Need advice

[saazeez]

Assalamu Alaikum.

We are two brothers and alhumdulillah married, settled in different cities. My mother expired four years ago. My father lives in our native place. He visits us once in a month but stays only for 4-5 days maximum. He is very stubborn and wishes to stay at our native place because he says he has his friends, brothers and other family members there.He lives alone, cooks self and does all household activities himself, which we dont like. We keep sending him money for his livelihood. The problem is my relatives and other known people at our native place keep telling us that we are not doing good by leaving our father alone and talks all bad about we brothers. We are in a helpless situation. My father doesnt even tell us when he falls ill. People who see him feels sorry for him and thinks that the sons, though in a very good position doesnt lookafter their father. Both me and my brother have good jobs and are well settled. our native place is a very small town and we cant afford to leave our jobs to live there. Please guide/suggest me what islam says in a situation like this. Are we really treating our father bad?

Jazakallah khairun

[aadil77]

Walaykum Asalam

From the sounds of it you obviously don't have wrong intentions. Theres nothing wrong with the fact that you've moved out with your family to different cities. If your father isn't telling you about his health and other things, then he probably doesnt want to bother you. I think you should try and see if your father is willing to marry again, that way he will have a partner and not be alone. About the backchat from others, carry on sending him money making sure its enough and tell him to clear up these problems with those people as theres nothing more you can do to help him.
See if you can visit him more often to see how he's going and how his standards of living are etc.

[ahmed_indian]

it depends on ur intentions. if ur intentions are good, Allah will not punish u. if u cant help him, Allah will not ask u about things which u r not able to do.

may Allah reward u for ur kindess towards ur father and help u out. tell ur relatives about the situation, if possible.

[GuestFellow]

Assalamu Alaikum.

Well to me you have good intentions. You are sending him money which shows that you do care for him.

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[Faye]

Islam is very strong on maintaining family ties and doing your responsibilities, even when the person you wish to keep ties with does not wish to and will not uphold his side of the rights thing.

Children owe their parents support and care in their old age. You guys are obviously doing the support bit, but maybe you should arrange for some form of care for him. Maybe somebody else in the family can live with your father, or you can arrange for some nurse/caretaker type person to stay with him in case he is ill.

There is a lot of ajr (good reward) for the person who cares for and recieves the blessing of his old infirm parents, and major azaab (punishment) on the person who doesn't as mentioned in the hadith:

Kaab Ibn Ujrah (Radiallaho Anho) relates, that Rasulullah (Sallallaho Alaihi Wassallam) said, "Come near to the mimbar" and we came near the mimbar.
When He (Sallallaho Alaihi Wassallam) climbed the first step of the mimbar, He (Sallallaho Alaihi Wassalla) said "Aameen".
When He (Sallallaho Alaihi Wassallam) ascended the second step, He (Sallallaho Alaihi Wassallam) said "Aameen".
When He (Sallallaho Alaihi Wassallam) climbed the third step, He (Sallallaho Alaihi Wassallam) said "Aameen".
When He (Sallallaho Alaihi Wassallam) came down, we said: "O Rasool of Allah (Sallallaho Alaihi Wassallam), we have heard from you today something which we never heard before".
He (Sallallaho Alaihi wasallam) said: When I climbed the first step, the angel Jibraeel (A.S.) appeared before me and said "Destruction to him who found the blessed month of Ramdhan and let it pass by without gaining forgiveness", upon that I said 'Aameen'.
When I climbed the second step, he (angel Jibraeel) said, "Destruction to him before whom thy name is taken and then he does not make Dua for Allah's blessing on me (by saying, for example Sallallaho Alaihi wasallam)."
I replied 'Aameen'.
When I climbed the third step, he (angel Jibraeel) said "Destruction unto him in whose lifetime his parents or either one of them reaches old age, and (through failure to serve them) he is not allowed to enter Jannah".
I said 'Aameen'.
Reported by Haakim.