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muslim_muslim
09-09-2009, 07:12 PM
Salam brothers and sisters..i am 22 years old male muslim. I am seeking your help with a very significant problem that i have come across at this age..I am in love with a girl, she is in love too..i am aware of the fact that being a muslim i am bounded by a few things and as part of the strickt islamic law, i am suppose to abide by the laws...i have been in this relation for a long time now...it has taken all my patience to keep maself away from having illegal sex with her but i do kiss her, and we hold hands and stuff like tat...at time during we kiss, i get wet as well....at times when i really feel embarrassed and dont wanna do it, i jus masterbate to keep maself away from sucha dreadful sin...everytime after we are done with our romance, i feel guilty like anything in the world, i take shower, pray to Almighty to forgive me for all the sins i have committed...but technically, the catastrophe comes up when we meet up again and the feelings rises again...I want your kind advise as in how can i overcome these bad habits of mine, and do advise me if there is anything i can recite, like afta salah, which can built up my islamic character so strong that i will just be a true gud muslim,..m extremely ashamed of maself, bt i just cant help it....AstaghfirullAh...i pray regularly, bt i just cant keep maself away from this act..i will highly appreciate your assistance in this regard...
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Tilmeez
09-10-2009, 12:33 AM
A good conscience does not stop one from doing bad things; it just ruins the fun.

For Correct Salat Quraq says "its stops from sins".
Why don't you merry her? Why do you meet her, I mean what reasons get you both sit togather?
Try spending good time in positive things. Avoid unnecessary meetings with her. And there is a Quranic dua of Prophet Ayub A.S(can't find Arabic and I' sure someone will provide it) Rab'a hu An'ni Maghloobun Fantasir contamplate it as much as possible.Also recite Ta'auwaz (A'awoodo Billah) as much as possible.

For such times I used to think: "I'm not that weak that Shytan may come and distroye me at any time." No way! Stand up and sort out things in positive and halal way.

Love is not bad at all; the way you are doing it gona take you to hell fire. And that's the thing you need to take care of.

Allah may help you out of this, Inshallah.
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cat eyes
09-10-2009, 12:47 AM
asalaamu alaykum brother.

Your most welcome to the forum.
This is your first step geting back on the right path again inshallaah.
Okay brother you know what i am going to say... You should stop this haraam love relationship now and i mean NOW!! the more you keep on falling back into temptation the more your heart will get black until one day your heart will get so black, you will become astray. The one that Allah leads astray, they can never be guided again so brother you are playing with fire! Don't play with Allah because you will become the loser!!. When you feel your imaan geting weak! This is a warning sign to stop it now. As i am not a scholar, i would say you have already trapped yourself in zina, some scholars would say you have already trapped yourself because of the fact you kissed this girl and became aroused! Da two of yous are in love! Bf and gf relation! And some scholars would say no, its when you have sexual intercourse! So mabe some other members could clear this up for you. I am not actually sure! But i hope you will stop it here brother or Allah will punish you in this world. Get married and do things the halaal way! You will be much happier. Repent now and dont go near this illegal relationship again. Find a girl who you have not committed fitnah with before its to late and Allah seals your heart forever and throws his course on you for disobedience and following your whims and desires. Its not worth it my brother! DONT RISK Allah Taking your imaan away for this girl.
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muslim_muslim
09-10-2009, 06:59 AM
I am extremely grateful for all the support, guidence and love from ya all..i highly appreciate it. Bt to make maself clear, let me tell you that i am still a student and doing my bachelors from a foreign country, probably being the reason of such dreadful sins that i am not close to my family...so practically speaking, i am in no position to marry her since i need to build ma career in order to take responsibility...and i will be more thankful if people guide me a bit more and clarify tat kissing is categorised as zina, i am not talking abt any sexual intercourse, just kissing and holding hands and hugging and stuff like tat...
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Laila01x
09-10-2009, 08:18 AM
Why cant you marry her? :)
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- IqRa -
09-10-2009, 08:22 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by muslim_muslim
I am extremely grateful for all the support, guidence and love from ya all..i highly appreciate it. Bt to make maself clear, let me tell you that i am still a student and doing my bachelors from a foreign country, probably being the reason of such dreadful sins that i am not close to my family...so practically speaking, i am in no position to marry her since i need to build ma career in order to take responsibility...and i will be more thankful if people guide me a bit more and clarify tat kissing is categorised as zina, i am not talking abt any sexual intercourse, just kissing and holding hands and hugging and stuff like tat...
He's said why there.
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Tilmeez
09-10-2009, 08:27 AM
and i will be more thankful if people guide me a bit more and clarify tat kissing is categorised as zina, i am not talking abt any sexual intercourse, just kissing and holding hands and hugging and stuff like tat...
I'm sorry but you don't sound realistic here. Do you know what have you written here? You say that you do only one thing or two or so whereas I read it you say, you do every other thing except sexual Intercourse. And if you remain the same I am afraid of the day when you might here be discussing the biggest sin committed.

I don't see any further thing in it that I can advise.

:w:
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'Abd-al Latif
09-10-2009, 08:49 AM
The situation you have described can a very difficult one to be in, specially if there is an attachment towards this person. If you truely love this girl and you want her as your wife then the first step you must take is to stop meeting her and to avoid all forms of sinning because it may be that the accumilation of sins leads to the two of you parting from each other.

The Messenger of Allah (:saws:) said: No two individuals meet and love each other for the sake of Allah and then suffer a severed relation (separation) except that the reason would be for a sin committed by one of them.

If you want to lose the love you have for this woman, then let the shaytan win the struggle. But if you want to keep these beautiful emotions alive and genuine then stay the course and be steadfast. I do understand, its easy to talk than do...But I ask Allah to help you and be with you.

You do not need a career in order to get married, all you need is a job and be able to support her. You can still continue building your career while you are married so I advise you to look for work and marry this person soon. You will truly feel the bitterness of sin if you continue along this path.

Try to go ahead and suggest a decent marriage and wedding arrangement to your families and Allah will put baraka in your marriage insha'Allah.


I ask Allah to help you achieve the best for you in this world and the hereafter.
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