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limitless
08-22-2009, 08:37 PM
:sl:

Why is it that I always see muslim women cheating on their husbands when the husband has been good to them in every possible way. I don't understand this at all. Why are muslim women now adays always requesting a divorce over simple problems or saying they don't love their husband anymore and want to marry another men?

I am just furious about this! I don't know if people have noticed anything lately, but this is just getting out of hand. A friend of mine's mother had cheated on her husband and left everything for some another man, who she "loves a lot". What is this nonsense??????

It just brings back my old days bad image regarding marriage and women in general. How do I even tell someone who is planning to get married, oh no they won't cheat, their "awesome and great"? When the reality isn't so good..

I just feel really down about this. Seeing my friend and how the family just fell apart. I don't even want to think about it, I just no longer feel like trusting anyone.

:wa:
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markislam
08-23-2009, 12:39 PM
that is really scary i never heard of it before
Reply

crayon
08-23-2009, 12:44 PM
All I see in your post are huge generalizations.
Reply

GuestFellow
08-23-2009, 12:49 PM
Asslamu Alikum.

Some Muslim couples are getting a divorce over petty reasons. People need to take marriage seriously and understand problems will arise eventually. Though many people have a false perception of marriage to begin with.
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Malaikah
08-23-2009, 01:31 PM
For the record, Muslim men cheat too. I have heard of a case recently.

The overwhelming majority of Muslims do NOT commit zina. It is not correct for you to be so worried about it. Brother, have faith in Allah. Marry a righteous Muslim woman and ask Allah to keep you both steadfast and protect you from infidelity.
Reply

Najm
08-23-2009, 01:57 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by crayon
All I see in your post are huge generalizations.

AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

HUGE!!

Brothers and Sisters, we can never know what happens in these cases, and whos fault is it. It not for us to judge these people or even the people we get married to etc. Allah knows what we dont know!!!

Muslims, men and woman are humans, we all make mistakes and regrets.

Your trust and faith is with Allah.

Only recently one of the brothers was asked what would he do if his wife runs away with your money or with another man.

And he gave the most amazing answer! He said "As long as a husband, i have done my duty to her, i have done everything to uphold the islamic values, and she leaves me, then so be it, cause inshaAllah Allah will not hold me against"

SubhaanAllah, this should be our attitude in life, in marriage, in everything we do.

Brother dont think about others not giving you yours rights, think about you fulfilling yours.

FiAmaaniAllah
Reply

Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн
08-23-2009, 02:15 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by limitless
:sl:

Why is it that I always see muslim women cheating on their husbands when the husband has been good to them in every possible way. I don't understand this at all. Why are muslim women now adays always requesting a divorce over simple problems or saying they don't love their husband anymore and want to marry another men?

I am just furious about this! I don't know if people have noticed anything lately, but this is just getting out of hand. A friend of mine's mother had cheated on her husband and left everything for some another man, who she "loves a lot". What is this nonsense??????

It just brings back my old days bad image regarding marriage and women in general. How do I even tell someone who is planning to get married, oh no they won't cheat, their "awesome and great"? When the reality isn't so good..

I just feel really down about this. Seeing my friend and how the family just fell apart. I don't even want to think about it, I just no longer feel like trusting anyone.

:wa:
:sl:

I understand your concern but please don't generalize :exhausted
I don't thinks it's fair that you see one case and base the same for all others...it's like your saying I would too and that my mom is doing such or all my female cousins, friends, and all the married sisters here :hmm:
It's not the case.
Reply

zakirs
08-23-2009, 03:26 PM
:sl:

Bro i think you are living on the wrong side of the world.On my side muslim men cheat their wives a lot. :D

So , dont just generalise.Just remember that there are more bad people on this earth than good ones ;)
Reply

ardianto
08-23-2009, 03:44 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by limitless

Why is it that I always see muslim women cheating on their husbands when the husband has been good to them in every possible way. I don't understand this at all. Why are muslim women now adays always requesting a divorce over simple problems or saying they don't love their husband anymore and want to marry another men?
There is no difference between muslim women and non-muslim women in this case.

I know, some women cheating on their husbands, request a divorce and want to marry another men, because those another men are richer and they think, those another men are better than their husbands.

