I'm scared to do it again..

[Salamander]

Salam alaykum

Few months ago i met a guy.. a non muslim guy.
He wanted to go out with and eventually marry me, but i didn't accept because he wasn't muslim.
Few months later he met one of his muslim friends who gave him the quran, took him to the masjed and convinced him that islam is the true religion of God. Meanwhile i was praying allah to guide him on the true path.
So he came back to me, telling me that he was going to convert to islam.
I was really happy, I couldn't stop crying.
Unfortunatelly the BIG mistake ( and sin ) i did was to start going out with him, thinking that it was "ok".. and thats when shaytan started his work..
Asstaghfirullah we commited forncation and other evil things.. I feel so bad now.. I always cry when i remeber what i did.. Hope Allah will forgive me.
The problem is that few months later he admitted that he wasn't really sure about converting, that he islam seemed to hard for him, and that his parents reacted very badely to that. They convinced him not to do it.. So he left islam. and I left him, i told him that i couldn't marry a non muslim guy.
I felt good in a way, because i knew i wasn't in sin anymore, but my heart is broken now, I am emotinally attached to this guy, even if he's not muslim he's really nice, kind, and doesn't stop telling me that he wants to marry me and make his life with me, and i wanted that too. But I'm scared to fall in to Zina (fornication) again, I know that i was strong enough to stop my relationship with him, but shaytan is too strong.. I really love this guy, even if i know that there's no future with him.. I know that it(s haram but i can't control my feelings.. and my desires.
I'm sad and scared not to find another nice guy like him, and temptation is too big, I can't take it anymore.. :cry: i'm upset , help imsad

sorry for the mistakes, english is not my native language..

[//-Asif-\\]

Every one of your concerns can be answered by watching this video. A sister sent in a letter to the host with concerns and issues that almost exactly match your problem. Very informative.

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[AnonymousPoster]

Please forgive me for asking this Q. But I always wonder how others can just fornicate with someone who isn't their spouse. Do you not find it difficult the guilt, the sneaking around, the running away behind everyone's back. As well the act itself for the first time rather traumatizing and leaving you with a piece of your heart torn and eaten every time thereafter? Shouldn't it be done under comfortable circumstance with someone who won't walk out so you can both be home before someone suspects where you have been all day? It is difficult for me to imagine someone going home after having fornicated, knowing they have to live two completely different life styles and then wash from the act to pray to Allah. It must be devastating. I thought I'd pose this here, as it is something to think about for those who think it is easy and pleasurable I think the weight of it would tear me down. :hmm:

:w:

[cat eyes]

Salam alaykum

Few months ago i met a guy.. a non muslim guy.
He wanted to go out with and eventually marry me, but i didn't accept because he wasn't muslim.
Few months later he met one of his muslim friends who gave him the quran, took him to the masjed and convinced him that islam is the true religion of God. Meanwhile i was praying allah to guide him on the true path.
So he came back to me, telling me that he was going to convert to islam.
I was really happy, I couldn't stop crying.
Unfortunatelly the BIG mistake ( and sin ) i did was to start going out with him, thinking that it was "ok".. and thats when shaytan started his work..
Asstaghfirullah we commited forncation and other evil things.. I feel so bad now.. I always cry when i remeber what i did.. Hope Allah will forgive me.
The problem is that few months later he admitted that he wasn't really sure about converting, that he islam seemed to hard for him, and that his parents reacted very badely to that. They convinced him not to do it.. So he left islam. and I left him, i told him that i couldn't marry a non muslim guy.
I felt good in a way, because i knew i wasn't in sin anymore, but my heart is broken now, I am emotinally attached to this guy, even if he's not muslim he's really nice, kind, and doesn't stop telling me that he wants to marry me and make his life with me, and i wanted that too. But I'm scared to fall in to Zina (fornication) again, I know that i was strong enough to stop my relationship with him, but shaytan is too strong.. I really love this guy, even if i know that there's no future with him.. I know that it(s haram but i can't control my feelings.. and my desires.
I'm sad and scared not to find another nice guy like him, and temptation is too big, I can't take it anymore.. :cry: i'm upset , help imsad

sorry for the mistakes, english is not my native language..

