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touba
08-14-2009, 10:09 PM
Assalamou alaikoum,

Today i was out with my husband and in the street we meet his friend wifes and sister , my husband friend is muslim but married with non muslim woman christian and when they saw my husband the 2 women push my husband and kissed him in front of me even me i couldnt kiss them nor shake hands with them all i said hello please is this haram ?
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Tony
08-14-2009, 10:21 PM
I dont know why its acceptable to kiss and hug ppl who are friends let alone someones spouse. Even b4 I was Muslim this sort of contact made me feel very uncomfortable and unnescessary invasion of space, the wierd thing is, anyone I refused contact with generally veiwed me as th strange one !!! If it had happened to me in front of my wife, that would have been two more christians thrown to the lions for sure;D
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touba
08-14-2009, 10:26 PM
Originally Posted by Tony
I dont know why its acceptable to kiss and hug ppl who are friends let alone someones spouse. Even b4 I was Muslim this sort of contact made me feel very uncomfortable and unnescessary invasion of space, the wierd thing is, anyone I refused contact with generally veiwed me as th strange one !!! If it had happened to me in front of my wife, that would have been two more christians thrown to the lions for sure;D
brother what can i do they jumped on my husband i was afraid from them , you know is normal for christian women to kiss a man thats their culture and lifestyle and my husband didnt kiss them anyway but they forced him , I would like to know if it is haram ?

Jazakoum allah khayiran
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Tony
08-14-2009, 10:30 PM
Both of you did nothing wrong so I dont think you can have done anything haraam. Sister you dont need to be scared of christians, espescially kissy ones, I am sure its not normal part of christian behaviour
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touba
08-14-2009, 10:35 PM
Originally Posted by Tony
Both of you did nothing wrong so I dont think you can have done anything haraam. Sister you dont need to be scared of christians, espescially kissy ones, I am sure its not normal part of christian behaviour
Jazaka Allah khayiran brother
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markislam
08-15-2009, 01:02 AM
you should listen to Dr Zakir Naik on you tube he talks about this topic, just know it is not haram they did not do it in a bad way it is their culture.
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bamboozled
08-15-2009, 01:16 AM
Something similar happened to me.

I handed a gift to one of my friends Mums and she leaned in to give me a kiss on the cheek to say thanks.

You should just take the person aside, or better yet your husband and tell they you dont feel comfortable in such practices. Inshallah they will understand.
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Muslim Woman
08-15-2009, 01:29 AM
:sl:

Originally Posted by touba
brother what can i do they jumped on my husband

either u or ur husband should have told them politely but firmly that it's not allowed in our religion ; we can't do that / can't accept this kind of greetings , sorry.

What if a Christian man tries to kiss u ? Surely u won't allow him to do that ? Remember it's haram .
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GreyKode
08-15-2009, 01:29 AM
Woe Woe guys, it is haram, your husband is muslim no?, he should know better, I keep saying this, quasi-muslim behaviour will only lead to trouble. Just like he won't allow any stranger man to kiss you sister so he should also avoid the kissing from other women.

You can't accept something that is in the culture of others that is haram, Islam comes first brothers and sisters.

May ALLAH guide us all and protect us from shaytan.
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markislam
08-15-2009, 01:31 AM
yes i agree but in this case this happened un expectantly how does one prepare for this
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Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн
08-15-2009, 01:31 AM
^^Something like that happened to me at my brothers graduation. Cause I know my brothers friend from high school and before I started practising. First he came to shake my hand and then leaned forward to kiss me on the cheek :skeleton: I leaned back and he came further and I jus kept moving away :phew +o( :omg:

What sucks more is that my parents and brothers were there :exhausted :hiding:

They honestly do not know any better :hmm:
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GreyKode
08-15-2009, 01:36 AM
Originally Posted by markislam
you should listen to Dr Zakir Naik on you tube he talks about this topic, just know it is not haram they did not do it in a bad way it is their culture.
Doing something that is haram out of ignorance will (god-willing) not be accounted as a sin, but we should stick to the right teachings of Islam, once we know that something is haram we should avoid it completely.
Plus, since the woman probably knew he was a muslim she shouldn't have a problem acting in accordance with his beliefs.
But, I suspect that this type of behaviour was encouraged(or at least not corrected) by your husband at some point earlier in their friendship and thus some of the blame falls on him too.
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Clover
08-15-2009, 01:37 AM
I have this happen all the time, I mean, it's not that weird. Of course, I'm not married lol.
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Cabdullahi
08-15-2009, 01:39 AM
Originally Posted by Light of Heaven
^^Something like that happened to me at my brothers graduation. Cause I know my brothers friend from high school and before I started practising. First he came to shake my hand and then leaned forward to kiss me on the cheek :skeleton: I leaned back and he came further and I jus kept moving away :phew +o( :omg:

What sucks more is that my parents and brothers were there :exhausted :hiding:

They honestly do not know any better :hmm:
ohh snap! if only you prepared donkey doo doo the night before wrapped up in tissue paper so just when he was about to kiss you'd move away and stick the tissue roll in his mouth
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Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн
08-15-2009, 01:48 AM
^^Dude that's just disgusting lol. What kind of dawah would I be giving :hmm:

Nasteh.
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markislam
08-15-2009, 01:53 AM
that was nasty ;D

Originally Posted by Abdullahii
ohh snap! if only you prepared donkey doo doo the night before wrapped up in tissue paper so just when he was about to kiss you'd move away and stick the tissue roll in his mouth
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Ummu Sufyaan
08-15-2009, 07:03 AM
wa alaykum us-Salaam
Originally Posted by touba
Assalamou alaikoum,

Today i was out with my husband and in the street we meet his friend wifes and sister , my husband friend is muslim but married with non muslim woman christian and when they saw my husband the 2 women push my husband and kissed him in front of me even me i couldnt kiss them nor shake hands with them all i said hello please is this haram ?
lol if someone doen that to my husband, they would be in biiiigggg trouble! and he would too! lol...
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aadil77
08-15-2009, 07:24 AM
Originally Posted by Abdullahii
ohh snap! if only you prepared donkey doo doo the night before wrapped up in tissue paper so just when he was about to kiss you'd move away and stick the tissue roll in his mouth
how old are you, 5?

best thing to do is duck dodge and dodge
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andgar
08-15-2009, 10:15 AM
asalamalakum

Then I messed up big time.

