enaged and marriage?

[Bub]

what is difference between engaged and marriage? just explain simply rules :bump1: thanks!

[Asiyah3]

what is difference between engaged and marriage? just explain simply rules :bump1: thanks!

Well when you're married you can do whatever you want with your partner +you live together

[Rabi'ya]

:sl:

could you then say that engaged is just an intention to marry. As far as I know there is no concept of engagement within Islam as any intention can either happen or not happen as everything i up to Allah. So until you are married you are still complete strangers to each other.

[Aliyah206]

assalamu alykum

i guess it all depends on how you define engagment.(to me nikkah=engagement)..
i say if the couples have nikkah then they re officially married...

wallahu allam

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[Brasco]

Well, I got also a few questions :D actually I did not care about those things :D


When I have nikkah with the person I want to get married, can I hug her? Well, other questions will follow insha'allah :D

[Banu_Hashim]

Engaged... you just plan to get married. Some people get engaged, but the marriage eventually doesn't go through. So you can't really spend all that much time together alone without the girl's mahram.

Married... you're stuck with the person :D, and can do what ever you please :).

[Pk_#2]

Well, I got also a few questions :D actually I did not care about those things :D


When I have nikkah with the person I want to get married, can I hug her? Well, other questions will follow insha'allah :D

Engaged... you just plan to get married. Some people get engaged, but the marriage eventually doesn't go through.

Married... you're stuck with the person :D.

:thumbs_do

She will still be your non-mahram..

[Banu_Hashim]

:thumbs_do

She will still be your non-mahram..

Yes... I don't know where you got that she won't be from my post ??

[Pk_#2]

Yes... I don't know where you got that she won't be from my post ??

Ohhh loq! Akh you're confused, I quoted you because you answered bro Brasco indirectly, I wanted him to understand that he cannot hug her until after marriage, that is EXACTLY why people shouldn't be engaged for several centuries (Exaggeration).

[Brasco]

The only thing, I can do to hug her, is to marry her?

[Pk_#2]

The only thing, I can do to hug her, is to marry her?

When you marry her, you get to hug her & do all sorts of extra lovvy dovvy stuff :-[, as well as completing half your deen, All the best bro!

[Brasco]

Insha'allahu ta'ala, I'll marry her as soon as possible :D when we marry, is it right that we live apart. She at her parents' and me at mine?

[Banu_Hashim]

^no problem in that inshallah. As long as it isn't forever!

[Brasco]

Insha'allah not forever :D just as long as we finish our studies insha'allah! and then we will live together insha'allah! May allah ta'ala reward you!! :D

[sarah85]

I do not think an engagement is really part of Islam in the way that people do a big celebration...I spose by engagement you mean when the two people in question have agreed to get married to each other hence they are engaged?

[Pk_#2]

Insha'allahu ta'ala, I'll marry her as soon as possible :D when we marry, is it right that we live apart. She at her parents' and me at mine?

InshaAllaah! :statisfie Why do you wana live away from her? When you marry her she has rights to you, just as you have rights to her, theres no point in getting married if you're living away from eachother... Why don't you live together? Or bring her to your parents house?

[Brasco]

I do not think an engagement is really part of Islam in the way that people do a big celebration...I spose by engagement you mean when the two people in question have agreed to get married to each other hence they are engaged?

That's right!! she wants engagement, but to me there is no sense!! I just want marriage insha'allah! and all will be fine! :D

[sarah85]

That's right!! she wants engagement, but to me there is no sense!! I just want marriage insha'allah! and all will be fine! :D

Yes it is not a good idea to delay an engagement for too long. Perhaps you should ask her what her reasons are for prolonging it and try to overcome them.

[Brasco]

InshaAllaah! :statisfie Why do you wana live away from her? When you marry her she has rights to you, just as you have rights to her, theres no point in getting married if you're living away from eachother... Why don't you live together? Or bring her to your parents house?

I really do not want to live far away from her :( I always miss her so much :( It is just, alhamdulillah I have a big family, 8 persons, and our house is very small. There will be no place :( Of course, it would be great, if we could live together. And insha'allah after finishing our studies, we would decide where to live. :D

[Brasco]

Yes it is not a good idea to delay an engagement for too long. Perhaps you should ask her what her reasons are for prolonging it and try to overcome them.

