesnt go on to say she cannot or its completely forbidden...that's only what you think.

[Ibn Abi Ahmed]

:sl:

For the original question, I have no problem with my wife studying before or after marriage. I would encourage it. We need our sisters educated and informed because they're the ones who'll play a major role in raising the next generation of Muslims, keeping them locked at home is impractical and honestly, quite dumb. We need sisters educated and working in professions so they can, at the very least, tend to the needs of the other sisters in the Muslim community.

I remember hearing in a lecture long ago where the speaker said something really precise. He said: "The Companions were more liberal than the conservatives of today, and more conservative than the liberals of today." Meaning, they were somewhere in the middle between the two extremes that we have today. We need a balance and an informed outlook at the current society, and need to apply the Islamic rulings in accordance. We can apply 'blocking the means' principle of Fiqh and make our societies ultra-conservative, but that's impractical, especially when living here as a minority. Our sisters deserve education and they deserve to move forward. I have not yet heard from one scholar who is familiar with the West and has grown up here and in touch with the Muslim communities and is also Islamically learned who says that sisters ought to be locked at home and that their place is the kitchen, and until I do, I'd consider anyone propagating such a biased look as out of touch with reality.

I think the fitnah out there is more for the men than the women. It's the men that are more easily found messing around. I think we can trust that our sisters are not naive and know the right from the wrong enough to go out and be active in the community. We need mothers and wives who are educated and in touch with the society for them to raise children here.

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

:sl:

For the original question, I have no problem with my wife studying before or after marriage. I would encourage it. We need our sisters educated and informed because they're the ones who'll play a major role in raising the next generation of Muslims, keeping them locked at home is impractical and honestly, quite dumb. We need sisters educated and working in professions so they can, at the very least, tend to the needs of the other sisters in the Muslim community.

I remember hearing in a lecture long ago where the speaker said something really precise. He said: "The Companions were more liberal than the conservatives of today, and more conservative than the liberals of today." Meaning, they were somewhere in the middle between the two extremes that we have today. We need a balance and an informed outlook at the current society, and need to apply the Islamic rulings in accordance. We can apply 'blocking the means' principle of Fiqh and make our societies ultra-conservative, but that's impractical, especially when living here as a minority. Our sisters deserve education and they deserve to move forward. I have not yet heard from one scholar who is familiar with the West and has grown up here and in touch with the Muslim communities and is also Islamically learned who says that sisters ought to be locked at home and that their place is the kitchen, and until I do, I'd consider anyone propagating such a biased look as out of touch with reality.

I think the fitnah out there is more for the men than the women. It's the men that are more easily found messing around. I think we can trust that our sisters are not naive and know the right from the wrong enough to go out and be active in the community. We need mothers and wives who are educated and in touch with the society for them to raise children here.

:sl:

JazkaAllah Khair brother :thumbs_up

[Yanal]

^JazakAllah Khayr bro Abd Al Rahmaan.

@ you are one of my peeps mashAllah!:)

[Ummu Sufyaan]

nothing wrong with studying but the problem is further education women should stay home and meet the needs of their husband

last i remember, women were the ones considered multi-talented...

no she carnt do both i want a wife not a husband

so now an educated woman is like a man...mmm interesting :$

we all know sister that sisters knowdays are following the west subanallah allah says (stay in your homes)

oh and yes, i forgot, you men are like droplets of honey fallen from heaven...

has it ever crossed your mind why Muslim women want an eduction/work these days? i mean really i would honestly say that the reason is due to the physical/emotional/mental abuse handed down to them by their husbands...women therefore don't trust men, and want to seek their own means of livelihood...can you really blame us?

so if anything, you should be blaming your own gender for women supposedly following the west...what a load of rubbish...

ever heard of a feminist muslima

ever heard of a chauvinist Muslim?

yes she was a bussnesss woman but that was in day of iganrance and as soon as she married profhet muhamamd he took over the job

did he?

and also when she worked she didnt make money transactions with men she got a marahram to do that part of the job wear as know sisters prounce around with men in jobs

and you would know this because your one of these men who she supposedly prounces with...fear allah and bite your tongue akhee! your sisters in Islam deserve alot more respect than to have baseless accusations thrown at them!!!

[Yanal]

bro yusuf how can the Prophets time be the time of arrogance ?

[yusuf18]

last i remember, women were the ones considered multi-talented...


so now an educated woman is like a man...mmm interesting :$


oh and yes, i forgot, you men are like droplets of honey fallen from heaven...

has it ever crossed your mind why Muslim women want an eduction/work these days? i mean really i would honestly say that the reason is due to the physical/emotional/mental abuse handed down to them by their husbands...women therefore don't trust men, and want to seek their own means of livelihood...can you really blame us?

so if anything, you should be blaming your own gender for women supposedly following the west...what a load of rubbish...


ever heard of a chauvinist Muslim?


did he?


and you would know this because your one of these men who she supposedly prounces with...fear allah and bite your tongue akhee! your sisters in Islam deserve alot more respect than to have baseless accusations thrown at them!!!

this is only your own good im not be harsh just telling the truth

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

Akhi, ur so called truth is half wrong!

[yusuf18]

Akhi, ur so called truth is half wrong!

so basicly you just admited its half true aleast you admit that

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

Of course, but u twist the truth so its not all correct. At least I admitted, you still think your all right even tho several people said so otherwise.

When will you listen and learn?

Btw I should say ur mostly wrong, but to be on the safe side I'll say half.

[yusuf18]

Of course, but u twist the truth so its not all correct. At least I admitted, you still think your all right even tho several people said so otherwise.

When will you listen and learn?

i have sister you forgot read the above posts i have admited i was wrong in some aspects

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

what is your "some?" Enlighten me. You quote a hadith thats right, but ur thoughts are incorrect. Majority of what you said not some.

[Banu_Hashim]

i have sister you forgot read the above post i have admited i was wrong in some aspects

Which aspects do you maintain that are still justifiably correct ?

[yusuf18]

what is your "some?" Enlighten me. You quote a hadith thats right, but ur thoughts are incorrect. Majority of what you said not some.

like i probs generlised to much so i was wrong but my thoughts have not changed

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

It was not just generalizations but even your own ignorant thoughts you put forth in the of Islam. Try putting these thoughts down to a scholar and see what happens. There was nothing Islamic about your thoughts, only what you would do.

[yusuf18]

It was not just generalizations but even your own ignrant thoughts you put forth in the of Islam. Try putting these thoughts down to a scholar and see what happens.

subanllah its the truth but i was wrong my generalizations but i stand by what i said becouses its acording with quran and sunnah to bad some brothers and sisters are straying

[Banu_Hashim]

Women Rights in Islam Regarding Education

The Qur'an and Hadiths of the Prophet both obligate Muslim men and women to acquire knowledge and education. It is a duty for every Muslim. For example, concerning knowledge and education the Qur'an Sura 35 Verse 28 states:
Those truly fear Allah, among His Servants, who have knowledge.

