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AnonymousPoster
06-11-2009, 07:39 AM
:sl: may allah swt reward you for all the advice you all give on the advice session. i have a problem i have a temper and suffered from depression. now i know you might think of course allah swt loves you. i am believe in him, the prophet peace be upon and the day of judgement. i have lost people close to me because of my `negativity` people have prayer istakarah which apparently revealed not to be my friend. if Allah swt loves me why does he give others sign to stay away from me? I am now not only depressed but alone as well. is he trying to make me stronger? i feel very very alone, i get so lonely. even if u dont reply please me dua for me. i know i am not perfect and i am partly at fault for people leaving me but i also possess good qualities. i cry for no reason at times. and feel very sad.
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Snowflake
06-11-2009, 01:34 PM
Assalam alaykum,

Are you regular in salah? Salah is the first of the obligatory acts you will be questioned about. But the benefits of salah aren't only for the hereafter. Salah helps to keep one away from sins. If you pray attentively, it also balances your emotions and relaxes the mind. You should also make lots of dikhr and recite al Quran as much as you can as there is healing in it and Allah, subhana wa ta 'ala has told us that it is in His rememberence that we find peace. InshaAllah, as you start feeling stronger and purer spiritually, you will feel more positive and confident about everything. Once you, feel positive in general, people will feel more comfortable around you.

The thing is, negative people are draining. Being around them makes a person feel tired as it saps their energy. People who are negative are seen as 'toxic' by psychologists. That should stress the impact negative people have on others. Imagine you are outside of your body and can see yourself and how you behave. Imagine hearing the negative comments and the lack of enthusiasm. Ask yourself. would you like to be around yourself for very long?

Do something in life. Be a go-getter. Who cares if you fail. At least you'll have tried. At the end of the day, what is there to lose? The whole world is there. A million and one things to do. Don't waste your life doing nothing. Doing something for others is also doing something for yourself.
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- IqRa -
06-11-2009, 02:14 PM
^ Nice reply mashallah
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AnonymousPoster
06-11-2009, 02:35 PM
Originally Posted by Scents of Jannah
Assalam alaykum,

Are you regular in salah? Salah is the first of the obligatory acts you will be questioned about. But the benefits of salah aren't only for the hereafter. Salah helps to keep one away from sins. If you pray attentively, it also balances your emotions and relaxes the mind. You should also make lots of dikhr and recite al Quran as much as you can as there is healing in it and Allah, subhana wa ta 'ala has told us that it is in His rememberence that we find peace. InshaAllah, as you start feeling stronger and purer spiritually, you will feel more positive and confident about everything. Once you, feel positive in general, people will feel more comfortable around you.

The thing is, negative people are draining. Being around them makes a person feel tired as it saps their energy. People who are negative are seen as 'toxic' by psychologists. That should stress the impact negative people have on others. Imagine you are outside of your body and can see yourself and how you behave. Imagine hearing the negative comments and the lack of enthusiasm. Ask yourself. would you like to be around yourself for very long?

Do something in life. Be a go-getter. Who cares if you fail. At least you'll have tried. At the end of the day, what is there to lose? The whole world is there. A million and one things to do. Don't waste your life doing nothing. Doing something for others is also doing something for yourself.

The bits highlighted is NOT very good advice at all. You will only make him/her feel worse. Do you think 'negative' people WANT to be negatve? The fact that 'anonymous' has admitted and accepted that he/she is depressed and having a negative affect on others which is great BUT you have to be very careful with when speaking to depressed people.


Maybe the people around this person are very optimistic which is also very good of course, but that might not always have a good affect on the person who is negative/depressed. They just want someone to understand what they're feeling and what they're going through, not people who brush them to the side.

Anonymous - the people who have turned away from you, are not very good people in my opinion, they should be there for you through thick and thin no matter what your mood is like. They're not worthy of being part of your life if thats what they do, I'm sorry but they sound heartless.

Please make sure you don't miss or delay your salah, wake up in the last third of the night and make sincere dua, Allah WILL listen. You have to be patient, as hard as it may seem, you HAVE to do it, what else can you do? You have to believe that Allah's help will come one day. Be in this life or the next.

I'm not going to pretend like others and say oh don't worry life will get better blah blah blah, I don't know that for sure and they don;t know that either, but some people just like to make others feel better by saying things like that even though they haven't got a clue. Only Allah knows. Some people suffer a great deal in they're lives, but it's for their own good and they will only see the reason behind it in the next life. Some people get relieved of their hardships sometime in this life, but then another calamity befalls them, again this is for their own good.

