a new believer need help

[markislam]

hi,
I am a secret believer of islam, i have been attracted to islam since many
years.

i want to go to a mosque and learn more about it.

i live in the US and iam married and have one daughter.

I am so scared to take the step of becoming muslim fully as my wife will
divorce me and i will face persecution from family and parents, which i
cannot tolerate. is there any way i can be a secret muslim and go to a
mosque with out them knowing ?

i hope some one can encourage me dont know what to do :hmm:

[Truthworthy]

brother did you declared the shahadah? if so you are muslim, but since you will be required to pray 5 times a day and fast. i am not sure how you could hide it from your family.

I would really advice you to face the people in your life and tell them. Islam wont change you for the worst but for the better.

So insha Allah Kheyr.

[MMohammed]

As TrustWorthy said, you need to declare the Shahadah first.
And find many ways to go the the mosque secretly and dont tell your wife that you are a Muslim.Start talking to her about Islam and tell her "I think Islam is true".And tell her things about Islam.May be you both will then enjoy living as Muslims after you talk about Islam to your wife.

[NoorInaya]

Asalaamu Alaikam,

Alhamdulilah that you have been guided to Islam. It is truly a blessing of Allah that you were not one of those with a veiled heart, who are blind to the beauty and message of Islam.

Now, I do not agree that you should hide your religion from your family. It is such a blessing that Allah has guided you to Islam, and you should not feel any shame or fear of people knowing. When we hide it from those who are closest to us, we are hiding something of great beauty from them. We may even be missing on a great chance to help them to see Islam as something wonderful and beautiful. In showing them Islam, you will be making dawah (invitation to Islam), and they may, with the guidance of Allah, accept Islam, inshAllah.

Brother, there are always the chances of being persecuted by friends, family, and the world as a whole, when we allow people to see that we are Muslim. I would be lying if I said that this was not a chance, or even a strong possibility. But, I want you to know something that is very important: whatever sufferings that you go through for the sake of Islam, Allah will reward you. We are all tested by Allah, and your sufferings would be a test. You should know that Allah will only test those whom He loves, so do not despair, or ever think that Allah doesn't love you (the concept does not hold up in Islam. Suffering is not equated to punishment).

You should be open about your new faith, and give people around you a chance to accept you. You may be worrying for nothing. Speak gently to your wife, and explain to her the true meaning of Islam. Let her see that you are a better person now that you are Muslim. The greatest dawah that we can do is to live Islam truly. We do not need to quote verses from the Quran, or start talking about how this is halal or haram. Just be a good person (a good Muslim), and show how much Islam has improved you.

If you are not already, you need to start praying 5 times a day. Explain to your wife what you are doing, and why. Start going to masjid (mosque), and again, explain to her the what and why. She is your wife, and should be your closest confidant. Do not shut her out from the most important thing in your life (your relationship with Allah and Islam). Make her a part of this.

Yes, rejection is possible, but as I stated earlier, know that every struggle is a test from Allah, and proof that He loves you. InshAllah, things will work out for you, and in a way that will be better than anything you could have ever imagined.

You are not alone in this world, brother. Know that you are now a member of a family that is 2.5 billion strong! This is why we call you "brother." You are not merely a "fellow Muslim," but you are our "brother." Anything that you need, you can come to us and ask us. Muslims help one another, because we are a family and a community (Ummah).

Be strong, and pray to Allah for ease in hardship. And, thank Allah for guiding you to the wonderful religion of Islam.

wasalaamz,

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[- IqRa -]

Take the shahadah ASAP, because one does not know how long they will live for. And about your family finding out, you can break it to them slowly, when the time is ready.

Read this simple and straightforward article for more information brother;

How to Convert to Islam and Become a Muslim

May Allaah make it easy for you, Ameen.

[Misz_Muslimah]

Asalamalikum

Inshallah I Think you should take the shahadah and just go for it coz itz wtz in your heart dat really matters. also make dua to allah to make it easy for you to break the news nd nothing bad comes from it inshallah..

[markislam]

thanks brothers for all the replies.

I am a new believer and i have never went to a mosque i have learning about islam online here and there. when ever i drive by a mosque my heart just pains to go there and learn more. but i cant. because most of the brothers there know my family :(.

also what is Shahadah ? can i do it online.

What should i do if my wife divorces me , I am so confused. i am so new to this all islamic terms also.

I did complete reading the english Quaran 5 years back.

