Four wives

[AnonymousPoster]

why is a man allowed four wives|

my manager asked me today - like an idiot i couldnt answer him - then again i dont think it should be right a man sleepin with four women.

[cat eyes]

you should have told him so the western culture is right ha changing so many partners outside of marriage as if thats any less disgusting further more you should have told him for a man to have four wives he'd have to be pretty wealthy and its very rare now for a man to take four wives when holy Qur'an says marry only one.

[AnonymousPoster]

the Quran says to marry one women...then why do people marry up to 4? why did our beloved prophet pbuh marry 13?

[S_87]

the Quran says to marry one women...then why do people marry up to 4? why did our beloved prophet pbuh marry 13?

actually if you look at the ayah it says marry two three or four and if you fail injustice then just one...

There are many reasons why more than one wife is allowed in islam, sometimes we may look for reasons and not understnad but as believers we say we hear and obey.

have a look at this:
http://islamqa.com/en/ref/14022/polygyny

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[Ummu Sufyaan]

:sl:
are these serious qn's, or are you having a go? ^o)

[AnonymousPoster]

Well everything is Islam can be justified so can having four wives can be justified and i want to know the reson behind it.

[Sampharo]

The origin was that men used to have as many wives as they want. In general populations always at any point of time have more women than men. They biologically live longer, and men are facing work accidents and wars and stress that keep the numbers constantly less than women. In the days of Jahiliya it used to be possible for a man to have 20 wives or more. Islam came and God ordained organized matters for men and women and placed a limit of four wives to each man, and placed conditions of applying justice to them all and being able to provide comfortably for all four equally, otherwise a man should take only one.

Strict monogamy as a concept fails to address the different balance in the numbers of men and women, and also dooms to failure or undue pressures any households where a wife is incapacitated by disease or accident, unable to have children, or in a certain capacity can be regarded by herself or others as "lesser" than other women. Most men would flatly refuse to associate solely with a single female if she will not be a complete match as in any of the cases just mentioned and if they can only be with one wife, and many women will still be left alone due to the higher number of females in existence. Therefore society will break down into illicit hidden behind the scenes relationships or broken homes with high divorce rates over frivolous or superficial reasons. Having the permission (not requirement) to have more than one wife will allow a family to exist and sustain itself when women are more than men, because women will still have options to be married and have a caring husband.

And God knows best

[MSalman]

:sl:

Well everything is Islam can be justified so can having four wives can be justified and i want to know the reson behind it.

I hate how the word justification is being associated with Islam now days as it has a negative connotation. Define justification for us please? If you mean some 'logical reasoning', which you seem to be referring to, then you are wrong; not everything in Islam can be explained using some 'logical reasoning', neither the Shari'ah provides wisdom and reasoning behind every ruling, nor every reasoning can satisfy everyone.

This is line of argument we use when answering the questions of these non-Muslims:

1 - It is the hukm of Allah, the Creator.
2 - If the Shari'ah mentions the wisdom then we say "Allah has told us that it has fullan fullan benefit or fullan wisdom/reasoning has been given to us by Allah"
3 - If the Shari'ah is silent on reasoning/wisdom behind the ruling then we say "there is no text in Islam which gives us the reasons for such ruling; however, it would have fullan fullan benefits, or it could be due to fullan fullan reasoning etc."

If they are satisfied good for them but otherwise there is no need to sugar coat anything or try to explain it in such a way so that it looks good them or answer their questions or clear their doubts while your attempt could be un-Islamic. This is a wrong methdology of da'wah which many of people in our time has adopted. Also, try to discus issues pertaining to tawheed - existence of Allah, following His Commands, submitting to His Will and worshiping Him - and not fiqhi issues. The success in da'wah does not come through winning arguments or answering their questions in issues related to fiqh.

and Allah knows best

[GreyKode]

why is a man allowed four wives|

my manager asked me today - like an idiot i couldnt answer him - then again i dont think it should be right a man sleepin with four women.

Tell your hypocrite boss what does he think of gay or lesbian marriage.
Those b-a-s-t-a-r-d-s have no problem with same sex marriage and when it comes to polygamy they start.

"Sleeping with four wives", ask him how many women did he sleep with?

[GreyKode]

neither the Shari'ah provides wisdom and reasoning behind every ruling, nor every reasoning can satisfy everyone.

I agree 100%, but this boss of his probably wanted to take a cheap shot at Islam and this poor brother. Typical of Kuffar.

[GreyKode]

:sl:
are these serious qn's, or are you having a go? ^o)

Well we can't judge hearts, but let's give him the benefit of doubt.:raging:

[Muslim Woman]

:sl:

...i dont think it should be right a man sleepin with four women.