Don't ever lose faith in Allah and never give up on dua. :)
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Snowflake
06-11-2009, 04:14 PM
The bits highlighted is NOT very good advice at all. You will only make him/her feel worse. Do you think 'negative' people WANT to be negatve? The fact that 'anonymous' has admitted and accepted that he/she is depressed and having a negative affect on others which is great BUT you have to be very careful with when speaking to depressed people.
How do you know for sure, the O.P. will feel worse? I think this is exactly why, some people some people never see why they have problems. Everyone around them treads on egg-shells scared to tell them the truth. No one is going to break with being told the truth. I'm not insensitive to other people's feelings but sometimes, a person needs to be shown the mirror.. I too suffer from depression. More than you will ever know. But I fight it constantly to stay on top. I am forever pushing myself. If I am advising something, it is because I sincerely believe it to be good for that person. The blessing isn't in whether anyone agrees with my advice or not but in its sincerity. And I hope Allah makes it beneficial for the O.P. Sometimes, it is the bitter tasting medicine that heals.

We have threads with pages and pages of 'nice' advice for people in similar situations, but either the O.P stops replying and we are left wondering what became of them. Or, they are still in the same situation months down the line. Maybe, lots of people won't like my way of saying things. But, Im not going to apologise or change it. You don't have to 'sweet' to be sincere.

Cheerios,

Btw, good advice to O.P :D
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جوري
06-11-2009, 04:29 PM
To the OP how does istikhara prayer work in your opinion?

I think your friend was just not a good fit for you.. sometimes people don't get along, and it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you as a person..

I have read somewhere and Allah swt knows best that khalid ibn ilwaleed and omar ibn ilkhtab were always at odds.. can you imagine sa7abas who are promised paradise at odds with each other?
it is a personalty thing, like magnets... I wouldn't take it personally.. how do you know just the same, that Allah swt doesn't love you so much, that he kept this person away from you because YOU deserve a better friend?

:w:
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ahmed_indian
06-11-2009, 04:41 PM
may Allah help you bro/sis.
Reply

Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн
06-11-2009, 04:49 PM
Originally Posted by Scents of Jannah
Assalam alaykum,

Are you regular in salah? Salah is the first of the obligatory acts you will be questioned about. But the benefits of salah aren't only for the hereafter. Salah helps to keep one away from sins. If you pray attentively, it also balances your emotions and relaxes the mind. You should also make lots of dikhr and recite al Quran as much as you can as there is healing in it and Allah, subhana wa ta 'ala has told us that it is in His rememberence that we find peace. InshaAllah, as you start feeling stronger and purer spiritually, you will feel more positive and confident about everything. Once you, feel positive in general, people will feel more comfortable around you.

The thing is, negative people are draining. Being around them makes a person feel tired as it saps their energy. People who are negative are seen as 'toxic' by psychologists. That should stress the impact negative people have on others. Imagine you are outside of your body and can see yourself and how you behave. Imagine hearing the negative comments and the lack of enthusiasm. Ask yourself. would you like to be around yourself for very long?

Do something in life. Be a go-getter. Who cares if you fail. At least you'll have tried. At the end of the day, what is there to lose? The whole world is there. A million and one things to do. Don't waste your life doing nothing. Doing something for others is also doing something for yourself.
There is nothing wrong with this post whatsoever. We shouldn't sugar coat things if we want to give sincere advice. I dont see whats mean about her post...

In Islam, we know the kind of people you hang around with, do affect you.


:sl:
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Lamees
06-11-2009, 05:35 PM
Assalamo alaykum,
u need to know that everything happens to u is good inshallah coz Allah swt is "hakeem" ..
maybe u don't know why things happen that way,but make sure that it happen for a good reason inshAllah..It could be a message from Allah..maybe he swt wants u to get closer to him..

i feel very very alone, i get so lonely.
Allah swt is always with u so u can never be lonely.. :)
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AnonymousPoster
06-11-2009, 06:24 PM
:sl: jazakallah khair to everyone. Scent of Jannah jazkallah khair sister is funny because it took people leaving me to realise that i need to change, you never know what you got until they gone, however i have always been by people side though thick and thin so i just expected the same.

Anon jazkallah khair for the advice i though it was a bit heartless, funnily enough i am now closer to Allah swt. lol isnt it funny? I am alone dont have any friends yet i am slowly getting my iman back. Allah swt does love me maybe it took her leaving me to make me a stronger person?