Prophet's Hadiths repeatedly emphasizes the acquirement of education and knowledge for every Muslim male and female. For example, one Hadith states that, " Seeking knowledge is a duty of every Muslim, man or woman." (Ayisha Lemu 1978: 25). Another Hadith states, " Seek knowledge from the cradle to grave." (1978:25). Another Hadith states that, " The Father, if he educates his daughter well, will enter Paradise." (The World Bank Report July 9, 1993: 25). Yet another Hadith states that, " A mother is a school. If she is educated, then a whole people are educated" (1993: 25).

In early of Islamic history there were many women scholars who had very significant roles in the Islamic world. For example Ayisha, the Prophet's wife was one of the most famous Muslim scholars. Not only was she very intelligent, she had an exceptional memory. That is why she was considered one of the most important sources of Hadith. It has been stated in some Islamic reports that the Prophet told the Muslims to go to Ayisha for guidance and learning of religious duties. The Prophet also told the Muslims to trust Ayisha's teaching and guidance( Lemu 1978:: 251).

In the Islamic world, at the beginning of Islam, there were no restrictions or prohibitions toward women to seek knowledge and education. There were many women scholars in the fields of religion, literature, music, education, and medicine. For example, a woman named Nafisa who was related to Ali, the fourth Khalif, had a vast knowledge of and was an expert on the Hadiths of the Prophet. Many famous Muslim scholars of the time, such as Imam Shafi-ai would participate in Nafisa's scholarly discourse and learn from her (1978: 251-253).

Source

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

subanllah its the truth but i was wrong my generalizations but i stand by what i said becouses its acording with quran and sunnah to bad some brothers and sisters are straying

What you said was not and will not be according to Qur'aan and Sunnah. May Allah guide you, ameen.

[yusuf18]

Source

subannalah read my post i never said a sister carnt seek islamic education infact i said i would be happy if my wife was doing that but my problemn is when sisters follow their deseirs and seek further eduaction and work and think this is up lifting them allhu mustan

[Banu_Hashim]

But it also says in the early days of Islam women flourished in other aspects of education, medicine for example. This is the example of Islam we should be following. We have in some respects become just as ignorant as were the people in the days of Jahaliyya with topics like education of Women. But it's your call, there's no point forcing you to believe something you don't want to.

Fe Amaanillah.

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

But it also says in the early days of Islam women flourished in other aspects of education, medicine for example. This is the example of Islam we should be following. We have in some respects become just as ignorant as were the people in the days of Jahaliyya with topics like education of Women. But it's your call, there's no point forcing you to believe something you don't want to.

Fe Amaanillah.

Ditto! Im gunna try and not reply to him now, going in circles! Yikes!

:sl:

[yusuf18]

Ditto! Im gunna try and not reply to him now, going in circles! Yikes!

:sl:

ok baraka feeki kalass

[Ibn Abi Ahmed]

subannalah read my post i never said a sister carnt seek islamic education infact i said i would be happy if my wife was doing that but my problemn is when sisters follow their deseirs and seek further eduaction and work and think this is up lifting them allhu mustan

Where is your proof? Provide proof from the Qur'an and Sunnah and then from the scholars that says a woman isn't allowed to get a secular education and earn money.

[Ummu Sufyaan]

:sl:

subannalah read my post i never said a sister carnt seek islamic education infact i said i would be happy if my wife was doing that but my problemn is when sisters follow their deseirs and seek further eduaction and work and think this is up lifting them allhu mustan

what on earth is wrong with that :muddlehea...what is wrong with following your desires if its something permitted? i can tell you as female, i love learning whether its secular or otherwise...i don't understand what the problem is?

and dont you men do "dunya" things which you consider uplifting as well? flips sake, go pick on them!

[Clover]

I wouldn't really care, it's her choice. I am not gonna go to her and say "stop that woman!" now, if I am wanting to get married right then, and she is too, then we could do it, and then she can go back to college the next day, and we can have our honey moon later, but really, I don't believe the guy should be the one calling the shots on when and where, I think they should do it together.

I am not a Muslim, but just wanted to put my in-put.

[kingkong]

I have been reading some of the comments in this thread and I find it rather interesting to see the different views. I for one couldn't care less about the educational qualifications of a woman, often women are forced not into pursuing education for various reasons and more often many families cannot afford to send daughters to higher education institutes.

One thing that really does bother me, is free mixing of students, allow your men to study, allow your women to study, but surely in seperate establishments?

I used to find ways to avoid walking passed females, in fact I avoided going to the library and sending my non-muslim friend to get books purely to avoid looking upon shameless girls who socialise with shameless boys.

We as Muslims need to discourage our men and women from studying in mixed establishments.

As for women working, we should again have no issues with that surely so long as it's in a halal environment. But what we see in this day and age is women who have no such shame and openly working in mixed environments. In most cases it's inexcusable, as for men, often to support their family in the west, they have no choice to work in such environments and lower their gaze, but the women have the choice.

[purple]

I have been reading some of the comments in this thread and I find it rather interesting to see the different views. I for one couldn't care less about the educational qualifications of a woman, often women are forced not into pursuing education for various reasons and more often many families cannot afford to send daughters to higher education institutes.

One thing that really does bother me, is free mixing of students, allow your men to study, allow your women to study, but surely in seperate establishments?

I used to find ways to avoid walking passed females, in fact I avoided going to the library and sending my non-muslim friend to get books purely to avoid looking upon shameless girls who socialise with shameless boys.

We as Muslims need to discourage our men and women from studying in mixed establishments.

As for women working, we should again have no issues with that surely so long as it's in a halal environment. But what we see in this day and age is women who have no such shame and openly working in mixed environments. In most cases it's inexcusable, as for men, often to support their family in the west, they have no choice to work in such environments and lower their gaze, but the women have the choice.

:sl:
Yes that right brother a singe mother such as myself has a choice. And it is completely okay for Muslim women not to be part of medical, social and private settings. I just hope people don’t ask for a Muslim women when they are seeking medical and any other advise. Shameless sisters like myself should be utterly ashamed.
:wa:

[Yassouid]

Hadith - Bukhari 1:824, Narrated Ibn 'Umar ...The Prophet said, "If your women ask permission to go to the mosque at night, allow them."

Hadith - Bukhari 1:832, Narrated Salim bin Abdullah ...My father said, "The Prophet said, 'If the wife of any one of you asks permission (to go to the mosque) do not forbid her."

Allahu A'laam, but I see these two hadiths as evidence that a women whom wishes to seek knowledge concerning Islam, should never be restricted by it from her husband.



