Gotta make her mine

[anonymous]

:bism:
:salamext:
I have found myself in a tight situation I hope by writting this that some of you can help me find my way out. For a few years I have been ignoring this, but now I truly see it. I always had this image of my ideal wife. I thought she would be Arab of syrian origin you know someone of my culture. Now I have realised that I am begining to develop some serious feelings for a Somali girl who attends my uni. when I see her, I know that she's the woman of my dreams. I love her smile..the way she moves, talks, her shyness... she's got it all wow. Noww! I have no trouble asking for her hand in marriage but my parents are already planning my own imaginary wedding in their heads:exhausted except that its far from my reality. I am a man I gotta do whatever it takes to make her mine! how will I get the support of my parents? My father believes in nothing called 'mixing'. My mother has a heart of gold i know she will understand. There's a million of stuff running through my head. When I see her all the obstacles beginn to fade, as you can all see this girl has my heart. She's not even my wife yet but she sure is the coolness of my eyes that our rasul (saw) spoke of. I want lots of children, show her the world, make her my queen. Oh Allah my rab help me ameeeen.

[- IqRa -]

Woah. Ok. Another mixed culture situation. Have you talked to your parents about this?

[S_87]

well speak to your parents about it and let them know, then go from there :)

[Intisar]

Well you can always get your mother to speak to your dad. She can soften him up lol. That reminds me of a class I took with Shaykh Yasir Birjas. He told us a story that I don't remember quite well, but basically a shaykh would not come to teach the group of students (because of something that happened, I don't remember what exactly it was lol). No matter what they tried to do, he would not come to the class. So finally they decided to go to his wife. And she then told them, he will be in class tomorrow to teach you guys. They were all confused like, ''how are you so sure?" Sure enough, he came the next day. :p

Women are good at sabsab, as we say in somali, or ''persuasion''. So speak to the sister's wali first, move on from there, and then get your mother to convince your dad.

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[true believer]

aww, well im glad u havent done anythin haram like fintah yet. seriously dat may doom it so alhamdillah for dat. erm dnt talk to this girl unless u gotta, but if ur serious be a man bout it. find her wali or somethin, talk ur parents. maybe talk to her i duno...erm whateva u do...chose ur moves carefully. its sweet u have a crush but u gotta make sure dat u realli want this. just try to avoid anythin haramness so it dont start da wrong way if u understand me bro. i duno what else to say thb, i wish u luck. im sure everythin will go smoothly if its meant to be. pray dat IS prayer thing, im sorri i always forget the name. is...somethin. yes dat. salam

[Najm]

when I see her, I know that she's the woman of my dreams. I love her smile..the way she moves, talks, her shyness... she's got it all wow.....

....There's a million of stuff running through my head. When I see her all the obstacles beginn to fade, as you can all see this girl has my heart. She's not even my wife yet but she sure is the coolness of my eyes that our rasul (saw) spoke of. I want lots of children, show her the world, make her my queen. Oh Allah my rab help me ameeeen.

AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

SubhaanAllah!!! Is this love? How do i get this feeling? :-[

FiAmaaniAllah

[AnonymousPoster]

^You dont. It usually just happens.

[- IqRa -]

AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

SubhaanAllah!!! Is this love? How do i get this feeling? :-[

FiAmaaniAllah

You get it when you fall in love. It's not something you can produce, it produces itself, out of the blue.

[Layla454]

Get your mother to talk to your father to see if she can convince him. Get a local Imam or somebody else to also talk to your father to make him see there is nothing wrong with marrying someone from a different race.

[Ummu Sufyaan]

:sl:

she's got it all wow. Noww! I have no trouble asking for her hand in marriage but my parents are already planning my own imaginary wedding in their heads

make sure you talk to your parents and make sure you're both on the same page with regards to what you want and what they want as to not get the girls hopes high (or even your own) only for it not to work due to a disagreement with your parents...

[Ali_008]

:sl:
Are you sure she'll say yes?
No offense, I'm just saying if you got the "convincing parents" involved then first try to know what she thinks of you. Go to her wali and express your intentions and if possible, tell him about your Dad's situation as well.

[liya]

Masallah all brothers nd sisters said wat i want to say .... so hope best for u and ur future wife amiiiiiiiiiiin :D ... i love mixed marriages masallah it bonds muslim ppl no matter wat dey r from ... dont think ma parent would allow me to imsad

[convert]

AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

SubhaanAllah!!! Is this love? How do i get this feeling? :-[

FiAmaaniAllah

Sounds like lust to me, to be honest.

