format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
I cheated on my fiance and i cannot live with myself anymore. I have asked for much forgiveness from Allah SWT the ever Mercifull. But i cannot live with this pain anymore.
This did not happen in the blessed month of Ramadhan and i am most aware of how deeply terrible my thoughtless actions were.
Anonymous, as much as it is painful and shocking it would be to your fiance that you cheated on her, I don't see that you actually had ADULTERY as the sin you recognized you did and that it is what you are asking for forgiveness.
You mentioned it as ONLY cheating. Do you believe that it was ok if you weren't engaged?
Not reducing at all the trauma it might cause the poor woman when she finds out, but the sin you need to ask God for forgiveness from and repent from, is the adultery, the breaking of your chastity.
As for your fiance, I know it might seem to you strange, but the prophet -pbuh- said not to uncover whatever God has covered (satr). Omar -RA- was very angry with a man who asked him whether he should tell suitors that his daughter made a mistake and told him not to dare open his mouth. You may wish to spare your fiance's feelings the pain and suffering, not to mention the crushed love, shaken confidence and long term mistrust that will linger whether or not you stay together.
I know some brothers and sisters here might launch at this and say that she has the right to know. Well I am sorry I disagree, you see imsad I have seen what a cheated upon woman becomes after learning of it, some doubt and blame themselves and many sink in depression and paranoia for years, and they do take it out on the next man that comes along to be a husband.
After the sin of adultery which may God forgive you for, you need to know you did a most hideous act as a young man set to be married could have done to someone else. If you get a second chance, make it right.