Well, she says, it will show that we love each other :S but to me it means nothing :S but if she truly wants it, we will do it, I mean, I fine with everything unless she is happy

[catalzzy]

what about marriage certificate? does that nothing to do with nikkah?

[S_87]

Well, I got also a few questions :D actually I did not care about those things :D


When I have nikkah with the person I want to get married, can I hug her? Well, other questions will follow insha'allah :D

when you have the nikah done, you are married whether youre living together or not so yes u can hug her...

[Brasco]

when you have the nikah done, you are married whether youre living together or not so yes u can hug her...

but the other brother said, that it is not possible :S now I am confused! is not nikah a part of marriage ?? :S

[S_87]

yes nikah IS the marriage- the nikah marries you to her...as the nikah is done she is Islamically your wife...so you CAN hug/etc her

[sarah85]

Well, she says, it will show that we love each other :S but to me it means nothing :S but if she truly wants it, we will do it, I mean, I fine with everything unless she is happy

Tell her marriage will show how much you love each other...an engagement is a pale imitation. Technically you are engaged as you have both agreed to get married (and also if your parents have agreed). So now you just need to set a date to get married:D You are technically engaged till you get married.

[Brasco]

yes nikah IS the marriage- the nikah marries you to her...as the nikah is done she is Islamically your wife...so you CAN hug/etc her

Ah, okay!! now I got it :D thank you sis!! may allah ta'ala reward you!!

[Brasco]

Tell her marriage will show how much you love each other...an engagement is a pale imitation. Technically you are engaged as you have both agreed to get married (and also if your parents have agreed). So now you just need to set a date to get married:D You are technically engaged till you get married.

What if the parents are against the marriage? will I be allowed to marry her still? :S

[Asiyah3]

but the other brother said, that it is not possible :S now I am confused! is not nikah a part of marriage ?? :S

salaamu aleykum, bro. Before marriage you can't hug her. I believe the others meant that after engagement you can't touch her (before you're married).

I

[sarah85]

What if the parents are against the marriage? will I be allowed to marry her still? :S

Well her dad needs to be in agreement as she needs a wali for the marriage to be valid. However Islamically you do not need your parents permission as men do not require a wali.

[Abdul Fattah]

Selam aleykum
some people see the nikah as engagement, and then the weddingparty or government wedding as the real wedding. This however is not the Islamic position. In Islam there's only two status. Either you didn't yet have the nikah (=Islamic wedding), in which case you are non-mahram to each other, and the normal rules of conduct apply, just as they apply to any given stranger. Or you had the nikah meaning, that from an Islamic perspective you are already husband and wife.

Although of course one can, in words, express their desire and intent to marry, such an "engagement" doesn't have any bearing on the rules of Islam, on what is allowed and what isn't allowed.

[Brasco]

salaamu aleykum, bro. Before marriage you can't hug her. I believe the others meant that after engagement you can't touch her (before you're married).

I

I know that I can not hug her before that :D cuz even I can not shake her hand how can I hug her now ??!! Insha'allah after marriage I can hug her as long as I want :D

[Brasco]

Well her dad needs to be in agreement as she needs a wali for the marriage to be valid. However Islamically you do not need your parents permission as men do not require a wali.

if my parents are against it, and they are not happy with it, so it is like that I sin?! :S there is a hadith which says, that allah ta'alla will accept nothing of us unless the parents are happy with us....:(

[Brasco]

Selam aleykum
some people see the nikah as engagement, and then the weddingparty or government wedding as the real wedding. This however is not the Islamic position. In Islam there's only two status. Either you didn't yet have the nikah (=Islamic wedding), in which case you are non-mahram to each other, and the normal rules of conduct apply, just as they apply to any given stranger. Or you had the nikah meaning, that from an Islamic perspective you are already husband and wife.