Gossamer no sis we clicked we were friends for 6 years thats why is hard i feel unappreciated but Allah swt knows best.

Lamees i think he does.

LoL guys i am not this horrible negative person i have many good qualities to me but unfortunetly people over looked it and concentrated on the negative thanks to my depression. Allah swt knows best.

I sended this sister a text asking for forgiveness and quote Surah Al noor to remind that Allah swt forgives so should we. she didnt reply but ALHAMDULLAH i am glad i asked for forgiveness.
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Tony
06-11-2009, 06:33 PM
^^ Subhan Allah wa Alhamdulillah. Beautiful:D
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glo
06-11-2009, 06:40 PM
Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
I sended this sister a text asking for forgiveness and quote Surah Al noor to remind that Allah swt forgives so should we. she didnt reply but ALHAMDULLAH i am glad i asked for forgiveness.
That's wonderful! I hope your gesture is received in the spirit in which is it sent - with humility, friendship and forgiveness. :)
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Jafari_4_Life
06-11-2009, 08:39 PM
Salam Alikom,

Your post shows how depressed you are; however, what you fail to see in my opinion is your insight and your progress! You have not only successfully identified your problem( negativity ) admitted your current state ( depression ); this is half the fight...

You also spoke of times where you cry without reason and your loneliness; in order to end that i suggest you join some club(s), where you can release that negative energy by either hitting a dummy( if you do martial arts ), or express your emotions in paintings( if you take art classes ). The latter will enable you to release your energy in a health and productive manner instead of spending the whole day in some dark room alone. I know this because I have been where you are and i can confidently say it ends. Another benefit is that you will have the chance to make new friends and maybe that can lead to other healthy social activities; which will eventually reveal to you that theres alot to live for and not much time to waste it on depression.

After releasing your energy it is very important to meditate; since you are a muslim I will assume that the importance of worship is already established; but just to emphasize do as other brothers and sisters have advised: remember to pray 5 times and do it with all your heart, night time is time where it is easy to get depressed because you are alone, in a state where it encourages you to submit to your emotions; but you should used that time in Salat Al Lyl where you have a chance to 'open up' to Allah ( SWT ). Before you pray Fajir, read at least 5 pages of the Holy Koran because there is cure in it as someone earlier mentioned; especially for 'spiritual dieases'.

You have also asked why Allah ( SWT ) has showed signs in which point to or tell people to leave you. I am not God but i will try my best to show His divine wisdom on this issue. Maybe He recognizes the limits of your friends and they may not be the right people to solve you problem, maybe He wants you to learn not to be negative & make you stronger by making endure this trial. Maybe you are dragging your friends down and endangering them spiritually. Maybe God has chosen to punish you now rather than in the after life due to His infinite mercy, wisdom & LOVE FOR YOU.

I hope I have helped you, keep me updated with your situation & status as I may be able to offer even more inshallah.

Peace
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AnonymousPoster
06-11-2009, 09:01 PM
Originally Posted by Jafari_4_Life
Salam Alikom,

Your post shows how depressed you are; however, what you fail to see in my opinion is your insight and your progress! You have not only successfully identified your problem( negativity ) admitted your current state ( depression ); this is half the fight...

You also spoke of times where you cry without reason and your loneliness; in order to end that i suggest you join some club(s), where you can release that negative energy by either hitting a dummy( if you do martial arts ), or express your emotions in paintings( if you take art classes ). The latter will enable you to release your energy in a health and productive manner instead of spending the whole day in some dark room alone. I know this because I have been where you are and i can confidently say it ends. Another benefit is that you will have the chance to make new friends and maybe that can lead to other healthy social activities; which will eventually reveal to you that theres alot to live for and not much time to waste it on depression.

After releasing your energy it is very important to meditate; since you are a muslim I will assume that the importance of worship is already established; but just to emphasize do as other brothers and sisters have advised: remember to pray 5 times and do it with all your heart, night time is time where it is easy to get depressed because you are alone, in a state where it encourages you to submit to your emotions; but you should used that time in Salat Al Lyl where you have a chance to 'open up' to Allah ( SWT ). Before you pray Fajir, read at least 5 pages of the Holy Koran because there is cure in it as someone earlier mentioned; especially for 'spiritual dieases'.

