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ayn22
08-16-2009, 12:19 AM
Salamoalaykum, I am a muslim convert. For the past 4 years alhamdullah, I have been learning Islam and struggling as a new muslim. At work there is a muslim gentleman who I have become particularly found of, my modesty and shyness causes me to not even look at him more than what is necessary during work and to just as seldom speak to him. Yet, in these past weeks I have known him I have fell deeply in love with him, I found out his attends an Islamic university overseas and has memorized the entire quran. His manners are immaculate. I love him so much and wish to pursue a relationship, however, it must be purely Islamic. I am afraid that my shyness and extreme modesty has made him think that I do not like him. After we greet eachother I do all that is possible to either turn my back and avoid him because of my shyness. How can I send him the right message without it being 1) haram and 2) culturally wrong (he is egyptian) or 3) strange
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mathematician
08-16-2009, 08:07 PM
salamu 'alaykum sister, welcome to Islam!!!

First, I would say you need to be careful in picking a muslim husband who is originally from the Middle East. The thing is, no matter how much of the Qur'an he has memorized he might follow in the footsteps of others and not treat you right. Back in the Middle East (that's where I am from) there is a tendency for the men not to care so much about their wives if they (the wives) are American or European. There are countless stories on this.
You might see him reading the Qur'an now for example, but in a relationship he might be abusive.
You have one source of help here though------Allah Allah Allah----. That's where He can be very useful to us. You can pray to Allah for example "Oh Allah if that brother will be a good husband to me, help me draw closer to you, then oh Allah guide him to love me. And oh Allah if he is not good for me, then guide him away from me."

Insha'Allah, Allah will answer your du'a.

Now about the brother. I am a guy myself and I would tell you that generally speaking if we like a woman we will tell her about it. We will not let it go by without at least trying to get the answer from her "yes" or "no". We are good at doing that. :)

Your shyness and modesty should work in your favour, insha'Allah. If he is truly as religious as you think, then insha'Allah he will view those 2 characteristics of yours as a good thing.

So, in summary: Do not forget Allah. Tell Him that He knows things about this man that you don't know, so if the man is good for you then oh Allah guide him to wanting to propose to me. A man will usually tell a woman about his feelings if he likes her. Men usually don't let that go away without trying.

Sister, may Allah grant you a husband that will draw you closer to Him.
Ameen.
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abu_musab461
08-16-2009, 09:00 PM
the best way to tell how a guy really is- is to see how he treats his mother and siblings.
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أبو سليمان عمر
08-16-2009, 09:12 PM
Ayn22 there is another post ssame question u asked inshallah u can go through the answers there
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abu_musab461
08-16-2009, 09:14 PM
there was me getting so confused :(
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GreyKode
08-16-2009, 09:31 PM
Originally Posted by abu_musab461
the best way to tell how a guy really is- is to see how he treats his mother and siblings.
Mashallah brother, on spot. I agree 100%.
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abu_musab461
08-17-2009, 12:04 AM
Originally Posted by GreyKode
Mashallah brother, on spot. I agree 100%.
Used to deal with a lot of marriages, match making, advice ect before, gave it up cos it was a head ache. :hiding:
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