[AnonymousPoster]

Bro, approach her parents, be a man about it. Do it the halal way and approach her wali akhi... i know you feel bro, theres this sister im very much interested in and ive got a year left to make something of it i.e. approach her wali somehow someway...

Just remember tho akhi, if you don't get her then know Allah is the best of planners and has something else for you.

[AntiKarateKid]

Your dad doesn't believe in mixing?

I say show him how the Prophet pbuh, salaf, and caliphs didn't give a hoot about race so that he can see that his views are unislamic. Then once he does, ask him if he wants to prevent you from getting a wife in a halal manner with his haram views. THAT should do the trick. Put him against Allah, not you.

[YusufNoor]

:bism:
:salamext:
I have found myself in a tight situation I hope by writting this that some of you can help me find my way out. For a few years I have been ignoring this, but now I truly see it. I always had this image of my ideal wife. I thought she would be Arab of syrian origin you know someone of my culture. Now I have realised that I am begining to develop some serious feelings for a Somali girl who attends my uni. when I see her, I know that she's the woman of my dreams. I love her smile..the way she moves, talks, her shyness... she's got it all wow. Noww! I have no trouble asking for her hand in marriage but my parents are already planning my own imaginary wedding in their heads:exhausted except that its far from my reality. I am a man I gotta do whatever it takes to make her mine! how will I get the support of my parents? My father believes in nothing called 'mixing'. My mother has a heart of gold i know she will understand. There's a million of stuff running through my head. When I see her all the obstacles beginn to fade, as you can all see this girl has my heart. She's not even my wife yet but she sure is the coolness of my eyes that our rasul (saw) spoke of. I want lots of children, show her the world, make her my queen. Oh Allah my rab help me ameeeen.

:sl:

Narrated Abu Huraira:
The Prophet said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a losers

Narrated Usama bin Zaid:
The Prophet said, "After me I have not left any affliction more harmful to men than women."

'Abdullah b. Amr reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: The whole world is a provision, and the best object of benefit of the world is the pious woman.

i would say that you have NOT found the woman that you should marry. [unless you left something out]

my wife IS a Somali, BUT i asked her to marry me after she said that she gets up before Fajr every day, prays Tahajjud and reads 1 Juz from the Qur'an.

[Ibn Abi Ahmed]

Well you can always get your mother to speak to your dad. She can soften him up lol. That reminds me of a class I took with Shaykh Yasir Birjas. He told us a story that I don't remember quite well, but basically a shaykh would not come to teach the group of students (because of something that happened, I don't remember what exactly it was lol). No matter what they tried to do, he would not come to the class. So finally they decided to go to his wife. And she then told them, he will be in class tomorrow to teach you guys. They were all confused like, ''how are you so sure?" Sure enough, he came the next day. :p

Women are good at sabsab, as we say in somali, or ''persuasion''. So speak to the sister's wali first, move on from there, and then get your mother to convince your dad.

The famous story of Imaam San'ani...innit? :skeleton: I'd quote the line of poetry he says..but I don't think it's a good idea. :skeleton:

Interesting thread..I'll need to get back to this.

[Ibn Abi Ahmed]

:bism:
:salamext:
I have found myself in a tight situation I hope by writting this that some of you can help me find my way out. For a few years I have been ignoring this, but now I truly see it. I always had this image of my ideal wife. I thought she would be Arab of syrian origin you know someone of my culture. Now I have realised that I am begining to develop some serious feelings for a Somali girl who attends my uni. when I see her, I know that she's the woman of my dreams. I love her smile..the way she moves, talks, her shyness... she's got it all wow. Noww! I have no trouble asking for her hand in marriage but my parents are already planning my own imaginary wedding in their heads:exhausted except that its far from my reality. I am a man I gotta do whatever it takes to make her mine! how will I get the support of my parents? My father believes in nothing called 'mixing'. My mother has a heart of gold i know she will understand. There's a million of stuff running through my head. When I see her all the obstacles beginn to fade, as you can all see this girl has my heart. She's not even my wife yet but she sure is the coolness of my eyes that our rasul (saw) spoke of. I want lots of children, show her the world, make her my queen. Oh Allah my rab help me ameeeen.

