Girlfriend really haram?

[samyize]

Salaam brothers and sisters,


I know this question has been asked numerous times but I have yet to get a straight answer. I am in high school now and there is this really beautiful girl in my class. I really like her. IDK what religion she is but i think she is a non practicing Christian. I would never commit adultery and neither would she because of her moral and character. I really would like to ask her out, but i will not if it opposes Allah's rules. I pray 5 times a day, and I fast, so I consider myself a good Muslim. My cousins who live in France and Spain all have girlfriends but we all make our own decisions. So will I be commiting a haram act by asking this girl out. Believe me, there is no way any of us would commit adultery.

[IslamicRevival]

Salaam. Just by looking at this girl you are commiting sin and disobeying Allah SWT

In a hadith narrated by Imam Bukhari (RA), Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) has said, "a Lustful glance is the fornication/adultery of the eyes." (Bukhari vol. 2 pg. 923)

In another hadith, Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) is reported to have said, "May the curse of Allah be on the one who looks lustfully and on the one who is looked at with lust." (Mishkaat, Book of Nikah, Chapter on looking at a woman for proposal)

In the Quran. Allah says, "Say (O Nabi (Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) to the believers that they should lover their gazes." This verse refers to looking at non-mahrams (a person with whom one is permitted to marry)

Allah says, "And say to the believing women that they should lower their gazes" (Surah An-Noor)

[ahmed_indian]

Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “whenever two strangers of the opposite gender are alone with each other, Satan becomes the third one between them.” (At-Tirmidhi)”

brother, we dont know when death can come. will we like to pass to Allah while with a girl alone who is not his wife?

wht if u start developing love for her or she for u? will it not complicate life? i know many heart breaks in this situation.....first just simple friendship and then pain!

http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/S...=1119503545452

[GreyKode]

Salaam brothers and sisters,


I would never commit adultery and neither would she because of her moral and character.

Brother, I wouldn't count on that,trust me, the only way to defend yourself is to follow the prophetic teaching, I sincerely advise you to think about it, remember, a lot of people a lot stronger than you have fallen.
Youre still clean now, think it out before it's too late.

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[Najm]

Salaam brothers and sisters,


I know this question has been asked numerous timesbut I have yet to get a straight answer. I am in high school now and there is this really beautiful girl in my class. I really like her. IDK what religion she is but i think she is a non practicing Christian. I would never commit adultery and neither would she because of her moral and character. I really would like to ask her out, but i will not if it opposes Allah's rules. I pray 5 times a day, and I fast, so I consider myself a good Muslim. My cousins who live in France and Spain all have girlfriends but we all make our own decisions. So will I be commiting a haram act by asking this girl out. Believe me, there is no way any of us would commit adultery.

AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

Well the answer is NO.

Also, we do not follow what muslims do, but we follow the pure teachings of Islam and the Sunnah of Prophet (SalAllahu Alayhi WaSalam).

FiAmaaniAllah

[zakirs]

The answer is no bro.. i know its hard :( but you have to be brave and control your desires :(

edit: just to clarify no refers to having a gf.it is indeed haram

[Ansariyah]

Have u ever read the story of Burseerah?

Shoulda woulda coulda are the last words of a fool, don't become one & tell urself nothing can go wrong, between a girl that u are so attracted to n have become fond of! Obviously the fact that ur in the same class wasn't enuff for u...ur persuing more?...have u truly deeply asked urself why? Smell the coffee... already?

[true believer]

yes...yes it is

[syilla]

Salams...

this make me remember akhee al-habeshi post

I remind you to be careful, whom so ever you are, of mixing too much with the opposite gender. No matter how much a person who does not hold Islamic values tells you it is ok. Do not think so. I recall a brother whom I knew from before my days as a Muslim. He never felt the need for building such a barrier, yet one day he informed us of his despair, due to fornication which had befallen him. Allah’s help is sought, be careful!

[samyize]

I guess I'll have to listen to you guys and forget about her. Its gonna be hard though, she sits next to me in all of our classes. And like I said she is stunning. May Allah be with me, and with you as well for helping me get a straight answer. Thank You. Salaam.