I recently met my girlfriend's mom, and when I greeted her there was this awkward moment where I wasn't sure whether to just shake her hand, and she got close to me in a 'hug' nice to meet you motion, and it was an awkward moment where I semi kissed her on the cheek. The same thing happened when I was saying goodbye to her, where we both kinda didn't know what to do, but again.... she was leaning over towards me in the 'hug' position.

I went to dinner with my gf, her friends and a few family members and when I was leaving them, I was shaking their hands. Her cousin, said we were family now (even tho I haven't married her cousin yet) and gave me a hug..... was that wrong?

I also thought that was more of a cultural etiquette rather than a religious one, but I'm still new to Islam so I might be wrong.
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Abdu-l-Majeed
08-15-2009, 10:49 AM
Originally Posted by markislam
you should listen to Dr Zakir Naik on you tube he talks about this topic, just know it is not haram they did not do it in a bad way it is their culture.

Originally Posted by Tony
Both of you did nothing wrong so I dont think you can have done anything haraam. Sister you dont need to be scared of christians, espescially kissy ones, I am sure its not normal part of christian behaviour
Please, stop talking things you don't know.

If Christians have their own culture, we, Muslims, have our own.

Originally Posted by touba
Assalamou alaikoum,

Today i was out with my husband and in the street we meet his friend wifes and sister , my husband friend is muslim but married with non muslim woman christian and when they saw my husband the 2 women push my husband and kissed him in front of me even me i couldnt kiss them nor shake hands with them all i said hello please is this haram ?
Wa alaykumus-Salam wa rahmatullah.

Yes, ukhtee, that is haram. Kissing, hugging or shaking hands with non-mahrams is haram, here's a Q&A.

I know it's sometimes hard to get out of such a situation, but it is NOT impossible. I thought: "Hey, they'll get offensed, they'll feel bad"... Firstly, that's not true at all! I personally never met anyone anyone who got offensed because I didn't want to shake hands. And what's even more important, we should be afraid for ourselves if we're not able to say a simple, polite sentence like "I'm sorry, but I don't shake with women, it's nothing personally, don't worry", out of fear of Allah's punishment and out of love of Allah.

Maybe not really related to this, but once a brother read to me an excerpt from one of Ibn al-Qayyims works, and theer was something liek this: Iblees, la'natullahi alayh, presents to us our loosening in your religion as being wise callers to Islam.
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touba
08-15-2009, 12:59 PM
Assalamou alaikoum,

Believe me it wasnt my husband fault they jumped on him but he didnt kissed them and these women they didnt kissed him with a sexual way it was as friend of her husband and her husband was there with us , it is normal for english people to kiss and if you stop them they think bad about you especially this women and her husband helped my husband so good in the past
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Abdu-l-Majeed
08-15-2009, 02:46 PM
Originally Posted by touba
Assalamou alaikoum,

Believe me it wasnt my husband fault they jumped on him but he didnt kissed them and these women they didnt kissed him with a sexual way it was as friend of her husband and her husband was there with us , it is normal for english people to kiss and if you stop them they think bad about you especially this women and her husband helped my husband so good in the past
:wasalamex

No ukhtee, I didn't say whose fault it is. Don't understand me as judging you, but a Muslim giving an advice to another believer in Allah, and nothing more.

If it's normal for English people, it's even more normal for Muslims not to kiss, sexual way or not sexual way. If we give to every other "culture" precedence over ours, then we have no our own mind, and that's a sign bad enough.

If I don't stop them, then I have traded their pleasure for Allah's swt pleasure. It is Allah swt Who was, is and will be providing me and you and your husband, and this or that dude or dudette is only a means to that.

Allah helped us most by making us Muslims, al hamdu lillah.
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cat eyes
08-15-2009, 06:22 PM
i would be raging :raging:hahaa:raging::raging::raging:
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Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн
08-15-2009, 06:25 PM
:sl:

Sis the point is that, like brother Abdul said, we don't give culture importance over our deen. If not stop them, he could at least say something to let them know. It doesn't matter who helped him in this regard, we still maintain our identity as Muslims and keep away from things that are wrong InshaAllah. If they get upset then it's not really your fault or your husbands. I mean, it's like saying someone can do whatever they want with you just because they helped you.
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cat eyes
08-15-2009, 06:31 PM
well i would have slaped the head of him if he didn't say anything:raging: thats what u should have done sis;D
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Salahudeen
08-15-2009, 07:02 PM
lol this reminds me of when I was little, whenever I would go to a relatives house who I haven't seen in ages there was always an aunty who I've never met waiting to force herself upon me and give me a kiss lool.

If your husband doesn't wanna confront the ladies about it, why doesn't he just tell his friend then,

you said his friends are muslims who married christians, so why doesn't he tell his Muslim friends to tell their wifes not to kiss him.
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