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AnonymousPoster
06-20-2009, 05:04 AM
:sl:

I have a slight problem.

A close friend of mine keeps getting low grades despite studying everything and KNOWING everything. If we are studying before an exam, for example, she knows the material much more than I do.

But in exams, I always end up getting a slightly higher grade than her.

But she is not doing anything wrong! We'll talk about the exam later and go over it and we find that we end up choosing really similar answers ... she is not confused or anything. But then why is she getting lower grade than you would expect?

Today we got an exam mark and I seriously thought she did better than I did cuz she knew more of the material and was really confident but she ended up getting a much lower grade than I did. There was nothing wrong with the marking and we still havnt seen our papers so I cant compare on what she was doing wrong.

Anyway, she told she got a low grade and my 'auto' reply was that maybe it was not as bad as she thought...and I told her what I got and told her to concentrate on her exam tom....now she is kind of mad at me....cuz she said that if she had a good mark she would not be complaining...she said "i mean like im not the kind of person who gets a good mark and then complains about it" and "I dont complain for no reason"... all I said was maybe it was not as bad as she thought...

Now she is mad. What do I tell her to make her feel better? How can I help her get the marks she is capable of getting.

imsadimsad

Any advice will be appreciated.
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Ummu Sufyaan
06-20-2009, 09:55 AM
wa alaykum us-Salaam
maybe she has other personal problems on her mind and that combines with the pressure of exams so she sort of "crumbles.." ?
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aadil77
06-20-2009, 10:03 AM
Your deeds can always have an effect of how much success Allah will decide to give you, thats the first thing that comes to mind when I mess up exams even though I know I revised properly.
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Yanal
06-20-2009, 04:11 PM
:sl:
Maybe you remember Allah most and she doesn't? There are many possibilities of getting exam marks: stress...; Heres a story ,me and my friend always use to study for exams/major tests..he always was smarter overall as in understanding better but stressed to much..I on the other hand didn't. Guess who always got the better mark? I always did because I studied less and had no stress. Also I prayed to Allah constantly about my marks and they alhumdulilah are improving rapidly..though now a days I do study a bit more and have a bit more stress..but I still make it through. All thanks to Allah.
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The Ruler
06-20-2009, 05:56 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
But then why is she getting lower grade than you would expect?
"I dont complain for no reason"
Find out the reason. Perhaps it's personal problems?

What do I tell her to make her feel better?
She sulking and whining. Let her do that for as long as she wants. She'll turn around after that period's over.

How can I help her get the marks she is capable of getting.
If it really is personal issues, then either she should learn to deal with it, or not allow them to interfere with her exams. And that's what she must do to improve her marks. You can't really do anything about it.

Maybe you remember Allah most and she doesn't?
Yanal, Yanal... It's not always that. Just remembering Allah won't do -though it's a good deed and gets you easy thawaab- But perhaps in case of personal issues, where it's interfering with daily life, one can put their trust in Allah and move on.
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Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн
06-20-2009, 06:02 PM
I would say its personal issues coz it happens with me. Sometimes I study so much and I feel so confident that I'll do well but at the same time I stress out a lot. Come exam day, I get really nervous and that really throws me off. Like other classes that I take where I dont stress and get nervous, I do awesome...
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AnonymousPoster
06-21-2009, 01:48 AM
:sl:

Jazak'allah for all your replies. Insha'allah Allah will bless each and every one of you. Amen.

It seems I over-reacted a little bit yesterday writing that. I apologise. We talked about everything today, it was a bit of misunderstanding on my part....she was mad but not exactly at me....just her situation. She has had a tough home environment and I know that really stresses her. We talked and figured its best for her to see maybe a guidance counselor to help her concentrate on studies.

Hmmm...about remembering Allah and what not, lol, while I do think it helps a lot sometimes (esp reading ya'seen before an exam can do wonders) I dont think it applies to every single exam.

But I think its really imp to be CONFIDENT that you KNOW the material when going in for the exam....I am usu. the opposite of that.....terrified/stressed/nervous/hyperventilating...but once I am in the exam room and in my seat, I close my eyes, go over my dua'as, read ayat-ul-kursi/bismillah and clear my mind out of everything irrelevant. It works most of the time and calms me down. :D

:D:statisfie:statisfie Thank you!

:w:
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AnonymousPoster
06-21-2009, 01:52 AM
Light of Heaven - Once I freaked out..literally...my hands were shaking and all I wanted to do was hide in a corner and die so i wont have to face the exam....It was all my fault cuz I had not studied and knew going into the exam that it would be a disappointment - and it totally was.

So yea REAL STRESS can really mess you up. The key is to stress out in a limited amount. :D

:w:
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Yanal
06-21-2009, 01:58 AM
Yanal, Yanal... It's not always that. Just remembering Allah won't do -though it's a good deed and gets you easy thawaab- But perhaps in case of personal issues, where it's interfering with daily life, one can put their trust in Allah and move on.
I mean during the exam,you say Bismillah etc...That helps.
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Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн
06-21-2009, 01:59 AM
Yes thats true sis anon. It really sucks though when you studied your utmost and when you get ur exam grade back, ur disappointed <_< Maybe there's some wisdom in that? Allahu Alam.

All the best sis xx
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aadil77
06-21-2009, 06:27 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by AnonymousGender

Hmmm...about remembering Allah and what not, lol, while I do think it helps a lot sometimes (esp reading ya'seen before an exam can do wonders) I dont think it applies to every single exam.
Err... yh it does. Allah is the provider sis, just as he gives you success He can just as easily take it away from you if you are negligent of deen and you're in debt of your deeds. Its not surah yaseen itself thats gonna help you, its Allah that accepts those prayers, So remember everything is from Allah.

Try and think of everything in life the Islamic way, sure there are other factors that contribute to problems or success, but remember its Allah that wills for any of that to happen and He holds the solution to everything.

:thumbs_up
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