:w:

:D Awesome. This is called the 'in-love' syndrome. You're just in love with her physically. Her smile, laughter, face, beauty etc...which could have been avoided had you lowered your gaze..but what's done is done. No benefit in crying over spilt milk. Now what you can do is:

1) Talk to some male member in her family. Dads are scary, so you can see if she has a brother? Or if you have a sister, send her to 'test the waters' and see what the sister is like. If those two are options you can't take, then talk to your mom and get her to talk to the sister. Or talk to your dad and tell him that you've found him a suitable daughter in law. Or if you have a friend whose married, tell him to tell his wife to talk to her and get some info.

Because you can't just marry her based off of the fact that she looks good. Make sure her religion is good too. Get her dad's contact and give it to your dad. Do the honorable thing. :thumbs_up

2) When you see beauty, automatically people assume that everything else is perfect too..just like her beauty. Usually, that's not always the case. You need to see if she's compatible in terms of practicing the religion, her family (if they're going to be cool with it), and a few other factors. Don't let her beauty blind you to more important factors. Attraction is first, but religion is most important!

3) Don't get more emotionally attached than you already are. Because say it doesn't work out, you'll be a wreck, believe me. I know the feeling you're feeling man, and really it's an awesome feeling, but if it doesn't work out..it's real bad.

4) Make lots of dua' for it. Pray Istikhara. Ask Allaah to guide you and to make it easy. Correct the reasons you want to marry her for. Use this time to improve yourself. Read up on marriage and love.

5) Listen to 'Fiqh of Love' by Shaykh Yaser Birjas.
http://store.dar-us-salam.com/M_Family/ME33.html

You can maybe find it online somewhere too.

6) Do these at your own risk: http://forums.almaghrib.org/showthread.php?t=32041
(Not really. Don't do them except #35. :p)

[anonymous]

:w:

:D Awesome. This is called the 'in-love' syndrome. You're just in love with her physically. Her smile, laughter, face, beauty etc...which could have been avoided had you lowered your gaze..but what's done is done. No benefit in crying over spilt milk. Now what you can do is:

1) Talk to some male member in her family. Dads are scary, so you can see if she has a brother? Or if you have a sister, send her to 'test the waters' and see what the sister is like. If those two are options you can't take, then talk to your mom and get her to talk to the sister. Or talk to your dad and tell him that you've found him a suitable daughter in law. Or if you have a friend whose married, tell him to tell his wife to talk to her and get some info.

Because you can't just marry her based off of the fact that she looks good. Make sure her religion is good too. Get her dad's contact and give it to your dad. Do the honorable thing. :thumbs_up

2) When you see beauty, automatically people assume that everything else is perfect too..just like her beauty. Usually, that's not always the case. You need to see if she's compatible in terms of practicing the religion, her family (if they're going to be cool with it), and a few other factors. Don't let her beauty blind you to more important factors. Attraction is first, but religion is most important!

3) Don't get more emotionally attached than you already are. Because say it doesn't work out, you'll be a wreck, believe me. I know the feeling you're feeling man, and really it's an awesome feeling, but if it doesn't work out..it's real bad.

4) Make lots of dua' for it. Pray Istikhara. Ask Allaah to guide you and to make it easy. Correct the reasons you want to marry her for. Use this time to improve yourself. Read up on marriage and love.

5) Listen to 'Fiqh of Love' by Shaykh Yaser Birjas.
http://store.dar-us-salam.com/M_Family/ME33.html

You can maybe find it online somewhere too.

6) Do these at your own risk: http://forums.almaghrib.org/showthread.php?t=32041
(Not really. Don't do them except #35. :p)

:bism::w:

Brother you are the maan! Her religion is tight alright, I done my bit of spying (ofcourse with in limit) Inshallah. I didnt say 'she got all for nuthin' hehe. MashaAllah. I'm ready to approach her Family, the hindrance is my Father. He is quite attached to me. We had conversations about marriage before he blieves that I shouldnt think about marriage until i'm in my late 20's:muddlehea. I am making du3as, when he sees how serious i am he might come around.

Are you sure she'll say yes?

I told her that I will come for her hand in marriage she blushed and basically ran off.:p

She doesnt have brothers, only parents. I need both of my parents support, that way we can all go over there to get the girl, my wife Inshallah.:D Duas people.

Will be back to answer more inshallah.:thumbs_up

[AlexJ90]

seriously, whoever gets their parents to deal with their marriage life is pathetic in my opinion. We are living in the 21st Century, a man can choose his own wife, a woman who he has real feelings for. Come on this is silly