Abnormal Sexual Preference... Is there help?

[جوري]

http://www.islamonline.net/english/i...ty/index.shtml

[Clover]

I don't think their is a real negative thing about being gay. I believe it's a choice, unless your being pushed by your parents or something.

[Whatsthepoint]

I think Homosexuality is a choice, in a sense what type of environment you choose to be in. An individual sexuality develops upon the type of environment they are in.

what do you mean choose the environment?

[Faizal_Rakhangi]

Clover & Guest Fellow, are you confused, a deliberate wrong choice, despite grave warnings is a Kabira Sin, what you two are saying is confusing, I think the moderators need to monitor most of what is being said around here

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[alcurad]

interesting, thnx for sharing

[جوري]

interesting, thnx for sharing

I just really posted it for the Muslims who have well 'an abnormal sexual preference' that there is help should they choose to seek it, and especially from those who have suffered such desires, so folks they can first hand relate to...

It isn't open for a debate it is more of ! than a ? in spite of what appears in the subject matter..

:w:

[Tony]

Allahs blessing be upon you sister:D

[Clover]

Clover & Guest Fellow, are you confused, a deliberate wrong choice, despite grave warnings is a Kabira Sin, what you two are saying is confusing, I think the moderators need to monitor most of what is being said around here

Some would say I am.

Their is nothing wrong with stating a opinoin, even if some don't like it. I do not know anyone who warns it, except maybe some scientists, or religious figures, but I haven't heard anyone warn about it, I guess it's cause I never looked into the effects of being gay beyond my friends who are gay, and the effects it had on them.

If you want, I can ask the moderators to watch this topic.

[Abdul Fattah]

Some would say I am. Their is nothing wrong with stating a opinoin, even if some don't like it.

Actually there is. You are a guest on an Islamic forum and agreed to the forum rules when registering. While you might have a much larger form of freedom of speech on your own website, in here you're expected to express your freedom of opinion only in sections were it's allowed, like the comparative religion section. The advice section is for people seeking Islamic advice on an Islamic forum.
Hope you don't hold this comment, it's just a reminder, nothing personal.

[Clover]

Actually there is. You are a guest on an Islamic forum and agreed to the forum rules when registering. While you might have a much larger form of freedom of speech on your own website, in here you're expected to express your freedom of opinion only in sections were it's allowed, like the comparative religion section. The advice section is for people seeking Islamic advice on an Islamic forum.
Hope you don't hold this comment, it's just a reminder, nothing personal.

I don't have my own website.

No one is seeking advice atm, Gossamer stated a website for people who are. I didn't see that in the rules, thanks for bringing it up, I'll probably just stay away from here then, cause I am not a Muslim and am liable to give un-Islamic advice.

[جوري]

this story from above website I found really inspirational...

When You Find Out You Are a Gay

My world was so confused as I kept asking myself why men marry women when in fact, they love men?
Editor's note: This is the true story of an ex-homosexual man. It is published here with the author's kind permission.

I was born in a devout Muslim family. All my family members keep the five daily prayers, fast in the month of Ramadan, and observe all the Islamic teachings and rituals. My parents performed Hajj in the 1970s. There are 14 of us in the family. I am the 11th and the last son of a 5-brother and 9-sister family. I am close to my sisters and my mother compared to my brothers. My father passed away when I was 10.

I felt attracted to guys when I was young. Maybe the feeling developed when I was 10 years old. At 14, I knew that I would not want to get married as I was not attracted to women. I thought of how I would face my brothers and sisters when they all would get married and I would stay single.
My world was so confused as I asked myself why men marry women when in fact they love men. Then I realized that it was only me who felt that way. I was never abused by anyone. I still have no clue why it affected me.

Same Sex Experience


Last March, while reading Qur'an after Fajr Prayer, I prayed in my heart that Allah gives me a female companion. I wanted to stop all this Somehow, time passed by so fast and I had to face the reality that I will stay single forever. Luckily, some of my brothers and sisters got married when I was studying in the US. When I finished my degree, I stayed in Kuala Lumpur away from my family. Therefore, I could escape from the marriage questions.

My first SSE (Same-Sex Experience) started during college days. It continued after completing my studies when I settled back in Kuala Lumpur. It went further as my work took me to the Middle East. During these times, I still continued with my prayers. Sometimes, I felt so shy to face Allah during prayer as I just had sex earlier. Sometimes, I waited till the next day.

