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AnonymousPoster
07-03-2009, 06:17 AM
Salams thanks for taking the time to read my story. Basically last year I met this brother so we've been talking ever since and we were both serious about getting married to one another. Our families both agreed but my father always gave us a hard time simply because of his tribe not because of his education, his faith. my father and i havent been getting along way before the whole marriage thing came up but sadly it became way worse because a boy interferred, i wouldnt say i love the guy but he is a very close family member and i care for him alot imsad and i would consider him to be a really good husband, father, and friend. The main thing i would really need advice on is whether to leave this guy alone and go on with my life or actually take time to try to change my fathers mind even though he doesnt have a clear excuse for rejecting this guy. Before that he rejected so many good religious brothers from my local masjid and he cannot stand religious brothers. Brothers and sisters please give me your sincere advice on what I should do. N sorry for the long message.
Fii Amaanillah.
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S_87
07-03-2009, 02:21 PM
i really cant tell you what to do, sticky situation...may Allah make it easy for you
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جوري
07-04-2009, 05:52 PM
I think you should follow your heart on this one so long as what you are doing is halal.
marriage is about affection and compatibility between two people.. no point in marrying someone else when your heart is elsewhere, it wouldn't be fair to you or your new husband...

see if the local imam can speak to your father, he has no right to dictate to you in a matter so private really. just like he can't force you to marry someone else, he doesn't have a right to tell you whom you shouldn't marry so long as there is no discordance to the laws of Allah swt.

May Allah swt make your affairs easy for you like sis amani said...
It is hard enough to find a suitable partner, why do people make hell of it over trivialities?

:w:
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Ummu Sufyaan
07-05-2009, 02:23 AM
:sl:
Originally Posted by Gossamer skye
see if the local imam can speak to your father, he has no right to dictate to you in a matter so private really. just like he can't force you to marry someone else, he doesn't have a right to tell you whom you shouldn't marry so long as there is no discordance to the laws of Allah swt.
i would have to agree with that. if there is no Islamic reason why he is rejecting these brothers, go to an imam...u don't want have a not so pious authority over you :)
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AntiKarateKid
07-05-2009, 03:45 AM
You're father could be in a clingy phase. Show him that you'll always be there for him even if you're married so that he will be able to let you go.
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Layla454
07-05-2009, 04:18 PM
I agree with sister Gossamer. Get your local Imam involved or someone in your family to talk to him.
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أبو سليمان عمر
07-05-2009, 04:41 PM
First of all, how does she like him. For if it is something that started in haraam then it is better to leave it. Marrige is something u do for the sake of ALlaah, so how can u do it for the sake of Allaah when ur going against what is halaal. And if it started in haraam then tawba must be made(Am not saying that is how it started but if).if it will hurt or break family ties then also she should try to leave it. If it have come to the level that they are in love and feelings are so strong then we know that the prophet said : If there is love between 2 then the only thing left for them is nikaah. She should (first try to leave it for it will be for the best) and if not then she should try to convince her father in a good manner. And maybe ask someone he respects with good knowledge in deen to speak to him. And she should oray Istikhara and ask Allaah to help her. If that dosent work then i would advice her to speak to the local imaam and ask him for advice. wa Allaahu Ta3ala a3lem thats just advice from me. May Allaah forgive us
And Allah knows best
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true believer
07-05-2009, 11:00 PM
sister, what he's doing is totally unfair n wrong. in our deen, we r told to go for deen n character. DEEN. explain to him, surely he wants a good man for u n a man with deen is a ready paid package cos they'd be full of morals n women r like diamonds in islam therefore he would follow dat n treat u well...whilst a dude wizout deen is risky if u want a life commitment. sister, i feel so bad for u cos ur kinda helpless cos its ur dad. but he's wrong for this. in islam, im told parents have to have a valid reason to reject a potenial hubby for the daughter. cant u just ask ur brother as ur wali n mayhram n all? i wish u da best wish. may allah ease ur stress n betta ur situation ameen
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