Wanting to understand Islam better

[hellokappa]

Hey there! I'm new to this forum and as well to learning about Islam. I have some questions that I would be grateful to have clarification on.

For now, just one question;

1) Lying
I've read that Muslims are supposed to be sincere and honest in their speech and actions. However, one instance where he/she could lie is when their life is threatened, not for a wrongdoing or his personality, but simply for being a Muslim. In that sense, Allah allowed them to say that they are not Muslims from speech but in their heart, they still believe in Him. In a local forum, someone said that this is a cowardly act and that Muslims are insincere when it comes to protecting their religion.
Q: In what ways are Muslims allowed to lie? Are they allowed to break a treaty (say, war-wise) for the sake of Islam? Did Muhammad go back on his word for the sake of the religion? What is 'taqiyyah'?

Apologies if this has been answered in previous threads. If there are, I'm okay with you guiding me to that link. I created this thread because I've been reading about Islam on my own and sometimes that I can feel a little overburdened by the things I learnt and read about. It's more of me mulling thoughts in my head that it seems to go nowhere. So, my intention is more of a hopefully, continuous dialogue so I could get a clearer picture and so that my views of it is in line with Islam.

[aamirsaab]

:sl:
Taqiyah is lying about one's religion when in a life/death situation. And only in such a situation - it is not lying about the rulings of Islam or muslims to mislead others (as some islam haters on the net like to spout!).

I'll examplify it: a thug, who has me hostage, asks if I am a muslim and tells me if I say yes he will kill me (this guy has a loaded gun pointed at my head btw). In that case, I would be allowed to lie and say No I'm not.

Breaking a treaty I don't think fits under taqiyah, however.

[hellokappa]

aamirsaab: Thank you for your time taken to reply me; I appreciate it! Okay, so that's the only condition where Muslims are allowed to lie (which is perfectly acceptable imho)? Did the Prophet ever lied for the benefit of Islam? Because, in a local forum, someone mentioned something like that, so I would like to clarify. Also, what does the Qur'an and Sunnah say about white lies?

A few other questions:
2) I heard of stories where Muhammad and his followers (when they were migrating I think?) stopped some caravans and took necessities from it unlawfully for the sake of Islam and Ummah. May I know if the story is true or false and if true, more explanation?

3) Muhammad and Aisha's marriage:
a) If Muhammad consummated his marriage with Aisha when she was 9, is this a valid reason for Muslims today to marry children off?
b) I could understand the discussion that Aisha reached puberty at the age of 9, then only she's married off to Muhammad, as it's the norm at that time. However, I also read a hadith that mentions Aisha playing with dolls with her friends at Muhammad's place and Muhammad kindly allowed her to as from my understanding, dolls are only allowed for children who hasn't reached puberty. So I'm a little confuse over this conflict.
[Note: I've read the thread on Muhammad and Aisha, but it didn't answer my 2 questions, or maybe I've missed it (eyes blurred from reading a lot of pages! orz.)]

4) Qur'an 4:15 "... confine to house for the woman until Death claims her or when Allah ordain for her in another way":
I don't understand why the (lewd) men can repent and be forgiven but the woman is given a harsh punishment (and cruel from the standpoint of psychology). From my understanding, God has ordained the women in the form of 100 lashes. The only excuse I can think of is that men has to go out to work... but it's still no excuse to give this unfair punishment. There's many passages in the Qur'an that says that both genders are equal in the eyes of God, but this feels contradictory. Could someone explain this verse to me more?

5) Women are allowed to divorce in Islam; however, is it harder for them to divorce their husband? I'm living in a country with a lot of Muslims and I notice that it's easy for the men as they need to say "I divorce you" x3 (...which is supposed to be done on 3 different occasions, but there are bad Muslims who does it in one go, and it was accepted =___=;). On the other hand, the women have to go to the court to appeal to divorce where the person in charge of the appeal can deny her that right. So many women who wants divorce, simply don't bother because it's a hassle or they don't have the time or means to do so. Sorry for the longish story; basically, I want to know whether it's harder for a woman to seek a divorce as opposed to a man.

I'm sorry if I come across as asking only negative questions; it's more of, I need to be sure. I am not trying to defame Muhammad, and I'm asking about him because Muslims look up to him as a person who is purer than most men and who is the 'walking Qur'an' in a way. My heart wants to believe but it's better if I try to be objective and have no doubts.