Although my career grew, I felt turbulence in life. My career did not go as smoothly as I wanted it to. My life was empty and my emotions were unstable as I kept changing partners. Then, I read a hadith about those committing sodomy.

Two years ago, I was out of work. I thought that was the worst time of my life when in fact it was the best time ever. I started reading the translation of the Qur'an. The imam in a mini mosque read hadiths (from the collection of Imam An-Nawawi) every morning after Fajr Prayer (Arabic for: Dawn Prayer). I now realize how these hadiths have shaped my life and my thinking.
I also read Prophet Muhammad's (peace and blessings be upon him) biography and the biographies of the 10 Companions who were promised Paradise. These stories moved me.
Even with all this, I still continued with my SSE, as bad habits die hard.

During my 6-month out-of-work period, Allah taught me how to surrender to Him. When I was hungry with no food to eat, Allah sent people offering me to eat with them. I did not have to ask Allah for this. He read me well. I was glad.
Surrendering to Allah is the turning point of my life. Reading the translation of the Qur'an has changed my perception of thinking and looking at this world. I read the book Road to Mecca by Muhammed Assad. I felt like a totally new Muslim.

Even with all this, I was still having SSE.

Words from Prophet Lut to his people kept me thinking. "Take my daughters for your wife. May you will find peace." I smiled sarcastically as I know these people were not interested in women, how could he offer his daughters? But then again, these are a prophet's words. There must be some truth in them.

Last March, while reading Qur'an after Fajr Prayer, I prayed in my heart that Allah gives me a female companion. I wanted to stop all this. I felt tired of my life, felt like every time I was climbing ladders to reach to the highest level of faith, I fell down when I had a SSE.

Getting Married
Allah gave me a wife who fulfilled 9 out of 10 on my checklist With my companion, I could channel my sexual desire according to Islam. Within a week, Allah sent someone who wanted to introduce me to her auntie. (I said in my heart: An auntie?) I said, "OK if I have the time." Then the lady was brought to me in the same evening. There was not much conversation except that she said that her favorite journey is from her house to the masjid. That was the last word we spoke before I adjourned to surau for my `Asr Prayer (Arabic for: Afternoon Prayer).

After the first meeting, we contacted each other via text messages. She asked me "Why didn't I get married?" I was a bit stunned and replied with all sorts of excuses. Then I resent to inform that in fact I did not get married because I was born homosexual. After a week of text messaging, I asked her if that it was OK to let my mom know about us and I found the right person. She said "OK." Within three months, we were married in a small ceremony.

Allah gave me a wife. She fulfilled 9 out of 10 on my checklist. I told her the one she did not fulfill is that she is a woman, not a man. She smiled. Allah offered me the qualities in her as if I spelled out my checklist. Allah knows me too well and knows what makes me happy.

During the three months that I knew her (before marriage), I did not feel attracted to her, I did not feel the arousal when I was with her. Nor does she toward me. I surrendered to Allah alone as I read in the Qur'an that He is the One Who showers the love feeling.
I prayed to Allah to shower us with love and make me feel aroused with her. True enough, Allah accepted my plea.

During the process of knowing my wife, I stumbled upon straight struggle Yahoo! groups based in the UK that cater for Muslims who face Same Sex Attraction (SSA) all over the world. I shared my life experience and my successful story with the groups. I am glad that I paved the way and encouraged some to take the first step to get married and counter the fear of first-night marriage.
In sha' Allah, my small contribution will lead to many successful heterosexual marriages in the future. Amen.

http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/S...ture/ACELayout

[Abdul Fattah]

hi,
well, you are certainly allowed to post here, there are other non-muslims (like Glo comes to mind) who frequently come here and can give good advice to people that falls well within the Islamic parameters. I guess that might be easier for her, since as a Christian she might be closer in opinions to us then a Taoist might be. Anyway, my point is, I didn't want to "scare you away" or anything like that.

It's also true that this isn't stated explicitly in the forum rules. So you didn't miss anything. It merely says that people should post in the appropriate forums and threads. The name of this sub-section used to be "Islamic advice" before. And then it was clear that un-islamic advice was not allowed. But then somewhere along the line they cleaned up the forum, and renamed some of the sections, and moved stuff around. A bit like an internet spring cleaning. And somehow in teh end of it; it is now less obvious that only Islamic advice is allowed here. But I take it the purpose of this sub-forum is still to provide Islamic advice to people.
Peace ^_^