Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
Jazak Allah khair bro, May Allah reward u n bless u.
I understand where ur comming from.
InshahAllah i will try to answer some of those question.
We as Muslims , we are with the Daleel/ Evidence / Proof , Which is Quran n Sunnah.
I have already mentioned the commands from Quran n authentic sunnah.
So we concluded that it is not allowed to look except for the first glance , but at times there are circumstances like u mentioned to see who the person is, Or for e.g some one works for police or at the airport so he has to see and make sure of the identity of the person.
Allah says in the Quran " Fear Allah as much as u can" So its important to save the gaze as much as we can n bro trust me if ur able to do that Allah will iNSHAHaLLAH OPEN DOORS OF A LOT OF GOOD FOR U. Just like a hadith says whoever protects his gaze will taste the sweetness of emaan.
Now for TV, it is not pemissible to see it, i know it might sound very extreme or harsh, but yes when u see opposite gender on TV it is just as u were seeing them in real life and it is as haram as real life so one should aviod TV as much as one can , Now a days its hard to even watch the news, And what good is it on the TV anyway, its not like ur life will be incomplete without TV, Trust me i know people who are doing JUST FINE without TV.U wont lose anything trust me.So yes watching em on Tv is not allowed and TV and magazines n pictures are included in the whole issue of protecting the gaze.
All i am saying is that one at the opposite gender only for necessity and only when one REALLY TRULY has to.n if one is sincere he would still ask Allah to forguve him even though He had no Choice but to look n the intention was good n he did not seek any pleasure.
Now living in US i completely understand what u mena, i went to university in michigan n stayed for about 4 years.
Protect ur gaze as much as you can , and try to move out when you can, I mean when ur old enough or see if ur parents will be willing to move out , lots of people move out to protect their selfes , even from liberal arabic nmuslim countries like UAE to more conservative places like Saudi Etc.
Now seeking forgvness n repentace is easy , Firt of All there is a narration that means that muslims regret is his repentance, but it has to be true regret from the heart n Allah knows whats in the hearts notthing i shidden from Him.
A good way will be to Keep asking forgivness al the times, Now this does not mean u have to sit down n raise ur hands. While walking , driving , sitting standing , In ur heart n by your tongue keep CALLING on Alah with his beautiful names n atributes n asking him for forgiveness , like AstghfirULLAH , AstghfiruLLah wa atoub ilyeh , rabbi ighfir le, rabi ighfir le wa arhamni , Rabi ighfir le wa tob alaye, or in any language , Lord forgive me n have mercy on me.
U know the Prophet Sala lahu alihi wa sallam used to do Istighfar as much as 70 times in one gathering or one meeting.
Ibn ‘Umar said: It would be counted that the Messenger of Allaah (S) would say one hundred times at any one sitting before getting up:
‘O my Lord, forgive me and turn towards me (to accept my repentance). Verily You are The Oft-Returning, the Oft-Forgiving.
‘The Messenger of Allaah (S) said: ‘By Allaah, I seek forgiveness and repent to Allaah, more than seventy times a day.’
He (S) also said: ‘O People, Repent! Verily I repent to Allaah, a hundred times a day.’
He (S) also said: ‘Verily my heart becomes preoccupied, and verily I seek Allaah’s forgiveness a hundred times a day.’
He (S) also said: ‘Whoever says:
‘I seek Allaah’s forgiveness, besides whom, none has the right to be worshipped except He, The Ever Living, The Self-Subsisting and Supporter of all, I turn to Him in repentance.’
…Allaah would forgive him even if he was one who fled during the advance of an army.’
He (S) said: ‘The nearest to the Lord comes to His servant is in the middle of the night, so if you are able to be of those who remember Allaah at that time, then be so.’
He (S) also said: ‘The nearest a servant is to his Lord is when he is prostrating, so supplicate much therein.’
‘How perfect You are O Allaah, and I praise You. I bear witness that none has the right to be worshipped except You. I seek Your forgiveness and turn to You in repentance.’
N the types of istighfar n repentence are many plus u can ask Allah to forgive u in ur own ways, Make ur self humble Before him n ask in Humility.
Bro i have know people who have actually benefited from being in situations like u, How?
When they were in such environment where sin was open , it was everywhere , they were copping sins un intentionally and wheer ever they would go they would have evil around them , this helped them in a way getting closer to Allah. They would increase in repentence through out the day and at night Ask Allah for forgivness in the last hours and wash away their sins n their hearst with their tears, They truly felt guilty n felt bad n knew what they were doing was wrong, So being in and around sin n evil actually proved good for them coz it helped them get closer to Allah , it helped them increase in seeking forgiveness n repenting and doing more n more good to make up for the evil that they could not avoid. I hope u get my poinnt , at times its the sins , the guilt , the flaws the realization that makes us do lot sof good n opens doors for lot of good.
Asking forgiveness n seeking lots of repentence open up lots of doors of good, open the heart n chest up , softens the heart , increases the imaan n also increases the piety n fear of Allah n gets the servant close to Allah.The fruits are too many to count.
But all that if a person is actually sorry for what he is doing or made to do, he is guilty , he regrets n hates it , But if on the other hand we open the door of "Intentions" which is a door of satan , one keeps doing the wrong things n say hey! My intention is good , im not seeking any pleasure or anything, n like i said before these steps of shaytan can really have great effects on the heart n the life of the heart. Once the guilt n bad feeling is gone , the haya n shyness is gone , the fear of Alah goes n hearts become hard.
there are lots of benefits of Istighfaar and repentence.
Like prophet Nuh Said to his people:
10. "I said (to them): 'Ask forgiveness from your Lord; Verily, He is Oft-Forgiving;
11. 'He will send rain to you in abundance;
12. 'And give you increase in wealth and children, and bestow on you gardens and bestow on you rivers.' "
So bro have the right attitude towards towards sin n evil , dont let satan fool u, Trust me he has gots tricks by the billions, he has been decieving mankind since adam , just imagine how many tricks he has got! Have the right attiude, keep getting closer to Allah by ur sins , Liek Ibn al qayim has a beautiful article i will post it here InshahAllah ,its Called "A sin That Leads to Jannah". InshahAllah u can find it if u search the net for it also