sister i think he might have told you a little lie to sleep with you.
i don't believe this guy was interested in islam in the first place and you know yourself you cannot marry non muslim. you would be living in sin! it would not be accepted from Allah swt. and knowing this non muslim, marriage will not mean anything to him at all. but marriage means alot to a muslim! look at the non muslims in the west they fornicate before and after marriage then a year later they move on thats just the way it is sister! marriage dont mean nothing to these non muslims.

i am a revert sister so i know a lot more then you what non muslims are like. i came to islam to get away from this crap also there idea of marriage is a joke sister! they have no morals or fear of the grave. they change so many partners. mabe if you got pregnant, he'd leave you like a shot. you just don't know what you are getting yourself into!

finish it with this guy forever! Allah knows best and you don't know anything.
you already did a sin and you should seek repentance. don't return to this dirty life again. he dose not care about you, he is not going to answer your questions in the grave!

Allah's mercy is vast but do not return to this sin of seeing this man again, asking forgiveness once then asking forgiveness a second time for the same sin then asking forgivness a third time, you are pushing it a bit to far if you continue to see him and you are playing with fire. dont even talk with this man again! find yourself a good muslim guy. their is plenty.

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[IbnAbdulHakim]

theres much better guys out there compared to him


so dont be scared and move on

Assalamu Alaikum

[Intisar]

Salam alaykum

Few months ago i met a guy.. a non muslim guy.
He wanted to go out with and eventually marry me, but i didn't accept because he wasn't muslim.
Few months later he met one of his muslim friends who gave him the quran, took him to the masjed and convinced him that islam is the true religion of God. Meanwhile i was praying allah to guide him on the true path.
So he came back to me, telling me that he was going to convert to islam.
I was really happy, I couldn't stop crying.
Unfortunatelly the BIG mistake ( and sin ) i did was to start going out with him, thinking that it was "ok".. and thats when shaytan started his work..
Asstaghfirullah we commited forncation and other evil things.. I feel so bad now.. I always cry when i remeber what i did.. Hope Allah will forgive me.
The problem is that few months later he admitted that he wasn't really sure about converting, that he islam seemed to hard for him, and that his parents reacted very badely to that. They convinced him not to do it.. So he left islam. and I left him, i told him that i couldn't marry a non muslim guy.
I felt good in a way, because i knew i wasn't in sin anymore, but my heart is broken now, I am emotinally attached to this guy, even if he's not muslim he's really nice, kind, and doesn't stop telling me that he wants to marry me and make his life with me, and i wanted that too. But I'm scared to fall in to Zina (fornication) again, I know that i was strong enough to stop my relationship with him, but shaytan is too strong.. I really love this guy, even if i know that there's no future with him.. I know that it(s haram but i can't control my feelings.. and my desires.
I'm sad and scared not to find another nice guy like him, and temptation is too big, I can't take it anymore.. :cry: i'm upset , help imsad

sorry for the mistakes, english is not my native language..

:sl: If there's no nikaah, then don't bother even being in the same vicinity as a non-mahram. Look at how he seriously fooled you (I'm sorry but I gotta be blunt about this), pretending as if he wanted to be ''Muslim'' since you said you couldn't marry him because he's a kufaar. Then he so-called ''converts'' and leaves Islam, Allaahu 'alam, sis the signs are clear.

The reasons for such a big commitment as a nikaah, is so that you are protected. He will be responsible for everything. He can't just up and leave. Set it and forget it. That's now how it works, and everything was put in place to protect us sisters from such vile people. But you made a mistake. It's time to repent to Allaah sincerely, keep on fasting, and move on inshaAllaah.

Plenty more fish in the sea, and plenty serious and willing brothers out there who are ready to commit. They ain't got time for none of this foolishness of going out with no means at the end of it all. SubhanAllaah.

I pray that Allaah swt grants you the patience to understand that holding your desires in is for your own benefit.

:wa:

[zakirs]

I agree with what above people said..

Just to add

but shaytan is too strong

Dont forget that Allah is the strongest and if your imaan is strong enough shaytan can do nothing.Pray to allah and stay away from this guy.