Furthermore;

"Whosoever relieves from a believer some grief pertaining to this world, Allah will relieve from him some grief pertaining to the Hereafter. Whosoever alleviates the difficulties of a needy person who cannot pay his debt, Allah will alleviate his difficulties in both this world and the Hereafter. Whosoever conceals the faults of a Muslim, Allah will conceal his faults in this world and the Hereafter. Allah will aid a servant (of His) so long as the servant aids his brother. Whosoever follows a path to seek knowledge therein, Allah will make easy for him a path to Paradise. No people gather together in one of the houses of Allah, reciting the Book of Allah and studying it among themselves, except that tranquility descends upon them, mercy covers them, the angels surround them, and Allah makes mention of them amongst those who are in His presence. Whosoever is slowed down by his deeds will not be hastened forward by his lineage."

“If a friend among your friends errs, make seventy excuses for them. If your hearts are unable to do this, then know that the shortcoming is in your own selves…” [ibid]

We should be making excuses to how great our sisters and brothers are rather than increasing the flame by leaving sarcastic, irresponsible, responses.

Allah (saw) has taught us to swallow our anger, not to threaten each other, fight amongst one another, and follow Shaytan.

Either way everyone here knows this: so my response is:

Mashallah, if I had 50 PhD's i could not remotely match the natural intelligence Allah (saw) has given some women in my family!

[Adem Al-Albani]

Back to the original question asked:

I guess it would all matter on her major and stuff. If she is studying something that really can't benefit the family or the Ummah, I'd tell her to stop.

If she is studying something that can help the Ummah, I would be in full support of her finishing.

We need Muslimaat to be Doctors, OBGYNS, Dentists and etc. More than anything, we need Muslimaat to be good mothers and slaves to Allah who know their Deen and will pass that on to their children in the homes.

[kingkong]

:sl:
Yes that right brother a singe mother such as myself has a choice. And it is completely okay for Muslim women not to be part of medical, social and private settings. I just hope people don’t ask for a Muslim women when they are seeking medical and any other advise. Shameless sisters like myself should be utterly ashamed.
:wa:

Ws,

You being a single mother is an extreme case, we can all bring in extreme and rare cases to fight any argument, but it doesn't mean it's desirable.

I wouldn;t go to a woman for any help in the field of medicine, I would go to a male doctor. I would expect when I am married, my wife to be attended to by a female doctor in a female environment.

[أحمد]

:sl:

Education is very important; this applies to men and women. The rest is about each person's own position; if its affordable, practical and beneficial. Are there alternative means, for beneficial education? If so, maybe they're worth considering.

:wa:

[purple]

Ws,

You being a single mother is an extreme case, we can all bring in extreme and rare cases to fight any argument, but it doesn't mean it's desirable.

I wouldn;t go to a woman for any help in the field of medicine, I would go to a male doctor. I would expect when I am married, my wife to be attended to by a female doctor in a female environment.

:sl:

To be honest, I do not want to argue with you. I know at least five Muslim women who are divorcee with children and I do not appreciate being called an ‘extreme case’. Also, you cannot expect your wife to be in a female environment seeking medical treatment unless she is in a maternity ward in the west and some Muslim countries too. I do not appreciate you bringing your sisters down by suggesting they are shameless working in mixed environments, when they are the ones you seek when your wife needs help! Just a thought!
You are entitled to your opinion, but your opinion does not take into account the reality of the world or the environment you live in.
Peace
:wa:

[Yassouid]

I do not appreciate you bringing your sisters down by suggesting they are shameless working in mixed environments, when they are the ones you seek when your wife needs help!

Salaam! I do not think that KingKong was implying that every women or man who has ever walked into a library is shameless.

They could very possible be in a strictly educational environment working on a class project or a tutoring session.

There are definitely millions of locations that are much more shameful, but in some countries with separated classes and dormitories, the library is the only location where females and males mix. There are definitely people who go to the library to learn and those whom go to mingle.

Even if there is a very small number of people who are "shameless" or bad influences it is our prerogative as Muslims to avoid them (which i think is what KingKong was trying to do)!

Inshallah Allah (saw) will guide all of us away from our sins and onto and along the straight path, of those whom he has favored!

[Asiyah3]

Hopefully insha'Allah I'll marry someone who doesn't mind me studying =/. Well I'm not worried, Allah, the Merciful is with me =)

[CosmicPathos]

it depends on the nature of education she is seeking. if it is islamic education which would allow her to become a better human, then by all means sure. If I understand, getting married means you have to pay due rights to your spouses so if she is going all hardcore in studies, nerding it out till like 3 am every morning (which is fine if she wants that) :S, ignoring my rights, then I think we just should not even get married in the first place.

Regarding secular education, it also depends on the nature of type of education she is receiving. If someone is becoming an orthopedic surgeon, I'd make sure I run away from her, no matter how strong her deen is. Provided she has decided to work full time as a surgeon.

So really, it depends on the nature of the secular job.

As an example, I would want my mother to be seen by a female doctor, not a male doctor. If a kaafir female doc can provide those services then good enough, it'd be even better if an equally competent muslim female doctor could do that.

[Muezzin]

:sl:
would a brother mind a sister who is studying...i mean say he proposed and she was in the middle of a degree...would most brothers mind if she continued to finish her degree (whilst she is engaged/married)

Would I mind? Not at all. It's the hypothetical sister's right to study. This is all operating on the premise that this hypothetical person is studying a degree that I do not consider to be a Mickey Mouse degree. I would not want to marry a person studying that kind of degree.

Now, if you had asked 'Would you mind paying for a sister's degree', that's a different story.

[Beardo]

Would I mind? Not at all. It's the hypothetical sister's right to study. This is all operating on the premise that this hypothetical person is studying a degree that I do not consider to be a Mickey Mouse degree. I would not want to marry a person studying that kind of degree.

Now, if you had asked 'Would you mind paying for a sister's degree', that's a different story.

I agree. Except, I'm open to most degrees for my future spouse.

If I have the capability to pay, then I would most definitely do so insha-Allah. But at the same time, if one of the reasons for her marrying me is so that I'll pay for her education, then she can kiss her diamond ring good bye.

That was sort of rude.

But anyhow, I would not at all mind. Quite the opposite, really. At the same time, if I get married late, I wouldn't want to wait too long as I'd want to start a family etc.

But a degree is vital not only for general/common knowledge or a job, but also to raise children, I feel. Get a feel for the outside world, have an understanding, being able to relate, etc are all aspects of a good mother, yeah?

And I conclude by saying: I am grateful to Allah Ta'ala for my mommy. :inlove:

[kingkong]

By studying, particularly taking on Further and Higher Educational qualifications, both men and women go past the optimum age for marriage. Islam encourages young marriage and scientifically it's proven that offspring are healthier and psychologists say that young marriages bring more happiness to a couple and less stress.

It's great to seek education, both for males and females (in separate environments), however in most countries people are 23/24 by the time they finish and could be 26/27 or older if they complete masters or phds. That is too old to be getting married. People say there's no specific age to get married, but surely seeking such an advanced qualification is not more important than married life?

[Amoeba]

By studying, particularly taking on Further and Higher Educational qualifications, both men and women go past the optimum age for marriage. Islam encourages young marriage and scientifically it's proven that offspring are healthier and psychologists say that young marriages bring more happiness to a couple and less stress.

