/* */

PDA

View Full Version : my niece wants to become a model



saidah_ahmed
07-05-2009, 07:38 PM
she's 18 and she's had so many offers as she's pretty and tall. i can't make her not do something she doesn't want to do. i've warned her about how she's gonna be desired my men etc. was it God's blessing? after all it's all Allah's decision for this. but i don't want her to be naked when doing photo shoots. what shall i do?
Reply

Login/Register to hide ads. Scroll down for more posts
aadil77
07-05-2009, 08:20 PM
From this its obvious she has been brought up with no kind of islam or concept of hayaa (modesty)?

If this was my daughter I'd knock some sense into the girl, I don't think telling her its haraam would be enough to sort her out, assuming she has no imaan or deen inside her, what else is gonna stop her other than force or morals if she has any?

you've come here obviously to get islamic advice, solving the problem is not going to be that simple, you might be able to stop her from stripping off but she still has to be re/educated about islam so that fear of Allah will prevent her go into other haraam stuff in the future
Reply

Salahudeen
07-05-2009, 10:09 PM
oh man this is very bad, you have to find a way to stop her, does she really want boys/men looking at her pics and lusting after her? thinking inpure thoughts about her? hanging her picture up on their walls? talking about her in a disrespectfull way?

This is very sad like the above poster said the fact that she is considering this shows that she has no imaan does she even believe in Allah and the Qur'an???

If this was my daughter I'd lock her in her bedroom and not let her leave the house, it's just really hard almost impossible to convince someone who has no consideration for what is haraam and halal.

How did the parents let her become this way?? does she not feel embarressed that her family members will see possibly see the pics, like her brothers, her father, and her uncles?

does it not embarress her that they will see her posing infront of a camera for some man flaunting her body and assets in an improper manner? is she comfortable with this? try to convince her of the impact it will have upon the rest of the family like the male members for example if she has brothers who are in school, it would be a living nightmare for them. For example one day they could see 1 of their class mates looking at pictures of her and saying disgusting stuff about what they would do to her if they had the chance.

that apply's to any situation what would you do if you found your friends looking at her pictures and talking about her in a sexual/lustful manner? it would be even worse if they knew she was your niece.

try telling her these things and see if it has any impact upon her, tell her the nature of men and how they talk about women who pose for the camera.

tell her you don't want men talking about her in a disgusting way and sizing her up don't sugar coat it be frank with her "do you really want men talking to each other after lookig at your pics and talking about what they would do to you in bed?"

I know it's an uncomfortable conversation to have with your niece but you have to convince her by telling her the facts.
Reply

Banu_Hashim
07-05-2009, 10:25 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by aadil77
From this its obvious she has been brought up with no kind of islam or concept of hayaa (modesty), pakistani?

If this was my daughter I'd knock some sense into the girl, I don't think telling her its haraam would be enough to sort her out, assuming she has no imaan or deen inside her, what else is gonna stop her then other than force or morals if she has any?
You can't blame her upbringing and parents straight away. You don't even know the situation first hand, her parents may have tried, but perhaps to no avail.

If this was my daughter I would not allow her to do the modelling, because first off, it's not permissible for anyone outside her family to be to be looking at her, and as a Muslim girl she should be showing modesty (this applies to men as well not just women). She may view it as harsh, but obviously then she doesn't understand the true reality of the situation and what it might lead to.

Tell her it's un-acceptable and not an Islamic way to behave, and tell her it in a nice way, so that she doesn't lose respect for her authority figures (her parents, aunts etc.).

Just a hadith to remind us, not to always assume the worst of people:

Narrated By Abu Huraira: Allah’s Apostle said, “A prostitute was forgiven by Allah, because, passing a panting dog near a well and seeing that the dog was about to die of thirst, she took off her shoe, and tying it with her head cover she drew out some water for it. So, Allah forgave her because of that.”
Vol 4, Book 56., Hadith 673 (Sahih Bukhari)
Reply

Welcome, Guest!
Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up
Intisar
07-05-2009, 10:41 PM
:sl: Sometimes women do like men lusting after them, it makes them feel wanted. :><:

You should mention to her that the modelling industry is mostly about being obsessed with your body, you have to be nearly perfect is shape. Nearly perfect is basically a pre-pubescent 12 year old boy. There's a lot of drug abuse in the modelling industry as well as cigarette-smoking. And most designers are gay. If you call yourself a Muslim, how can you be around such an environment? I wonder, is the income from modelling considered halal? :ermm:
Reply

alcurad
07-05-2009, 10:53 PM
walking around and posing in various states of undress is not exactly very constructive work, she should continue her education and make something out of her self.
on the other hand the ego of any girl her age will be quite enthralled by such offers, parenting or upbringing probably had to do with it, but what's done is done. it's got to do with peer pressure/media as much as anything else at least.

