Is Spying Haram? I have a scenario...

[pridefulmuslim]

I have a cousin who is much older than me and he has a son my age that likes to be around me. My cousin has a program so that he can see my facebook account, which is my privacy. I know for a fact he goes through my facebook account because he knows what I have in it (nothing bad). His reason for doing so is to see if I am a bad influence on his son. Is what he is doing haram?

I dont like the fact that he is going through my privacy to see what type of person I am....

[cat eyes]

yeah he might be worried for his son. its a natural feeling that a parent gets. some parents are over protective of there kids. may i ask what age you are? it might have something to do with it however if your over 18years its very odd and weird why he would be checking up on the two of yous and i would make a new account

[The Ruler]

Spying: Verb (with/without object)
- to observe (a person, place, enemy, etc.) secretively or furtively with hostile intent.
- to observe secretively or furtively with hostile intent (often fol. by on or upon).

So really, your cousin isn't spying on you, he's simply keeping track of things. If you don't like it, tell him so.

But spying, in all its definition, is haraam.

[Humbler_359]

:sl: brother,

Facebook is more like celebrities on the public website. There is too much rumor, gossip, attention, spy, backbiting and photos daily. I don't agree with Facebook. :hmm:

It is better to be humble and keep happy yourself in avoiding media attentions.

Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up

[The Ruler]

^That's more twitter than it is facebook.

[Sampharo]

Dear Prideful muslim,

I assume from your post that you CAUGHT him spying or FOUND OUT that he was spying, rather than he came up front and said he is observing or monitoring your facebook page, considering that you said he "knows what I have in it" so obviously he didn't just tell you up front.

So it is spying.

Two companions were once out monitoring the streets and checking on any events for the prophet (neighborhood watch, at the time called AAasAAasa عسعسة) and passed next to a home that they heard laughter coming out of it and music, and stood there to distinctly hear that it was "drunk" laughter. They realized the homeowner was drinking. One looked at the other and said "God and his prophet are being disobeyed here tonight" and the other said "Yes, for God and the prophet told us not to spy on each other. Let's go." And they left. The prophet ratified their actions, for to interfere their sin had to be public.

So you see even though they were charged with keeping the peace and monitoring, they could not spy on the closed house, because that is PRIVATE, not public. God says in the Holy Quran: "O you who have attained to faith! Avoid most guesswork [about one another] for, behold, some of [such] guesswork is [in itself] a sin; and do not spy upon one another, and neither allow your*selves to speak ill of one another behind your backs. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? Nay, you would loathe it! And be conscious of God. Verily, God is an accep*tor of repentance, a dispenser of grace!"

If your facebook page was public, then he wasn't spying, and just looking. If you made it private to only your chosen friends and he used a program to access it or convinced someone to break into it or to simply look through from someone else's account and maintained it, then he is spying and is commiting a sin and you have a grievance against him.

Second even if he is monitring for bad influence, then he was to monitor his own son (whether or not he is below 18, this 18 minor/adult issue is unrelated to Islam) after telling him clearly that he is monitoring him. If he argues that his son wouldn't like it or agree, then he has answered himself as to how deplorable it is to be monitoring someone with their knowledge, imagine how deplorable it is to do it behind their back.

Additionally without regards to your age, your cousin has no supervisory rights over you just as you don't over him, as a matter of fact you have every right to bring this to the attention of his parents if they are alive, or another family elder because this is a transgression and a sin that he needs to repent from and apologize for, especially that you are a woman and he is a non-mahram man.

And may God maintain our guidance on the path

[pridefulmuslim]

yea his son told me he does looks through my fb page...my facebook page is private....im 18 and my cousin is 41, lol i know its a big gap, but the age diff is irrelevant...

btw im a man, not a woman lol

but thanks a lot Sampharo! that helped me out a lot!

may Allah reward u for helping a brother.

Dear Prideful muslim,

I assume from your post that you CAUGHT him spying or FOUND OUT that he was spying, rather than he came up front and said he is observing or monitoring your facebook page, considering that you said he "knows what I have in it" so obviously he didn't just tell you up front.

So it is spying.