You have also asked why Allah ( SWT ) has showed signs in which point to or tell people to leave you. I am not God but i will try my best to show His divine wisdom on this issue. Maybe He recognizes the limits of your friends and they may not be the right people to solve you problem, maybe He wants you to learn not to be negative & make you stronger by making endure this trial. Maybe you are dragging your friends down and endangering them spiritually. Maybe God has chosen to punish you now rather than in the after life due to His infinite mercy, wisdom & LOVE FOR YOU.

I hope I have helped you, keep me updated with your situation & status as I may be able to offer even more inshallah.

Peace
:sl:Jazkllah khair. Allah swt knows best. I tend to rely on people for emotional support I guess i have to be strong now and rely on Allah swt. I am hurt but alhamdullah getting stronger. may Allah swt reward you all for your effort.
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Eric H
06-11-2009, 10:32 PM
Greetings and peace be with you AnonymousGender;

Find ten things to thank God for today, you could start off by thanking God for each of the helpful people on this forum. Repeat this every day, look for ten things to be thankful to God for; as you get into the habit of thanking God for all the good things, you start to look at life in a more positive way. And believe with confidence that…

You will never look into the eyes of anyone who does not matter to God.

That also applies when you look in the mirror

In the spirit of praying for an inner peace that surpasses all understanding.

Eric
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جوري
06-11-2009, 11:11 PM
Originally Posted by AnonymousGender

Gossamer no sis we clicked we were friends for 6 years thats why is hard i feel unappreciated but Allah swt knows best.

.

:sl:

my childhood friend who is Russian and Muslim by birth, though her mother divorced her father, they turned jews/atheists was the dearest, closest thing to my heart, I even begged my parents that she come with me on vacation to my home country which she did.. you know what I was her friend for 17 years.. and let her go, I think if she were half as wonderful as you're I'd have felt awful about losing that friendship.. now that I am older and just getting past how hurtful she was to me toward the end of our friendship, I think it is a simple 'We grew apart''

Now, I can't even compare this to your case, since even a courtesy call forgiveness wouldn't have even crossed her mind.. I am only writing you this to drown the effect of 6 whole years.. indeed you might consider, that you are the better person and Allah swt wants better for you.. perhaps your mind can't conceive why... relationships aren't always duckiee, sometimes you go through a downward spiral.. when you do then you'll find out who your real friends are.. real friends aren't fair weathered since life isn't fair weathered.. any relationship is a commitment, this particular friend simply wasn't committed to you..

perhaps you were at fault, perhaps the friend was, however, we are created in a state where we always have a chance to start anew, so how about you let this be the dawn of a new day?

I'll gladly be your friend and I mean that sincerely :D
my PM is open if you desire to talk..

:w:
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Snowflake
06-12-2009, 10:03 AM
Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
:sl: jazakallah khair to everyone. Scent of Jannah jazkallah khair sister is funny because it took people leaving me to realise that i need to change, you never know what you got until they gone, however i have always been by people side though thick and thin so i just expected the same.
In a way sis, if these things didn't happen to us, we'd never realise that the only one we can rely on totally is Allah subhana wa ta'la. When I remember all those people who have wronged me, I see that their actions made me realise how fickle man is and that makes me closer to Allah. No matter how much you do for them, they never think twice before wronging you. Very few friendships stand the test of time. A very good friend of mine, who was related to my best friend but had fallen out with her, accused me of doing blackmajic on her. Her logic? That when she fell out with my best friend, I hadn't visited her in those days! I didn't even know they'd fallen out as I was in one of my periods of 'hibernation' and it was pure coincidence that I hadn't contacted her. It hurt so bad, I went to see her, but she said she asked a fortune-teller and he said me and my best friend had done black majic on her. It's so absurd, that I have to laugh. I dealt with the hurt by talking some sense into myself and telling myself that she is just not worth my friendship. Life is an on-going learning process and at this stage, I have learnt well that, no matter how reliable, trustworthy and sincere someone may seem, they are still not infallible and can make mistakes anytime. Me including. Which goes to open our eyes and see that only and only Allah is Perfect. And at the end of the day, He is all that matters.


Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
:sl:Jazkllah khair. Allah swt knows best. I tend to rely on people for emotional support I guess i have to be strong now and rely on Allah swt. I am hurt but alhamdullah getting stronger. may Allah swt reward you all for your effort.
MashaAllah sis. It's good to hear you saying that. That's all you need to do sis. May Allah be your friend always. Ameen <3 :statisfie
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AnonymousPoster
06-12-2009, 11:23 AM
:sl: She replied to my text saying that i am a sicko who shouldnt quote Allah swt words to suit me. I am evil..horrible..jelous..muslims should stay awat from me, Ya Allah swt. anyways you get the picture, very hurtful comments. When i asked for forgiveness it was from my heart I swear by Allah swt.
I ignored it did not text back. I am worried that she might try to spread negative things about me to other sisters.
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- IqRa -
06-12-2009, 11:29 AM
U dont need people like that - why dont u talk to the people who care about u, rather than going after the people who dont give a c.r.a.p
why dont u talk to the people who want to know how u r, want to understand how u feel, want to help u
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Tony
06-12-2009, 11:31 AM
Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
:sl: She replied to my text saying that i am a sicko who shouldnt quote Allah swt words to suit me. I am evil..horrible..jelous..muslims should stay awat from me, Ya Allah swt. anyways you get the picture, very hurtful comments. When i asked for forgiveness it was from my heart I swear by Allah swt.
I ignored it did not text back. I am worried that she might try to spread negative things about me to other sisters.
You are the righteous one brother, Dont let the response depress you, you only doing what Allah requires of you and your intention is clear. Make dua for her and move on
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AnonymousPoster
06-12-2009, 11:31 AM
Originally Posted by E.E.
U dont need people like that - why dont u talk to the people who care about u, rather than going after the people who dont give a c.r.a.p
why dont u talk to the people who want to know how u r, want to understand how u feel, want to help u
I know I guess so. I only sended her that text because i didnt want to die knowing i wronged someone thats why i apologised and quoted Allah swt words. But i understand what you mean. Alhamdullah I am going to move on.
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IbnAbdulHakim
06-12-2009, 11:44 AM
people have prayed istikhara to leave you?

MUSLIM people?


prayin to leave a brother/sister in need?


what the...


YOUR BETTER OFF WITHOUT THEM!!!


chin up, inshAllah things'll get better!


you need none but Allah :)



Assalamu Alaikum
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AnonymousPoster
06-12-2009, 11:51 AM
:sl: Jazkallah khair. I have to be strong and rely on Allah swt, he will always be there for me. I was only worried about her spreading things about me. But i guess Allah swt is very fair.
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IbnAbdulHakim
06-12-2009, 11:52 AM
dont guess, KNOW it :D coz its true !!!!
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AnonymousPoster
06-12-2009, 11:55 AM
Originally Posted by Fighting4Iman
dont guess, KNOW it :D coz its true !!!!
iS true Alhamdullah. Jzkallah khair.
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Snowflake
06-12-2009, 01:24 PM
Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
:sl: She replied to my text saying that i am a sicko who shouldnt quote Allah swt words to suit me. I am evil..horrible..jelous..muslims should stay awat from me, Ya Allah swt. anyways you get the picture, very hurtful comments. When i asked for forgiveness it was from my heart I swear by Allah swt.
I ignored it did not text back. I am worried that she might try to spread negative things about me to other sisters.
No problem sis! That deed of hers has earned you favours from Allah ta 'ala and she has lost out. If she does spread rumours about you, some of her deeds will be added to your account. People didn't even refrain from making accusations against Aisha (ra), then who are we. So don't worry. May Allah have mercy on her. Ameen.
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AnonymousPoster
06-12-2009, 01:56 PM
Originally Posted by Scents of Jannah
No problem sis! That deed of hers has earned you favours from Allah ta 'ala and she has lost out. If she does spread rumours about you, some of her deeds will be added to your account. People didn't even refrain from making accusations against Aisha (ra), then who are we. So don't worry. May Allah have mercy on her. Ameen.
Ameen. Jzkallah khair sis. May Allah swt reward you all for taking time out to help me. Some of the things I said to her were true (secrets ) thats why I am worried you dont want people to know your secrets. I will not worry anymore like you said Allah swt knows best.
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Snowflake
06-12-2009, 07:49 PM
Wa iyyaki sis, hamdulillah

Some of the things I said to her were true (secrets ) thats why I am worried you dont want people to know your secrets.
Of course not sis. Don't even worry about that. Allah's help is with you. :statisfie Perhaps that's why I found this dua for someone else a couple of weeks ago and remembered it now. InshaAllah keep reciting it and Allah will protect you from all kinds of harm. Ameen.