[markislam]

is any one here who is from florida ? or USA then may be i can talk to some one

[touba]

is any one here who is from florida ? or USA then may be i can talk to some one

Ashahada is to say ashhado ana la ilaha illallah waashhado ana mohammed rassoul allah

[touba]

thanks brothers for all the replies.

I am a new believer and i have never went to a mosque i have learning about islam online here and there. when ever i drive by a mosque my heart just pains to go there and learn more. but i cant. because most of the brothers there know my family :(.

also what is Shahadah ? can i do it online.

What should i do if my wife divorces me , I am so confused. i am so new to this all islamic terms also.

I did complete reading the english Quaran 5 years back.

Ashahada is you must say :

I testify “La ilah illa Allah, Muhammad rasoolu Allah.”

The translation of which is:

“I testify that there is no true god (deity) but God (Allah), and that Muhammad is a Messenger (Prophet) of God.”

[touba]

Watch this movie with your wife and you will see how our prophet Mohammed Salla allah alayhi wassallam and muslims people were brave and show the islam to all the world

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mx9xztIN2XM

so dont be afraid to show your islam

[markislam]

thanks for the video

[touba]

thanks for the video

You are welcome

[UmmSqueakster]

Welcome to the forum and (hopefully) to islam. I maintain a small page with helpful information for converts that you can find here - http://umms.wordpress.com/converts/


Your wife is probably terrified that you will become an evil awful man who oppresses and beats women. Unfortunately, that's the view of muslims in the west. The best thing you can do is show her that you're an awesome husband and that you'll be an even better husband as a muslim.

[Muhammad]

Dear Mark,

It is great to hear that you want to become a Muslim. You should pursue your desire to learn more about Islam and get in touch with Muslims who can support you and teach you.

Feel free to go inside a Mosque and speak to someone. Even if the people know your family, they should understand the need to keep it quiet for the time being.

Your concerns about your family are fully understandable. Many converts to Islam have been through similar difficulties and many have had to hide their Islam at first. You might be able to find some useful websites where there is advice from converts regarding this.

It is possible for you to actually become a Muslim (i.e. enter the religion) without your family knowing, so once it is clear to you that Islam is the truth, you should hasten to declare the testimony of faith (shahaadah) and thereby become a Muslim. After this, take things one step at a time and place your trust in Allaah (God). He will make a way for you from every difficulty. So long as you accept Him as your Lord and God, and follow His religion, He will never let you down or forsake you.

May Allaah guide you to the truth of Islam and make your journey smooth and easy, Aameen. :)

[Snowflake]

Hi Mark,

I loved to hear you believe in Islam. Alhamdulillah (All praise is for Allah). May Allah make your affairs easy for you. Ameen.

I hope you find the inspiration and strength to declare your belief openly from these stories inshaAllah (God willing).

http://www.islamfortoday.com/companions.htm

You may also like to watch the following films with your wife inshaAllah..

'The Message'

Muhammad: The Last Prophet.

http://islam.about.com/od/muhammad/p/muhammad_film.htm

May Allah's blessings and mercy be upon your and your family. Ameen

[markislam]

i will go to the mosque this friday and see some one there :nervous:

[touba]

i will go to the mosque this friday and see some one there :nervous:

Thats good do it , Did you watch the movie so what is your opinion about it

please could say the shahada?

[markislam]

I watched for 10 minutes and the video froze, I am going to watch it again . thanks again. also saw some videos on youtube about christian converts to islam.

i am encouraged and i will watch more.

[syilla]

:salamext:

hi mark... is it possible to introdue islam to your wife...bit by bit. Just to see her reaction. And probably you can buy quran and tell her that you're just curious

[- IqRa -]

Read this article inshaAllaah;

How to convert to Islam and become a Muslim

[S_87]

i will go to the mosque this friday and see some one there :nervous:

Allah willing you will have a great experience, Allah will always open a way for those sincere...you will see that hopefully your fears were nothing to worry about...May Allah make it easy for you :)

[markislam]

is any one here from USA, that i can talk to ?

[- IqRa -]

USA is pretty big, which state?

[markislam]

Florida any one you know ?

[- IqRa -]

I'm not anywhere near there, but there are some members here from USA.

Woodrow - Minnesota,North Dakota and South Dakota

There might be some more...InshaAllaah they will reply to your post.