give her time to think about it, what is she good for other than her looks? what does she like/want/aspire to do in her life?
speaking of models, who is/are her role models, people she admires or tries to emulate, as well as those whom she confides in, or listens to>those are probably going to be the focal point in shaping her decision.
Reply

saidah_ahmed
07-06-2009, 06:52 AM
i'm sorry but her mother died, and i had to bring her up. her mother and I got along but she's more westernixed than i am and her upbringing is different with her mother. if she was my daughter, i would have told her when she started walking. please don't blame me. her mother is westernised and even though her mother did say its not good, my niece rebelled.
Reply

Ummu Sufyaan
07-06-2009, 09:38 AM
^if she is under your authority and you have the opportunity to stop her from being used etc, then grab it with both hands!
Reply

aadil77
07-06-2009, 09:44 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Umm ul-Shaheed
^iof she is under your authority and you have the opportunity to stop her from being used etc, then grab it with both hands!
That what I was thinking, If she is living in your house then she's gonna have to follow your rules. If she had had an islamic tarbiyyah from the start then you would most likely not be having this problem, I suggest that whilst shes living with you, you send her to an islamic academy or madressa so that she learns some modesty and basics of islam because once she leaves home nothings gonna stop her from going down the wrong path and screwing up in many other ways.
Reply

- IqRa -
07-06-2009, 10:16 AM
To the first poster: Get her married.
Reply

'Abd-al Latif
07-06-2009, 10:49 AM
I would like to talk about this issue a little openly because I feel this topic can be a little sensative for those who are nieve and new to this ugly career. Sometimes people may not come to terms with the seriousness of what they are getting involved in so I want to touch up on this topic by going directly to the source. So if I say something inappropriate, please forgive me.

The professional female models are some of the most corrupt of people. Not to mention that a models career is hard and sometimes depressing. Try to imagine an aspiring model, who has a good look and she has been invited to participate in 3 big castings the same day. In every casting agents are ready to see from 150 to 200 female models and they need to choose one or two – the best ones. It’s not hard to imagine that after few such days when you do your best, but no one want to hire you as a model – you will start to feel depressed of course.

During modeling travels sometimes young models beginners go to work abroad for the first time in their life. And they spend several months in foreign country – they have to learn to live alone and independently from their parents, family and friends. It happens that for some models it is hard to stay away from relatives and close friends for some longer time – they miss them and start to know the feeling of home-sick.

Despite this there is one more very important for personality aspect. That is giving up your own principles. Models work requires doing a lot of things that they are being told to do. Imagine anyone who always listens to someone higher, more powerful and do every little thing he/she says. It is very hard for people, who have strong character and inspiring personality. Moreover sometimes models have to pose or look as they hate to look – that is also affecting a person negatively, because models start to feel as a dolls being used for something that “owner” (I mean person who is giving commands) wants.

Everyone knows that one of the most important things in the modeling work is good physical shape and body measurements. That means models have to take good care of their body and sometimes to be on a diet. There are some girls who don’t face this problem, but there are some who can easily gain some more weight than they need. When that happens models who want to get on stage– have to change their eating habits and loose those kilograms. Sometimes that is very hard to do and cause a lot of grief for models.

Now getting a little deeper into this subject and onto the ugly side of this career which is actually the reality of this career, there are many, many, many shady agencies. They are run by scam artists who are only interested in taking every last penny you have. They prey on the dreams of young people in order to make themselves rich and the victims are left with nothing. Worse still are the pornography agencies who present themselves as legitimate modelling businesses. They sign girls up and then slowly brainwash them into thinking they have to 'do certain things' to make it. Over time they use peer pressure to convince the girls that nudity is a part of the business and that this is the easy way to make lots of money. Of course there is nothing 'easy' about a life involved with such a business. Not to mention, pornography is not modelling.

As a model you are considered a 'product' not a person. (Especially in the beginning when you are still an unknown.) As such people tend to talk AT you not TO you. Sometimes agents and photographers will talk about you as if you are not standing in the same room. For anyone lacking confidence in themselves this can be very disconcerting and upsetting. Usually there will be comments about your physical appearance. These can be quite harsh and demeaning which is why the industry has been plagued with issues related to eating disorders. Given the recent deaths of some prominent models views on weight and beauty are slowly starting to change and the introduction of BMI testing will help in this area. However, this is still an industry where unrealistic expectations of "beauty" abound. You have to be very grounded within yourself to allow these comments to pass by you and not to affect you.