[revert2007]

do not rveal ur sins to others.
if u keep others sins secret,Allah will keep ur sins secret.
every human being commit sins each and every moment.
the best person is those hide the sin and do tauba nasuha to Allah.
stop telling the whole world about ur sins and start repenting to Allah.by telling others about this is not gonna solve ur problem at all.just repent and do tauba nasuha.insyaAllah u have learn from u lesson.
do not trust any man in today's world except ur husband

[Salahudeen]

:cry::cry: this is life shattering for you as you are a Muslim but for him, he just scored with another chick and probably telling all his mates how he pulled you and used you. and planning who the next girl is +o(

He's probably happy he committed fornication with you and wants to do it again because he doesn't believe in Islam. stories like this make me wanna :cry:

If only you knew the nature of men you'd never have slept with him he's probably showing off to his mates :cry:

Can I ask you something?? do you love your prophet (peace be upon him)? if you do how can you want to be with a man who calls him a liar and refuses to believe in him. Don't you find it sickening that this man rejects your prophet?

Anas radi Allahu anhu narrated that the Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam said, “None of you truly believes (has emaan) until I am more beloved to him than his father, his child and all of mankind.” (Bukhari and Muslim)

tell me with all due respect are you loving the prophet (peace be upon him) when you desire to be with a man who rejects him?? the idea of being with someone who rejects him and calls him a "false prophet" "liar" makes me want to puke my insides out, this is because he's more beloved to me than anything else so how can I wanna be with someone who rejects my beloved prophet? (peace be upon him)

my sister, every 1 falls into mistakes no body is an angel but this is a crucial point in your life, how you react in this situation is most likely going to determine the kind of person you are in life and where you'll end up when you die.

The way I see it is this, you got two options

Option A

you carry on your relationship with this man who rejects the messenger and your life goes down the toilet, he leads you into all kinds of sins and slowly bit by bit you lose your emaan completely and doing sins like fornication become no big deal for you, to the point where you don't even care it's like eating.

Then you leave Islam and don't abstain from any of the haraam and decide to enjoy life. 2 years down the line this guy decides he's bored with you and wants a new toy so he leaves you and then you come to the harsh realisation that you traded paradise for a 2 year fling,

that's if you even believe in paradise at that stage. Anyway you live your life going out with man, after man searching for "the one" and finding the right man becomes the centre of your life. To the extent you'd do anything to be with one, and stoop to new lows such as smoking or drinking alcohol and going clubbing.

You then realise that the majority of men are full of lies and tell you whatever you want to hear in order to get into your pants and then begin to hate yourself and life.

You can't believe that you were so foolish and stupid all them years ago in your youth to actually believe all the lies that men fed. You then live your life out somewhere by yourself and die slowly all alone because your family doesn't wanna know you because of what you did.

You die and enter the eternal life where everything is forever and you meet the angel of death from Hell. Who finds it pleasing to smite you and hit you, then it hits you "what the hell have I been doing"

"when the soul reaches the throat you will come to know"

you're then inflicted with the punishments of hell fire, specificly for those who fornicate and you look back at this crucial moment and think if only I stayed away from the evil man who led me astray from my lord, if only I could go back and change my decision. "Why did I choose this man instead of obeying Allah".

And realise when your with this man the angels are recording it in your book and it'll be read out on the day of judgement and every 1 will know what you did,

also realise when your with this man the one who gave you life is watching you disobey him, doesn't this make you feel shameful my sister how can you even glimpse at something haraam and derive pleasure from it when you know Al Malik is watching you.


Option B

You realise that you committed a crime that is punishable with lashes from a whip, and you spend the rest of your life making repentance, making a beautifull repentance crying to your lord at night to forgive you and hide this deed from your books so that no 1 discovers what you did on the day of reckoning. And inshallah this evil sin will be turned into a good deed, the best of sinners are those who make repentance.

You then go on with your life avoiding every man whom it's haraam for you to interact with and the very idea of what you did makes you feel disgusted inside.

Eventually you settle down and marry a good Muslim man who loves and respects you, and spend your life doing good deeds, obeying your creator and raising beautifull Muslim children that are a means for you to enter into paradise.

you have loads of joyful moments like your kids first day at school, seeing them get married, giving you grand children, you and your husband cry at night thanking your lord for everything that he's given you.