[zakirs]

I guess I'll have to listen to you guys and forget about her. Its gonna be hard though, she sits next to me in all of our classes. And like I said she is stunning. May Allah be with me, and with you as well for helping me get a straight answer. Thank You. Salaam.

May allah help your will stay strong :)

[ژاله]

^Thats great mashAllah. may Allah reward you amply for that. but cant you avoid sitting next to her everyday? why make your life difficult?

[IbnAbdulHakim]

I guess I'll have to listen to you guys and forget about her. Its gonna be hard though, she sits next to me in all of our classes. And like I said she is stunning. May Allah be with me, and with you as well for helping me get a straight answer. Thank You. Salaam.

whoah whoah whoah !!!!

that is DEFINITLY gnna b hard!

you gotta STOP sitting next to her :uuh:


Allah will be with you but even the most pious God fearing people kept DISTANCE from the seductive ones! YOU DO THE SAME TOO!!!

gaze down all the time - mind on the class not the lass

OK !

[cat eyes]

that was so cute and innocent when you said its going to be hard 2 forget about her but gave me the giggles when you said you have to sit beside her haha poor guy. It will not be possible. It wont be easy how you think! Sit somewhere else little bro and inshallaah it will be easier then. :)

[Ibn Abi Ahmed]

Beautiful girls are nothing but trouble bro. Unless you're married.

It's tough - but you gotta do what you gotta do.

Believe me..if you start hanging out with her..you're resolve will start to weaken. Prevention is easier than a cure.

Time will help with the forgetting part. It does that.

Be a man and stay away - prove to yourself that you're strong enough to control your emotions and show your Lord that you're worthy of the reward of Paradise.

May Allaah make it easy on you and us.

[hrm]

Beautiful girls are nothing but trouble bro

All girls are, not just the beautiful ones :statisfie

prove to yourself that you're strong enough to control your emotions and show your Lord that you're worthy of the reward of Paradise.

This is in essence the road to Jannah but in practical terms the most difficult thing to do. Those who can control their emotions, a welcome from their Lord awaits them at the time of their death. Surah Wakaih will testify to that.

May Allaah make it easy on you and us.

Aameen

:wa: :statisfie

[hrm]

Brother, I wouldn't count on that,trust me, the only way to defend yourself is to follow the prophetic teaching, I sincerely advise you to think about it, remember, a lot of people a lot stronger than you have fallen.
Youre still clean now, think it out before it's too late.

:sl: Brother :statisfie

Very well said. No one, not even the pious ones, should be so sure about themselves when it comes to committing adultery. Given all the circumstances of ease and freedom and willingness on the part of each partner this sin is bound to take place. And I fully endorse your view. Only by following and implementing the word of Quran and teaching of Rasul Allah s.a.w we can avoid this sin.
May Allah's peace and blessings be upon Hafizoona Farujahum Wa Hafeezaat.Aameen

[Muslim Woman]

:wa:

Salaam brothers and sisters,


. Believe me, there is no way any of us would commit adultery.

How do u know ? Don't give Satan any chance to provoke u .
Allah warned us in Quran that : Don't come near to adultery .

If u 2 start going out regularly , chances are high that that will lead u 2 to commit the major sin.

Why on earth , u need to spend time with opposite sex closely ? Try to make friendship with pious persons of same sex . Try to use the blessed month in pleasing Allah .

May Allah bless you.

[Beardo]

This is how I look at it:
Girlfriend > Lust > Sin

What is your purpose for a girlfriend? Why do people marry? To satisfy their internal desires. Really, that's the main reason, right? And it's a given and known fact that pre-marital relations is not halaal. Thus, girlfriend is really Haraam.

Hope that made sense! May Allah Ta'ala make it easy for you, and us all.

[Rasema]

Salaam brothers and sisters,


I know this question has been asked numerous times but I have yet to get a straight answer. I am in high school now and there is this really beautiful girl in my class. I really like her. IDK what religion she is but i think she is a non practicing Christian. I would never commit adultery and neither would she because of her moral and character. I really would like to ask her out, but i will not if it opposes Allah's rules. I pray 5 times a day, and I fast, so I consider myself a good Muslim. My cousins who live in France and Spain all have girlfriends but we all make our own decisions. So will I be commiting a haram act by asking this girl out. Believe me, there is no way any of us would commit adultery.