Actually there are three kinds of polygamy practiced in Western societies:

serial polygamy, that is, marriage, divorce, marriage, divorce, and so on any number of times;

a man married to one woman but having and supporting one or more mistresses;

an unmarried man having a number of mistresses.


Islam condones but discourages the first and forbids the other two


http://www.islam101.com/women/polygamy.html

[YusufNoor]

why is a man allowed four wives|

my manager asked me today - like an idiot i couldnt answer him - then again i dont think it should be right a man sleepin with four women.

:sl:

why does a man have to marry a single woman, but if a woman so chooses she can marry a married man? eh?

watch this video by Yusuf Estes on the subject:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hIoVW...0B7A77&index=0

:wa:

[cat eyes]

seriously do you think any man is mad enough to take even more then one wife. one hormonal woman is enough and to satisfy his all desires for the majority of men but for some men they need more then one but it would be impossible for one man to make every woman happy so now these days woman will not enter into polygamy so easily also to mention the laws in the country changes through time also and economy especially in european countries the goverment will not give child welfare so easily to the huge amount of kids either, they will think something fishy is going on and they could make problems for you and ban it altogether.

the rich are getting rich and the poor and getting more poor so if you were gona marry more then one you would have a life of hardship and tension but thats what you get for making this choice and you have to deal fairly so there would be a very small majority who would agree to it. some women are actually very happy to live alone, there is other means of getting kids. this was a very common practice in the times of the prophets. the prophets could handle any trial from Allah

[Proud of Islam]

:sl:

Let me quote some posts which were written here in our IB forum by an American atheist lady (& I really hope for her to be guided to the light of Islam insha'Allah) :

It creates a society of men and women having numerous relationships, many stds resulting from the momentary couplings and worse: very few have the skills to maintain a life long relationship. So you see a huge divorce rate here as well.

Both men and women are screwed up in the western world. And though they don't like to admitt it, you will be hard pressed to find either a man or woman in the USA who don't talk bad about the opposite sex and have a string of failed relationships.

Whats digusting is 1 in 25 UK men (that's 4%) are raising someone else's child (7% in the USA) and they don't even know it! That's what we can gather from elective genetic testing. Can you imagine the numbers if we made it mandatory and included the people who didn't have a doubt??!?!?!?!?

Goes to show just how nasty the women in the west are getting.

Its getting on television because it IS becoming normal! We already see more than half of children with broken families, give it a few more generations and soon the concept of father will be reduced to a sperm donor in the west... I hate living here more and more each day :(

Its amazing how few western women even understand this, the culture of random sex has been so engrained into them that they can't even understand basic precepts of human behavior anymore. And when you tell them this they brush you off as some old fashioned nut case.

But it is really simple: women need to STOP enabling men to treat them so flippantly by acting appropriately. When women do this they can then STOP feeling ashamed for demanding the man in their relationships be protectors and providers instead of sex obsessed boys.

I am a western women and men don't treat me as a sex object because I don't let them. Yes, they still try. I will have random men walk up to me and ask if they can date me or worse: ask to see my body without ANY prompt on my behalf. That's when I tell him he's a pig and to go ask a woman without morality or a brain, because he picked the wrong one to say such filth too. Most women are complimented by the attention and just do it, which is what allows them to be treated so poorly.

People, the vast majority of the time, will treat you how you demand to be treated.

We have gaggles of women in the west who solely date married men because they find it amusing to break up homes. Many women chose to stick their kids in day cares to be raised by a stranger just so they can afford a fancier car.

Growing up in America was a nightmare for me. I tried to assimilate because every girl wants to feel a part of peer group, and it caused me alot of pain. America, since the sexual and feminist revolutions, has lost its sense of family. Sex is extremely common, most of my peers were doing it before reaching high school, many became pregnant or got diseases. None of them cared much for education, they ridiculed the intellectuals among them. Materialism and superficiality was the pinnacle of their thoughts, emulating the non stop stream of hollywood stars anyone who didn't engage in it was a social outcaste.

In adulthood this thought process really became terrible. Men didn't have any protective or providership instincts for women. They see us as sexual objects who they can conquer and then move on to the next. Women are reared believing their sexual attraction verifies their values and so they give themselves repeatedly and are left broken hearted. If you are lucky enough to marry there is a 52% chance it will end in a divorce. We have an 80% infidelity rate. Most women in America have 8-12 sexual partners in their lifetime, most men 12-20. Sexually transmitted diseases effect nearly 40% of the population. One of our four people here have herpes, one out of 250 have aids.

...........

These women who are longing to return to what their heart and biology screams for, these women who are yearning to be mothers and housewives without shame, are looking at Islam and feeling excitement that a vestige of these old ideals still exist.

