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Asiyah3
08-18-2009, 01:47 PM
Hi I started about a month ago to wear the hijab when we had a school vacation, alhamdulillah. And when I decided to start wearing it I wanted to do it properly. It's just that soon school will begin and yes of course I'll wear the hijab. But what to dress is what's really bothering me.

I was planning to put my black abaya on, but I became really insecure when mother told me "you look like a black wolf in it". She said that it'd be better to wear just jeans and long-sleeved shirt.

Today I went to school and wore the abaya and the hijab and I found out that we won't have classes. This girl at school recognised me and said hi after I walked five time past her. And even in busses the driver asks me whether it's a child or an adult's ticket.

Now I feel really distressed whether to put on jeans & shirt or black abaya. I would put on skirt but it's only a little longer from knees.

Now in think if I look like an old granny in it. I want to wear it properly but I think what'll my friends think etc. And well I live in Europe.

The problem is that there is no other girl who wear hijab in my school... And the good point is that I'll be in chool only two hours a day (I decided I'll study courses by distant learning (computer) coz' I don't want to be in a mixed enviroment anymore))


Comments/ advice? I feel really awful and distressed. I've tried to make dhikr etc still :/
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crayon
08-18-2009, 02:00 PM
Salam sis!

I know how you feel! I don't live in Europe, but the uni I go to isn't exactly Islam orientated. I just started a while ago, and I was kind of nervous about wearing the abaya, thought I'd probably be the only one.

But then I actually got there and was pleasantly surprised- there were other people wearing it, and anyway, the environment is so easy to deal with, everyone just wears as they please and it's all acceptable. You could go to school in your pajamas and no one would bat an eye.

Plus, the abaya is soooo much easier! When everyone is waking up an hour earlier to get their hair and makeup and decide which clothes to wear, you can just slip on your abaya!

Trust me hun, don't be concerned with what other people think or say, do what is most comfortable and appealing to you. :)
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Intisar
08-18-2009, 02:11 PM
:sl: About two years ago, I went through the same thing. I wanted to start wearing the abaya during the summer, but I decided that I would start wearing it when school starts in September. Alhamdulilah a couple of weeks later, Ramadan started and that really helped me stick to it until now.

My school was like 90% Muslim, we had Friday prayers in the gym, we were allowed to go to class late in order to pray dhur or be excused etc. So alhamdulilah, but not everyone is as fortunate as I was. You've just gotta make a lot of du'a and stick to it.

I moved to the US about a year ago. And in all honesty, I was so disheartened because I'd interview for jobs and they would make it seem like they would hire me but I knew they wouldn't based on the fact that I chose to conform to my islamic way(s) of dress. My mom was getting so stressed out because she really wanted me to get a job. She told me to try to stop wearing all black and maybe some skirts. But I didn't give in. I made so much du'a, and alhamdulilah the last job I applied for I got the next day. My boss called me and asked me If I could work on Monday. I was so happy, and so was my mom. So you see, if you leave something for the sake of Allaah swt he will replace it with something better. Or if you rely on Allaah swt, and not haraam means, he will provide for you in ways you'd never imagine alhamdulilah.

Where I work there are sisters in Somali jilbaabs, abayas, even one in niqab masha'Allaah but she works at the desk. And that made me feel very happy. Because I could feel comfortable around a lot of people. And the sisters working there are extremely brave.

Oh and don't bother with how people perceive the way you look. Especially from kufaar, cause they will honestly never be pleased with you. And the only one you should be trying to please is Allaah swt. So rely on Allaah, make lots of du'a, and inshaAllaah you'll be in mine sis.
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Asiyah3
08-18-2009, 02:45 PM
Thank you so much! I really took those words to heart, but Crayon and Intisar in my case there is no other hijabis ( and barely few muslims in the whole school who don't seem to practice. Since this one girl wears shorts etc. and this other boy thinks that hijab isn't obligatory). I believe there hasn't been any hijabis before in this school.

Those advices really helped, may Allah bless you. It's just bothersome since my friends may not even recognize me, and I have to admit that I'm kinda embarrased. Though I feel guilty for these feelings since Allah is the MostHigh. How can possibly people's thoughts be more important to me?

Right now I'm making up the fasts I missed last Ramadan and soon Ramadan will begin. I know I should just be patient and I really try to think about the Hereafter etc. Still I feel like now there's a curtain on my heart. I mean at first when I decided to wear hijab properly I decided not to care what others think, but now my feelings have changed a bit.

I feel now a bit better though still a bit :(. And those comments are truly helping.
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crayon
08-18-2009, 02:48 PM
It's just bothersome since my friends may not even recognize me
Well soon everyone will recognize you! You'll be the awesome girl in the abaya- one of a kind! :D

I wish you well, sister, may Allah bless you and reward you always. :)
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Asiyah3
08-18-2009, 02:52 PM
Originally Posted by crayon
Well soon everyone will recognize you! You'll be the awesome girl in the abaya- one of a kind! :D

I wish you well, sister, may Allah bless you and reward you always. :)

Insha'llah. Thank you and may Allah reward you! I try to think that it's only one-two week this will continue.

Man, why does this have to be so hard? :/ :D
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crayon
08-18-2009, 02:54 PM
Because Jannah doesn't come easy, and if it did, it wouldn't be worth it. :)
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Asiyah3
08-18-2009, 03:00 PM
That's so true. Thanks I think I'm now convinced ;). This is probably just a test.

Thank you so much, you really helped me alot May Allah reward you. I'm doing this for Allah, may He be exalted.
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Salahudeen
08-18-2009, 03:11 PM
Carry on wearing it sister, so you stand out from the rest of the crowd that's actually a good thing because your not like them so no point trying to be like them :)

your different from them inside so let it show on the ouside. You have your own identity, morals and personality.

Don't let the people who you hang around with influence them. This is indeed a test of your character, show you have strong character and won't let what other people think affect you.

Cos at the end of the day it doesn't matter what they think :) they're the people who follow their desires and do whatever they want like animals.

Your the person who obey's Allah the great and submits her will to his command, take pride and honour in the way you dress.

I for 1 am very proud of you my dear sis and I know many people would be, that goes for all the sister's who dress in obediance to Allah.
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Asiyah3
08-18-2009, 03:35 PM
Originally Posted by squiggle
Carry on wearing it sister, so you stand out from the rest of the crowd that's actually a good thing because your not like them so no point trying to be like them :)

your different from them inside so let it show on the ouside. You have your own identity, morals and personality.

Don't let the people who you hang around with influence them. This is indeed a test of your character, show you have strong character and won't let what other people think affect you.

Cos at the end of the day it doesn't matter what they think :) they're the people who follow their desires and do whatever they want like animals.

Your the person who obey's Allah the great and submits her will to his command, take pride and honour in the way you dress.

I for 1 am very proud of you my dear sis and I know many people would be, that goes for all the sister's who dress in obediance to Allah.
Thanks a lot, may Allah reward you with all good dear brother. You're 100% right about everything you said. Thank you very much.
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