It's great to seek education, both for males and females (in separate environments), however in most countries people are 23/24 by the time they finish and could be 26/27 or older if they complete masters or phds. That is too old to be getting married. People say there's no specific age to get married, but surely seeking such an advanced qualification is not more important than married life?

I know they say that getting good qualifications is not required to live comfortably but in certain circumstances this simply isn't true. If, say the individual can't get a job no matter how hard they try (due to lack of experience, skills and qualifications) the only option may be to study, and don't say move because in that situation they're hardly going to be in a position to afford to move. To get married in such a situation may be a bad move because the couple would just be living in poverty.

[Muezzin]

By studying, particularly taking on Further and Higher Educational qualifications, both men and women go past the optimum age for marriage. Islam encourages young marriage and scientifically it's proven that offspring are healthier and psychologists say that young marriages bring more happiness to a couple and less stress.

It's great to seek education, both for males and females (in separate environments), however in most countries people are 23/24 by the time they finish and could be 26/27 or older if they complete masters or phds. That is too old to be getting married. People say there's no specific age to get married, but surely seeking such an advanced qualification is not more important than married life?

You know, there are people who study before marriage specifically because married life is important, and they want to provide as secure a financial foundation as possible for it.

Marriage vs Degree = false dichotomy

[kingkong]

You know, there are people who study before marriage specifically because married life is important, and they want to provide as secure a financial foundation as possible for it.

Marriage vs Degree = false dichotomy

I studied, got higher qualifications and am 25 and on the verge of marriage, I truly regret not agreeing to get married whilst I was at uni and my parents suggested it. There were girls always sending their families over to my parents but I kept saying no.

I may have struggled big time financially with only a part time job and a summber job as income, but I would have coped, Allah SWT would have aided me as he aided my friends who were married even before going to uni in the west.

It is the singlest greatest regret of my life, that I left marriage to such a late age, I've gone past physically my peak, I am no longer the handsome young man I was, well im not as handsome anyway.

I've messed up in exams, made other mistakes I am not proud of, but leaving marriage to such a late age, the single greatest regret of my life.

Please don't come out with the generic line, 25 is young, it's the ideal age for a man to get married, it's not what others think, it's what I feel.

Back to the point made by Muezzin in the above quotation, yes everyone knows the importance of marriage, but even in this day and age, people can cope, in the past where finding a job was not an issue, the woman stayed at home, if finding a high salaried job is so difficult today (and I agree it totally is) then women can contribute too.

I still stand by the original point I made, education, particularly higher education should not come in the way of marriage.

[Detritavore]

Please don't come out with the generic line, 25 is young, it's the ideal age for a man to get married, it's not what others think, it's what I feel.

Unless you plan on marrying yourself, I'm pretty sure what others-- namely inshAllah your future spouse-- think is incredibly important. And let me tell you this, I'm yet to come by any sister who considers 25 too old for a man to marry. Really, it's probably all in your head.

[nature]

It is the singlest greatest regret of my life, that I left marriage to such a late age, I've gone past physically my peak, I am no longer the handsome young man I was, well im not as handsome anyway.

25 is not late ? I know blokes that get married in their 30's even ? i even know some people that take on 3rd 4th wives in their 60's and older. Everything happens for a reason, and im sure since uni you have grown as a person.

I'm yet to come by any sister who considers 25 too old for a man to marry. Really, it's probably all in your head.

I agree. Im actually 29 and still a singleton, and i cant stand it wen people put an age on marriage, & i never did any sort of higher education, i worked from 19, did crappy jobs, it just wasnt meant to be.

getting back to the thread, i dont think there is anything wrong with a sister studying,I think most like to get it out of the way before they settle, which is why most people settle down in2 their 30's nowadays.

[Muezzin]

I studied, got higher qualifications and am 25 and on the verge of marriage, I truly regret not agreeing to get married whilst I was at uni and my parents suggested it. There were girls always sending their families over to my parents but I kept saying no.

I may have struggled big time financially with only a part time job and a summber job as income, but I would have coped, Allah SWT would have aided me as he aided my friends who were married even before going to uni in the west.

It is the singlest greatest regret of my life, that I left marriage to such a late age, I've gone past physically my peak, I am no longer the handsome young man I was, well im not as handsome anyway.

I've messed up in exams, made other mistakes I am not proud of, but leaving marriage to such a late age, the single greatest regret of my life.

Please don't come out with the generic line, 25 is young, it's the ideal age for a man to get married, it's not what others think, it's what I feel.

I appreciate that. However it is, as you say, what you feel. For your particular circumstances. Everyone is different, in terms of personality, maturity and solvency. When taking these factors and others into account, what might be an appropriate age for one person to marry may be inappropriate for another. Everyone's different.

Back to the point made by Muezzin in the above quotation, yes everyone knows the importance of marriage, but even in this day and age, people can cope, in the past where finding a job was not an issue, the woman stayed at home, if finding a high salaried job is so difficult today (and I agree it totally is) then women can contribute too.

By working? I agree, but that is a whole other can of worms. Regardless, I, personally, feel that it is best to get one's financial affairs in order before taking the step of marriage. Others may feel differently.

I still stand by the original point I made, education, particularly higher education should not come in the way of marriage.

If current students feel that higher education is coming in the way of marriage, any course of action is of course their prerogative.

[Grofica]

to get back on track with the tread... its a right that every person has to pursue and education. I understand wanting a family but with love and support all can happen. What kind of deen does that make for the person that would deny his finance or wife the opportunity to seek an education. The woman has the right to it, and the woman has a right to work as long as she can fulfill her other duties as well.

Real love is doing everything you can to make your true love happy. and if an education or a job would make them happy how could you deny that person a basic right and say you truly loved them???

[Asiyah3]

I've messed up in exams, made other mistakes I am not proud of, but leaving marriage to such a late age, the single greatest regret of my life.

Please don't come out with the generic line, 25 is young, it's the ideal age for a man to get married, it's not what others think, it's what I feel.

:sl:

I believe everything happens for a reason. Allah knows best what would have happened if you would have gotten married. It may be for the best.

[Banu_Hashim]

however in most countries people are 23/24 by the time they finish and could be 26/27 or older if they complete masters or phds. That is too old to be getting married.

Says who? You? I disagree with you completely. You'll need to provide evidence for that (23/24 is better than 26/27). It is a sunnah to get married if and when you have the means to. There is no preferred age to get married. SubhaanAllaah... RasoolAllaah (sallalAllaahu 'alayhi wa sallaam) himself was 25 when he married for the first time (not that it's particular relevant), so are you saying he was too old or bordering the cut-off age?

Marriage is not a general thing where you can make rules and regulations. It is a sacred pact between a man and woman based on love and mercy; which should be undertaken when both partners feel they are ready for this huge responsibility in life.

