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touba
08-12-2009, 01:45 PM
Assalamou alaikoum,

My relative she is muslim women as well and shes married to a muslim man , Her husband before her he was married to a 2 christian women without doing ashahada and he was living with them with their lifestyle without practising as a muslim man he was gambiling and spending so much money in gambiling for them after he divorce with them he start living his life having christian girlfriends living with him he eat even their food after when he meet my relative he married her and stop gambiling and stop having girlfriends but hes not praying and he still talkt with christian girls at work and if hes wife said its haram he beat up her so so good in his opinion is halal to talk with christian girls and zina is not a big sin in his opinion so how can she proof to him is haram please , Im writing her problem coz she does not speak english. any advice

Jazakoum allah khaiyran
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touba
08-12-2009, 02:33 PM
please any advice shes really suffer and me i dont know how to help her my knowledge is limited

Jazakoum allah khayiran
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NoorInaya
08-12-2009, 03:48 PM
Asalaamu Alaikam,

Your relative needs to speak with an imam, and see if there is anything that they can do to help her (perhaps they can speak with her husband). If her husband is unwilling to listen to anyone, and if he insists on beating her, then she should consider leaving him.

When abuse is involved, the whole dynamic of the marriage is changed. In "regular" circumstances, where there is no physical abuse, I would never just advise someone to leave their spouse. However, when talking about abuse, one thing should be made perfectly clear: No one has the right to beat on anyone else. Muslim men (any men, for that matter) do not have a "God given right" to beat their wives. Your relative should not stay in such a relationship where she is being physically abused.

Tell her to talk to an imam, or even a Muslim social worker. If the imam tells her to stay in the marriage and take the abuse, clearly the imam is bonkers! I know that there are some uneducated Muslims out there calling themselves "imams" and they think that men have the right to beat their wives, but that is simply untrue.

Our Beloved Prophet (saws) NEVER raised a hand to his wives, not even a light slap. And he said, "The best among you are those who are kind to their wives."

The husband's other actions aside, the abuse needs to be addressed. If he's not willing to stop hitting her, then she should leave.

May Allah make it easy on her. Ameen.
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touba
08-12-2009, 04:00 PM
Originally Posted by NoorInaya
Asalaamu Alaikam,

Your relative needs to speak with an imam, and see if there is anything that they can do to help her (perhaps they can speak with her husband). If her husband is unwilling to listen to anyone, and if he insists on beating her, then she should consider leaving him.

When abuse is involved, the whole dynamic of the marriage is changed. In "regular" circumstances, where there is no physical abuse, I would never just advise someone to leave their spouse. However, when talking about abuse, one thing should be made perfectly clear: No one has the right to beat on anyone else. Muslim men (any men, for that matter) do not have a "God given right" to beat their wives. Your relative should not stay in such a relationship where she is being physically abused.

Tell her to talk to an imam, or even a Muslim social worker. If the imam tells her to stay in the marriage and take the abuse, clearly the imam is bonkers! I know that there are some uneducated Muslims out there calling themselves "imams" and they think that men have the right to beat their wives, but that is simply untrue.

Our Beloved Prophet (saws) NEVER raised a hand to his wives, not even a light slap. And he said, "The best among you are those who are kind to their wives."

The husband's other actions aside, the abuse needs to be addressed. If he's not willing to stop hitting her, then she should leave.

May Allah make it easy on her. Ameen.
Sister jazaki allah khayiran we told her same to leave him but she couldnt because she loves him and she is trying to help him to know that is haram what he does in the past and now she wanna proof to him that zina and talking with christian girls is a big sin but i dont know how to help in this matter she just join him here and she does not speak english and hes playing with her

Allah help her ameen
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touba
08-12-2009, 06:23 PM
Assalamou alaikoum,

My relative she is muslim women as well and shes married to a muslim man , Her husband before her he was married to a 2 christian women without doing ashahada and he was living with them with their lifestyle without practising as a muslim man he was gambiling and spending so much money in gambiling for them after he divorce with them he start living his life having christian girlfriends living with him he eat even their food after when he meet my relative he married her and stop gambiling and stop having girlfriends but hes not praying and he still talkt with christian girls at work and if hes wife said its haram he beat up her so so good in his opinion is halal to talk with christian girls and zina is not a big sin in his opinion so how can she proof to him is haram please , Im writing her problem coz she does not speak english. any advice

Jazakoum allah khaiyran
Reply

touba
08-13-2009, 09:26 AM
Assalamou alaikoum,

My relative she is muslim women as well and shes married to a muslim man , Her husband before her he was married to a 2 christian women without doing ashahada and he was living with them with their lifestyle without practising as a muslim man he was gambiling and spending so much money in gambiling for them after he divorce with them he start living his life having christian girlfriends living with him he eat even their food after when he meet my relative he married her and stop gambiling and stop having girlfriends but hes not praying and he still talkt with christian girls at work and if hes wife said its haram he beat up her so so good in his opinion is halal to talk with christian girls and zina is not a big sin in his opinion so how can she proof to him is haram please , Im writing her problem coz she does not speak english. any advice