You die a nice death with your children and family around you and meet the angels of paradise :statisfie who are telling you not to fear anything and giving you glad tidings, telling you "don't be afraid you are of the people of paradise :cry:.

You look back at this moment in your life and think Subhanallah this was the moment I got my act together and changed myself into an obediant slave. This was the moment where I came to the realisation that this world is bricks and stones that are worthless.


I think this is a life defining moment for you and you should choose the path you decide to follow carefully. This is the break or make moment, how you react to this is going to decide alot of things,

do you react by crying at night asking for forgiveness?

or do you react by going out and doing it again and again to the point where it doesn't bother you, become second nature, you then lose yourself, become dead inside and are forever a slave to your desires.


And to think people ask the question

"why is Islam so strict with gender relations, there's nothing wrong with being friends?". :cry:

when the sins comitted and the soul reaches the throat they'll come to know why Islam is so strict on gender relations.

don't be foolish, your playing with a eternity in hell.

I don't know what makes me sad more, that fact you were tricked with lies into sleeping with him, or the fact that your first time was with a non Muslim outside of marriage.

This is the moment where you wanna learn that men will say anything to get into your pants.

[Danah]

I am sorry about saying this sis, but with all what he had done to you, you still want him?
he fooled you, you lost a very precious thing with him in a haram way, and you still want him?
he played with a very serious matter and came to Islam then leave it, Allah knows whether he did that just to fool you and get the chance to sleep with you, and you still want him?
you will tell me he is caring, kind, lovely and all those blah blah blah things, but I think after fooling you, you have just to ignore him and think about what is more important than him which is YOUR RELIGION!!

try to make your repentance sincere to Allah only, and Allah will place a better man on your way, Dont say that you will try with him again to come back to Islam, this man seems to be playing with you.
you justify going out with him just because he claim to be converted to Islam....was that enough for you to trust him and go with him? Dont full in the same trap if he told you that he is interesting in Islam again!!

May Allah protect you from felling in the sin again and help you to find a "real" man who really want to marry you out of love and according to the instructions of Allah and his messenger Mohammed peace and blessing be upon him

[AnonymousPoster]

I'm afraid to say that, you got played by a "player" :(

[aadil77]

do not rveal ur sins to others.
if u keep others sins secret,Allah will keep ur sins secret.
every human being commit sins each and every moment.
the best person is those hide the sin and do tauba nasuha to Allah.
stop telling the whole world about ur sins and start repenting to Allah.by telling others about this is not gonna solve ur problem at all.just repent and do tauba nasuha.insyaAllah u have learn from u lesson.
do not trust any man in today's world except ur husband

its anonymous so shes not revealing anything, knowone will know who it is


at 'Salamandar', sis you got used and abused, face it this is how it works in the REAL world, you have to wake up to the fact that he was a kuffar he didn't give a dam about being muslim and getting married he just wanted fulfill his needs. He got what he wanted, you lost your virginity and your respect. This is what happens with girls - they get all emotional, a few smiles and a few words are enough to get them in bed then they get tossed aside like crap afterwards.

This is why modesty and segregation is emphasized in islam, thats how these problems are stopped at the roots

Now you've got to repent and move on, forget the guy completely stay away from him, he can still spread stories of him and you in the community, so try and move out cover up more so he wont see you again

[Salahudeen]

^yeah, he probably found you really appealing cos you're a virgin and it's known that Muslim girls are virgins so kafar target them on purpose and go after them because they wanna be with a virgin. such a sad thing.

[$tranger]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OqmKZ7ezKMM

[Salahudeen]

^thanks, it didn't work in the other posts, watching that link made me :cry: make sure you watch it all thread op

[Humbler_359]