[hellokappa]

Okay, just realised I can't reply to a PM I received, so here's a message to Maron. Thank you for sharing your links with me! ^___^

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[aamirsaab]

:sl:
Kappa, I'll get back to you on those questions after ramadhan (roughly, next week). A lot of the topics you are enquiring about have already been discussed on this forum so you may have more luck by using the search function.

I don't have a problem in you asking questions; that's why you're here and that's what this forum is for. But, I'm quite busy (and tired) this week so I won't be able to get a proper (detailed) answer for you.

In the meantime, other members are welcome to provide neccessary links/advice/information. And do use the search function!

[hellokappa]

I tried the search function... maybe the keywords I used wasn't specific enough. Else, I could just google i guess... No rush on the answers, I know you guys are nearing the end of your fast (aka festival soon ^__^)!

[MSalman]

A few other questions:
2) I heard of stories where Muhammad and his followers (when they were migrating I think?) stopped some caravans and took necessities from it unlawfully for the sake of Islam and Ummah. May I know if the story is true or false and if true, more explanation?

no, that is not true

they may have confused you with the story of Battle of Badr. In brief, when Muslims left the Makka, they were forced to leave their properties and belonging. The kuffaar took them on a trade and sold them for other goods/money. As far the well known accounts are concerned, the Muslims planned to attack the kuffaar and take their stuff back; however, it did not happen as the kuffaar mobilized their army and the battle of Badr erupted.

Some historical accounts do say that Muslims did attack the kuffar few times and took stuff from them. Whoever thinks that taking back your own stuff is unlawful then he has no brain cell and should be given mental treatment.

a) If Muhammad consummated his marriage with Aisha when she was 9, is this a valid reason for Muslims today to marry children off?

the answer to this requires several parts:

1 - Has these Islamophobes ever questioned why our society has drastically changed over the past century? Why have we started to question things which were considered moral by our ancestors and not more than a century old? These sorts of modern day marriages are completely different than what happened in the past. So the comparison is like comparing oranges with apples. Can this be properly practiced today according to Islam? The answer is no since the circumstances have changed drastically. The young boys and girls are not matured at young ages anymore, the responsibility age changed unlike the past. The reason why they (Islamophobes) do not consider this feasible today is because the times have changed. Due to the compounded ignorance of modern societies, the age of responsibility rose from 10, 11, 12 to 18 and even at 18 many of them do not learn responsibility until much later. For them to judge what happened in their time under a 20th century prism is not only an academi crime, it is likewise a matter that opposes simple common sense and reason.

2 - These people expose their ignorance by not studying the nature of women in the time of the Prophet (peace be upon him). Instead of regarding her as a young woman whom the entire society saw fit that she, and the thousands of other women who got married around the same age, were already fit to make their own decisions as is clear in in the narrations of the arabs. For them to assume that she was unfit for the decision is for you to impugn an entire society of incivility and that the Muslims who believed in Islam along with the Prophet (peace be upon him) were a bunch of backwards idiots who did not realize what you, who came 14 centuries later, had miraculously realized in allowing the marriage to take place.

3 - In Islam, can young boys and girls be married off in young age, the answer is yes. Is it encouraged or recommended, the answer is no. There are some restrict conditions on this, for example, if there is fear of losing a righteous spouse then the parents can draw the marriage contract.

4 - Secondly, marrying off children at young age is not limited only to girls and it has only to do with drawing the marriage contract and not consummating the marriage. The marriage is not consummated until both parties are financially, mentally and physical able for it. They cannot have intercourse if it causes physical & psychological harm to any of the party, be it a boy or girl. In addition, if the consent of the girl was not sought (maybe because she was not adult), then when she reaches adulthood, and ready for consummation she can decide whether to go ahead with it or withdraw from it. This is ruling in the Shari'ah.

The problems is that either these Islamophobes are ignorant of shari' rulings or they deliberately deceive people by not giving them the whole picture. Why they consider it a problematic is because their own society has become stupid and their principles of progression has led them to nothing but destruction.

However, I also read a hadith that mentions Aisha playing with dolls with her friends at Muhammad's place and Muhammad kindly allowed her to as from my understanding, dolls are only allowed for children who hasn't reached puberty.

here is another academic crime by these haters - the FORBIDDEN dolls are only allowed for prepubescent girls. Can they prove that she was playing with forbidden dolls?