What to say if you fear people may harm you


Allaahummak-fineehim bimaa shi'ta. (O Allah, suffice (i.e. protect) me against them however You wish.)Reference: Muslim 4/2300.


http://www.islamawareness.net/Dua/Fortress/039.html
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AnonymousPoster
06-12-2009, 08:37 PM
Originally Posted by Scents of Jannah
Wa iyyaki sis, hamdulillah


Of course not sis. Don't even worry about that. Allah's help is with you. :statisfie Perhaps that's why I found this dua for someone else a couple of weeks ago and remembered it now. InshaAllah keep reciting it and Allah will protect you from all kinds of harm. Ameen.


What to say if you fear people may harm you


Allaahummak-fineehim bimaa shi'ta. (O Allah, suffice (i.e. protect) me against them however You wish.)Reference: Muslim 4/2300.


http://www.islamawareness.net/Dua/Fortress/039.html
:sl: Jzkallah khair for it sis. Going to memorise it InshAllah. May Allah swt reward you.
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جوري
06-12-2009, 11:45 PM
got to tell you, if someone came to me spreading rumors about others i.e (backbiting) ghyeba, nameema etc. not only would I not believe what they say, I'd really frown upon them.. You can't allege to be a good Muslim then eat your brother's flesh, which is exactly what nameema and ghyeba are likened to.. eating your brother's flesh

so what have you to worry about, if your friend does said things, not only is s/he a BAD MUSLIM, but they will harm you none since Allah swt will take their good deeds and give it to you instead...

just close this chapter of your life and start anew.. don't look back, looking back won'y fix anything for you.. I speak from experience.. you'll spend years debarred from your life of your own choosing and what a sad way that is to spend one's precious life...

and Allah swt knows best

:w:
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AnonymousPoster
06-12-2009, 11:53 PM
Originally Posted by Gossamer skye
got to tell you, if someone came to me spreading rumors about others i.e (backbiting) ghyeba, nameema etc. not only would I not believe what they say, I'd really frown upon them.. You can't allege to be a good Muslim then eat your brother's flesh, which is exactly what nameema and ghyeba are likened to.. eating your brother's flesh

so what have you to worry about, if your friend does said things, not only is s/he a BAD MUSLIM, but they will harm you none since Allah swt will take their good deeds and give it to you instead...

just close this chapter of your life and start anew.. don't look back, looking back won'y fix anything for you.. I speak from experience.. you'll spend years debarred from your life of your own choosing and what a sad way that is to spend one's precious life...

and Allah swt knows best

:w:
:sl: May Allah swt reward you. In times of need you were all there, Ya Allah swt jzkallah khair. I am not worried or sad anymore. I am going to improve on my deen. You are correct I need to close this chapter, whatever people might say will not harm me inshAllah I am going to put my trust in Allahswt. This dunya is NOTHING is cursed. What I am going to work on is my deen we could die any moment I should be worried about the punishment of the grave hell fire the day of judgement not humans and their whispers and thoughts.
May Allah swt protect us all from the punished of the grave and hell fire and grant you Jannah.
Reply

جوري
06-13-2009, 12:04 AM
Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
:sl: May Allah swt reward you. In times of need you were all there, Ya Allah swt jzkallah khair. I am not worried or sad anymore. I am going to improve on my deen. You are correct I need to close this chapter, whatever people might say will not harm me inshAllah I am going to put my trust in Allahswt. This dunya is NOTHING is cursed. What I am going to work on is my deen we could die any moment I should be worried about the punishment of the grave hell fire the day of judgement not humans and their whispers and thoughts.
May Allah swt protect us all from the punished of the grave and hell fire and grant you Jannah.

:sl:

I was really devastated about an event that happened to me the day before yesterday, I didn't want to share it with anyone, but as a vague vent I wrote about it in the sister's section, well, sob7an Allah as bad as it was and as bad as I was feeling to the point of not knowing how to receive a new day, my sisters all came to my aid and gave me hope and sabr, and encouragement.. that is what a true good Muslim would do for you, avert your sins, keep your secret and be there for you.. you deserve better, and I hope you realize that?

already you are feeling remorse
you made yourself into the guilty party
you tried to make amends for perceived errors
you have been polite to everyone

if Allah swt forgives all, and the prophet SAW was so clement (read below)
then how can this person, not forgive you or at least offer you a kind word after an apology?

