Question about keeping the beard

[khan100]

Hi all,

I have recently kept a beard and intend to keep it forever. My sister is getting married in a months time and my mother is forcing me to shave my beard for one day.

Although I know its Wajib to keep a beard but defying your mother is also not allowed with the few exceptions related to Islamic matters.

She is insisting that I can keep it forever after that and she will never interfere in my religious matters. Am i suppose to adhere to her one request or I can tell her that my religious obligation does not permit me to shave my beard even for a single day. She said that she will be really hurt if I don't listen to her as she is only asking me to shave it for one day.

Please can someone throw some light on this matter as I am very confused and ideally don't want to annoy my mother.

Regards,

Mohsin Khan

['Abd-al Latif]

You're parents have no authority over you regarding the trimming or shaving of your beard. The saying of the Prophet (:saws:) takes precedence over what your mother or father say as obedience to the Messenger of Allah is obedience to Allah. And there is no obedience if it entails disobedience to Allah.

Its related by Abu Nu'aym in his book entitled "Al-Hilyah (The Ornament)" and Ibn Hibban in his Sahih that the Prophet (saw) said "Whoever seeks Allah pleasure through peoples dissatisfaction Allah will be pleased with him and will turn people satisfied him. And if he seeks people's pleasure through Allah's dissatisfaction, Allah's wrath will be inflicted on him and people will be discontent with him."

Sh. al-fawzaan says about this hadeeth;

This point is of a paramount significance in the religion, since one who pleases Allah even if through dissatisfying people will be held as a pious and righteous servant of Allah. Allah absolutely befriends the righteous and He will definitely make him content. Almighty Allah says:

"...And whoever fears Allah - He will make for him a way out and will provide for him from where he does not expect..."

(At-Talaq: 2-3).

[Woodrow]

Try to explain to your mother that to shave a beard even for one day is shaving off all of the past days it took to grow it. It would be almost like asking a pregnant female relative to have an abortion for the wedding and she can go back to being pregnant after the wedding.

[S_87]

There is no obedience to the creation when it is disobeying The Creator

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[Sampharo]

VERY kindly try to persuade your mother in whatever way you know could work with her that it is haram. In the end however like the brothers said, you may not disobey a requirement to please your mother, but you may not also displease your mother by being rude and righteous about it or challenging.

[Khalil_Allah]

man, I shaved my beard after caving in to other people's pressure. Calling me wolfman and abraham lincoln and stuff.

She wants you to shave it for aesthetic reasons, but you keep it for religious reasons. What is more important?

Now my beard is back and I don't care who says what. And I'm going to grow it until I can fit my whole fist around it, inshaAllah.

GROW WITH ME! :)

[Kabeer]

Salaam,

Try to explain to your mother that to shave a beard even for one day is shaving off all of the past days it took to grow it. It would be almost like asking a pregnant female relative to have an abortion for the wedding and she can go back to being pregnant after the wedding.

Even with a BIG emphasis on almost, you surely can't compare those two things at all . There is a huge difference :ooh:

[tango92]

i had a similar problem only my mum was telling me to shave whilst i was inschool and keep it after i was in uni or had a job. basically when the time came I just ignored her nad kept the beard. She accepted it no problem. my mum is very islamic but she just wanted me to have an easier time through college.

i read somewhere that if you do something that displeases people but pleases allah then allah will cause the people who were displeased with you to be pleased with you.

[Woodrow]

Salaam,

Even with a BIG emphasis on almost, you surely can't compare those two things at all . There is a huge difference :ooh:

Indeed there is no comparison. The analogy is both are undo able.

While each can be restarted from scratch, that which was removed is gone and irreplaceable.

[GreyKode]

Not trying to sound deviant here, but honestly I think obeying your parents in this case is more important unless you can convince them about it, better than some people who go crazy and start making takfeer on their parents and say "Youre all wrong and I am on the sunnah"

[aadil77]

Brother my mum has tried making me do that aswell, its basically a pakistani complexed mentallity - that they don't want to look 'bad' infront of other pakistanis at big events like weddings.

Recently there was a wedding where my mum forced me to trim my beard, but subhanAllah when I went to the wedding there was brother from a pakistani family, he was the same age as me and he had a fully grown beard. There were loads of other older men with beards as well. Now because my mum saw that his parents found it acceptable to have a beard - especially one that big, my mum started boasting to his mum about how she made me grow a beard and about how its soo good that both of us are religious. Its this horrible mentality some asians have in this dunya, just makes you cringe

[Woodrow]

Not trying to sound deviant here, but honestly I think obeying your parents in this case is more important unless you can convince them about it, better than some people who go crazy and start making takfeer on their parents and say "Youre all wrong and I am on the sunnah"

It is true we must always strive to obey our parents and respect them. It is also wise to avoid causing any rift between ones self and ones parents. Yet, a time does come when a child becomes an adult and must act and behave as an adult and place obedience to Allaah(swt) above obedience to one's parents.

When a situation occurs placing one at having to choose between following one's De'en and following one's parents. One must place De'en and Allaah(swt) above the wishes of parents. But, this must be done with kindness, and understanding, not with arrogance.

While living in the home of our parents we are obligated with following the rules of the home. However if the home situation hinders our De'en it is best to leave the home when old enough to do so as a responsible adult.

[Kabeer]

Indeed there is no comparison. The analogy is both are undo able.

While each can be restarted from scratch, that which was removed is gone and irreplaceable.

Not really, in one case you are taking away a life. In the other you are trimming some hair which is always growing longer again and again.....(in fact it is the same hair, its not like you are removing your hair roots).

It's a pretty bad analogy. I am suprised you can even think of it in such a way.

Peace.

[Woodrow]

Not really, in one case you are taking away a life. In the other you are trimming some hair which is always growing longer again and again.....(in fact it is the same hair, its not like you are removing your hair roots).

It's a pretty bad analogy. I am suprised you can even think of it in such a way.

Peace.

I appreciate your willingness to state your opinion. I just gave you the max reputation points I can for your willingness to point out your disagreement with my analogy.