Two companions were once out monitoring the streets and checking on any events for the prophet (neighborhood watch, at the time called AAasAAasa عسعسة) and passed next to a home that they heard laughter coming out of it and music, and stood there to distinctly hear that it was "drunk" laughter. They realized the homeowner was drinking. One looked at the other and said "God and his prophet are being disobeyed here tonight" and the other said "Yes, for God and the prophet told us not to spy on each other. Let's go." And they left. The prophet ratified their actions, for to interfere their sin had to be public.

So you see even though they were charged with keeping the peace and monitoring, they could not spy on the closed house, because that is PRIVATE, not public. God says in the Holy Quran: "O you who have attained to faith! Avoid most guesswork [about one another] for, behold, some of [such] guesswork is [in itself] a sin; and do not spy upon one another, and neither allow your*selves to speak ill of one another behind your backs. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? Nay, you would loathe it! And be conscious of God. Verily, God is an accep*tor of repentance, a dispenser of grace!"

If your facebook page was public, then he wasn't spying, and just looking. If you made it private to only your chosen friends and he used a program to access it or convinced someone to break into it or to simply look through from someone else's account and maintained it, then he is spying and is commiting a sin and you have a grievance against him.

Second even if he is monitring for bad influence, then he was to monitor his own son (whether or not he is below 18, this 18 minor/adult issue is unrelated to Islam) after telling him clearly that he is monitoring him. If he argues that his son wouldn't like it or agree, then he has answered himself as to how deplorable it is to be monitoring someone with their knowledge, imagine how deplorable it is to do it behind their back.

Additionally without regards to your age, your cousin has no supervisory rights over you just as you don't over him, as a matter of fact you have every right to bring this to the attention of his parents if they are alive, or another family elder because this is a transgression and a sin that he needs to repent from and apologize for, especially that you are a woman and he is a non-mahram man.

And may God maintain our guidance on the path

[Muslimah4Eva x]

1570. Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "Beware of suspicion, for suspicion is the worst of false tales. Do not look for other's faults. Do not spy one another, and do not practise Najsh (means to offer a high price for something in order to allure another customer who is interested in the thing). Do not be jealous of one another and do not nurse enmity against one another. Do not sever ties with one another. Become the slaves of Allah, and be brothers to one another as He commanded. A Muslim is the brother of a Muslim. He should neither oppress him nor humiliate him. The piety is here! The piety is here!'' While saying so he pointed towards his chest. "It is enough evil for a Muslim to look down upon his Muslim brother. All things of a Muslim are inviolable for his brother in Faith: his blood, his wealth and his honour. Verily, Allah does not look to your bodies nor to your faces but He looks to your hearts and your deeds.''

[Sampharo]

yea his son told me he does looks through my fb page...my facebook page is private....im 18 and my cousin is 41, lol i know its a big gap, but the age diff is irrelevant...

btw im a man, not a woman lol

but thanks a lot Sampharo! that helped me out a lot!

may Allah reward u for helping a brother.

:embarrass Ooops! :D Sorry about that. I just assumed it because of the whole "bad influence" idea. I couldn't wrap around the concept of two boys from the same family and then one thinks ill of another's values and morals and tries to investigate directly without going through the parents. I thought you were a girl since that would have been the only logical thing, as a girl's normal behaviour might still put ideas in his son's underdeveloped mind (boy-girl relationship wise) and that he wanted you two to remember that you're relatives but non-mahram.

Now that I realized it, what he did is more inexcusable in my opinion. I would never be so thoughtless as to think ill of my cousin or cousin's son or nephew and snoop around him like that. Family is a family, if someone does something wrong it is dealt with openly as all the kids learn from everybody's mistake and values are standard in a family.

Such behaviour from him is basically insulting to your parents and that he is openly saying that he doesn't believe they raised you to the same standards as he's raising his own.

I would tell your own parents (his aunt and uncle technically) and get them to deal with him. Spying was a sin, and also now it turned out even more inexcusable and a very rude move.

[Humbler_359]

^That's more twitter than it is facebook.

:sl: Sister Ruler,

Sorry, off the topic, let me ask little more, Twitter (followers something) is new, what's difference between Facebook vs Twitter?

Thank you.