Salam alaykum

Few months ago i met a guy.. a non muslim guy.
He wanted to go out with and eventually marry me, but i didn't accept because he wasn't muslim.
Few months later he met one of his muslim friends who gave him the quran, took him to the masjed and convinced him that islam is the true religion of God. Meanwhile i was praying allah to guide him on the true path.
So he came back to me, telling me that he was going to convert to islam.
I was really happy, I couldn't stop crying.
Unfortunatelly the BIG mistake ( and sin ) i did was to start going out with him, thinking that it was "ok".. and thats when shaytan started his work..
Asstaghfirullah we commited forncation and other evil things.. I feel so bad now.. I always cry when i remeber what i did.. Hope Allah will forgive me.
The problem is that few months later he admitted that he wasn't really sure about converting, that he islam seemed to hard for him, and that his parents reacted very badely to that. They convinced him not to do it.. So he left islam. and I left him, i told him that i couldn't marry a non muslim guy.
I felt good in a way, because i knew i wasn't in sin anymore, but my heart is broken now, I am emotinally attached to this guy, even if he's not muslim he's really nice, kind, and doesn't stop telling me that he wants to marry me and make his life with me, and i wanted that too. But I'm scared to fall in to Zina (fornication) again, I know that i was strong enough to stop my relationship with him, but shaytan is too strong.. I really love this guy, even if i know that there's no future with him.. I know that it(s haram but i can't control my feelings.. and my desires.
I'm sad and scared not to find another nice guy like him, and temptation is too big, I can't take it anymore.. :cry: i'm upset , help imsad

sorry for the mistakes, english is not my native language..

:sl: sister,

Are you still with this guy? Don't move step forward, he is playing..... (all non-practicing guys seem so nice, kind, handsome/good looking, heart-sweet, and wanna marry for desires, it doesn't mean anything). In addition, taking advantage of girl's valuables during teenagers times, look at alot of single mothers, you want to be, no? you want to regret later, no? you want to be happy, yes?

It happened when a teen girl fell love easily with a first guy (with temptations, emotions and desires), it will create a huge messed up later. I have seen enough in old school, alot of girls felt disappointed, shame and hurt in the end. No question you asked again.

Please don't destroy your life and again in repeat don't destroy your valuable life....... avoid it, forget him!



Hope you will reply soon.

[anonymous]

^yeah, he probably found you really appealing cos you're a virgin and it's known that Muslim girls are virgins so kafar target them on purpose and go after them because they wanna be with a virgin. such a sad thing.

sister i think he might have told you a little lie to sleep with you.

i wholeheartedly agree with that :)

repent, be strong. he doesn't care about you, he only cares about himself. these kafirs aren't real about relationships until they get married. until then, it's all play. you just ahve to look around you to know what i mean. its disgusting.
every time you think of sinning again, just replace the thoughts with death and the punishment of the hadd, as to deter your mind away and make you loathe the sin.

[Danah]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OqmKZ7ezKMM

sis Salamander, I strongly recommend you to watch this episode, Jazak Allah Khair brother Ahm@d for posting the link, I just watched it and it was very beneficial reminder for all of us, I think everybody should watch it not only sis Salamander

May Allah save us all

[Salamander]

:sl:

Thank you so much for your answers.. it really helped me.
And i just wanted to say.. no it didnt become "natural" for me to fornicate.. i felt really bad, i didn"t stop crying each time i did it. I knew Allah was watching me doing such evil things.. but i think its because of my low iman that i did that.. :cry:
And ffor those who think he "used" me.. well he even told his parents about me, and he told his family about converting, and i know the friend who talked about him about islam and converting.. that's what made me think he wasn't liying.
BUT I don't want to be from those who disobey Allah.. u guys are right allah knows better than i do. The idea of marying a person who does'nt believe in the prophet, the quran and its message really scared me , that's what scared me and made me stop this haram realationship.
And for those who tell me not to see him again.. its going to ba hard. He's in the same class as me, he sometimes sits next to me. I Hope allah will help me.
I'll do everything to stay away from haram.
Thank u again brothers and sister... may allah reward you and protect you.

salam alaykum

[Salamander]

and i did watch the video.. thank u again.

[Muslim Woman]

:wa:

Salam alaykum

.. he came back to me, telling me that he was going to convert to islam.

as you are repented , InshaAllah u are forgiven already ; but don't trust this man again .

Firstly reverting to Islam must not take place just for the sake of marriage. If he wants to accept Islam , he will do it because Islam is the truth . If he reverts just to marry u , it means in his heart he is not a Muslim and u are not allowed to marry him .

Use this holy month to offer your repentance ; InshaAllah u will be blessed in this life and hereafter .