4) Qur'an 4:15 "... confine to house for the woman until Death claims her or when Allah ordain for her in another way":

this ayah has been abrogated by the ayaat in Surah Noor. Please read tafsir ibn kathir for this specific ayah. Maybe someone can quote it for you.

5) Women are allowed to divorce in Islam; however, is it harder for them to divorce their husband? I'm living in a country with a lot of Muslims and I notice that it's easy for the men as they need to say "I divorce you" x3 (...which is supposed to be done on 3 different occasions, but there are bad Muslims who does it in one go, and it was accepted =___=;). On the other hand, the women have to go to the court to appeal to divorce where the person in charge of the appeal can deny her that right. So many women who wants divorce, simply don't bother because it's a hassle or they don't have the time or means to do so. Sorry for the longish story; basically, I want to know whether it's harder for a woman to seek a divorce as opposed to a man.

1 - because it is order of Allah and the right of the husband.
2 - the hardship exists only when you have pseudo Islamic courts and not actual Islamic courts. If she really desires a divorce because her rights are being violated, then would little hardship matter to her?

I hope my tiny effort helps

and Allah knows best

[_ALI_]

Salam hellokappa

4) Qur'an 4:15 "... confine to house for the woman until Death claims her or when Allah ordain for her in another way":
I don't understand why the (lewd) men can repent and be forgiven but the woman is given a harsh punishment (and cruel from the standpoint of psychology). From my understanding, God has ordained the women in the form of 100 lashes. The only excuse I can think of is that men has to go out to work... but it's still no excuse to give this unfair punishment. There's many passages in the Qur'an that says that both genders are equal in the eyes of God, but this feels contradictory. Could someone explain this verse to me more?

Brother islamiclife is right that these verses were just the preliminary commandments regarding adultery/fornication.
004.015 وَاللاتِي يَأْتِينَ الْفَاحِشَةَ مِنْ نِسَائِكُمْ فَاسْتَشْهِدُوا عَلَيْهِنَّ أَرْبَعَةً مِنْكُمْ فَإِنْ شَهِدُوا فَأَمْسِكُوهُنَّ فِي الْبُيُوتِ حَتَّى يَتَوَفَّاهُنَّ الْمَوْتُ أَوْ يَجْعَلَ اللَّهُ لَهُنَّ سَبِيلا
004.015 If any of your women are guilty of lewdness, Take the evidence of four (Reliable) witnesses from amongst you against them; and if they testify, confine them to houses until death do claim them, or Allah ordain for them some (other) way.

Al-Qur'an, 004.015(An-Nisa [Women])

Text Copied from DivineIslam's Qur'an Viewer software v2.910
The end of the verse tells us that Allah will ordain for them a way other than confinement and He does so. Following is Modudi's explanation of the verse
These injunctions are necessarily of a preliminary nature since the people of Arabia were neither used to obeying the orders of any established government, the verdicts of any courts of law nor to following any legal code; it would therefore have been unwise to try to force acceptance of a penal code upon them so soon after the establishment of the Islamic state. In due course, the punishments for unlawful sexual intercourse, for slanderous accusations of unchastity against women, and for theft were laid down in their definitive form and served as the basis of that detailed penal code which was enforced by the Prophet (peace be on him) and the Rightly-Guided Caliphs.
http://www.islamicstudies.info/tafheem.php?sura=24
Ibn Kathir's explanation
`Some other way' mentioned here is the abrogation of this ruling that came later. Ibn `Abbas said, "The early ruling was confinement, until Allah sent down Surat An-Nur (chapter 24) which abrogated that ruling with the ruling of flogging (for fornication) or stoning to death (for adultery).'' Similar was reported from `Ikrimah, Sa`id bin Jubayr, Al-Hasan, `Ata' Al-Khurasani, Abu Salih, Qatadah, Zayd bin Aslam and Ad-Dahhak, and this is a matter that is agreed upon. Imam Ahmad recorded that `Ubadah bin As-Samit said, "When the revelation descended upon the Messenger of Allah , it would affect him and his face would show signs of strain. One day, Allah sent down a revelation to him, and when the Messenger was relieved of its strain, he said,


