format_quote Originally Posted by
cat eyes
mabe i am very much a stereotyped person brother but we should try to make religion our first priority insha'Allah. it should come first before our famiies, spouse and kids..and it should come first before culture and everything else.
You seem to be under the impression that you only get ONE of those characteristics and can't have any other. Sister, who says that you have to sacrifice anything for religion. Do you think it is not probable for a person to say he would like to fight a pious religious woman of a certain level of looks and maybe enjoys certain type of activities and has a social standard that is a good match?
A spouse is going to be the chest that provide peace and serenity before anything else, and a harsh stiff, or unintelligent or unengaging spouse no matter how religious will not be a good one. Yes , we should get a religious person, but that does not mean to ONLY ask for religious person and not expect anything else!
i am just saying do not get consumed in things which don't matter which the younger brothers are doing these days. rejecting pious women just because they are not of the same skin colour or country when they would be islamiclly good for them.
Why would they reject the pious women? No need to come with these assumptions that it's a race issue. If you mean attractiveness though, I am sorry the man has every right to marry only someone he finds pleasing and attractive. This woman is the one he's supposed to protect his chastity with and he should feel satisfied with her and the chemistry between them.
I am sorry but I am feeling that you're trying to say men and women should just marry whatever religious person comes their way, like it's an obligation! A spouse is one of our provisions, our gifts, our blessings that God grants us to go through life with happiness and satisfaction, choosing a religious person is a guideline to consider it as a priority FIRST, but then everything else to our needs and requirements should be taken.
By your logic I ask you sister, would you marry a pious man no matter what other characteristics he has? Unintelligent, unattractive, have horrible body odour that he doesn't mind, speaks in a very vulgur way, earns no money and keeps no job, but yet is a pious kneeling prostating man who minds all the Islamic obligations and namaaz?
i honestly am not thinking negative. but the deen should come first before anything else no matter of which origin the girl comes from. you have to think on a more wiser level that this woman is going be mother of my children. this is a more mature approach.
Nobody said they want to marry someone without deen, the brother just isolated a certain characteristic that he asked about. It is a consideration that is valid and cannot be considered as racist or superficial when it is in something fundamental as marriage.
Look, we agree that religion is most important, which is fine. you just seem to believe that other things don't matter after that, and I think that is narrow-minded and being extreme with the concept. Other things matter too and are still important, and if I can have a choice between two pious women, I'll go for the one that fulfills more of my expectations and desirable qualities.