You want a straight,honest answer,I'll give it to you.


You're in high school and you have time to think about hanging out with a kufi girl. And you call your self a good Muslim. Do you know a definition of a Muslim?
Well, let me inform you. A Muslim is someone who submits himself to the will of God.You do whatever God wants of you. Try your best to. You are thinking with your gutts rather than your brain.

Sorry, have you even read the Qur'an?
Do you know that you're not permitted to take kufis as friends?

Allah has given you sight, hearing so you watch to what you say and act and not to wonder of into space about some Christian girl. You think that just because you pray you're saved. We're not Christians. Do you even know if your prayers are accepted?




How old are you kid?

[Al-Yasa]

too young to have a partner

[Salahudeen]

I know how you feel bro, when I was in my teens there wasn't a women my age that I didn't find attractive, I was a maniac lol :( but alhamdulilah I was also blessed with shyness so I didn't act on my desires cos my shyness prevented me. And till this day never been with a girl or had a girl friend :) being shy is great, it protects you from yourself.

well obviously your not shy if I sat next to a girl in school I wouldn't be able to say a word the whole lesson LOL but everyones different, it gets easier to stay away from women as you get older, in your teens your hormones are raging.

what I suggest is you tell yourself that this girl could lead me to hell fire, see her as a trial for you and a temptation. I see them as shaytaan's that keeps me right away lol anyway ask yourself "would I like it if a man went out with my sister and had my sister as a girl friend and comitted all these haraam acts with her" obviously the answer will be a big "NO" so then tell yourself

" I'm not a hypocrite, I don't do to other people what I wouldn't like done to myself or my family" and inshallah this will help you to stay away. Also think of the hadith where the messenger of Allah on isr'a wal mi'rage went into the heavens and saw hell fire, he saw people being hanged by their private parts and he asked

" Gabriel who are these people" gabriel replied

" these are those who used to take part in sexual relations outside of marriage"

imagine those people being hanged by their private parts and imagine yourself among them then ask yourself is that where you really want to be?

I understand this is hard to cope with the desire is burning away every second, and seeing indecently dressed women everywhere you look doesn't help, stay away from TV and all things that will lead you to look at non mehram women.

also Allah mentions in numerous places of the Qur'an that successfull indeed are the believers who protect their private parts and chastity from imoral acts, Allah praises the believers for having this quality of chastity and protecting their private parts so it's important we have this, it's no trivial matter it's a major sin.

The messenger of Allah said

"if you guarantee me the protection of the two openings, I'll guarantee you jannah"

The openings being referred to are the mouth and the private parts, protect your tongue from backing biting and saying evil things and protect your private parts from haraam acts and inshallah jannah will come :)

this is indeed a great trial for you, you must strive to overcome it and at the end it'll feel so good that you didn't give in, when you become a master of your desires and not a slave to them :)

it's gonna be hard constant nagging in your head trying to make you feel regret that you didn't do it but tell yourself "Allah is sufficient for me" " my desires will lead me to hell"

"once I open up the doors for my desires it'll be near impossible to shut them" whenever your about to do something think to yourself "will Allah like this act that I'm about to do or not" and make this the basis for whether or not you decide to carry out that act.

if it's something that he won't like and you hear a voice saying " it doesn't matter just do it this once, doing it one time won't hurt" then remember that Allah is watching you be concious of Allah looking at you and inshallah you'll feel shame that your doing this act that is displeasing to Allah while he's watching you especially.

it works for me :) then I quickly start thinking how could I ever contemplated doing such an act while my rabb is watching me this way you never want to sin cos your always aware of Allah watching you.

so next time your looking at a girl lustfully realise that Allah is watching you and he knows your intention and what you intend and inshallah you'll feel bad :)

[hrm]

:sl::statisfie Brother very nicely written advise. This should suffice those who have wandered away from the right road and Inshallah they will.
I however, would like to add something here. Actually its a little correction I would like to make as regard one of the hadis you quoted

Also think of the hadith where the messenger of Allah on isr'a wal mi'rage went into the heavens and saw hell fire, he saw people being hanged by their private parts and he asked 

