format_quote Originally Posted by
anonymous
:sl:
I have trouble losing my interest. nothing can keep me interested long enough. before i use to talk to brothers, just emails, fone, usual conversation whn we see each other somewhere (nothing like a date) or anything just a conversation, I kind of spoken to lots of brothers, but I lose interest start looking for another one that can keep me interested. Well it's never going to stop, i'm starting to get use to stop talking to one & start talking to a new one. I think I have trouble being tied down. I meet really nice brothers, but before I know it I lose interest. I'll see one more good looking, one more knowldgable, one who is more down to earth then the one im talking to, and before i know it he's history and a new one is in the picture. I can't continue this after marriage. The truth is marriage is for life, what if i lose interest in a man I hav given myself to after marriage? Am I going to leave him for someone else? I don't want to do that but the truth I know I will lose interest. I have tried so hard to focus on one alone so hard, but it never works out. Ive been engaged before like serious. I broke it off because I hated answering a normal question 'are you single'? I couldn't even say no. I like saying I am single, this is not righ someone help me out.:w:
:wasalamex
First of all, make du'a to Allah to give you a husband who you love and stay interested in, and he does to you too, and that your heart is content with that relationship.
Second, try to keep up with the method of lowering the gaze. Lowering the gaze will make the issue more beautified, i.e. of wanting to be married. And ask the most necessary of questions instead of the details, and that might make the idea more in a form of suspense for you.
Third, try to find a guy who will suit you. So if you don't find it appealing for a guy to always be 'after you' or whose too 'clingy' - then go for someone who is less like this. Someone whose on 'your level' of maturity in this concept.
If you find one who is suitable and fulfills the conditions to what you think you require, then make istikharah, discuss with family and stick with him. And then work your way forward in marriage with him. Because once you get married, you already have alot of issues keeping your mind preoccupied, and as time progresses - alot of newer things keep coming up and you move on from these types of thoughts.. simply because you have to with the changes in life.
These changes in life keep you distracted from thoughts like that, and a relationship with a guy who you agreed with can become stronger during this time period, whereas it can't really be like that before during engagement.
Basically, you gota make the move and jump to see the future - otherwise you won't get anywhere and you'll stay in the same situation without any way out - and your life always on pause.
When women reach a certain age, guys start giving up on them too, especially if a girl has a reputation for rejection. There comes a time when the guys give up, and the woman is the one at loss the most.
Allahu a'lam.