sob7an Allah

Outstanding Forgiveness of the Prophet
By Living Shari`ah Staff

Another great quality of Muhammad was that he never took revenge on anyone for personal reasons and always forgave even his firm enemies. His wife `A'ishah reported that Allah's Messenger was not unseemly or obscene in his speech, nor was he loud-voiced in the streets, nor did he return evil for evil, but he would forgive and pardon. The people of the Quraysh rebuked him, taunted and mocked at him, beat him and abused him. They tried to kill him and when he escaped to Madinah, they waged many wars against him. Yet when he entered Makkah victorious with an army of 10000, he did not take revenge on anyone. He forgave all. Even his deadliest enemy, Abu Sufyan, who had fought so many battles against him, was forgiven, as was anyone who stayed in his house. `Abdullah ibn Ubayy, the leader of the hypocrites of Madinah, worked all his life against Muhammad and Islam and left no stone in trying to defeat his mission. He withdrew his three hundred supporters in the Battle of Uhud, which almost broke the backbone of the Muslims. He engaged in intrigues and acts of hostility against the Prophet of Islam and the Muslims. He tried to discredit Allah’s Messenger by spreading slander about his wife `A’ishah. About this incident Almighty Allah says: "Lo! They who spread the slander are a gang among you. Deem it not a bad thing for you; nay, it is good for you. Unto every man of them will be paid that which he has earned of the sin; and as for him among them who had the greater share therein, his will be an awful doom." (An-Nur: 11) Yet Muhammad forgave him and offered his funeral prayer and prayed Allah to forgive `Abdullah. But afterwards, Allah revealed: "And never (O Muhammad) pray for one of them who dies, nor stand by his grave. Lo! They disbelieve in Allah and His Messenger, and they died while they were evil doers." (At-Tawbah: 84)
An Abyssinian slave who had killed Muhammad’s beloved uncle Hamzah in the Battle of Uhud was also forgiven when he embraced Islam after the victory of Makkah. The wife of Abu Sufyan, who had cut open Hamzah’s chest and torn his liver and heart into pieces in the Battle of Uhud, quietly came to the Prophet and accepted Islam. He recognized her but did not say anything. She was so impressed by his magnanimity and stature that she said, "O Allah's Messenger, no tent was more deserted in my eyes than yours; but today no tent is more lovely in my eyes than yours."
Habar ibn al-Aswad was another vicious enemy of Muhammad and of Islam. He had inflicted a grievous injury to Zaynab, daughter of the Prophet. She was pregnant when she emigrated from Makkah to Madinah. The polytheists of Makkah obstructed her and Habar ibn al-Aswad intentionally threw her down from the camel. She was badly hurt and miscarried as a result. Habar committed many other crimes as well. He wanted to run away to Persia but then he came to Muhammad, who forgave him.
Muhammad was all for forgiveness and no amount of crime or aggression against him was too great to be forgiven by him. He was the complete example of forgiveness and kindness, as mentioned in the following verse of the Qur'an: "Keep to forgiveness (O Muhammad), and enjoin kindness, and turn away from the ignorant." (Al-A`raf: 199)
He always repelled evil with good, for, in his view, an antidote was better than poison. He believed and practiced the precept that love could foil hatred and aggression could be won over by forgiveness. He overcame the ignorance of the people with the knowledge of Islam, and the folly and evil of the people with his kind and forgiving treatment. With his forgiveness, he freed people from the bondage of sin and crime, and also made them great friends of Islam. He was an exact image of the following verse of the Qur'an: "Good and evil are not alike. Repel evil with what is better. Then he, between whom and you there was hatred, will become as though he was a bosom friend." (Fussilat: 34)


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AnonymousPoster
06-13-2009, 12:20 AM
:sl: What a amazing man words cant describe him. So forgiving to those who tried to murder him, sob7an Allah!
I am proud for not replying to the terrible text Iblis whispered and whispered i am glad i did not. I cannot change people mind as long as Allah swt knows whats in my heart and i asked for forgiveness once. Khalas that is it.
Sister that was a beautiful article, jzkallah khair
Reply

جوري
06-13-2009, 12:44 AM
Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
:sl: What a amazing man words cant describe him. So forgiving to those who tried to murder him, sob7an Allah!
I am proud for not replying to the terrible text Iblis whispered and whispered i am glad i did not. I cannot change people mind as long as Allah swt knows whats in my heart and i asked for forgiveness once. Khalas that is it.
Sister that was a beautiful article, jzkallah khair

It was my pleasure, I learned something from that article too :D

so promise now that you'll start a fresh new start and not look back insha'Allah

:w:
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AnonymousPoster
06-13-2009, 10:37 AM
Originally Posted by Gossamer skye
It was my pleasure, I learned something from that article too :D

so promise now that you'll start a fresh new start and not look back insha'Allah

:w:
Promise sis.:statisfie
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Eric H
06-13-2009, 05:44 PM
Greetings and peace be with you Gossamer skye;

prophet SAW was so clement

A wonderful story of forgiveness by the Prophet SAW. And in today’s world would he forgive a drunk driver who has killed?
Sometimes when we look at these very special people and see the remarkable things they did, we then struggle to understand the circumstances we should frogive people today.