" Gabriel who are these people" gabriel replied 

" these are those who used to take part in sexual relations outside of marriage"

Actually, it was not on isr'a wal mi'rage but this dream was related to the companians by rasul Allah s.a.w one morning .It is very long hadis and I will only quote the part about fornicators. This hadis is reported by Samurah Bin Jundub r.z. """""we proceeded until we came upon a hole that resembled a baking pit, narrow at the top and wide at the bottom. Babbling and voices were issuing from it. We looked in a saw naked men and women. Underneath the pit was a raging fire; whenever it flared up, they screamed and rose with it until they almost fell out of the pit. As it subsided, they returned (to the bottom). On my inquiry it is later revealed by the angels that "" they are men and women who indulge in Zina ( adultery/fornication)''''''.
( Rawah al Imam Bukhari an Samurah)
Brother my only intention here was to add something authentic so as to double the impact of what you said. Such narrations helps everyone , including a week muslim like me who is tempted by Satan every single moment of my life.

I pray to Allah that He keeps us on the right path for the rest of our life in this world and save us from the snare of shaytan. Aameen.:statisfie

[Salahudeen]

^ it's ok brother thank you.

check out this link about looking at girls.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HxC0X...eature=related

[Al Ansari]

I am in high school now and there is this really beautiful girl in my class. I really like her. IDK what religion she is but i think she is a non practicing Christian.

wa alaikum as salaam brother,

Firstly, I know exactly what you are going through.

I would never commit adultery and neither would she because of her moral and character. I really would like to ask her out, but i will not if it opposes Allah's rules. I pray 5 times a day, and I fast, so I consider myself a good Muslim. My cousins who live in France and Spain all have girlfriends but we all make our own decisions. So will I be commiting a haram act by asking this girl out. Believe me, there is no way any of us would commit adultery.

Secondly, do not be so sure as to say you would NEVER do something. You cannot ascertain anything. You do not have full knowledge and you must realize that these statements that you are saying confirm that you believe you can control yourself. Did you hear of the story 'Barsisa the Worshipper'?

Do you know that Allaah ta'ala and his Messenger-sallallaahu alahi wa sallam- not only forbade the haraam, but the avenues leading to the haraam? Do not try to justify asking this female out by saying 'Nothing is going to happen.' That is a trick of the shaytaan-may he be cursed-and he will keep shooting the arrows that he knows that you will fall victim to until in the end you say 'how did this happen, astaghfirullah!!'

Move your seat away from this female. Lower your gaze. Implement self restraint. Insh'Allaah, are there not any Muslim sisters that you are interested in marrying when your graduate?

You have to remember looks are not everything. There are Muslim women that are way more beautiful and their character outshines any of these immodest and arrogant people. You having to ask this question should tell you that you need to tighten up your waistbelt and increase your ibadaah and make dhikr. However, you asking this question and seeking sincere advise shows that you are mindful of your deen.

May Allaah ta'ala ease your path and make you steadfast upon His way. Aameen.


WAllaahu alam

[Ayesha_Hanif]

inshAllah your time will come where you get to marry a beautiful, pious muslim girl

Allah rewards those who are patient

[Afg]

Salam, be strong and remember Allah always. May Allah help you.

[muslimbhai]

Salaam. Just by looking at this girl you are commiting sin and disobeying Allah SWT

In a hadith narrated by Imam Bukhari (RA), Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) has said, "a Lustful glance is the fornication/adultery of the eyes." (Bukhari vol. 2 pg. 923)

In another hadith, Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) is reported to have said, "May the curse of Allah be on the one who looks lustfully and on the one who is looked at with lust." (Mishkaat, Book of Nikah, Chapter on looking at a woman for proposal)

In the Quran. Allah says, "Say (O Nabi (Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam) to the believers that they should lover their gazes." This verse refers to looking at non-mahrams (a person with whom one is permitted to marry)

Allah says, "And say to the believing women that they should lower their gazes" (Surah An-Noor)

Salam,

He is not looking at her lustfully. he is looking at her with good intentions, to marry her and convert her to islam insyallah.