[Zafran]

salaam

wasnt The prophet pbuh around about 25 when he marriad Khadija (ra) who was 40? This clearly shows that marriage has no fixed perfect age.

edit - I basically repeated what Banu Hashim said. Oh well.

peace

[kingkong]

Says who? You? I disagree with you completely. You'll need to provide evidence for that (23/24 is better than 26/27). It is a sunnah to get married if and when you have the means to. There is no preferred age to get married. SubhaanAllaah... RasoolAllaah (sallalAllaahu 'alayhi wa sallaam) himself was 25 when he married for the first time (not that it's particular relevant), so are you saying he was too old or bordering the cut-off age?

Marriage is not a general thing where you can make rules and regulations. It is a sacred pact between a man and woman based on love and mercy; which should be undertaken when both partners feel they are ready for this huge responsibility in life.

I can't quote the exact hadith, but it went along the lines of "those who can afford and are mature should marry."

Here lies a major problem with modern society and many modern people and I feel Muslims in this day and age are becoming more and more vile and despicable because of not marrying when they can afford. People can afford to marry while studying, there are ways about it, however people think that having enough money to live a life of luxury should come first before marriage.

Shame on people who think money will be hard to come and shame on people who go against Islam by not having children because they think they will not have the financial means to maintain that child.

Allah SWT says do not fear having children for He will give us the means to maintain that child. I made the same mistake and had this same stupid view that I need to get my degree and get a top rate job with a very good salary before I went into marriage. It's just not right to think that you have to make sure you have so much money for marriage.

What did the Prophet say about weddings and about wives? He (PBUH) said the best ceremonies are the simplest ones, so even if you have very little money you should marry. He (PBUH) also stated in hadith (again I won't quote as I'll have to look it up), but it went along the lines of, men and women should be happy with their partners, if they find a fault they should look to find something good in that person. So if a man can only provide a 1 bedroomed small apartment which is not too fancy, the woman should be happy with even that. If they have to be stringent with the money they have so be it.

Like I said, what I feel is this way, my views do not contradict Islam or go against, but they did 2/3 years ago. Thankfully I have realised the way things should be, sadly I've lost most of my youth because of this stupid thinking "I must be able to provide a life of luxury for a woman."

You know sometimes I wish I was born into a poor family because I would be grateful for what Allah has given me and the woman I married would have been grateful for anything I had.

Here is one more true story. I know a female who continued on into further education, because she wanted to work and gain knowledge, by the time she obtained her PHD she was 28. She was incredibly intelligent and a decent woman as everyone knows, however no one proposed to her and many families rejected her there were a few reasons.

1. Most people felt she was old, which may be a ridiculous thought, but people are free to marry whom they want.

2. Many of the men were not as educated or intelligent and intimidated by her.

3. Many men feared that she studied so she could work after marriage, not just to gain knowledge but to get a high end job, so she may neglect the family and the house.


She was 31 before she married and the only man who accepted her was someone who took her as a second wife.

I'm not encouraging not studying, but I am all in favour of young marriage, we seem to have been influenced by the west too much.

[nature]

Here lies a major problem with modern society and many modern people and I feel Muslims in this day and age are becoming more and more vile and despicable because of not marrying when they can afford.

who are you to put down any muslims due to your own views ? Tbh i cant even believe you've actually put what you have.

[purple]

:sl:

What I hate about discussions such as this, is that both sides of the argument treat women like a homogenous group. We all should act, believe and breathe the same.
:wa:

[Asiyah3]

:sl:

What I hate about discussions such as this, is that both sides of the argument treat women like a homogenous group. We all should act, believe and breathe the same.
:wa:

Do you mean that they draw your life for you? ^_^

[kingkong]

who are you to put down any muslims due to your own views ? Tbh i cant even believe you've actually put what you have.

I said more and more Muslims are becoming vile and despicable. Has the Ummah ever seen such a high % of fornicators and adulterers? Were the early Muslim civilisations as outward and shameless as many (including myself) are today?

You think I'm putting down Muslims, I see it more like hoping the Muslim Ummah can go back to the way it once was.

[Muezzin]

I can't quote the exact hadith, but it went along the lines of "those who can afford and are mature should marry."

Here lies a major problem with modern society and many modern people and I feel Muslims in this day and age are becoming more and more vile and despicable because of not marrying when they can afford. People can afford to marry while studying, there are ways about it, however people think that having enough money to live a life of luxury should come first before marriage.

Working towards a good job and earning a good income to provide for a potential future family means living 'a life of luxury'?

Shame on people who think money will be hard to come and shame on people who go against Islam by not having children because they think they will not have the financial means to maintain that child.

The way you're putting your point across is actually going to discourage people from marrying. This is making it sound as if Muslims are positively forced to marry, irrelevant of other factors.

Allah SWT says do not fear having children for He will give us the means to maintain that child. I made the same mistake and had this same stupid view that I need to get my degree and get a top rate job with a very good salary before I went into marriage. It's just not right to think that you have to make sure you have so much money for marriage.

I don't see it that way. I see it as helping to provide as stable a situation as possible. You may not see it that way, which is fine.

What did the Prophet say about weddings and about wives? He (PBUH) said the best ceremonies are the simplest ones, so even if you have very little money you should marry. He (PBUH) also stated in hadith (again I won't quote as I'll have to look it up), but it went along the lines of, men and women should be happy with their partners, if they find a fault they should look to find something good in that person. So if a man can only provide a 1 bedroomed small apartment which is not too fancy, the woman should be happy with even that. If they have to be stringent with the money they have so be it.

True. I will only disagree if this hadith is being used to illustrate a line of reasoning that leads to 'Muslims must marry young, ready or not, like it or not!'

Like I said, what I feel is this way, my views do not contradict Islam or go against, but they did 2/3 years ago. Thankfully I have realised the way things should be, sadly I've lost most of my youth because of this stupid thinking "I must be able to provide a life of luxury for a woman."

You seem to be attributing your personal feelings to others. I for one do not at all think of a 'life of luxury' when talking about getting finances in order. I don't know about others. You personally may have felt that, but you are mistaken if you attribute that thinking to other individuals.

You know sometimes I wish I was born into a poor family because I would be grateful for what Allah has given me and the woman I married would have been grateful for anything I had.

Here is one more true story. I know a female who continued on into further education, because she wanted to work and gain knowledge, by the time she obtained her PHD she was 28. She was incredibly intelligent and a decent woman as everyone knows, however no one proposed to her and many families rejected her there were a few reasons.

1. Most people felt she was old, which may be a ridiculous thought, but people are free to marry whom they want.

2. Many of the men were not as educated or intelligent and intimidated by her.

3. Many men feared that she studied so she could work after marriage, not just to gain knowledge but to get a high end job, so she may neglect the family and the house.


She was 31 before she married and the only man who accepted her was someone who took her as a second wife.

If the sister was unhappy with the situation, this is sad to hear. It shows that each person has to take their circumstances into account when acting, just generally, in life as a whole.

Which brings us back to the topic of this thread.