In the spirit of rpaying to a loving and merciful God

Eric
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- IqRa -
06-25-2009, 02:58 PM
Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
:sl: May Allah swt reward you. In times of need you were all there, Ya Allah swt jzkallah khair. I am not worried or sad anymore. I am going to improve on my deen. You are correct I need to close this chapter, whatever people might say will not harm me inshAllah I am going to put my trust in Allahswt. This dunya is NOTHING is cursed. What I am going to work on is my deen we could die any moment I should be worried about the punishment of the grave hell fire the day of judgement not humans and their whispers and thoughts.
May Allah swt protect us all from the punished of the grave and hell fire and grant you Jannah.
How are you feeling now?
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Happiness
08-10-2009, 11:51 PM
Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
:sl: may allah swt reward you for all the advice you all give on the advice session. i have a problem i have a temper and suffered from depression. now i know you might think of course allah swt loves you. i am believe in him, the prophet peace be upon and the day of judgement. i have lost people close to me because of my `negativity` people have prayer istakarah which apparently revealed not to be my friend. if Allah swt loves me why does he give others sign to stay away from me? I am now not only depressed but alone as well. is he trying to make me stronger? i feel very very alone, i get so lonely. even if u dont reply please me dua for me. i know i am not perfect and i am partly at fault for people leaving me but i also possess good qualities. i cry for no reason at times. and feel very sad.

Salam
It sounds from reading your post that you are in alot of pain emotionally. I can understand that when one is depressed he/she does not have the clarity of mind to believe anything postive especially when you are already feeling negative. It is during this time we look to find meaning and reassurance, if not from people close to us then from Allah (SWT) that he still loves us and has not also abandoned us. Allah (SWT) will never abandon you and loves you but you have to be open to receive that.
However you have to understand the root of your depression and understand what is causing your negativity and this can happen in many ways either by talking with someone you trust or an imam if you have a good relationship or professional psychotherapist.
I believe when one is severly depressed sometimes finding the strength to carry out normal task such as praying can be difficult so my advice would be for you to do as much Zikr as possible and get yourself some help.

If I can be of any help then please don't hesitate to ask.


May Allah grant you health.
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anonymous
08-13-2009, 02:44 AM
As salaam walaikum AnonymousGender,

I'm sorry if I'm repeating this as I didn't get an opportunity to view all the answers.

Basically, people praying istikhara to stay away from you is completely wrong. Islam doesn't allow a person to break ties. Islam says, if you are angry with one another then do not stop talking for more than 3 days. The one who says salaam first gets more rewards. Smile is considered charity. Does it seem like what these people are doing is Islamic? One cannot use istikhara to ask about something forbidden.

In my opinion, if they decided to avoid you, it's better for you. You need to have better friends and better Muslims around you. If you are depressed, I suggest to read the book, "Don't Be Sad". Recite dua constantly. There are so many duas for despair, sadness, etc. Keep the company of good Muslims and try to stay active, eat a healthy diet, get a good night's sleep. Exercise releases endorphins which are the body's "feel good" hormones.

Don't worry about others. Allah does not forsake anyone. This is just shaitaan talking to you trying to make you stray away from Islam and feel depressed. Everyone's Iman level varies and fluctuates from time to time. Including the Sahaba. Infact, Sahaba's would get such thoughts that they told the prophet (saw) that they can't even bring it out to their tongues. It caused them distress. But the prophet said to not worry about it and this is also a sign of faith.

Don't ever give up! Allah will never give up on you as long as you are sincere and believe in Him. :D

I hope this was helpful. Everything I said has been mentioned in hadith, Quran, etc. Being in a rush, I couldn't provide you the sources but do check it out for yourself as well.

I'm not a member and so I used an anonymous account. InshaAllah the mods with be ok with that. If not, my apologies. :)

- Sincere Muslima.
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