[The Ruler]

:sl: Sister Ruler,

Sorry, off the topic, let me ask little more, Twitter (followers something) is new, what's difference between Facebook vs Twitter?

Thank you.

Twitter's gay. And it has a bird for a logo.

But seriously, I find twitter more... open. It's free for everyone to interact with whomever they find. Facebook, however, as I see it, is much controlled. But that's my great opinion, though. Twitter seems like a public chat group. People stalk people. On facebook, it's a little different. Interactions occur between friends only - though I know it's not always the case.

It's just that I've been a member of both and found facebook to be more 'fitnah-free' than twitter.

[pridefulmuslim]

lol its all good....but man u seem like a good person, i wish there were more ppl like you in this world...

:embarrass Ooops! :D Sorry about that. I just assumed it because of the whole "bad influence" idea. I couldn't wrap around the concept of two boys from the same family and then one thinks ill of another's values and morals and tries to investigate directly without going through the parents. I thought you were a girl since that would have been the only logical thing, as a girl's normal behaviour might still put ideas in his son's underdeveloped mind (boy-girl relationship wise) and that he wanted you two to remember that you're relatives but non-mahram.

Now that I realized it, what he did is more inexcusable in my opinion. I would never be so thoughtless as to think ill of my cousin or cousin's son or nephew and snoop around him like that. Family is a family, if someone does something wrong it is dealt with openly as all the kids learn from everybody's mistake and values are standard in a family.

Such behaviour from him is basically insulting to your parents and that he is openly saying that he doesn't believe they raised you to the same standards as he's raising his own.

I would tell your own parents (his aunt and uncle technically) and get them to deal with him. Spying was a sin, and also now it turned out even more inexcusable and a very rude move.

[cat eyes]

:embarrass Ooops! :D Sorry about that. I just assumed it because of the whole "bad influence" idea.

:giggling: nice one

[syriana]

I wouldn't be happy... i would be offended he doesn't trust me, esp if he continously checks it.. pretty odd. Allahu a3lam if he knows something about you that you may not know.

[pridefulmuslim]

^^lol thats impossible, but now i have another question..

is it haram that he is looking thru his sons privacy to know what his son is doing? even though his son does not like it?.....does it matter if he tells his son that he is looking thru it or not?

[mariyyah]

Assalamou Alaikoum Warahmatou ALLAH Taala Wabarakatou,

Is not haram what he is doing because he have to control his son and with who he deal thats islamic education well done may be you are doing something stuipd there and iam against facebook anyway

[Hamza Asadullah]

^^lol thats impossible, but now i have another question..

is it haram that he is looking thru his sons privacy to know what his son is doing? even though his son does not like it?.....does it matter if he tells his son that he is looking thru it or not?

Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wb, his parents have a right to make sure his children are not committing evil because the internet is a source of great evil for the youth because believe it or not there are SO many predators on the internet luring the youth towards evil. So many Muslim boys and girls meet strangers off the intenet you would be surprised! With SO much evil going on it is the right of every parent that they should keep an eye on wat their children are getting upto because the parents that are oblivious to what they're children get upto everyday are likely to be the ones who have children who are upto all sorts.
Parents have to be on the ball with their children nowadays because the youth are getting more and more advanced in the evils they are committing.
Social networking sites like facebook,hi5,bebo and myspace are the places of satan on the web. They may look innocent but one is truly decieving oneself if one thinks that they are innocent and harmless.
That is EXACTLY what shaythan wants a person to think so that he lures a person onto joining sites like this and then once one joins you start getting connected to all kinds of people including the opposite sex. No matter what one says like "oh i only add friends and family", they are just decieving themselves because that may be the case for a while but shaythan works gradually and eventually one will add one after another and more and more people will have access to their profile and something will inevitably happen in the same way when one says oh im just friends with the opposite sex nothing will happen. These are typcal ways of shaythan decieving a person by making them think everything will be ok and that one will not fall for such evil.
Facebook is also VERY easy to break into and get peoples details and messages! Its happened to people i know and one person i know got their account hacked into by a 15 year old kid and the kid obtained the phone number and ALL the details of the person including address. If it is that easy for a kid to obtain all these details about a person then whos safe? YThere are countless more cases like this! Photos can easily be obtained by ANYONE!
Let us save ourselves from the evil and deception of these websites because they are the breeding ground for shaythan and SO many youth are going astray on their because if most parents knew what their children got upto on the internet they would be truly shocked and disgusted and would definatley ban their kids from EVER using the net! Not only that but they are the cause of a GREAT amount of time wasting when we have'nt got a second to waste because we know we can go ANY second!
So every parent has the right to see exactly what their kids are upto including searching pockets because SO many occassions parents have found drugs and all sorts of things that i don;t want to mention here in their childrens posession and if they never looked how would they have known? Is it not the right of any parent to know what their children are really getting upto so that if their children are getting upto evil then if the parents are oblivious then how will they put a stop to it? They're children would just carry on but if the evil is caught eary then there is more chance that something can be done to put a stop to it.
May Allah save our children from evil and make our children of the pious and righteous. Ameen