I'm not encouraging not studying, but I am all in favour of young marriage, we seem to have been influenced by the west too much.

I think here we're starting to find some common ground. All I personally feel is that each person should marry when they genuinely feel ready, whatever age that happens to be - and if a person is simply postponing marriage because they want to (continue to) sin, that does not count as genuine unreadiness, whether the person is male or female, studying or not.

[Ansariyah]

No man is worth giving up education for.

[nature]

I said more and more Muslims are becoming vile and despicable. Has the Ummah ever seen such a high % of fornicators and adulterers? Were the early Muslim civilisations as outward and shameless as many (including myself) are today?

You think I'm putting down Muslims, I see it more like hoping the Muslim Ummah can go back to the way it once was.

:sl:

I dont think in today's world, thats ever gona happen. is it ? things have moved way on. Everyone has a right to education, some people may not feel ready in themselves, hence they delay marriage for whatever reason. Personally, i think every woman should have an education, its independance, and ive seen too many women stuck in marriages they feel unable to leave for fear of being alone/or not having anyone to look after them or being illeterate/uneducated. A woman needs to know she can survive on her own, should the worst happen. thats just the way i look at it, and the auful situations ive seen around me.

As for the sister you mentioned, just cos some1 took her as a second wife doesnt make her any less of a person. I assume she was happy with the proposal otherwise wouldnt have accepted ? I believe there is someone for everyone, and maybe that man was meant for her ? It takes a lot of strength/courage for someone to be a second wife, and i admire any woman who does that.

:wa:

[kingkong]

:sl:

I dont think in today's world, thats ever gona happen. is it ? things have moved way on. Everyone has a right to education, some people may not feel ready in themselves, hence they delay marriage for whatever reason. Personally, i think every woman should have an education, its independance, and ive seen too many women stuck in marriages they feel unable to leave for fear of being alone/or not having anyone to look after them or being illeterate/uneducated. A woman needs to know she can survive on her own, should the worst happen. thats just the way i look at it, and the auful situations ive seen around me.

As for the sister you mentioned, just cos some1 took her as a second wife doesnt make her any less of a person. I assume she was happy with the proposal otherwise wouldnt have accepted ? I believe there is someone for everyone, and maybe that man was meant for her ? It takes a lot of strength/courage for someone to be a second wife, and i admire any woman who does that.

:wa:

Salaaam.

Firstly I would like to say that You've quoted a comment I posted but you went off on a completely different tangent, one which I personally did not say anything about or have in any of my post. You argue about women's right to education, where did I say anything against that? Please read what I wrote carefully and you'll see every single point I've made has been in reference to education for both sexes.

The argument I have made is that both men and women should men and women should not delay marriage until they are physically past the peak. Men genetically peak at 23-25. Women peak slightly earlier. I have also stated that men should not delay marriage for fear of coming up short in terms of financially supporting their wives.

I am an educated man and I still found it extremely difficult to find a job, in fact for 2 years I was rejected because of lack of experience, people think education is of importance but I've seen numerous people with degrees turned down and beaten to posts by less educated men with actual work experience. There is no doubt that a degree/masters/phd stays for life and will always come of use though.

As for the second paragraph about the lady I mentioned, the point was that despite her being highly educated she was repeatedly turned down by men who felt intimidated by her. Heck I would be intimidated marrying a more educated woman as well, so I can see why she was turned down. She was ready to marry when she was 28, but had to wait 3 years, she was close to depression and suicide at one point, I know this because her mother is a good friend of my mum.

Anyway please read my comment before you suggest I am making a point which I haven't.

[nature]

The argument I have made is that both men and women should men and women should not delay marriage until they are physically past the peak. Men genetically peak at 23-25. Women peak slightly earlier. I have also stated that men should not delay marriage for fear of coming up short in terms of financially supporting their wives.

:sl:

sorry, i missed a couple of sentences off my last reply. I never went into further education, but i would recomend it to any woman, its a safety net, in case things go wrong wen that woman is married. maybe its wrong of me to think like that, but like i sed b4, ve seen loads of women, who dont have anything to fall back on, and are stuck with horrible men. at least that woman knows she can support herself/kids, if things went pear shaped. as for the geneitcally peak thing,i dunno ? if a person is mature/responsible enough at that age, then great, but nowadays, most people want worldy comforts, big house, flash car, etc etc. Ive never had that view, that a man has to provide, even if its islamic, but if a guy, should at least be able to provide a home or be able to show he can work towards one. Most sisters would be happy for that.

As for the second paragraph about the lady I mentioned, the point was that despite her being highly educated she was repeatedly turned down by men who felt intimidated by her. Heck I would be intimidated marrying a more educated woman as well, so I can see why she was turned down. She was ready to marry when she was 28, but had to wait 3 years, she was close to depression and suicide at one point, I know this because her mother is a good friend of my mum.

Thats really sad what happened to that sister. but being intimidated ? theres no real reason if you think about it, shes still a normal clever person, wouldnt this come down to insecurities that person had within themselves ? I know loads of educated women maried to people with random everyday jobs, & not high on the professional ladder. its not a competition, whos the cleverest.

:wa:

[Banu_Hashim]

Working towards a good job and earning a good income to provide for a potential future family means living 'a life of luxury'?


The way you're putting your point across is actually going to discourage people from marrying. This is making it sound as if Muslims are positively forced to marry, irrelevant of other factors.


I don't see it that way. I see it as helping to provide as stable a situation as possible. You may not see it that way, which is fine.


True. I will only disagree if this hadith is being used to illustrate a line of reasoning that leads to 'Muslims must marry young, ready or not, like it or not!'


You seem to be attributing your personal feelings to others. I for one do not at all think of a 'life of luxury' when talking about getting finances in order. I don't know about others. You personally may have felt that, but you are mistaken if you attribute that thinking to other individuals.


If the sister was unhappy with the situation, this is sad to hear. It shows that each person has to take their circumstances into account when acting, just generally, in life as a whole.

Which brings us back to the topic of this thread.


I think here we're starting to find some common ground. All I personally feel is that each person should marry when they genuinely feel ready, whatever age that happens to be - and if a person is simply postponing marriage because they want to (continue to) sin, that does not count as genuine unreadiness, whether the person is male or female, studying or not.

JazaakAllaah Khayr! I was just about tot say those exact things!

In the great scheme of life, what does it matter if you are in your early 20's, late 20's or indeed early 30's. My friend's father married in his early thirties and he has 3 children (two professionals, one married), 1 grandchild so far and is very well respected in the community. Also brother kingkong I think you are being extreme in your use of the term "life of luxury". In reality no one does this (at least not the sensible people). Sensible Muslims will be (just about) financially able (wajib at least for the husband's part), emotionally and ofcourse physically ready before they commit themselves to a marriage and I mean a real marriage that will last. Student marriage may work, I know a brother in my university married but do not blame the majority if a very young/student marriage is not for them!