But I found 'many many many' women who always try to be a good wife and they always loyal to their husband although their husbands are poor or even have bad deeds. Don't ever thinking every woman is not loyal to her husband.

Or try to compare, how many women who cheat their husbands, and how many men who cheat their wives.
Reply

Abdu-l-Majeed
08-23-2009, 03:51 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by limitless
:sl:

Why is it that I always see muslim women cheating on their husbands when the husband has been good to them in every possible way. I don't understand this at all. Why are muslim women now adays always requesting a divorce over simple problems or saying they don't love their husband anymore and want to marry another men?

I am just furious about this! I don't know if people have noticed anything lately, but this is just getting out of hand. A friend of mine's mother had cheated on her husband and left everything for some another man, who she "loves a lot". What is this nonsense??????

It just brings back my old days bad image regarding marriage and women in general. How do I even tell someone who is planning to get married, oh no they won't cheat, their "awesome and great"? When the reality isn't so good..

I just feel really down about this. Seeing my friend and how the family just fell apart. I don't even want to think about it, I just no longer feel like trusting anyone.

:wa:
:wasalamex

As it's already said: you generalize too much, brother, and that's probably the biggest problem with your post.

Also, whenever a woman cheats her husband, that means she cheats him another man, so on every cheating woman comes a cheating man.

I personally heard for many stories of men who divorced their wifes for zero reason.
Reply

Rasema
08-23-2009, 04:20 PM
Assalamu Alikum wa rahmatu Allahi wa barakatuhu

You shouldn't be angry, you should feel sorry for them.

218. Abu Hurayra reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "Do you know who is really destitute?" They said, "The destitute among us are those who have no money or property." He said, "The truly destitute person among my community is someone who comes on the Day of Rising with prayer, fasting and zakat, but having insulted this person and slandered that person and consumed the property of this person and shed the blood of that person and beaten that person. He will give this person some of his good deeds and that one some of his good deeds. If his good deeds are wiped out before he has paid what he owes, some of their wrong actions are taken and thrown on him and then he is thrown into the Fire." [Muslim]

All of their ibadat and efford is void,and for what? to insult and put down others!
How foolish some people are.

Tell them that their lucky she left. You don't want a woman like that in the first place.
Reply

touba
08-23-2009, 05:52 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by limitless
:sl:

Why is it that I always see muslim women cheating on their husbands when the husband has been good to them in every possible way. I don't understand this at all. Why are muslim women now adays always requesting a divorce over simple problems or saying they don't love their husband anymore and want to marry another men?

I am just furious about this! I don't know if people have noticed anything lately, but this is just getting out of hand. A friend of mine's mother had cheated on her husband and left everything for some another man, who she "loves a lot". What is this nonsense??????

It just brings back my old days bad image regarding marriage and women in general. How do I even tell someone who is planning to get married, oh no they won't cheat, their "awesome and great"? When the reality isn't so good..

I just feel really down about this. Seeing my friend and how the family just fell apart. I don't even want to think about it, I just no longer feel like trusting anyone.

:wa:
Mashalah Mashallah you are talking about the muslims women in general is like you catched them all cheating , As a muslim you shouldnt talk like that about muslim women because hamdollah they are the best clean protected respect women in the world they are fear from Allah Subhanahou Wa Taala take the example from your mother and sister and aunty and others from your family im sure they are clean respect women and that mean as there is a bad people there is also good people and most of women cheaters are christians and jewishs but absolutley not muslims women hamdollah

So dont worry and get married and trust your muslim wife
Reply

cat eyes
08-23-2009, 06:39 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by limitless
:sl:

Why is it that I always see muslim women cheating on their husbands when the husband has been good to them in every possible way. I don't understand this at all. Why are muslim women now adays always requesting a divorce over simple problems or saying they don't love their husband anymore and want to marry another men?

I am just furious about this! I don't know if people have noticed anything lately, but this is just getting out of hand. A friend of mine's mother had cheated on her husband and left everything for some another man, who she "loves a lot". What is this nonsense??????

It just brings back my old days bad image regarding marriage and women in general. How do I even tell someone who is planning to get married, oh no they won't cheat, their "awesome and great"? When the reality isn't so good..

I just feel really down about this. Seeing my friend and how the family just fell apart. I don't even want to think about it, I just no longer feel like trusting anyone.

