Selam aleykum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuhu.
May Allah subhana wa ta'ala make things easy for you, strenghthen your imaan and lead you to jannah.
Like some other people have already mentioned, you are not alone in this, other muslims go trough periods like this to. Just remember:
Do men think that they will be left alone on saying, "We believe", and that they will not be tested? (29:02)
It could be that Allah subhana wa ta'ala still loves you to a great extend but is merely testing you with hardship so that he can later increase the reward you'll receive inshaAllah.
format_quote Originally Posted by
AnonymousGender
I've been depressed for so long now (years yes YEARS) that I have completely lost faith in Allah. I used to pray so much with a sincere heart and with true and painful tears, pouring my heart out to Allah. I still feel the need to pray, but having the sincerety and even trying to believe that eventually my duas will be answered and I will get better is an impossibilty.
It's probably not worth me praying if I haven't got the sincerity in my heart right? Should I just give up altogether and accept that this is my life and I will NEVER get better?
Why would it be impossible? Nothing is impossible for Allah subhana wa ta'ala. Also remember:
Say: "O my Servants who have transgressed against their souls! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah: for Allah forgives all sins: for He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. (39:53).
Nowadays when I get on the prayer mat, I have crazy thoughts in my head like, “oh here we go, I have to force myself to pray even though my life is in tatters. This is a joke, Allah won’t listen to me, He never has in the past decade why would He listen now” I do end up finishing my prayer but very grudgingly and angrily. I can’t do it with a sincere heart anymore. When I did I was still ignored.
I've been trough periods like this to. All I can say is be patient and persist in doing good.
Please don't tell me things will change and I have to believe they will and all that crap because my kismet is already written, I can't do anything, that's right NOT even make dua because it will never be accepted.
This idea is wrong! It comes from the shaytaan. Kismet is written, but that doesn't mean that dua is powerless to make any change or that we can't take control of our lives! Allah subhana wa ta'ala knows everything, even the things that will happen in the future. So when destiny was written down, he already knew the dua that you would make in the future, and took them into account when writing destiny. So never dispair in the usefulness of dua!
Please don't tell me I will live a happier life in the hereafter, YOU DON'T KNOW THAT FOR SURE ONLY ALLAH SWT KNOWS!!!
Of course we never know for sure, what we do know though, is that if you do not commit shirk, and repent for the sins you make, and keep the 5 daily prayers, and fast and so on. Basically keep following the rules
despite being miserable, depressed. The nsurely your reward will be greater then those who do the same as you, but for whom it is made easy.
After years and years of trying to make my life better, it collapses on top of me again and again. I pray and I pray and yes I shouldn't be complaining like this but how else am I supposed to let this anger and these frustrations out to release the tension?
another way to let the frustration out is to cry. I mean, really it's al right, you have the right to cry. And it certainly sounds you have the background for it. This is really the best way to get it out. And you said you did this in the past, so you already know how. All you have to do in order to get back is realise that it's still the same "you". And that Allah subhana wa ta'ala leaves the doors for forgiveness open, no matter what you've done or happened.
No one else listens, my family don't care, my friends are sick of me and my depression and my mood swings, they don’t even care anymore.
SubhanaAllah, may Allah bring people in your life who do care, and who understand this kind of hardship you are going trough and are patient with you.
I wake up every morning feeling painfully lonely, empty, like I'm already dead just walking around in a body, nothing to look forward too, no true friends, no family who actually care.
Get married as soon as possible. Really, this is a very important part of life.
I drive around in my car and I just cry while i'm driving, I used to play the Qur'an CD, but not even that makes me feel better. Even after praying, I feel lifeless and empty. Why should anyone care how I feel? Afterall, I'm just another 'nobody' walking around on this earth waiting to drop dead with this torturous pain and loneliness.
Of course people care, I mean I'm crying just from reading this. I can't stress this enough, but never dispair in Allah subhana wa ta'ala. May allah subhana wa ta'ala make it easy for you.