It might be a good idea for the females to start their families at an early age, but that is only because the younger they are, the better chance they have of conceiving children- but again I'm only speaking very generally.

You will not be judged on how young you were when you married but rather how you spent your marriage life for however long it was.

[kingkong]

:sl:

sorry, i missed a couple of sentences off my last reply. I never went into further education, but i would recomend it to any woman, its a safety net, in case things go wrong wen that woman is married. maybe its wrong of me to think like that, but like i sed b4, ve seen loads of women, who dont have anything to fall back on, and are stuck with horrible men. at least that woman knows she can support herself/kids, if things went pear shaped. as for the geneitcally peak thing,i dunno ? if a person is mature/responsible enough at that age, then great, but nowadays, most people want worldy comforts, big house, flash car, etc etc. Ive never had that view, that a man has to provide, even if its islamic, but if a guy, should at least be able to provide a home or be able to show he can work towards one. Most sisters would be happy for that.

Thats really sad what happened to that sister. but being intimidated ? theres no real reason if you think about it, shes still a normal clever person, wouldnt this come down to insecurities that person had within themselves ? I know loads of educated women maried to people with random everyday jobs, & not high on the professional ladder. its not a competition, whos the cleverest.

Wasalaam.

Firstly I still don't understand you quoting me and then making a comment about a female's right to education. I'll repeat once again for you, AT NO POINT HAVE I SAID ANYTHING WHICH IS AGAINST A WOMAN'S RIGHT TO EDUCATION. In fact I have repeatedly referred to education as education for both and women collectively and not seperately, so could you please not quote me and then make a comment about something completely different. It paints me in a completely different view, like I'm sexist.

Secondly, yes you're right it is a person's insecurities that make them feel intimated by a more educated woman, but then again wouldn't it be wise to marry someone who is closer to your level in most aspects. Surely an intelligent man would be far more likely to get along and communicate more easily with an intelligent woman and vice versa? I do wonder why it is that highly educated men often refuse highly educated women. I'm sure you do know many less educated men married to more educated women, but it's not in the majority I'm sure.

[kingkong]

In the great scheme of life, what does it matter if you are in your early 20's, late 20's or indeed early 30's. My friend's father married in his early thirties and he has 3 children (two professionals, one married), 1 grandchild so far and is very well respected in the community. Also brother kingkong I think you are being extreme in your use of the term "life of luxury". In reality no one does this (at least not the sensible people). Sensible Muslims will be (just about) financially able (wajib at least for the husband's part), emotionally and ofcourse physically ready before they commit themselves to a marriage and I mean a real marriage that will last. Student marriage may work, I know a brother in my university married but do not blame the majority if a very young/student marriage is not for them!

It might be a good idea for the females to start their families at an early age, but that is only because the younger they are, the better chance they have of conceiving children- but again I'm only speaking very generally.

Salaam brother.

First off I must say I understand where you're coming from about age not being a deciding factor on what the outcome of a marriage will be. But the reason why we should encourage our youngsters to marry young are simple, to stop them from committing the sins that so many are guilty of. I know what the Muslim community is like, I know how vile and despicable the nature of so many young Muslims is. I also know if these young muslims had access to something halal, it would 1. make them happier and 2. save them from sinning.

People can marry whenever they want and yes there are no restrictions on age, but I see too often people put back marriage because they want to be financially secure. Again that is fine and wise, but isn't the Holy Prophet PBUH the wisest of all men? He said he of you who has the means and can afford should marry. How many times I got to repeat this hadith, what does it mean, if you can afford, even if it's a low class life get married.

So many Muslims here are trying to argue for this and for that, but the Holy Prophet PBUH himself said if you can afford and have the means get married. But what is the excuse we hear time and time again, I will struggle to support my partner, or the man does not have enough money, he can only afford a 2 room apartment etc.

Everyone keeps coming up with the argument, financial stability is crucial, but I don't buy it for one sec. I have seen several members of my family marry young and in extreme poverty but survive and later flourish and their wives and children are so grateful and happy. I know my aunty and uncle married when they were 16/18 and he was so poor that he used to wear ripped clothes to work and she didn't have new dishes for guests etc. They used broken and worn out plates etc. They also had 7 kids, they were so poor and people said they shouldn't have married then. But the elders were wise, wiser than I can ever hope to be, they said the Holy Prophet recommended to marry when you can afford. Over time, Allah blessed them, they lived happily and are now living a comfortable life. It's common all over the world, everywhere and yet so many Muslims think they cannot cope with these little shortcomings and I know you won't like me saying this, but they hide because this excuse of needing to be stable.

Another point made is about being ready, now there is a huge difference between a 14 yr old and 20yr old in terms of mentality, but is there a huge differencve between a 20 yr old and a 25 yr old? Or a 20 yr old and a 30 yr old? In most cases people don't change much once they become an adult and most people again say they're not ready, but to be honest they won't be that different in their mentality and maturity.

As for the final point you made about females marrying young, they say a teenage girl (scientifically proven) has the highest chance of getting pregnant and giving birth successfully, a sure sign that Allah SWT created human beings to function this way?

Anyways I'm done in this thread, I know if and when I become a father, I'll make **** sure that I don't make the mistake for my kids that I did for myself, which was to delay marriage for the lame excuse of "finishing education and becoming financially secure".

Allah Hafiz

As Salaam U aLAIKUM.

[Banu_Hashim]

Salaam brother.

First off I must say I understand where you're coming from about age not being a deciding factor on what the outcome of a marriage will be. But the reason why we should encourage our youngsters to marry young are simple, to stop them from committing the sins that so many are guilty of. I know what the Muslim community is like, I know how vile and despicable the nature of so many young Muslims is. I also know if these young muslims had access to something halal, it would 1. make them happier and 2. save them from sinning.

People can marry whenever they want and yes there are no restrictions on age, but I see too often people put back marriage because they want to be financially secure. Again that is fine and wise, but isn't the Holy Prophet PBUH the wisest of all men? He said he of you who has the means and can afford should marry. How many times I got to repeat this hadith, what does it mean, if you can afford, even if it's a low class life get married.

So many Muslims here are trying to argue for this and for that, but the Holy Prophet PBUH himself said if you can afford and have the means get married. But what is the excuse we hear time and time again, I will struggle to support my partner, or the man does not have enough money, he can only afford a 2 room apartment etc.

Everyone keeps coming up with the argument, financial stability is crucial, but I don't buy it for one sec. I have seen several members of my family marry young and in extreme poverty but survive and later flourish and their wives and children are so grateful and happy. I know my aunty and uncle married when they were 16/18 and he was so poor that he used to wear ripped clothes to work and she didn't have new dishes for guests etc. They used broken and worn out plates etc. They also had 7 kids, they were so poor and people said they shouldn't have married then. But the elders were wise, wiser than I can ever hope to be, they said the Holy Prophet recommended to marry when you can afford. Over time, Allah blessed them, they lived happily and are now living a comfortable life. It's common all over the world, everywhere and yet so many Muslims think they cannot cope with these little shortcomings and I know you won't like me saying this, but they hide because this excuse of needing to be stable.