:wa:
brother it bothers me also like when i log on to this forum alll i see is bad stories never any good ones lol but seriously the amount of stories i came across has really made me afraid also.. it saddens me and i go through all this mixed emotions of how our next generation of kids will be... there is alot of people leaving there spouse for no reason like once i read somewhere this man left his wife just because she got a bit fat.. he left her for another woman and even encouraged that woman to leave her husband as she was also married and she even had kids.. he also did so as you can see its very sickening altogether! i don't know what to think anymore, i just pray!
Reply

zakirs
08-23-2009, 06:55 PM
man left his wife just because she got a bit fat.
May allah teach lesson to all people like that so that never will again be misuse of marriage.

:sl:
Reply

Ummu Sufyaan
08-24-2009, 07:19 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by limitless
:sl:

Why is it that I always see muslim women cheating on their husbands when the husband has been good to them in every possible way. I don't understand this at all. Why are muslim women now adays always requesting a divorce over simple problems or saying they don't love their husband anymore and want to marry another men?

I am just furious about this! I don't know if people have noticed anything lately, but this is just getting out of hand. A friend of mine's mother had cheated on her husband and left everything for some another man, who she "loves a lot". What is this nonsense??????

It just brings back my old days bad image regarding marriage and women in general. How do I even tell someone who is planning to get married, oh no they won't cheat, their "awesome and great"? When the reality isn't so good..

I just feel really down about this. Seeing my friend and how the family just fell apart. I don't even want to think about it, I just no longer feel like trusting anyone.

:wa:
1. stop forcing women into marring men they cant stand, take care of her and her needs and maybe she wont think of cheating.

2. take a reality check, get over your ego's becuase are you trying to tell me Muslim men don't cheat on their wives?
Reply

hmmm
08-24-2009, 08:17 AM
Assalamu Alikum,

Just wanted to make a quick note- be careful with generalizations.. not all women or muslim women cheat.

Also, there could be many factors on why couples divorce.. people seem less willing to work it out.. divorce appears to be more acceptable nowadays.. perhaps they are not in love with their mate and nor do they respect them, etc..

Is it possible that Allah created all sorts of different characters, (from one end of the spectrum to the other)- People differ in the way they think, speak, how they process information, they way they act, etc. That is, we were born with certain unique traits and each one of us can’t think/act or react in the same exact manner.. Therefore, is it possible that some people are just prone to infidelity while others are monogamous? And that somehow in the larger scheme of things—there’s a balance in the world?
Reply

Intisar
08-24-2009, 08:21 AM
''Why do Muslim men do this...''

''Why do Muslim women do that...''

Don't you think you should reap as many rewards as you can during Ramadan instead of this idle chat that in the end, has no benefit to you nor I? We can talk and talk and talk about why Muslim women cheat on their good husbands, but at the end of the day every marriage is different so it's really pointless.
Reply

limitless
08-26-2009, 08:45 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by crayon
All I see in your post are huge generalizations.
There no generalization, it was suppose to be some that was the intention but whatever. And, I've seen it, and it happens. If this is all you had to say, then you wasted your time because that is not what I was looking for. Jazakallah for replying.

format_quote Originally Posted by Light of Heaven
:sl:

I understand your concern but please don't generalize :exhausted
I don't thinks it's fair that you see one case and base the same for all others...it's like your saying I would too and that my mom is doing such or all my female cousins, friends, and all the married sisters here :hmm:
It's not the case.
No, i should've made it some, not all because thats what I had the intention of, not all, emotion got the best of me.

format_quote Originally Posted by Abdu-l-Majeed
:wasalamex

As it's already said: you generalize too much, brother, and that's probably the biggest problem with your post.

Also, whenever a woman cheats her husband, that means she cheats him another man, so on every cheating woman comes a cheating man.

I personally heard for many stories of men who divorced their wifes for zero reason.

That isn't the problem. I don't generalize every day of my life or anything. That didn't even answer what I was looking for. Thanks for the reply.

format_quote Originally Posted by Rasema
Assalamu Alikum wa rahmatu Allahi wa barakatuhu

You shouldn't be angry, you should feel sorry for them.

