please HELP!!!

[AnonymousPoster]

i am faced with a situation n i dont know wat else to do after praying istikhara, i still feel like whatever i am doing or feeling is wrong. i am 22 and still in college, a muslim guy 28 working with my uncle asks for my hand, i tell him i am not ready but will think abt it,i am still in college and want to achiev samfn.
my mother and father live in another country,my mom doesnt like the family of this guy, my dad is very upset saying my uncle is trying to gv me away without consulting him, for no one has told him anything yet. and my uncle already talked to this guy about the date....!!!a yar from now!!!!!
i havnt met this guy, i hated the whole issue and whoever brot it, but decided to seek Allah's guidance, and having mixed feelings,, wouldnt want to displease my parents, Never EVER! yet i also feel i might refuse for the wrong reasons, soory not being choosy but he aint the man of my dreams. he wants my word...... too long a story but tooooooo confused a sister
pliz help i dont know wat im thinkin n feelin is right dddddunooo

[- IqRa -]

Tell your uncle you wish to see him before any further action is taken.

[mathematician]

salamu 'alaykum,
When it comes to choosing a partner for marriage, one has to grow out of the "I want to please my parents" theme that we learn as kids. This is a decision that will affect you for the rest of your life, so act mature and make your own decision. You don't need mom and dad to choose your husband. The rest of us who choose our partners even though at the beginning our parents were against it are not bad kids, are we? :)

[Cabdullahi]

the language is killing me

BUT nonetheless this is my advice its not your uncle`s marriage its not your parents marriage....but rather its your marriage.....so take advice from those who bore you but make the last decision yours..and ask allah alone for help

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[Ibn Abi Ahmed]

:sl:

i havnt met this guy

i hated the whole issue and whoever brot it

Then honestly, don't do anything rash or dumb (which you will regret later) because you feel pressured into it by your Uncle. If you do not want to marry the guy, then you don't have to, no matter what anyone says, no matter who they are. Islamic Law gives you the right to say 'no' - and by all means, don't be afraid to use it.

Just take the time and look at it rationally and talk it over with people, take their advice (it is valuable if sincere), but you make the final decision.

[Ummu Sufyaan]

:sl:
i feel sorry for the ones went through the trouble of raising you and everything, and yet arent really being taken into consideration in a matter like this. :(

if you don't like the guy (and judging by what you said in your post, you don't?), then don't go ahead with it.

[qarasz]

Assalamu allikum...........

Its absolutely not one person choice to marry another...mutual consent is needed for that.

He has said his opinion, so you should give quick opinion to your parents & uncle before further progress. So u can stop and go ahead with your family& studies till next proposal...........

Firm up ur belief in allah......"he is the only decider, no other can decide. "
believe in this /fate....make ur effort from ur side

[femida]

I have a strong feeling that one of my family member has done some sort of black magic or something on another. Basically, one of my family member used to dislike another for many reasons e.g. the other using up all their money, going to casinos, being aggressive etc. Suddenly, the one who used to hate the other became close to them, laughed with them and it's very strange. I love the family member (who I think has had black magic on them) a lot. The one that has done the black magic is taking advantage of the other. I'm really confused and hurt.