«خُذُوا عَنِّي، قَدْ جَعَلَ اللهُ لَهُنَّ سَبِيلًا، الثَّيِّبُ بِالثَّيِّبِ، وَالْبِكْرُ بِالْبِكْرِ، الثَّــيِّبُ جَلْدُ مِائَةٍ، وَرَجْمٌ بِالْحِجَارَةِ، وَالْبِكْرُ جَلْدُ مِائَةٍ ثُمَّ نَفْيُ سَنَة»


(Take from me: Allah has made some other way for them. The married with the married, the unmarried with the unmarried. The married gets a hundred lashes and stoning to death, while the unmarried gets a hundred lashes then banishment for a year.)''
The verse which was revealed later is

024.002 الزَّانِيَةُ وَالزَّانِي فَاجْلِدُوا كُلَّ وَاحِدٍ مِنْهُمَا مِائَةَ جَلْدَةٍ وَلا تَأْخُذْكُمْ بِهِمَا رَأْفَةٌ فِي دِينِ اللَّهِ إِنْ كُنْتُمْ تُؤْمِنُونَ بِاللَّهِ وَالْيَوْمِ الآخِرِ وَلْيَشْهَدْ عَذَابَهُمَا طَائِفَةٌ مِنَ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ
024.002 The woman and the man guilty of adultery or fornication,- flog each of them with a hundred stripes: Let not compassion move you in their case, in a matter prescribed by Allah, if ye believe in Allah and the Last Day: and let a party of the Believers witness their punishment.
Al-Qur'an, 024.002 (An-Noor [The Light])
Text Copied from DivineIslam's Qur'an Viewer software v2.910
The explanation of this verse is really long. I'll just give a link
http://www.islamicstudies.info/tafheem.php?sura=24
In short, if a married person commits adultery then whether man or woman, he/she should be killed and if an unmarried person commits fornication then whether man or woman, he/she should be flogged. Islam does discriminate regarding men and women when it comes to punishment but that goes in favour of women. Following are the excerpts of Modudi's explanation of the verse given in the link above
While flogging, a man should be made to stand and a woman to sit. In the time of Imam Abu Hanifah, Qazi Ibn Abi Laila of Kufah got a woman flogged while she was standing. The Imam took a strong objection to it and openly declared it to be a wrong thing.

At the time of flogging, the woman should be in her full dress: her clothes should rather be tied down on her so that no part of her body might be exposed; her thick clothes only will be taken off; but in regard to a man, there is some difference of opinion. According to some jurists, he will be allowed to remain in his pyjamas only, and according to some others, the shirt will not be taken off.
On a side note, the flogging is not carried out in a barbaric nature. Read point 23 of explanation in the link.

5) Women are allowed to divorce in Islam; however, is it harder for them to divorce their husband?

Women are free to choose their husband. After marriage, a Muslim woman can take divorce from their husband
Bukhari Volume 7, Book 63, Number 199:
Narrated Ibn 'Abbas:

The wife of Thabit bin Qais bin Shammas came to the Prophet and said, "O Allah's Apostle! I do not blame Thabit for any defects in his character or his religion, but I am afraid that I (being a Muslim) may become unthankful for Allah's Blessings." On that, Allah's Apostle said (to her), 'Will you return his garden to him?" She said, "Yes." So she returned his garden to him and the Prophet told him to divorce her.
So it is that easy for a woman to get a divorce under Islamic laws.

I'm living in a country with a lot of Muslims and I notice that it's easy for the men as they need to say "I divorce you" x3 (...which is supposed to be done on 3 different occasions, but there are bad Muslims who does it in one go, and it was accepted =___=;).

There is a difference of opinion whether 3 at the same time means 3 or 1. But saying "I divorce you" x 3 at the same time is a sin, there is no difference in opinion in that.

On the other hand, the women have to go to the court to appeal to divorce where the person in charge of the appeal can deny her that right. So many women who wants divorce, simply don't bother because it's a hassle or they don't have the time or means to do so. Sorry for the longish story; basically, I want to know whether it's harder for a woman to seek a divorce as opposed to a man.

Ideally in an Islamic state, the judicial proceedings should not take a lot of time and if a wife is mistreated then her right should be given to her by the judiciary without hurdles. But if an Islamic country does not follow Islamic rules, then it is no fault of Islam.
Peace