[Khalil_Allah]

assalaamu alaykum Mark,

I have been in a similar boat, although I imagine it is tougher when you are married.

When I found Islam (or Islam found me), I had no Muslim friends and no Muslim family. Really I was thinking "Why did it have to be ISLAM!!!!" But you're not going to be able to beat that feeling that you are Muslim, as I am sure you are now aware. You will just be lying to yourself because Allah guides whomever He pleases.

First you need to realize that this is really a blessing for you. But it's going to be hard man. I'm from the BibleBelt myself, and you and I both know that lots of christians and non-religious types in this area aren't too keen on "them muzzlums."

I'll shoot you a PM if you want to talk, because we may have a lot in common.

Take a deep breath and relax. You don't have to do anything too crazy right now. Just keep talking to God. He is the Most Gracious and Most Merciful, and He won't turn away from those who are seeking Him.

You got 1.5 billion people behind you, and the people here will always be ready to support you.

[NoorInaya]

Mark,

I'm in Mississippi currently, originally from Texas, and spent six years in Chicago (which is the greatest city in America for Muslims!).

I just wanted to point out that when you declare your belief in Islam to be the true religion, it is not necessary that this be done in public. Public declaration of the Shahada (La ila ha il Allah....) is recommended because it introduces you to the Muslim community.

If you already believe that 1) There is no God but Allah, and 2) Muhammad (peace be upon him) is His messenger, then you are already Muslim! Public declaration of this is merely a formality, and as I said, will introduce you to the community.

Being introduced to the community is very beneficial because not only will people know that you are a Muslim, but they can also offer to help you. You have many questions right now, and it will be helpful for you to make some friends to talk to.

You asked about what would happen if your wife divorced you. I would like to advise you to not worry about that right now. For all you know, your wife may not have any issues at all with you being Muslim. Just talk to her, and take it from there. Be kind and gentle, and understand that if she does have a bias against Muslims, it is because of how the media portrays us.

Definitely try to go to the masjid this Friday, inshAllah (God willing). Find out when they have Jummuah (Friday prayers), and try to attend. They are usually held during lunch so men can take off from work. If you arrive before Jummuah starts, just walk up to ANY of the brothers, and tell him that you wish to take the Shahadah. He will, inshAllah, help you with the rest. You don't need to schedule an appointment, or talk to any specific person. Just walk in, and let someone know. :)

May Allah make it easy on you.

Wasalaamz,

[markislam]

pm me your email bro if you can

assalaamu alaykum Mark,

I have been in a similar boat, although I imagine it is tougher when you are married.

When I found Islam (or Islam found me), I had no Muslim friends and no Muslim family. Really I was thinking "Why did it have to be ISLAM!!!!" But you're not going to be able to beat that feeling that you are Muslim, as I am sure you are now aware. You will just be lying to yourself because Allah guides whomever He pleases.

First you need to realize that this is really a blessing for you. But it's going to be hard man. I'm from the BibleBelt myself, and you and I both know that lots of christians and non-religious types in this area aren't too keen on "them muzzlums."

I'll shoot you a PM if you want to talk, because we may have a lot in common.

Take a deep breath and relax. You don't have to do anything too crazy right now. Just keep talking to God. He is the Most Gracious and Most Merciful, and He won't turn away from those who are seeking Him.

You got 1.5 billion people behind you, and the people here will always be ready to support you.

[markislam]

thanks for your post it encourages me a lot.

when you say you will introduce me to the community you mean you know people in florida ?. that would be nice.

did you send me reps by any chance here sister ? some one sent me a rep so was wondering

Mark,

I'm in Mississippi currently, originally from Texas, and spent six years in Chicago (which is the greatest city in America for Muslims!).

I just wanted to point out that when you declare your belief in Islam to be the true religion, it is not necessary that this be done in public. Public declaration of the Shahada (La ila ha il Allah....) is recommended because it introduces you to the Muslim community.

If you already believe that 1) There is no God but Allah, and 2) Muhammad (peace be upon him) is His messenger, then you are already Muslim! Public declaration of this is merely a formality, and as I said, will introduce you to the community.

Being introduced to the community is very beneficial because not only will people know that you are a Muslim, but they can also offer to help you. You have many questions right now, and it will be helpful for you to make some friends to talk to.

You asked about what would happen if your wife divorced you. I would like to advise you to not worry about that right now. For all you know, your wife may not have any issues at all with you being Muslim. Just talk to her, and take it from there. Be kind and gentle, and understand that if she does have a bias against Muslims, it is because of how the media portrays us.

