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catalzzy
06-25-2009, 10:16 AM
:w:

Imagine, if a righteous muslim man and a woman whom he likes, and he knows her mother and her brothers.
One day, He proposed to a woman that he wants to marry according to the Qur'an and the hadeeth. The woman said, i am not ready and yet i have to get a job first etc. The man gets quite unclear about it yet he respected the woman view.
He plans to get hold of her and will not give up till she gets a job or whatever she want.
One day, the man found that she got a man that she wants to marry. However, many years the man help, care, etc for her has become wasteful on that woman and he made a confession to her that "i cannot be friends with you any more", and wished not to see her forever because he dosent want to waste his time on her. He prayed to Allah to give another woman for him.
It is like, a man who do not understand woman before marriage.

What do you think of this scenario?
Is he wronged or not?
:thumbs_up
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'Abd-al Latif
06-25-2009, 10:40 AM
Here's what I see wrong:

"i cannot be friends with you any more",
There's no such thing as a man and woman as 'friends' in Islam and this sort of relationship is haram.

And this
i am not ready and yet i have to get a job first etc.
is perhaps a polite way of saying 'No' for marriage to him.
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catalzzy
06-25-2009, 11:01 AM
Well, how come friends are not allowed? i mean like, for example, a man is a relative to a woman say, cousins. and is it considered as not a friend?
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aadil77
06-25-2009, 11:13 AM
Originally Posted by Catalzzy
Well, how come friends are not allowed? i mean like, for example, a man is a relative to a woman say, cousins. and is it considered as not a friend?
You might have been friends when you were young, yes. But once you enter that age of adolescence, things change and you should then be avoiding any women that aren't mahram to you.
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'Abd-al Latif
06-25-2009, 11:14 AM
Originally Posted by Catalzzy
Well, how come friends are not allowed? i mean like, for example, a man is a relative to a woman say, cousins. and is it considered as not a friend?
Though they are family members they are Islamically considered 'strangers' to each other. In other words, anyone whom you are allowed to marry but aren't, is a stranger to you and any unnecessary contact/relationship such as being friends, or girlfriends or just 'hanging out', talking over the phone and anything similar to this is haram.
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catalzzy
06-25-2009, 11:37 AM
Though they are family members they are Islamically considered 'strangers' to each other. In other words, anyone whom you are allowed to marry but aren't, is a stranger to you and any unnecessary contact/relationship such as being friends, or girlfriends or just 'hanging out', talking over the phone and anything similar to this is haram.
Since you said it,

however, it well can be condritracting with marriage, because it is like how can a man who is willing to marry someone for the sake of Allah s.w.t although the woman prohibit from being friends with him? it is like a straight forward marriage? so, do you think it is hard for men seeking women for marriage?
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mathematician
06-25-2009, 02:55 PM
I am confused. You don't have to be "friends" with a woman to be able to propose to her for marriage.
This doesn't make it difficult for a man to find a woman for marriage.
There are many other ways of doing it. But I have to tell you, I get irritated easily when I hear muslims speaking of being "friends" with someone of the opposite gender. :enough!:
If you read the stories of the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him, and see that they had "female friends" then we can talk further. But I will guarantee you then didn't, and they probably never thought of doing it. May Allah be pleased with them.
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catalzzy
06-26-2009, 08:09 PM
Yeah,

i never heard any stories of Prophet Muhammad(p.b.u.h) mentioning that they had female friends.

Hm, yeah. all difficult from what i hear.

You don't have to be "friends" with a woman to be able to propose to her for marriage.
This doesn't make it difficult for a man to find a woman for marriage.
That can be possible, and it depends on the case of the each 2 individuals.
but, dont you agree that they need to know each other or being engaged (haram or not)?

Assalam Alykum all.
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Yanal
06-27-2009, 03:47 AM
That can happen after their parents meet and discuss marriage for a few meetings and decide if they should talk. Then after they may talk but not have any other contact without parents knowing and if they do that will be haaram.
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