[OmerAsadAllah]

So difficult in highschool, you find yourself looking when you have no intention of doing it at all. Maybe your walking down a hall trying to get to your class then there she goes around the corner and you see her, surely you didn't know that person was going to pass you at that exact time while you were looking there ,but none the less you looked! Then i found myself quickly turning my head the other way. This became difficult and i really didn't know what to do i was turning my head the opposite direction every 10 seconds. Then later on i read a hadith that said " The first look is allowed ,but the second look you are accounted for because it is the gaze from shaytan". I found the solution.....lowering your gaze, seems obvious but its not until research that i found this solution. I think it is called Ghazul Basah or somethign like that lowering of the gaze.

[Ummu Sufyaan]

:sl:
see sisters, this is why you should wear hijaabs...so that the nasty bees dont come buzzing after you :D

may allah keep us firm upon His path ilaa yawnil-deen.

[Abdul Qadir]

:sl:
see sisters, this is why you should wear hijaabs...so that the nasty bees dont come buzzing after you :D

may allah keep us firm upon His path ilaa yawnil-deen.

LOL..you have nailed the questioner!! what have u done!!!

[Cabdullahi]

the aim or benefit of lowering the gaze is merely for prevention but you have to be clinical as to when to lower the sight quickly before danger comes but here in the west its far from one or two encounters of identifying the threat and thats it back home from the uni campus job done!.......NO you try to avoid one.. another one emerges and then you try to avoid that one then whilst doing so there's another one in your face with all that meat who's worst than all of them :(.

We are all on the frontline fighting a big battle

[Hayfa]

Salaam brothers and sisters,


I know this question has been asked numerous times but I have yet to get a straight answer. I am in high school now and there is this really beautiful girl in my class. I really like her. IDK what religion she is but i think she is a non practicing Christian. I would never commit adultery and neither would she because of her moral and character. I really would like to ask her out, but i will not if it opposes Allah's rules. I pray 5 times a day, and I fast, so I consider myself a good Muslim. My cousins who live in France and Spain all have girlfriends but we all make our own decisions. So will I be commiting a haram act by asking this girl out. Believe me, there is no way any of us would commit adultery.

Asalaamualykum Brother,

SubhanAllah brother fear Allah

Many people go through this and its natural to be attracted to someone however everything has limits and you need to make sure you don't cross the limits.

You said your in high school so you are young take this oppertunity while being young to devout yourself to the worship of Allah your creator.

The Messenger of Allah peace be upon him has said: Surely the most beloved of the creations to Allah, the Noble and Grand, is the youth who is young in age and who is a very handsome/beautiful individual however he places his youth and his beauty in Allah and in His obedience alone. This is the thing for which the Most Merciful [Al-Raḥmān] boasts to His Angels about and says, This is truly my servant.

Imagine Allah boasting about you to the Angles SubhanAllah how great would that be...

Brother would you ask this question to prophet Muahmmed saw? How would you act if he was with you in your classroom? Overcome your lust and desires with the love of Allah and Rasool saw.

I have close people to me who commit these sins thinking its ok because everyone else is doing it also. Don't drag yourself with them to the hellfire.
Be strong, you asked this question and that must mean that your care for your eman.

Trust me most friends wont give you advise about situations like this, you don't want to do something you will regret the rest of your life.

Be patient InshaAllah and make Dua to Allah the one that blessed you with soo much. Don't whine just because you cant have a girlfriend, remember this world is not the real life the next life is much better. This could in fact be a test from Allah, so pass the test and show Him you didnt lie when YOU said
La ila ha Illaha Muhammed ur rasool Allah

Don't be afraid to be different

[Ummu Sufyaan]

:sl:

LOL..you have nailed the questioner!! what have u done!!!

i was meant to edit that before, but i didn't get around to doing so. im sorry if anyone took that offensively, it wasn't meant to be a diss at the brothers, but more like a naseeha to the sisters...

[OurIslamic]

It's not allowed in Islam.

[Salahudeen]

mashallah brother Hayfa's post makes me wish I was in my teens again :(

[Hayfa]

mashallah brother Hayfa's post makes me wish I was in my teens again :(

Brother Hayfa happends to be a girl :embarrass

[OurIslamic]

You should help your cousins and friends who have girl friend's too.

[Cabdullahi]

Brother Hayfa happends to be a girl :embarrass

hahahaha..