[Muslim Woman]

:wa:

:sl:

...He's in the same class as me, he sometimes sits next to me.

Is it possible to change your college / Varsity ? Try not to meet him . Satan will try his best to provoke u to repeat the sin ...may Allah forbid but don't give Satan any chance .

Try your best to change your subject / college / location / phone no etc etc.

[aadil77]

:sl:

Thank you so much for your answers.. it really helped me.
And i just wanted to say.. no it didnt become "natural" for me to fornicate.. i felt really bad, i didn"t stop crying each time i did it. I knew Allah was watching me doing such evil things.. but i think its because of my low iman that i did that.. :cry:
And ffor those who think he "used" me.. well he even told his parents about me, and he told his family about converting, and i know the friend who talked about him about islam and converting.. that's what made me think he wasn't liying.
BUT I don't want to be from those who disobey Allah.. u guys are right allah knows better than i do. The idea of marying a person who does'nt believe in the prophet, the quran and its message really scared me , that's what scared me and made me stop this haram realationship.
And for those who tell me not to see him again.. its going to ba hard. He's in the same class as me, he sometimes sits next to me. I Hope allah will help me.
I'll do everything to stay away from haram.
Thank u again brothers and sister... may allah reward you and protect you.

salam alaykum

Him becoming temporarly muslim didn't make it acceptable for what you did, you weren't married so it was haraam. You will have to forget him completely unless you want to screw up again. If he's in your classes, you're gonna have to change college or uni or your course or whatever, how are you gonna feel sitting next to the guy who you've commited zina with, who's seen you all bare and knows yours secrets. You're gonna have to move on sis or its gonna haunt you for however many years you're in his classes

[Humbler_359]

:sl:

And for those who tell me not to see him again.. its going to ba hard. He's in the same class as me, he sometimes sits next to me. I Hope allah will help me.
I'll do everything to stay away from haram.
Thank u again brothers and sister... may allah reward you and protect you.

salam alaykum

Madam Salamander,

Are you making excuses yourself "it is going to be hard"? This guy wouldn't leave you. Will you kindly talk with your parent? Are you wearing hijab? Are you young? Are you letting him to touch you or kiss you or sins in your soft heart? Will your Imaan going down deeply or astray? Shyatan is much stronger you let happen.

You have smart enough to know how to change class or university, avoid him, blunt him, find Muslimah friends, and should focus your future.

First zina committed you done. What's next? Your parents will find out some day.....Allah (SWT) is always watching everyone and you. :omg:

Increase your knowledges on Islam and improve your Imaan/read Qur'an everyday please in order to protect yourself from invisible Shyatan. Knowledges is best weapons and secret tools in your heart and soul against Shyatan.

[Salamander]

Salam alaykum

I can't change uni.. its not easy i already changed uni and if i want to study what i want i can't change anymore.. :(
and for Humbler_359.. i can't tell my parents.. impossible. they won't understand.
and I don't have any muslim friends.. the few muslim i know are not practicing muslims.. even worst than the non muslims..
But i have to be strong.. hope shaytan won't be stonger than me.. Wallah i want to be a good muslima, and I WILL become a good one.

thank u for the advice brothers and sisters. and ramadhan mubarak.

[Salahudeen]

If you cry after every time you do it, then why keep doing it :S

you must know by now that it reduces you to tears after you do it, so doesn't this put a film resolve in you to stop doing it, because it makes you feel like crap afterwards.

I actually find it amazing that you don't hate this man for what he's taken from you, if I was in your shoes I'd hate the person who seduced me into doing the sin with such great passion that if he came near me I'd get soooo mad. I'd make it known to him/her that I dislike them to a huge degree.

How can you not hate him, doesn't he remind you of your evil actions every time you look at him, this should make you feel sick to the point where you can't even look at him. that's how I'd feel.

it's good that you still feel bad about it and it hasn't become natural, but if you keep doing it sister soon you won't feel bad, you'll just accept it won't be a big deal for you. This is how shaytaan works, you keep falling into it then sooner or later you just give up and accept the sin as a part of who you are and convince yourself that there's nothing wrong with it.