Another dark side to the modelling business is the rampant drug use. Models are given and have free access to all manner of illicit substances. Sometimes these are used to keep weight off. Sometimes they are used to stay awake and alert for shoots or shows that occur at all times of the day and night. Sometimes it is the social pressure to party and fit in that causes young models to try these damaging narcotics. The official party line from the industry is that this kind of behavior is not tolerated. However, models who are currently working within this business consistently tell a different story.

So in conclusion; Ask her if this is the lowly life she wants to live.

I hope and pray that she does not become involved in this filthy and discusting career.

w/salam
Reply

mathematician
07-08-2009, 08:57 PM
If your niece wants to burn in Hell then this is the kind of career she should go for.
Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him said that there are some types of people who
will go to hell that he has not seen. One of those he said are women who have clothes on but yet they are naked.
Sister, it is a serious sin for women to display their bodies to strangers.
You can warn her but most likely your opinion will not have much value because Allah says in the Qur'an that "The reminder will be received by him who fears, But it will be avoided by the wretched, who will enter the great Fire. There he will neither die nor live."
Reply

GuestFellow
07-08-2009, 11:15 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by saidah_ahmed
she's 18 and she's had so many offers as she's pretty and tall. i can't make her not do something she doesn't want to do. i've warned her about how she's gonna be desired my men etc. was it God's blessing? after all it's all Allah's decision for this. but i don't want her to be naked when doing photo shoots. what shall i do?

Salaam.

You need to make her sit down and talk to her clearly the reality of the modelling industry, what our religion states and how her doing modelling will have a negative impact on her life.

It is not a good career. She will be constantly criticised the way she looks, they will enforce upon her dietary plans which are not going to be healthy and she is going to become more self-conscious. She will become depressed. Heard of size 0 models?

Tell her, does she want to be used? Her body is the tool for this industry. If she is doing editorial modelling, she will be told at some later point in her career to take nude photo shoots. If she does commercial, very likely she will have to take photos with another man. There are drugs involved in this Industry. Tell her if she cares for her honour and her body, she would not expose her body. If she has respect for herself, she would walk away from modelling.

It would be better if you get a good Muslim sister to talk to her. Might have more of an impact.

Good luck...I will pray for things to go well.
Reply

IslamicRevival
07-08-2009, 11:38 PM
Salaam. Looks like shaytan has weaved his magic once again!

Only advice i can give you is to be strong and warn her about the grave consequences.

May Allah SWT guide her and help you in this time of difficulty
Reply

GuestFellow
07-09-2009, 12:59 AM
Try to find out why she wants to model in the first place? Ask her what is she hope to achieve? She probably need a good role model in her life.
Reply

جوري
07-09-2009, 04:26 AM
I am not sure what to add here.. modeling is an acceptable form of prostitution...
I can't imagine anyone finding it flattering, you are just a slap of meat that markets products..
sob7an Allah, I had a Russian friend who was supposedly Muslim, who got into modeling when we were young teenagers, thankfully they didn't want her for long and she was really crushed..

May I recommend that you ought to be candid with her.. I think you probably handled her with kid gloves to over-compensate for the loss of her mother.. but you know she is an amana that your sister entrusted to you.. I obviously can't expect a teenage girl to think on an adult level... all they want is autonomy and money and freedom to do what they want.. sadly many go down that path but don't experiment for a month or two but lose everything... their dignity, their self-worth, a decent education, they become objectified, they don't know who they are if not for the lewed glances they get.

sob7an Allah...
may Allah swt make this easy for you..

:w:
Reply

AntiKarateKid
07-09-2009, 04:29 AM
Get her to pray more and find a better looking sister that doesn't want to be a model to show her a lesson?:X
Reply

- IqRa -
07-09-2009, 10:08 AM
She probably wants to be 'appreciated'...for who she is as a person sister...therefore if you get her married...she will be...as a person and her body...
Reply

Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 10
    Last Post: 03-06-2013, 11:28 AM
  2. Replies: 32
    Last Post: 02-02-2011, 10:40 PM
  3. Replies: 11
    Last Post: 03-01-2010, 04:42 PM
  4. Replies: 19
    Last Post: 09-10-2009, 10:47 AM
  5. Replies: 0
    Last Post: 11-12-2006, 06:43 PM
British Wholesales - Certified Wholesale Linen & Towels | Holiday in the Maldives

IslamicBoard

Experience a richer experience on our mobile app!