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true_muslimmah
09-02-2009, 03:31 PM
:sl:

Men wearing gold is haraam in Islam which we all know. I mean when it comes to weddings, especially pakistani weddings bcuz im a pakistani myself, why do they go to great lengths and buy gold for the groom such as rings, watch and chains when our Propet Muhammad S.A.W has forbidden them from doing so?

I am due to get married soon insha'Allah and just while ago i had a word with my mum regarding this matter and she said yeah it is haraam but they still do it. I mean why cant they but Islam first instead of putting culture which they are sinning for?

I said to my mum no matter what i dont ant you to gift him ANY gold at all, real silver or white gold with do as a subsitute or even better dont bother with that and guft something which will be more rewarding and bemficial for us. Agree?

But i know that this aint going to happen, my parents will follow the culture of theirs, what can be done?

Any advice will be helpful insha'Allah

:wa:
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The Ruler
09-02-2009, 03:39 PM
To defy culture is a monsterous thing to do. Especially when you abide in a place where the culture is upheld pretty strongly.

But really, is something as minute as a wedding ring going to cause a major problem? What can the people say when they know that it's not a ring of gold, but rather, one of silver and stone?

That aside, I believe white gold is gold too, no?
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أبو سليمان عمر
09-02-2009, 03:51 PM
why sis i dont know Allah knows best lack of faith maybe for if u can say i know its haram and yet still do it is not wise.. but to own gold isnt haram in of it self it is haram for him to wear it
white gold is haram for men to wear as well
FUNNY THING IS where i come from it is the man who gets the women the gold and cloths etc the women only brings herself subhan Allah
we can advice advice advice and do dua that they and we are guided
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أبو سليمان عمر
09-02-2009, 03:55 PM
Ps there is nothing wrong with culture so long as it doesnt go against islam in any why shape of form
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true_muslimmah
09-02-2009, 04:00 PM
But men wearing gold IS going Islam right...??

Can anyone please post me a hadith on this.

It is permissible for a women to wear it but that isnt the issue. Its more regarding the matter where men, even if its just for the wedding day, it is still haraam to even put it on right?

Correct me if i am wrong, May Allah forgive me
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ژاله
09-02-2009, 04:09 PM
white gold = platinum, right?
sis dont worry inshaAllah. try to convince your parents to the best of your ability and hopefully they will give in.
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أبو سليمان عمر
09-02-2009, 04:11 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by true_muslimmah
But men wearing gold IS going Islam right...??
yes 100% it is Haram (unlawful)

format_quote Originally Posted by true_muslimmah
Can anyone please post me a hadith on this.
read this inshallah maybe it will help here
format_quote Originally Posted by true_muslimmah
It is permissible for a women to wear it but that isnt the issue. Its more regarding the matter where men, even if its just for the wedding day, it is still haraam to even put it on right?
yes even just for one day it is haram
"Gold and silk are permitted to the women of my nation, forbidden to its men." (An-Nasa'i no. 5 151 , At-Tirmithi no. 1720 and Ahmad 4/394, 407)

"Men have been forbidden from wearing gold rings." (Abu Dawud no. 4044 and At-Tirmithi no. 1738) Recorded by Al-Bukhari and Muslim from Al-Bara' bin 'Azib, may Allaah be pleased with him.



When the Messenger of Allaah (sallAllaahu `alayhi wa sallam) saw a man with a gold ring on his hand, he removed it and hurled it onto the ground. He then said, "One of you takes to an ember from the Fire and then puts it on his hand!" (Muslim no. 2090) Recorded by Muslim in his Sahih from a Hadeeth of Ibn 'Abbas, may Allaah be pleased with them.

It is haram for men to wear a gold ring, neither before they get married nor after nor during the wedding it is absolutely haram for men to wear rings of gold, even if it is for marriage

Correct me if i am wrong, May Allah forgive me[/QUOTE]
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markislam
09-02-2009, 04:59 PM
i never wear gold any way not even a wedding ring :)

Glad to know that in Islam it is haraam
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aadil77
09-02-2009, 05:01 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Malaak
white gold = platinum, right?
sis dont worry inshaAllah. try to convince your parents to the best of your ability and hopefully they will give in.
nope, they're 2 different things
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Najm
09-02-2009, 06:33 PM
AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

Islam comes above all, even above traditions and cultures etc.

Gold for men, simply haram, even for a day!