Although of course one can, in words, express their desire and intent to marry, such an "engagement" doesn't have any bearing on the rules of Islam, on what is allowed and what isn't allowed.

no no no, I do not care the government wedding things or having a party :D

[sarah85]

if my parents are against it, and they are not happy with it, so it is like that I sin?! :S there is a hadith which says, that allah ta'alla will accept nothing of us unless the parents are happy with us....:(

Yes one should keep parents happy and obey them but when it comes to marriage I think its different. Men do not require their parents permission therefore it is no sin on them to get married without their parents permission. Yes they should get the advice of their parents as its always good to do so and involve their parents in their marriage as anyone would want to. I am sure you can talk your parents around...most parents are lovely like that and because they love us only want our happiness:)

[Ar-RaYYan]

Maybe I am naive but i was shocked recently when i heard that some people have engagement parties :exhausted

[KiWi]

^ there’s nothing shocking abt it
now a days, its very common
not only do they have engagement parties, they have bridal showers as well
in my opinion, they are big waste of money n time

[Ar-RaYYan]

^ there’s nothing shocking abt it
now a days, its very common
not only do they have engagement parties, they have bridal showers as well
in my opinion, they are big waste of money n time

but its kind of shocking when those who are doing it happen to be practising.
yeah weddings are expensive as its why go and waste money on these fitna things as most of these engagement parties tend to be mixed

[KiWi]

but its kind of shocking when those who are doing it happen to be practising.

oh, i see how it would be shocking to u
assuming that it doesn’t happen in ur community?
in my community, many practicing ppl do have engagement parties/bridal showers n all other nonsense

yeah weddings are expensive as its why go and waste money on these fitna things as most of these engagement parties tend to be mixed

that’s so true
nice way to build up sins after sins

[Ar-RaYYan]

oh, i see how it would be shocking to u
assuming that it doesn’t happen in ur community?

It depends by what you mean by 'community'? people from the same culture or range of different cultures and races of people living in the same area?

for the first part im not sure. i havent witnessed anyone doing it yet and the latter i have heard that they do it as most people who dont practice tend to but i was kind of surprised that someone i know (who practise the deen btw) will be doing it coz it has become a 'family thing'

[Cabdullahi]

bridal showers

what the heck is bridal shower?!......the bride doesnt wash herself for a year and then when its engagement time she has a shower??

[KiWi]

It depends by what you mean by 'community'? people from the same culture or range of different cultures and races of people living in the same area?

for the first part im not sure. i havent witnessed anyone doing it yet and the latter i have heard that they do it as most people who dont practice tend to but i was kind of surprised that someone i know (who practise the deen btw) will be doing it coz it has become a 'family thing'

when i say "community", i meant the place (city/town) u live

n yeah, i knew wat u meant by "ppl who practice"
like i said, its common in some places

[KiWi]

what the heck is bridal shower?!......the bride doesnt wash herself for a year and then when its engagement time she has a shower??

:laugh: LOL
r u for real akhee?!! lol
n NO,
bridal shower is when a bunch of girls/women get together n have some sorta party
i have no idea y they call it a "bridal shower"

[Ar-RaYYan]

what the heck is bridal shower?!......the bride doesnt wash herself for a year and then when its engagement time she has a shower??

lol
basically its another version of hen party

[Beardo]

what the heck is bridal shower?!......the bride doesnt wash herself for a year and then when its engagement time she has a shower??

I thought a bridal shower is when you have a baby or something. Or a few months before you have a baby. :X

[- IqRa -]

Well, I got also a few questions :D actually I did not care about those things :D


When I have nikkah with the person I want to get married, can I hug her? Well, other questions will follow insha'allah :D

Of course you can. You can do anything with her because islamically she is your wife! Islamically, when you have done your nikkah, she belongs to you.

[Banu_Hashim]

lol
basically its another version of hen party

In indo-pak culture I think it's called a mehndi party. For the girls... but nowadays people make too much of a big deal out of it.

[Ansariyah]

what the heck is bridal shower?!......the bride doesnt wash herself for a year and then when its engagement time she has a shower??

:rollseyes

Bridal shower is like the hennah party, the girl gets all prettied up n stuff. But then some cultures differ on when they do it.

I thought a bridal shower is when you have a baby or something. Or a few months before you have a baby. :X

No thats called a Baby'Shower.

[Cabdullahi]

[QUOTE=Yanoorah;1185075]:rollseyes

the girl gets all prettied up n stuff. But then some cultures differ on when they do it.


QUOTE]

so in some cultures the bride waits 2 or even 3 years before she takes a bath and is ''prettied'' up

bridal shower was it practised before in the times of the prophet??!!