Also you mentioned you talked to his friend and his friend told you everything about him accepting Islam and telling his parents about you,

can I just ask is this friend a guy?? and how do you know he actually did tell his parents were you there in the house when the conversations took place? or is it all rumours and you never really witnessed any of it yourself??

you see I know a lot of guys who tell girls that they've told their parents about them when in actual fact they've told their parents jack all. don't be so gullable, if he tells you he's told his parents about you don't believe it till his parents are infront of you, if he tells you he's told his parents about Islam don't believe it because you don't actually know if he did or didn't.

and if the friend who told you all this is a guy, then you should know that guys have common goals and help each other in evil, they play games like this,

haven't you ever heard of the scenario where to friends plan to get a girl by 1 of them going up to the girl and being abusive then the other 1 swoops in and tells the guy off who is actually his friend. Then you go away thinking the guy is really nice and sweet for protecting you against the abusive guy, but really it was all a plan to get you. and they were both friends.

sadly that's how alot of guys work they call it "playing the game" so maybe his friend and him were both playing you and tricked you into believing what they wanted you to believe.


if the friend who told you was your friend, then it's likely he knew that whatever he told your friend would get back to you, so he just fed your friend with all the information he knew would soften your heart towards him.

you have to understand just because your friend or his friend tells you something doesn't mean it's true. Unless you witnessed it yourself it could be a lie started by him.

and what you mentioned is sad about you not having any praticing friends, it is true they are hard to find but I'll give you tips on how to find them,

start attending the masjid and getting involved in Islamic activities, look for study circles your local masjid must have study circles for women,

another tip is to hang out in the prayer room of your University cos it's likely that alot of the praticing people in your uni just hibernate in the prayer room lol that's what we did in college.

[Ansariyah]

I don't get this! *sigh*

u are a grown up person wit brains, u know right from wrong. Allah showed u the right path, n the corrupted path. Wats done is done. Theres no more time for excuses, take responsibility for ur own actions. Why shud u be scared to do it again? thats like ur telling urself ur not in control, u are!! Theres nothing to be scared of u make the decision n u tell him to go to hell. He cannot touch u again unless u let him.

I will tell u one thing that shud put u off that guy forever...He probably doesnt even do istinja!..probably has never done it in his entire life. Consider being 10 feet away still too close.

[cat eyes]

Salam alaykum

I can't change uni.. its not easy i already changed uni and if i want to study what i want i can't change anymore.. :(
and for Humbler_359.. i can't tell my parents.. impossible. they won't understand.
and I don't have any muslim friends.. the few muslim i know are not practicing muslims.. even worst than the non muslims..
But i have to be strong.. hope shaytan won't be stonger than me.. Wallah i want to be a good muslima, and I WILL become a good one.

thank u for the advice brothers and sisters. and ramadhan mubarak.

my friend use to sing that same song to me all the time that most of uni girls are hell stupid and far from intelligence and they are easy. she would tell me so many stories from uni like this and the guy always went and spread all sorts of rumours about the girl in the end after he got what he wanted and found someone else please sister don't mind me saying this was especially the most stupid thing a muslim girl could ever do to sleep with a non muslim! he probably had so many other partners before also. i would also advise you to take a trip to the doctor to get you checked for sexually transmitted diseases. are you aware of this??

[Salahudeen]

^ defo good move, go get yourself checked at the doctors you might have something unpleasant.

[Danah]

^ OMG Not only for diseases, but maybe u r pregnant without u knowing :ooh:

And sis, u don't want to tell ur parent? Yes, they won't understand because they will say that there is nothing justify your act with him from the early beginning!!
I think involving your parent now is better than do it later when it will very late for u to explain everything to them

As the scholar in the video said, if u wanna make a real toba (repentant) u gotta change ur surrounding, friends, place or even anything that can remind you of that man in ur free time. Sis, keep yourself busy, don't give shaytan any chance to find you alone doing nothing because he will start whispering in ur ear and begin to beautify sins for you again.

[anonymous]

wa alaykum us-Salaam

you know i've heard stories like yours where the girl loves this dude u know a prohibited love, and her family don't know and the guy totally uses it against her by threatening her to tell all, just so that she can stay with him. so thats something else to consider.

