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nazzal
08-29-2009, 04:11 AM
Here's the thing straight up. The man I am in love with is a muslim, and I am not. I have known him for a year and we often talk about our future together. Recently, as things have become more permanent, he has asked me to consider converting to Islam so we could get married. I love Islam, because I love this man, and everything he stands for I agree with. The principles and ethics of Islam are pretty much the same as my own personal principles.

My problem is, that I am quite young (19) and while choosing to spend my life with this man is an easy decision, choosing to spend my life as a muslim is more difficult. It's not the rules that I find challenging,(I don't drink, I dress conservatively, I am also, shall we say, untouched) it's quite simply the faith. I have been brought in a primarily atheist household. I struggle with the concepts of heaven and hell, although I do firmly believe in a higher power.

The reason I'm posting is because I love this man and his religion, but for me personally i struggle with certain concepts of faith. . . I fear that this may be something ingrained into me, and I want to know if other converts struggled with this initial feeling. I do not want to insult Islam by joining it when I do not truly believe, even for the sake of love. I know I have to accept Islam on my own terms for this marriage to have a chance, otherwise I'll just resent my partner.

Any advice you have for me would be deeply appreciated, I'm in a state of turmoil and I have no answers.
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جوري
08-29-2009, 09:52 PM
:welcome: aboard.. good to have you here..
enjoy your stay
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cat eyes
08-29-2009, 10:13 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by nazzal
Here's the thing straight up. The man I am in love with is a muslim, and I am not. I have known him for a year and we often talk about our future together. Recently, as things have become more permanent, he has asked me to consider converting to Islam so we could get married. I love Islam, because I love this man, and everything he stands for I agree with. The principles and ethics of Islam are pretty much the same as my own personal principles.

My problem is, that I am quite young (19) and while choosing to spend my life with this man is an easy decision, choosing to spend my life as a muslim is more difficult. It's not the rules that I find challenging,(I don't drink, I dress conservatively, I am also, shall we say, untouched) it's quite simply the faith. I have been brought in a primarily atheist household. I struggle with the concepts of heaven and hell, although I do firmly believe in a higher power.

The reason I'm posting is because I love this man and his religion, but for me personally i struggle with certain concepts of faith. . . I fear that this may be something ingrained into me, and I want to know if other converts struggled with this initial feeling. I do not want to insult Islam by joining it when I do not truly believe, even for the sake of love. I know I have to accept Islam on my own terms for this marriage to have a chance, otherwise I'll just resent my partner.

Any advice you have for me would be deeply appreciated, I'm in a state of turmoil and I have no answers.
you are 19 and do you mind me asking what age the brother is? and what do you mean that you love him.. are you in relationship with him outside of marriage?.. that would be a major sin on his part and it says alot about this guys character also. it seems very immature to say to you that you should revert first to islam all because he wants to marry you.. there is countless girls who marry an revert for the sake of the man only because of love but then when that all fails they leave islam without having any proper knowledge...

you seem like a very intelligent girl and welcome to the forum. i would advise you sister you learn more about islam and studying it before you even consider reverting! and DON'T REVERT just because of this man that you love because to me you seem highly confused and i would not rush in to anything.
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Danah
08-29-2009, 10:16 PM
Welcome to the board, I hope you will have a beneficial stay here and find what you are looking for.

format_quote Originally Posted by nazzal
and I want to know if other converts struggled with this initial feeling. I do not want to insult Islam by joining it when I do not truly believe, even for the sake of love. I know I have to accept Islam on my own terms for this marriage to have a chance, otherwise I'll just resent my partner.

Any advice you have for me would be deeply appreciated, I'm in a state of turmoil and I have no answers.
There are many converts here in the board you can see their posts to know more about the difference the one feel after being a muslim
Also, we have two sections that I think you will find what you are looking for as there are some interesting topics there. Feel free to ask anything here and members here will be more than happy to help

Discover Islam

and this:
New Muslims


May Allah lead you to the true path, enjoy your stay :)
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Clover
08-29-2009, 10:17 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by nazzal
Here's the thing straight up. The man I am in love with is a muslim, and I am not. I have known him for a year and we often talk about our future together. Recently, as things have become more permanent, he has asked me to consider converting to Islam so we could get married. I love Islam, because I love this man, and everything he stands for I agree with. The principles and ethics of Islam are pretty much the same as my own personal principles.

My problem is, that I am quite young (19) and while choosing to spend my life with this man is an easy decision, choosing to spend my life as a muslim is more difficult. It's not the rules that I find challenging,(I don't drink, I dress conservatively, I am also, shall we say, untouched) it's quite simply the faith. I have been brought in a primarily atheist household. I struggle with the concepts of heaven and hell, although I do firmly believe in a higher power.

The reason I'm posting is because I love this man and his religion, but for me personally i struggle with certain concepts of faith. . . I fear that this may be something ingrained into me, and I want to know if other converts struggled with this initial feeling. I do not want to insult Islam by joining it when I do not truly believe, even for the sake of love. I know I have to accept Islam on my own terms for this marriage to have a chance, otherwise I'll just resent my partner.

Any advice you have for me would be deeply appreciated, I'm in a state of turmoil and I have no answers.
Your beliefs are worth then anyone. Cause they are yours. Don't change your beliefs, cause of a man. If you love him, then study his beliefs, and go from there.

Welcome, and Good Luck
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