I am sure you can wear other rings, such as silver etc

FiAmaaniAllah
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Eric H
09-02-2009, 08:25 PM
Greetings and peace be with you true_muslimmah;

We look on gold as a luxury, as something nice to be owned and treasured, but some people have to suffer great injustice so that we can have gold jewellery.

Watch this short video called Gold for Bread, did God know people would be unfairly treated in the search for Gold.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ubJp...ature=featured

in the spirit of praying for justice for all people

Eric
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cat eyes
09-02-2009, 09:14 PM
i think gold dose not look good on a man anyway:haha:
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Rabi'ya
09-02-2009, 09:21 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Malaak
white gold = platinum, right?
sis dont worry inshaAllah. try to convince your parents to the best of your ability and hopefully they will give in.
sorry to be a littlr off topic here but my in laws were insisting on me having gold bangles for my wedding i dont like gold so my husband took me to the jewellers to ask avout white gold. seems they thought i meant platinum too. but i wanted white gold :( still cant find nice bangles in white gold.:(
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khadija20
09-02-2009, 11:09 PM
sister you are correct. gold is not allowed for a man but they still wear gold in different cultures
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- IqRa -
09-03-2009, 11:16 AM
Haraam is haraam :-\
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Sampharo
09-03-2009, 05:15 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Rabi'ya
sorry to be a littlr off topic here but my in laws were insisting on me having gold bangles for my wedding i dont like gold so my husband took me to the jewellers to ask avout white gold. seems they thought i meant platinum too. but i wanted white gold :( still cant find nice bangles in white gold.:(
Platinum is called white gold only on financial and stock markets sister. All Jewellers sell white gold that is regular gold mixed with nickel alloys (palladium if it needs to be malleable for stone setting) and then Rhodium-plate it to give it that lustrous silver shine. They only add a small amount of platinum, silver and/or copper for weight and durability.

White gold is haraam for men, but no you won't hear many jewellers say that because they either don't know or mostly don't care and wouldn't advise against a possible sale for themselves anyway. :)
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true_muslimmah
09-04-2009, 04:31 AM
:sl:

Jazakallah Khair for all the advices, sorry i couldnt get on any earlier to reply because my laptop had a virus but Alhmadulillah its all sorted.

Right so from what i read white gold is also haraam too?

I got a tough job on my hand because this has been the custom after generations to generations that they gift the groom gold jewellery. however i am going to explain this to my family i do not know.
If they know it is haraam then why do they do it? I mean if the grooms side demand they want gold then this brother will be a big no-no if he doesnt put his foot down and explain to his side that it is clearly haraam.
Why spend so much money when we can spend that money on zakat or feed the poor. some good deed like that?

I dont want that on our wedding day, haraam is being commited, there will be no barakat in it right?

I want it to be a simple as possible but with pakistani families there will be a load of other traditions chucked in with it but im going to make sure that it doesnt go against the law of Allah SWT.
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syilla
09-04-2009, 04:53 AM
salams...

information on those different kind of gold :)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colored_gold
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أبو سليمان عمر
09-04-2009, 05:13 AM
SIS you can only do so much and as you said he should from his side do what he can and you from ur side and even if the gold does come he just doesnt have to wear it wearing it is haram.
im sorry but this to me seems a bit strange a indian brother told me that women give the men money and mahr what it seems like and i guess where u from same thing does the man have to give mahr? the reason i see it as strange like i said before where i come from the man gets the gold cloth wedding dress etc the only thing her family pays for is if they want to have a wedding party before the zafa lol i had to buy my own dubla too
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true_muslimmah
09-04-2009, 09:43 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Umar^111
SIS you can only do so much and as you said he should from his side do what he can and you from ur side and even if the gold does come he just doesnt have to wear it wearing it is haram.
im sorry but this to me seems a bit strange a indian brother told me that women give the men money and mahr what it seems like and i guess where u from same thing does the man have to give mahr? the reason i see it as strange like i said before where i come from the man gets the gold cloth wedding dress etc the only thing her family pays for is if they want to have a wedding party before the zafa lol i had to buy my own dubla too
But women ARE NOT to give dowry to the husband, actually it should be the other way around. All this is the Hindu culture. But unfortunatley it happens even to those who are Muslims in the sub continet.

Are u a pakistani by any chance? If you are then you will understand my situation. What is the point in spending hundreds and hundreds of pounds on gold when he ISNT going to wear it...??

:sl:
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