Definitely try to go to the masjid this Friday, inshAllah (God willing). Find out when they have Jummuah (Friday prayers), and try to attend. They are usually held during lunch so men can take off from work. If you arrive before Jummuah starts, just walk up to ANY of the brothers, and tell him that you wish to take the Shahadah. He will, inshAllah, help you with the rest. You don't need to schedule an appointment, or talk to any specific person. Just walk in, and let someone know. :)

May Allah make it easy on you.

Wasalaamz,

[strengthmill]

Why dont you start by breaking your wife in gently,

there a few really good dvd by Dr Naik who clears up misconeptions about islam, look at youtube before you buy them so you can tell if they are suitable:

Misconceptions About Islam - By Dr. Zakir Naik (1/24)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GvHHYrdiXHE

The Qur'an and the Bible in the Light of Science :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwIQYylMJcI

If you like the buy them and say a friend gave you them to watch and try to get your wife to sit with you if not turn the volume up a little,

Eventually bring home a quran and start to read it and try and get a discussion going.

Ultimately ask allah for his guidence, inshalllah things will workout

[NoorInaya]

thanks for your post it encourages me a lot.

when you say you will introduce me to the community you mean you know people in florida ?. that would be nice.

did you send me reps by any chance here sister ? some one sent me a rep so was wondering

What I mean is that when you publicly declare your shahada in the masjid, that act alone will introduce you to the community. I do not know anyone in Florida.

I have not sent any reps; I am still a limited member, and unable to rep people (I am looking forward to when I can!).

wasalaamz,

[markislam]

ok thanks great to know :)

[Snowflake]

i will go to the mosque this friday and see some one there :nervous:

That's great to hear. I hope you get lots of help and support, God willing.

I watched for 10 minutes and the video froze, I am going to watch it again . thanks again. also saw some videos on youtube about christian converts to islam.

i am encouraged and i will watch more.

Good going! You're welcome. Hope the vid works next time. If not, see if can get copy from a video hire shop :)

[markislam]

so this friday is the day iam going there :)

[- IqRa -]

MashaAllaah brother

[markislam]

thanks for the encouragement :statisfie

[NoorInaya]

so this friday is the day iam going there :)

Let us know how it goes!

[blackgirl92]

I am so happy to hear that brother.. :)
It's really good thing to be in ISLAM. being a muslim is hard but a special thing at this time. you are able to protect yourself all kind of badnesses when you're muslim. you dont drink, you dont eat harmful things (ex:pork), for ladies, you're out of the centre of eyes. Living this beutiful life and not telling it people esp. your familiy would be to deprive of these things, wouldn't it? :statisfie

[markislam]

yes sure i will let you all know how it goes

[markislam]

sorry i still dont have 50 posts so i cant pm all those who pmed me. :nervous:

I am so happy to hear that brother.. :)
It's really good thing to be in ISLAM. being a muslim is hard but a special thing at this time. you are able to protect yourself all kind of badnesses when you're muslim. you dont drink, you dont eat harmful things (ex:pork), for ladies, you're out of the centre of eyes. Living this beutiful life and not telling it people esp. your familiy would be to deprive of these things, wouldn't it? :statisfie

[Rabi'ya]

:sl: brother

Welcome to Islam. I understand how you are feeling. I reverted 8 years ago now and to be honest although my family still speak to me there is always this kinda barrier there. My dad tries to pick arguments and my mum always tries to prove (indirectly) that Islam is not right. However, after these 8 years, I finally felt a small glimmer of hope from her. I was talking to her about fasting and how things are going and that a certain person I know is not fasting because they are ill. She said "well that would be a pretty cruel God who would make you fast even if you were ill" I told her the reasonings and that Allah is most just and understanding to individual situations. I told her that this person simply has to make it up at a later date. She said "oh well that seems reasonable"

So anyway what im trying to say is whilst u may think that things will be bad. As long as the conviction in your heart is towrads Allah and you keep that with you at all time then inshAllah in the long run u will prosper. How can you go wrong if you have Allah guidin you?

Please make duaa for my mum to come closer to the truth inshAllah.

[Al Ansari]

assalaamu 'alaikum brother,

May Allaah (swt) make the transition easier for you. Ameen.

[neda]

Remember brother: Allah is first. This must guide your actions. You are wrong by making this a secret.