218. Abu Hurayra reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "Do you know who is really destitute?" They said, "The destitute among us are those who have no money or property." He said, "The truly destitute person among my community is someone who comes on the Day of Rising with prayer, fasting and zakat, but having insulted this person and slandered that person and consumed the property of this person and shed the blood of that person and beaten that person. He will give this person some of his good deeds and that one some of his good deeds. If his good deeds are wiped out before he has paid what he owes, some of their wrong actions are taken and thrown on him and then he is thrown into the Fire." [Muslim]

All of their ibadat and efford is void,and for what? to insult and put down others!
How foolish some people are.

Tell them that their lucky she left. You don't want a woman like that in the first place.
Thank you for sharing that :).

format_quote Originally Posted by Umm ul-Shaheed
1. stop forcing women into marring men they cant stand, take care of her and her needs and maybe she wont think of cheating.

2. take a reality check, get over your ego's becuase are you trying to tell me Muslim men don't cheat on their wives?

For the record sis, you shouldn't reply when you have anger. That defeats the purpose of resolving the issue . I don't have an ego problem, but you certainly seem like you do. I never said men don't cheat. Your going way off topic and attacking me, think before you say something sister.

I think this is useless thread now, and should be closed because I never got the answer I was looking for, i will look elsewhere. Jazakallah everyone for the replies. Also to another sister, I know this is Ramadan and i know what I have to do and need to do :).
Reply

Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн
08-27-2009, 12:57 AM
:sl:

What answer are you looking for exactly?

To be fair, I can't see how this can actually be answered. People do things they shouldn't all the time...and only that person would know why they did it. Do you know both sides of the story or just one? We can't judge based on hearsay. There are loads of reasons why people do what they do, but we don't know them, do you?

To be quite honest...if you want an answer to your question...you gotta give us more detail because there is nothing else to answer from your post since most of it was based on generalizations, regardless of whether you meant it or not. We replied according to your post and and responded to what we could and what we saw coming out of it.

So please do give us some credit :)
Reply

Salahudeen
08-27-2009, 01:35 AM
the bro/sis was obviously very upset at the time he wrote the post so please do forgive him for not wording it exactly to your liking.

^ what should she give credit for, all i've read is the word "generalization" over and over, it's like the number 1 word in this thread, it doesn't require 10 people to point out he made a generalization lol.

The bro/sis obviously just wanted to know what motivates certain people to cheat on their husbands when they have it all, the perfect life.

people say stuff when they're upset cos they're not thinking clearly so please do try to forgive the mistake lol that the thread starter made.


"I never got the answer I was looking for, i will look elsewhere"

^ I think what the thread starter was refferring to here was, all she could see in the majority of answers was the word "generalization" which isn't really what he/she was looking for,

may allah have mercy on him/her, how could he/she do such an evil thing, may Allah forgive him/her for this big mistake of making a generalization in his/her depressed mind state. lol
Reply

Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн
08-27-2009, 01:45 AM
Lol what are u getting mad about. I said it calmly and the bro didnt seem to get offended by my post. And again, I'm not being rude, so u shouldnt either :) Btw the OP is a bro. I'm not trying to be mean or anything. I just wrote what I thought and I understand why he is the way he is.

Thanks

:sl:
Reply

Salahudeen
08-27-2009, 01:51 AM
I'm not getting mad, I'm completely calm, and who said I was talking about your post directly?? I don't recall saying you were being rude?? and sorry if you found my post rude you obviously understood it wrongly.

I just meant it doesn't take 10 people or however much it was to point out he made a generalization. Or should I say repeat the word generalization lol.

^ I didn't say the bro got offended by it, he could be laughing and playing the game "count how many times you see the word generalization" lol
Reply

Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн
08-27-2009, 01:57 AM
^ what should she give credit for, all i've read is the word "generalization" over and over, it's like the number 1 word in this thread, it doesn't require 10 people to point out she made a generalization does it.
Gimme a break will ya. I duno bout anyone else but I wasnt trying to scrutinize, I just thought it was odd and unfair. THat doesnt mean I dont understand why he is the way he is. And I didnt blame him I only advised. I didnt repeat the word either. I said it once nicely and gave examples why its not the case.
Reply

Salahudeen
08-27-2009, 02:22 AM
^ don't need to justify yourself to me lol it is indeed unfair to say all Muslim women cheat but the op was obviously letting his emotions get the better of him due to the fact that his friend was going through this. I don't think you were trying to scrutinize him, I don't think you were blaming him. I jus said it's funny the amount of people who wrote generalization lol
Reply

Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн
08-27-2009, 02:43 AM
Ook well I'd like to apologize anyway in case I may have said anything wrong, that includes u too :)

:sl:
Reply

Woodrow
08-27-2009, 02:48 AM
:sl:

Each of us is human. As a result that which we see or experience is what we see as our world. If we only know two women and they cheat on their husbands in our view all women do. That is not a wrong view it is simply incomplete. None of us have a true picture of the whole world each of us has a limited window through which we perceive our world. With time and searching we can find more windows and expand our views, but we are still limited to our own view points.