Another point made is about being ready, now there is a huge difference between a 14 yr old and 20yr old in terms of mentality, but is there a huge differencve between a 20 yr old and a 25 yr old? Or a 20 yr old and a 30 yr old? In most cases people don't change much once they become an adult and most people again say they're not ready, but to be honest they won't be that different in their mentality and maturity.

As for the final point you made about females marrying young, they say a teenage girl (scientifically proven) has the highest chance of getting pregnant and giving birth successfully, a sure sign that Allah SWT created human beings to function this way?

Anyways I'm done in this thread, I know if and when I become a father, I'll make **** sure that I don't make the mistake for my kids that I did for myself, which was to delay marriage for the lame excuse of "finishing education and becoming financially secure".

Allah Hafiz

As Salaam U aLAIKUM.

Wa alaikum asalaam akhee,

You have to take today's society into account. Nowadays it is impractical to get married before you can maintain a roof over your head, as well as a family, bills etc. I appreciate your family members did it at 16/18, but that's an exception. Especially in western society for young Muslims. It's not your typical couple. You might not buy the financial thing, but it's a reality young people need to realise sooner or later. Education might not be for everyone... all the same, a job is required... and you need to get up on your own two feet - however hard it may be. That requires money. At the time of the prophet (sallalAllahu 'alayhi wa sallam) a man could marry a women with memorised Qur'aan as mahr and live with her in his mud-clay house straight away, alhamdulillah. But we have to adapt to the 21st century that we live in and take responsibility and at the end of the day, it's not our fault (that we live in this era)... there's nothing we can do about it,... except deal with it, it's qadr.

Allahu 'Alam. I do not know whether a 20 year old is psychologically on the same level as a 30 year old. Age is not a crucial factor as far as I am concerned. If you are 21/22 and are earning a salary, then I say:alhamdulillah, marry! Why are you waiting?! If however, you are 24/5 still doing a masters/PhD and only have enough money to support your studies for the moment, then you might have to wait a little while.

Yes, I agree Allaah 'azza wa jall made humans healthier at young age for a reason, especially so for women which is why many husbands are older than their wives because it is their responsibility to get a job and earn (and studying may be a means to get a job).

Parents can support their children and their spouses too, that is an option - it depends on an individual's circumstanes. I know when I have children and they grow up I would love to assist them financially any way I can.

Wasalaam, Fee Amaanillah.

[Musalman]

I would trust her.

[nature]

:sl:


whats with the anger ? Its good to debate, stop taking everything personal and chill out. I was making a point that i think further education is important for women thats it, cos of the situations ive seen around me. you can disagree thats fine.

But the reason why we should encourage our youngsters to marry young are simple, to stop them from committing the sins that so many are guilty of. I know what the Muslim community is like, I know how vile and despicable the nature of so many young Muslims is. I also know if these young muslims had access to something halal, it would 1. make them happier and 2. save them from sinning.

your making out getting youngsters getting married early will prevent them from sleeping around ? so it comes down to sex ? I know people that have married young, " just for show to make things halal" yet there not ready, or mature enough to understand the whole sacred bond of marriage.

Everyone keeps coming up with the argument, financial stability is crucial, but I don't buy it for one sec.

Course its an important factor. if you cant support yourself, how can you support a wife ?

Another point made is about being ready, now there is a huge difference between a 14 yr old and 20yr old in terms of mentality, but is there a huge differencve between a 20 yr old and a 25 yr old? Or a 20 yr old and a 30 yr old? In most cases people don't change much once they become an adult and most people again say they're not ready, but to be honest they won't be that different in their mentality and maturity.

I disagree. maybe years back, people could get married young in their teens, at least they knew the concept of marriage, the importance of it. Nowdays they treat it like a joke. half my friends are divorced, married in their teens and got messed around. none of their ex husbands, had the maturity to understand what there were getting into.

As for the final point you made about females marrying young, they say a teenage girl (scientifically proven) has the highest chance of getting pregnant and giving birth successfully, a sure sign that Allah SWT created human beings to function this way?

Women are able to have babies in later life also, with allah's will anything can happen.

Anyways I'm done in this thread, I know if and when I become a father, I'll make **** sure that I don't make the mistake for my kids that I did for myself, which was to delay marriage for the lame excuse of "finishing education and becoming financially secure".

I dont get why your being so hard on yourself ? everything happens for a reason. its qadr.
:wa:

[purple]

Do you mean that they draw your life for you? ^_^

:sl:

Did I say that? No they don’t.
I personally don’t see why it is brothers’ business whether I still am in education or not unless he is paying for it.
This whole thread is so retarded. It doesn’t recognise that women are individuals so one rule fits all does not work.
Whether the individual is at work or education or home is entirely up to her and then she should find husband who agrees with the decisions she made. I think sisters should have the options and it should not be taken away. I think this decision should be made before marriage without any brothers’ involvement.
Then if they were to meet someone who doesn’t agree, I don’t think she should comprise. She should move on, and put her faith in Allah(swt) to find someone who is more compatible.
It is the same for the brothers, whatever career or path they take should not be determined by any sisters' opinion. So I don’t agree with pressure being placed on brothers to take the higher education route either.
:wa:

[Asiyah3]

:sl:

Did I say that? No they don’t.

:wa:
I never assummed so. Just wanted further detail.

I personally don’t see why it is brothers’ business whether I still am in education or not unless he is paying for it.
This whole thread is so retarded. It doesn’t recognise that women are individuals so one rule fits all does not work.
Whether the individual is at work or education or home is entirely up to her and then she should find husband who agrees with the decisions she made. I think sisters should have the options and it should not be taken away. I think this decision should be made before marriage without any brothers’ involvement.
Then if they were to meet someone who doesn’t agree, I don’t think she should comprise. She should move on, and put her faith in Allah(swt) to find someone who is more compatible.
It is the same for the brothers, whatever career or path they take should not be determined by any sisters' opinion. So I don’t agree with pressure being placed on brothers to take the higher education route either.
:wa:

Anyhow, I agree with what you're saying (except for the part about this thread being retarted (the topic maybe). I admit it's something I've at least thought about at some point back).

:w:

[flowergarden]

Salaam sister,
I have a friend married, her husband told her to finish school even though they were married. So some men want houuse wife. while some love the fact their wife is gaining her education! :)

[Perseveranze]

salaam

wasnt The prophet pbuh around about 25 when he marriad Khadija (ra) who was 40? This clearly shows that marriage has no fixed perfect age.

edit - I basically repeated what Banu Hashim said. Oh well.

peace

It's unfortunate to say this, but even in the Prophet(pbuh)'s time, this marraige was extremely "odd"/rare. And in today's society, it's no different. I wish people could follow the example of the Prophet(pbuh), but sadly we know this doesn't happen and age discrimination is frequent in today's world.