I say Istighfar all the time but I can't say it like I mean it, I can't recite the Qur'an like I mean it anymore, I can't read any dua like I mean it anymore, I feel treacherously hopeless. All these words can't describe the pain and suffering I'm going through.
Don't worry we understand what you mean, Like I said, many people go trough this, I just had a rough year like this. Just be patient inshaAllah.
What do I do? Should I just give up and accept that I was born to live in misery? If Allah swt is Forgiving, why after years of asking for forgiveness am I still suffering this much?
Allah subhana wa ta'ala knows best.
Maybe because he wants to increase your reward, maybe because he's waiting for the right time, maybe it is in order to steer away an even greater hardship that would otherwise befall you. There could be thousands of different reasons. But if you read the quranic verses I quoted, then you should know that this doesn't mean that you are a "lost case".
Why do people say "Allah doesn't burden a soul more than it can bear"? When I feel i could collapse and die any minute from this pain that has built up over the years and has got too much for me to handle?
Well you have been bearing this burden right? Doesn't that mean that you can bear it? People can generally bear allot more than they think they can. I mean, really look at yourself! Years of depression and sadness and loneliness, and you're still keeping prayers! So many others would have already given up way ealier. But you haven't, because you can bear this test, and Allah subhana wa ta'ala knows you better then you know yourself. May Allah subhana wa ta'ala make it easy for you.
Do I really have to accept the fact that i will NEVER see the light at the end of the tunnel? "Verily after hardship comes relief" YES that is correct for most EXCEPT ME!
"No soul is burdened with more than it can bare" YES for most EXCEPT ME!!!!! None of these matter to all of you, you are just reading, you can't feel what i feel.
You'd be surprised ^_^
These words are nothing. I'm nothing, this world is nothing!!! My pain doesn't mean anything to anybody. I see happy people, I get so angry and upset! DON'T TELL ME THEY MIGHT BE UNHAPPY BEHIND CLOSED DOORS!!!! AT LEAST THEY CAN MANAGE A SMILE!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sometimes I smile because otherwise people would ask what's wrong and then I would have to explain and they wouldn't understand and I would become even more sad. And yes, at least I can manage that, but the smile cuts trough my heart like a knife.
One day people will be sad and the next day they find relief. Allah swt eases their pain after a short while. But my pain doesn't matter, it carries on and on and it doesn't stop hurting. This is not a TEST IT'S NEVERENDING TORTURE!!!!!
Are you all happy? haha, did you all find 'relief after hardship' hahahaaaaaa GOOD FOR U!!!!!!!
I know, it's not your fault, really it's not your fault. It's ok. May Alalh subhana wa ta'ala make it easy for you.
Are any of you going through hardship right now this very minute????? What is your hardship? It's probably so minor and pathetic you call it HARDSHIP LOL!!!!!!
It's not a competition. Hardship is hardship. There might be people who have it less bad, but even they are entitled to being sad because of it, and seeking help because of it. Likewise there will be people who have it worse then you do (think of people in warzones being tortured and raped, people dying of hunger, and so on...). And just because these people have a worse hardship then you do, does not mean that you are not entitled to be sad, or seek help.
Don't worry about me, I'm just another excuse for a human being!!!!! MY FEELINGS DON'T COUNT!!!!!! Me, my life, my feelings, my thoughts, me just being on this earth, itcounts for NOTHING!!
:( May Allah subhana wa ta'ala make things easy for you.
SORRY IF I'VE OFFENDED ANYONE I DON'T MEAN TO, YOUR PROBLEMS MUST BE REAL BAD!!!!!
It's ok, I understand, it's not your fault, be patient inshaAllah.
What are you going to tell me next? That I have a roof over my head, I have bread to eat and clothes to wear?????? WHAT IS THE POINT WHEN I'M LIVING IN MISERY!!!!!!! GOOD LUCK TO YOU ALL IN YOUR SHORT LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't believe in luck, but I wish for the best for you to. And may Allah subhana wa ta'ala make it easy for you.