That's my take on it, as an American woman. And not just any woman, but one who teaches comparative religions and so engages daily in conversations with women who voice these very thoughts. Islam has become a band-aid in healing the pain of the fractured family for many tired females.

Is that cases better or a Muslim man who has either one wife, or up to four wives who all are officially known, honored, have outlay, respected and their children have a known father?

The answer is as clear as sunlight..!


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Longing for the Paradise (Al-Jannah) where the endless happiness…

[Proud of Islam]

seriously do you think any man is mad enough to take even more then one wife. one hormonal woman is enough and to satisfy his all desires for the majority of men but for some men they need more then one but it would be impossible for one man to make every woman happy so now these days woman will not enter into polygamy so easily also to mention the laws in the country changes through time also and economy especially in european countries the goverment will not give child welfare so easily to the huge amount of kids either, they will think something fishy is going on and they could make problems for you and ban it altogether.

Dear sister you are talking from a “clean” view since you are Muslim alhamdolellah.. But a woman who suffers from a cheating husband who have unlimited number of mistresses & relationships, sure would prefer the clean polygamy of Islam instead of their covering trespasses which lead to diseases, abject society, and children with unknown fathers..

If you reject the legit polygamy, it is your personal opinion and you have the right to have your opinions, but we can’t apply it to the all.. What if a woman can’t have children, and her husband loves her & don’t want to divorce her, but at the same time he loves having children! Most Muslim women in this case welcome having another wife..

one hormonal woman is enough and to satisfy his all desires for the majority of men but for some men they need more then one

Not all men are ideal, and this is VERY clear nowadays!!
OK the ones who need as you said, what should they do? In non Muslim families, the way is very easy, but VERY nasty!

but it would be impossible for one man to make every woman happy

Sis.. a woman whose husband is cheater will not be happy at all, right??

so now these days woman will not enter into polygamy so easily

No.. still there are many women nowadays agree in polygamy & enter into it.. It depends in the culture & the circumstances of each one..
I may reject polygamy as you, but as I said it’s still just a personal opinion.. We, as Muslims alhamdolellah, can think about small issues like jealousy.. But there are people living in a society with very nasty relationships (as what I quoted in my previous post here).. So when talking with people living there, we have to think before mentioning our personal opinions..

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Longing for the Paradise (Al-Jannah) where the endless happiness…

[Ummu Sufyaan]

:sl:

Well we can't judge hearts, but let's give him the benefit of doubt.:raging:

i wasn't judging, which is why i asked "are these serious qn's"....he seriously sounded (to me) like he was having a go...so i had a go back at him.

[Caller الداعي]

these concepts of islam cant be understood easily in a western society.... and the western society isnt the most ideal society of the world. concepts in islam can only be fully comprehended when the history of islam and the world at the time of the appearance of islam is studied!

[YusufNoor]

:sl:

why does a man have to marry a single woman, but if a woman so chooses she can marry a married man? eh?

watch this video by Yusuf Estes on the subject:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hIoVW...0B7A77&index=0

:wa:

:sl:


did ANYONE watch the video?

while a man MAY have 4 wives, NO ONE HAS to marry a married man! if he is an oaf, why would the 2nd woman marry him????

here's a quick recap of the vid:

1) sex outside of marriage is punishable by death. babies should thus be born to married parents who will take care of them and give them legal rights of inheritance.

2) a married man MUST support his wife 100%. if the man is a janitor and his wife is a millionaire, her money is still HER money. what is his is theirs and what is hers is hers!

3) IF a man is to have multiple wives, he MUST treat them all fairly and divide his time evenly between them.

4) let's say you had 99 men and 99 women. you marry them off one by one until 5 of each remain single. the 5 single men MUST choose between the remaining 5 women. HOWEVER, the 5 remaining women have their choice of ALL 99 men!

now, Shaykh Estes says this all better than i have, but the point is that on the surface it appears that men have the upper hand here, but the reality is that women have the advantage! don't forget, if a man is married, his wife would be a good indicator if he is a good husband or not. the sisters can ask her! a man choosing a woman can only hope...

:wa:

[Proud of Islam]

4) let's say you had 99 men and 99 women. you marry them off one by one until 5 of each remain single. the 5 single men MUST choose between the remaining 5 women. HOWEVER, the 5 remaining women have their choice of ALL 99 men!

Indeed..! I haven't ever think about this point!


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Longing for the Paradise (Al-Jannah) where the endless happiness…

[happy]

Excuse me these western people need to face the fact. cus majorite of thme cheate outside or or inside marriage and then ask us why is it allow for a man to marry 4 wifes.They should know there is reason and wisdom behind it and everthing Allah decree is happen for reason. The other day i was watching this prog where this man had 7 wifes and he was non-muslim.