By expressing our view points we can elicit the views of other people and through them we expand our views. It is far better we speak of what angers us and learn from others how wide or narrow our own views are. But, we must always remember that no matter how broad our views are, they are still limited and while correct for what we see they are not complete as what we do not see may be the exact opposite.
Reply

Ansariyah
08-27-2009, 03:01 AM
Wen people stop fearing Allah
they lose their Imaan
they forget Akhirah
everything bad becomes easy.

This is for men & women, shaytan does not discriminate.
Reply

mahfuja
08-27-2009, 03:09 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by limitless
:sl:

Why is it that I always see muslim women cheating on their husbands when the husband has been good to them in every possible way. I don't understand this at all. Why are muslim women now adays always requesting a divorce over simple problems or saying they don't love their husband anymore and want to marry another men?

I am just furious about this! I don't know if people have noticed anything lately, but this is just getting out of hand. A friend of mine's mother had cheated on her husband and left everything for some another man, who she "loves a lot". What is this nonsense??????

It just brings back my old days bad image regarding marriage and women in general. How do I even tell someone who is planning to get married, oh no they won't cheat, their "awesome and great"? When the reality isn't so good..

I just feel really down about this. Seeing my friend and how the family just fell apart. I don't even want to think about it, I just no longer feel like trusting anyone.

:wa:
Bro you just generalised muslim women into one category! you repetitivley using the word "always" seems like you know all the women in this world ... its an unfair judgement to make!

its like when people say "all muslims are terrorists" due to mistakes of a few ignorant people!
Reply

Salahudeen
08-27-2009, 03:15 AM
and to add do that, don't generalize LOOL j/k
Reply

Alphadude
08-27-2009, 03:25 AM
i have seen alot of stuff like this happening wife is cheating and husband is cheating iswell but in my view it starts from some were and there is a good reason why it happens and most of this kinda stuff happens in none muslim countrys but in my view women has its own needs and that should be done and some question still remains as why?
Reply

convert
08-27-2009, 03:56 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Umm ul-Shaheed
1. stop forcing women into marring men they cant stand, take care of her and her needs and maybe she wont think of cheating.

2. take a reality check, get over your ego's becuase are you trying to tell me Muslim men don't cheat on their wives?
1. stop allowing yourselves to be slaves to culture

2. no excuse for men to do this either, especially when there is the permission for up to 4 wives

i see plenty of this going on too. it seems to be a western-muslimah phenomenon though. allahu alam.

the hudood is there for a reason in this case. infidelity destroys families.
Reply

Ummu Sufyaan
08-27-2009, 04:21 AM
1. stop allowing yourselves to be slaves to culture
we don't have a choice. "marry so and so or else i'll boot you out of home and you'll have no where to go" what else is one meant to do?
2. no excuse for men to do this either, especially when there is the permission for up to 4 wives
or the command to lower your gaze. (not to disagree with you on the permissibility of 4 wives)

i see plenty of this going on too. it seems to be a western-muslimah phenomenon though. allahu alam.
what do you mean :?
Reply

Ummu Sufyaan
08-27-2009, 04:28 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by limitless
For the record sis, you shouldn't reply when you have anger.
even if i was replying in anger, it doesn't make my point less valid.
I never said men don't cheat.
but you weren't exactly willing to point it out either.

I don't have an ego problem, but you certainly seem like you do. I never said men don't cheat. Your going way off topic and attacking me, think before you say something sister.
i didn't say you did. i was speaking generally. and attacking? look whose talking.
Reply

GuestFellow
08-27-2009, 04:34 AM
I think we can all agree both Muslim husbands and Muslim wives do some bad things. : o
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