:sl:
And for those who think he "used" me.. well he even told his parents about me, and he told his family about converting, and i know the friend who talked about him about islam and converting.. that's what made me think he wasn't liying.

well yes, that's because when he saw that you were fearing Allah in regarding to staying away from him, he made the effort. but when he saw that you didn't care about staying away from sin and hence letting ur guard down, then he figured that he shouldn't either

that we all know how far a guy will go to get his way with a girl :exhausted :hmm:

And for those who tell me not to see him again.. its going to ba hard. He's in the same class as me, he sometimes sits next to me. I Hope allah will help me.

thats cos he knows you're weak so he tries to use your emotions against you. men can be veeeery cunning in order to get their own way...
why does he sit next to you? would he sit next to you if your dad was there? no! would he dare mess with you if he see's you with your family? no! so you see how ill in character and wimps these people are? a true man with true honor approaches a girl through her fortress> her family. till then, it's all games.

i know you said that you cant change classes, but i advice you to seriously consider dropping uni or transferring to your course by correspondence. you just gotta do what ya gotta do.

[Salahudeen]

We believe it to be a sin because our creator tells us it's a sin. We don't make it up ourselves we believe it's a divinely revealed command from God.

Human feelins and emotions may come first for you, but for us what our master tells us comes first.

and the fact that she loves him doesn't mean anything, how many people love things that are bad for them?? does that mean they should indulge in them regardlgess?

Your emotions aren't always correct, emotions can be a form of desire, just because you desire something doesn't mean it's the correct option, if anything at the time your following your emotions you make the worst choice because your not thinking logically with your head. Your being led by your emotions, just like the person who takes drugs or indulges in any other sin, they're following their emotions and desires not thinking with their head. Just like the person who takes drugs, he knows logically when he thinks about it with his head that drugs are bad for him however his emotions and desires lead him to take the drug.

Does this mean that this is the correct thing to do because his human feelings and emotions lead him to it.

Similarly when a person is in love, they may be in love with some 1 that isn't good for them but their emotions and human feelings tell them the opposite so they carry on but this isn't always the best option. It's common you see women stay with abusive guys or they leave the guy and always end up going back to him because they follow their emotions and feelings.

I know of so many stories where a women has gotten back together with a guy who abused her and when asked why the answer was " I love him" she's ovbiously following her emotions and feelings which are leading her into the wrong thing which is getting back together with a guy who's abusing her. If she were to use her head she'd logically come to the conclusion that getting back together with the guy isn't correct because he abuses her.

So just like the above example shows your emotions and feelings don't always lead you towards the correct option.

[talipot]

If you think you are better thinker than Muhamed pbuh , he did not write the Qur'an it was revealed to him, so you brother try to think of a passage that would match the Qur'an. May Allah show you the right way .

[جوري]

luving a human being is not bad, sir. what are you saying? you wud condone a man killing innocent ppl in name of allah but term it a sin to luv human being. ridiculous logic??

Emotions by themselves have no connotation until one acts on them, and indeed acting on them by unlawful means can be bad. Now, I have no idea which man killing in the name of Allah you are talking about, or what this has to do with a thread about fornication, flawed logic and conclusion that does not follow from the premise of the thread as usual!

The brain is there to think my fren. If you can't think of your own brain god may have given only muhammed the brain to think wats good for human being. rest of us wud have been without it. But its not the case. That shows allah want u also to think and not blindly follow wat was said thousand years ago.

I think indeed you may have been blue-pencilled some gray matter.. if the OP was looking for the ragtag and bobtail response, I am sure she would have subscribed to your forum. Now, given that this is an Islamic board, catering to Muslims, I reckon which is looking for is the Muslim advise.. so take a hike and all the best of course!

[cat eyes]

The brain is there to think my fren. If you can't think of your own brain god may have given only muhammed the brain to think wats good for human being. rest of us wud have been without it.

true. none of us have brain like the prophet mohammad pbuh we can't even come close so Allah dose not have these high expectations of humans that we should totally follow everything according to our prophet mohammad pbuh we can try but Allah knows we surely can't achieve it.. we will make mistakes along the way so we are told to repent because if we did not know right from wrong we would surely be retarded.