Jazakoum allah khaiyran
Reply

touba
08-13-2009, 09:27 AM
Assalamou alaikoum,

My relative she is muslim women as well and shes married to a muslim man , Her husband before her he was married to a 2 christian women without doing ashahada and he was living with them with their lifestyle without practising as a muslim man he was gambiling and spending so much money in gambiling for them after he divorce with them he start living his life having christian girlfriends living with him he eat even their food after when he meet my relative he married her and stop gambiling and stop having girlfriends but hes not praying and he still talkt with christian girls at work and if hes wife said its haram he beat up her so so good in his opinion is halal to talk with christian girls and zina is not a big sin in his opinion so how can she proof to him is haram please , Im writing her problem coz she does not speak english. any advice

Jazakoum allah khaiyran
Reply

ardianto
08-13-2009, 02:41 PM
Originally Posted by touba
how can she proof to him is haram please
Let Allah proof to him.

For this time the only thing that she can do is keep in patience, shalaah tahajud and always make du'a after shalaah, wish Allah give her husband a hidayah. Insyaallah, one day her husband will get a hidayah then he would realize his behaviour is wrong. And when that is happen, she must forgive all of his mistake.

When she see her husband do something wrong and want to tell him, tell softly and don't use word that can triggering his angry. In example, he doesn't shalaah, and in the time for shalaah don't ever say "You must shalaah" but she must say "My husband, will you lead me as imam in shalaah ?".

And make him feel enjoy at home. Cook his favourite foods, give him a best service, always speak softly to him. Insyaallah, this can increase his love to her, and make her easy to guide him back to right way.

Sister, maybe this is a strange advice, but I hope you understand this is an advice from male's prespective.

Wasalamuallaikum.
Reply

touba
08-13-2009, 02:50 PM
Originally Posted by ardianto
Let Allah proof to him.

For this time the only thing that she can do is keep in patience, shalaah tahajud and always make du'a after shalaah, wish Allah give her husband a hidayah. Insyaallah, one day her husband will get a hidayah then he would realize his behaviour is wrong. And when that is happen, she must forgive all of his mistake.

When she see her husband do something wrong and want to tell him, tell softly and don't use word that can triggering his angry. In example, he doesn't shalaah, and in the time for shalaah don't ever say "You must shalaah" but she must say "My husband, will you lead me as imam in shalaah ?".

And make him feel enjoy at home. Cook his favourite foods, give him a best service, always speak softly to him. Insyaallah, this can increase his love to her, and make her easy to guide him back to right way.

Sister, maybe this is a strange advice, but I hope you understand this is an advice from male's prespective.

Wasalamuallaikum.
Jazaka allah khaiyran brother but i would like to tell you that my relative is a such nice person clean nice cooking pretty mashallah but her destiney is with the wrong person allah give him hidayat inshallah
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ardianto
08-13-2009, 03:00 PM
Originally Posted by touba
Jazaka allah khaiyran brother but i would like to tell you that my relative is a such nice person clean nice cooking pretty mashallah but her destiney is with the wrong person allah give him hidayat inshallah
Alhamdulillah, I am very happy to know she is a good woman, a good wife. Help her with du'a.
:)
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touba
08-13-2009, 03:02 PM
Originally Posted by ardianto
Alhamdulillah, I am very happy to know she is a good woman, a good wife. Help her with du'a.
:)
Inshallah jazaka allah khaiyran brother im doing duaa for her all the time
Reply

Ansariyah
08-13-2009, 03:32 PM
SubhanaAllah!

He beat her up?:muddlehea:exhausted

Where's her father? Does she have brothas?

he shud be set straight by the men of her family, perferably wit beats.
Reply

touba
08-13-2009, 03:37 PM
Originally Posted by Yanoorah
SubhanaAllah!

He beat her up?:muddlehea:exhausted

Where's her father? Does she have brothas?

he shud be set straight by the men of her family, perferably wit beats.
Assalamou alaikoum sister,

He beat her when she asked him to stop talking with christian girls and respect their marriage as a muslim couples for christian girls she get beating sister subhanallah ,her family abroad as well , Im the only one in the same country of her but shes living far from me in an other city , I spooke with her husband on the phone i said is haram and he replied me it is not haram im the man and im free to talk to other girls so what if they are christian or jewish they are my type of women i like , Allah hidayat hes not afraid from allah she told me that even now she feels hes in a relation with a christian girlfriend a3ozo billah
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pious believer
08-13-2009, 04:15 PM
:sl:

she should divorce him, cos men like that never change!!imsad
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touba
08-13-2009, 04:20 PM
Originally Posted by pious believer
:sl:

she should divorce him, cos men like that never change!!imsad
she loves him plus she just join him if she divorce him they will kick her out side the country
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