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umm malcolm
08-13-2009, 02:45 AM
Help! My 13 year old daughter who is about to enter the 8th grade and no longer wants to cover. What to say or do.
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crayon
08-13-2009, 09:15 AM
Ouch. Tough situation. InshaAllah someone'll have some advice.
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- IqRa -
08-13-2009, 09:22 AM
Ask her why she doesn't want to. Tell her the benefits of covering up and punishment if she doesn't.
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Ummu Sufyaan
08-13-2009, 09:30 AM
:sl:
Originally Posted by umm malcolm
Help! My 13 year old daughter who is about to enter the 8th grade and no longer wants to cover. What to say or do.
teach her about accountability for her own actions. its not about the hijaab, its about her misunderstanding about how imprtant it is to obey Allah.
pray for her. get someone to talk to her. all the best :(

EDIT: make sure she is hanging out with the right crowd as well...
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Tilmeez
08-13-2009, 09:44 AM
Tell her the benefits of covering up and punishment if she doesn't.
This alone will not help. Lectures on any thing,sometimes, can lead to a worst situation.

You are a bit late in this, I'm afraid. This would be very fine if you have made an habit of wearing / covering head from her younger age. As my personal experience my wife makes a matching scarf on every new dress for my 5 year old daughter.

At this stage only inspirations can help. :hmm:
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Faye
08-13-2009, 11:06 AM
Pray for her. And try to talk to her about her reasons for not wanting to wear hijaab. Buy her some really pretty hijaab, and get her to wear them to other places, if not to school. Find her some Muslimah friends her age who do cover up. Its easier to do something when you see a practical example in front of you. Maybe make a deal with her: she wears hijaab for the next six months, and you'll get her ___ that she has been asking for for months. Insha Allah, Allah will put love of modesty and hijaab in her heart.
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Snowflake
08-13-2009, 11:26 AM
Scare tactics are the worst thing to use for making a child practice Islam. Rather, tell your daughter the beauty and rewards of pleasing Allah subhana wa ta'ala in this world and especially so in the hereafter. If you need to increase your knowledge of the rewards for those who enter Paradise, do so and then like you tell bedtime stories, in a casual and friendly manner, relay this information to your daughter.

Don't say, if you don't do this and that you won't get Paradise. Say isn't it amazing we just have to do simple little things but the reward for these is more than we can imagine. Try to put as many details of the ease comfort, happiness and rewards of Paradise etc.

And when you talk about these things, you must let her see you yearn for them yourself. Your voice should reflect emotion and your face desire, when taking about the beauty of islam and the kindness and mercy of Allah subahana wa ta'ala for those who follow His commands.

Above all, as sis Faye said, make dua.

When people are sleeping and busy with worldly pleasures Allah (SWT) gives the believers an opportunity, or an answer hour if they can fight sleep and invoke Allah (SWT) for whatever they need. The Prophet (SAW) said: 'There is at night an hour, no Muslim happens to be asking Allah any matter of this world or the Hereafter, except that he will be given it, and this (occurs) every night.'
[Muslim #757]

Anas (RA) narrated that Allah’s Messenger (SAW) said: 'A supplication made between the Adhan and Iqama is not rejected.'
[Ahmad, abu Dawud #521, at-Tirmidhi #212, Sahih al-Jami #3408, an-Nasai and Ibn Hibban graded it sahih (sound)]
Abu Hurairah (RA) narrated that Allah’s Messenger (SAW), said: 'The nearest a slave can be to his Lord is when he is prostrating, so invoke (supplicate) Allah (SWT) much in it. [Muslim, abu Dawud, an-Nasa'i and others, Sahih al-Jami #1175]

The Messenger of Allah (SAW) said; Three supplications will not be rejected (by Allah (SWT)), the supplication of the parent for his child, the supplication of the one who is fasting, and the supplication of the traveler. [al-Bayhaqi, at-Tirmidhi - Sahih]

SubhanAllah, how easy Allah has made for us to ask of Him for our needs.. :statisfie
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AnonyMouse~
08-13-2009, 01:44 PM
You should take her to the masjid. Often times having too many nonbelieving friends results to this. They probably ask her about it and she doesn't know how to reply. Or maybe she wants to fit in. You should try to get her to become friends with practicing Muslims as that helps a lot. My parents never practiced and I myself wasn't taught to practice either. Then subhanAllah I went to the masjid a couple times and heard a few lectures. I became friends with niqabis and hijabis and they really influenced me a lot to not care about what the kuffar think and just please Allah. You should also try to get her to listen to that lecture "Muslims immitating kuffar" by Sheikh feiz. It's really encouraging!
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syilla
08-14-2009, 02:21 AM
:salamext:

Teach her again on the beauty of islam :)
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aminahjaan
08-14-2009, 02:53 AM
That's pretty normal for a girl her age. It's all about how you look in school, and more time is consumed thinking about what to wear than what to learn. It's also probably her nerves about starting school. Ask her if anyone has been bullying her, or trying to convince her to take it off. It kind of shows that her friends aren't that great. The best way is to communicate and show her that a woman who respects herself is always going to get respect back. I'm in Highschool and a lot of guys don't respect their mini-skirt wearing girlfriends, but they respect hijabis all the time. A guy even said that he doesn't respect his girlfriend attt all because of the way she dresses. I honestly, truly, believe that hijab is the only way that a woman can get respected, be a mystery, and be beautiful, all at the same time. Hijab is definitley a gift from Allah, and insha'ALLAH after having a nice talk with your daughter, she will accept the gift whole-heartedly.
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markislam
08-14-2009, 10:27 AM
i want to raise my kids wearing hijab
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Snowflake
08-14-2009, 11:24 AM
^That's the best thing to do inshaAllah :)
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جوري
08-24-2009, 11:23 PM
You can't force her to wear it.. you can only do the best to teach her about it...

:w:
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IslamicRevival
08-24-2009, 11:29 PM
You have to be firm but fair. Teach her about modesty , Soften her heart and inshAllah she will get the message
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cat eyes
08-25-2009, 12:05 AM
think what you need to do is sit her down and have a one to one chat about the importance of wearing hijab and introduce her to some other young muslim girls in your area. as an example so she will realise what she is doing is wrong. its the lack of younger role models around her might be the problem. where i live there is a place for young muslimahs at the masjid where they can meet and talk about there deen. this is why i will send my future kids to islamic schooling inshallaah
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happynur
08-25-2009, 02:39 AM
Originally Posted by Alpha Dude
If your daughter doesn't want to wear hijab, it's an indication that she has weak iman.

Don't focus on achieving the short term goal of getting her to wear it and that's it, assume a problem solved. I doubt it would be, cos what she's doing now could be a symptom of a larger problem deep down. Try and first make her love Islam.

Hijab would come naturally to her after she yearns to be a good muslim.
i agree with you bro...
let you check her friends, her book or her school... is there something wrong there ?
be patient... hijab would come to her if she realise the benefit of using it, not only in this world but for the sake of herself in akheraat... :)
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