[Bub]

Thank you everybody!!! The reason of my question is that i want to getting marry to a guy inshaAllah but my family is against it so i though engaged should stop them to control my life. LOL my mother think im too young and i told her that ISLAMIC people can marry as long as they are happy. Prophet Mohammed married PBUH a young girl, i forget her name, am i right?

[Brasco]

Thank you everybody!!! The reason of my question is that i want to getting marry to a guy inshaAllah but my family is against it so i though engaged should stop them to control my life. LOL my mother think im too young and i told her that ISLAMIC people can marry as long as they are happy. Prophet Mohammed married PBUH a young girl, i forget her name, am i right?

yep thats right! her name was aisha (r) :)

[Bub]

yep thats right! her name was aisha (r) :)

:D thank you, bro... my family said education is come first and said i could marry in four years time :exhausted

[Brasco]

:D thank you, bro... my family said education is come first and said i could marry in four years time :exhausted

Actually, we're in the same situation :D Her parents say to her that it is too early for marriage :D But insha'allah we can marry quickly :D

Of course, we should care our studies and so on, but all will be fine insha'allah! We'll be that what is decreed for us :D

:bump1:

[Bub]

Actually, we're in the same situation :D Her parents say to her that it is too early for marriage :D But insha'allah we can marry quickly :D

Of course, we should care our studies and so on, but all will be fine insha'allah! We'll be that what is decreed for us :D

:bump1:

Yeah i knooow, brother! i went like wow, that brother is in the same situation as me. Im 18 years old and my family think im too young! they want me to focus on education not a husband. Yeh InshaAllah, so your family let you to marry her or...? In my other post, a sister says i should talk to Iman maybe you can ask Iman for a help?? InshaAllah Allah will help us

[aadil77]

For girls 18 isn't too young, there was an advice thread here where a sis got married at 16. I think for men its about being old enough to have the means to support your wife.

[Bub]

For girls 18 isn't too young, there was an advice thread here where a sis got married at 16. I think for men its about being old enough to have the means to support your wife.

Exactly! 18th is an adult, why is getting marry so difficult? imsad look at Christian, girlfriend/boyfriend so easy so marry should be easy for Muslim i think my family is influenced by western culture. thanks i will check thread out

[Brasco]

Yeah i knooow, brother! i went like wow, that brother is in the same situation as me. Im 18 years old and my family think im too young! they want me to focus on education not a husband. Yeh InshaAllah, so your family let you to marry her or...? In my other post, a sister says i should talk to Iman maybe you can ask Iman for a help?? InshaAllah Allah will help us

She asked her parents and they said that she was too young for marriage. So far now, I've only asked my mom and she only smilied :D For now, my parents went to Iraq and they'll return in September, and at that time I will ask them again and I want a clear answer but I guess, my parents will be again marrying (this) early :D Insha'allah all will be okay!

[Ibn Abi Ahmed]

what the heck is bridal shower?!......the bride doesnt wash herself for a year and then when its engagement time she has a shower??

No young padawan, it is when she gets showered with gifts. I think :p

[Bub]

She asked her parents and they said that she was too young for marriage. So far now, I've only asked my mom and she only smilied :D For now, my parents went to Iraq and they'll return in September, and at that time I will ask them again and I want a clear answer but I guess, my parents will be again marrying (this) early :D Insha'allah all will be okay!

Yeh, im in the same shoe as her imsad HAHA, a good sign from ur mother's smile and InshaAllah they enjoyin themselves... fingers crossed for u! inshaAllah :thumbs_up

p.s. i spoke 2 my aunt and she said im too young but i blah blah about muslim and she said yes its allowed to marry early

[catalzzy]

p.s. i spoke 2 my aunt and she said im too young but i blah blah about muslim and she said yes its allowed to marry early

it dosent make sense. lol. are they restricting your age?

eh, if allowed to marry early. then marry..

[Bub]

it dosent make sense. lol. are they restricting your age?

eh, if allowed to marry early. then marry..

she said focus on education blah blah... i know... *confused*

[Bub]

She asked her parents and they said that she was too young for marriage. So far now, I've only asked my mom and she only smilied :D For now, my parents went to Iraq and they'll return in September, and at that time I will ask them again and I want a clear answer but I guess, my parents will be again marrying (this) early :D Insha'allah all will be okay!

i forget to ask, how old is she?