[pridefulmuslim]

ok im not gon listen to this crap about facebook being evil....u cant call a website evil lol, maybe the ppl that use it r evil but not the website lol....im sorry u guys sound like over paranoid, real dumb parents that need to chill out just a lil bit...

internet has good things and bad things just like the outside world, and no im not a stupid lil kid or nothin, i know what to put on my facebook and what not to put, i have nothin bad on it nor does my nephew....i use it to keep in contact wit ppl, its just like email but more advance....only idiots get caught what somethin bad on their facebooks.

[Hamza Asadullah]

ok im not gon listen to this crap about facebook being evil....u cant call a website evil lol, maybe the ppl that use it r evil but not the website lol....im sorry u guys sound like over paranoid, real dumb parents that need to chill out just a lil bit...

internet has good things and bad things just like the outside world, and no im not a stupid lil kid or nothin, i know what to put on my facebook and what not to put, i have nothin bad on it nor does my nephew....i use it to keep in contact wit ppl, its just like email but more advance....only idiots get caught what somethin bad on their facebooks.

Asalaamu Alaikum Wr Wr, you do not have to listen if you don't want to because the truth hurts. Only if your 15 year old daughter met a stranger off their and got raped or worst then would you realise about social networking websites because young girls getting groomed from predators on social netwroking sites are rapidly on the rise. Humans are humans and were made to be attracted to the opposite sex so don't decieve yourself by thinking that boys and girls are not meeting off these websites and talking on private mesaging because i can assure you they are and COUNTLESS meet off there and commit all sorts of haraam. Don't be ingnorant to whats going on.

When your a parent only then will you realise that if your kids are hiding all sorts from you including drugs paraphanalia, only then would you realise that sometimes you have to resort to checking yourself to see whats going on with your kids and what their really getting upto because will kids own upto exactly what they are getting upto most of the time?

Right know you do not realise what a parent has to go through but I hope inshallah your kids never turn out like that but if they do only then will you realise what some parents have to go through.
Its ok for you to call them dumb but if you were forced to do the same to your kids you would'nt say what your saying now. Its easy for us to say things to people but when were in their shoes only then would we realise that they had to do it.

[OurIslamic]

Well, you know that he's looking at your facebook, so it's not really spying, but more...monitoring.

[Sampharo]

^^lol thats impossible, but now i have another question..

is it haram that he is looking thru his sons privacy to know what his son is doing? even though his son does not like it?.....does it matter if he tells his son that he is looking thru it or not?

Oh no brother, that is completely different. Not only is he allowed, but he is obligated, to monitor and observe his son's behaviour. It is not haram for him to observe and monitor his son with or without the son's knowledge, it is not spying. The son is answerable to his parents and required to inform them of anything the parents want to know and to be obedient to them even if he reaches adulthood.

God knows best.

[Hamza Asadullah]

Even the non believers are calling for parents to spy on their children for their own safety so what does that say about what Muslims parents should do to protect their children?

Truly ignorant are those who think its wrong and when you parents you will then realise why it is essential in this day and age!

Parents 'should spy on kids online'

http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/feedarticle/8810382

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ukp...AB36bdSPFT_1LA

http://news.uk.msn.com/uk/articles.a...ntid=150893135