[Brasco]

one month ago she became 18, and I am 20 :D :bump1:

[Bub]

one month ago she became 18, and I am 20 :D :bump1:

18 isnt too young! mashaAllah, hope thing goes well for you inshaAllah

[Brasco]

Thanks sister! I'll make du'a for you and me!! Insha'allah all will be okay!! :cry:

[Bub]

Thanks sister! I'll make du'a for you and me!! Insha'allah all will be okay!! :cry:

Thanks, u will in my prayer too InshaAllah Allah will make it easy for us... i realise getting married is hard- not easy i thought it would be imsad

[Brasco]

Yep, that's right! but it is just the course of life :D btw. where do you live??

[Bub]

Yep, that's right! but it is just the course of life :D btw. where do you live??

Yes but we must fight, we shouldnt give up just bec people say so. Look at Christian, boyfriend/girlfriend is easy, why cant getting married easy for Muslim too? :cry: i live in UK... i see that ur live in Germany, a nice place mashaAllah, i visited there for summer last year, lot of people in there convert to Islamic MashaAllah

[Brasco]

Well, I guess, it is also easy for muslims to marry :) but the parents are just too worried. they want us to be happy! they want us to keep a good life! they want us to have a good future! You may now that phrase: "Trust in Allah ta'ala, but tie your camel first"

Of course I want to get married right now :D hahah

[Bub]

Well, I guess, it is also easy for muslims to marry :) but the parents are just too worried. they want us to be happy! they want us to keep a good life! they want us to have a good future! You may now that phrase: "Trust in Allah ta'ala, but tie your camel first"

Of course I want to get married right now :D hahah

Maybe ur right, but we are adults, aren't we? Of course, we have to be patient and we cant do anything to change our families' mind expect Allah. Me too, brother. Maybe Engaged would be good? :D Its good to know other person is on the same page as me, i though me and my partner soon to be inshaAllah are the only one LOL :-[

[Brasco]

but being engaged will not help us much :D the situation will be still the same :D

[Bub]

but being engaged will not help us much :D the situation will be still the same :D

I know- better than nothing, isnt it? inshaAllah it will help families 2 back off :p

[Brasco]

Yep that's right!! insha'allah all will be okay!! I can not wait having kids :D

[Bub]

Yep that's right!! insha'allah all will be okay!! I can not wait having kids :D

Excatly, its what im planning to do wiv my partner soon to be :statisfie InshaAllah, awww bless u!

[Beardo]

:rollseyes

Bridal shower is like the hennah party, the girl gets all prettied up n stuff. But then some cultures differ on when they do it.



No thats called a Baby'Shower.

Oh right. How'd I get that confused..

[Yanal]

:sl:

Engaged is the step before getting married,and married is when you both are halal for each other.

:w:

[Yanal]

:sl:

Engaged is the step before getting married,and married is when you both are halal for each other.

:w:

[AbuSalahudeen]

Salam,

The problem here is terminology, translation and understanding. When using the word Engaged/Engagement and Marriage in the english language they have a specific meaning, and the words Niqah, Maher and Walima in the arabic language have a specfic meaning.

Alot of people translate Niqah as engagement which is totally incorrect, engagement is the period before the actually wedding cermony takes place (interms of english tradition), and Niqah on the other hand is the actual contract/agreement between the two parties and on its completion makes the couple husband and wife. The actual "Wedding" is a party/walimah, which is a occasion of celebration. There is also a narration were the prophet (saw) encouraged the women to beat the drums so the community know they are married and not commiting zina.

[Bub]

Salam,

The problem here is terminology, translation and understanding. When using the word Engaged/Engagement and Marriage in the english language they have a specific meaning, and the words Niqah, Maher and Walima in the arabic language have a specfic meaning.

Alot of people translate Niqah as engagement which is totally incorrect, engagement is the period before the actually wedding cermony takes place (interms of english tradition), and Niqah on the other hand is the actual contract/agreement between the two parties and on its completion makes the couple husband and wife. The actual "Wedding" is a party/walimah, which is a occasion of celebration. There is also a narration were the prophet (saw) encouraged the women to beat the drums so the community know they are married and not commiting zina.

:statisfie Thanks for telling me that, i do not know about it at all! :embarrass