What to tell someone whose emotionally dead

[Beardo]

What do you tell someone who is going through some difficult situations etc and is on the verge of "depression"?

['Abdul Rahmaan]

Recite on him/her "laa taqnatu mirrahmatillah".

[Beardo]

Any Hadith/Ayaat please?

[BlissfullyJaded]

:sl:

It depends on what's causing it. Push him talk it out to somebody who's understanding enough to guide him and help him through it. If he's emotionally dead already, then it doesn't sound like he's not really on the verge of depression, but already in it.

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[جوري]

:sl:

It depends on what's causing it. Push him talk it out to somebody who's understanding enough to guide him and help him through it. If he's emotionally dead already, then it doesn't sound like he's not really on the verge of depression, but already in it.

agree with that.. treat the underlying cause before you adorn with graceful words ......

:w:

[Rasema]

:sl:

To stop acting like a chicken. You should be grateful that Allah is testing you. Let me paste something.

Got it from gawaher

Has anyone thrown stone at your face or head yet?. Well what you think about this trial? Has anyone tried to piss on your head yet?. Well you better remember one of the name of Allah, The Humiliator.
Sometime Allah bring His best servent to the lowest point and then raise them up to high station and give them honor. So you be ready for such trials and don't be chicken.

We don't have to be alert just against satan, but also against our family members, who could possibly turn out to be our enemy.

Anyway I struggle aswell and stupid questions comes in mind and then after a while i feel ease. It's just the nafs amara, who is the root of the corruption.
When you try to control your nafs amara, it will rebel against you, such as for example controlling sexual desire, well you can control it for a while, but when your nafs amara cannot tolerate it anymore. It will fight and make you commit sins so it can satisfy it self, same with food, anger, greed etc..
And if human control that nafs amara when it rebels, it will eventually die if Allah wills and then human will be gifted with another nafs called muatmaina (nafs at peace) and many more..

Reaching Allah is not easy, why because Allah swt is Pure, and we have to purify ourself to get close to Him.

Quran 33:33 ".....O family of the House, Allah only wishes to distance fault from you, and to cleanse you, and to purify you abundantly. "

To go from one nafs to another, human must pass all tests for each stage. Then the final Nafs-i-safiyya (The Pure Self), a true muslims with total submission to the Wills of Allah and under full protection and secure stage.

When i look at the trials of propehts, shaikhs etc, I think the trial i am facing is nothing... So i hope you read some books and get an idea what these trials are about and what's the purpose of it.

May Allah swt guide and purify you and me aswell and all the muslims and non muslims aswell, ameen.

[Muhaba]

Agree with the others. Try to treat the problem or help him treat it.

I think one thing you can do is encourage him that he can fix his problems, dont let him feel that his problems will never be fixed. Always have hope in Allah, that Allah can do everything and will help us. If the person ever starts to feel hopeless, it means that he has forgotten that Allah can & will help him or feels that Allah will not help him. Get him out of this and start making plans on how to tackle the problems. For example, if it's loss of job, he can start planning how to get new job, how to support himself/family while jobless, etc. If it's debt, he can plan how to pay off the debt, whether to get second job/freelance work, how much to pay monthly/yearly, how to decrease expenses, etc.

If it's a problem that can't be fixed, for example divorce, then it's best to let go and move on. he may feel down for a while, but eventually get better and move on, but at the same time find out what the cause of the problem was and fix it before remarrying in order to avoid future problems, for example fixing one's temper, choosing righteous spouse.

[Tony]

The last thing someone with depression needs to hear is "pull yourself together", or "stop being chicken". The problems leading them into depression are causing them to become unable to function properley and need to be addressed at the root. Ask them if they would like to be accompanied by you to a counsellor or Dr, Rashad. Ultimately you need to be steadfast in supporting them and dont say anything that could be taken as advisory, be an ear not a tongue and let them work things out by speaking to you as a confident. May Allah guide you brother

[S_87]

:sl:

It depends on what's causing it. Push him talk it out to somebody who's understanding enough to guide him and help him through it. If he's emotionally dead already, then it doesn't sound like he's not really on the verge of depression, but already in it.

exactly


and dont lose patience with the person by telling them to move on and get over it. remember, they dont want to be unhappy and if they had a choice they wouldnt be purposely like that.

[GuestFellow]

What do you tell someone who is going through some difficult situations etc and is on the verge of "depression"?

Salaam.

Well do you know why they are depressed? Sometimes I think it is best to leave people alone. Try talking to them when they feel comfortable doing so. Depression is an illness and you need to be patient as well.

I would pray for them.

[Rasema]

The last thing someone with depression needs to hear is "pull yourself together", or "stop being chicken". The problems leading them into depression are causing them to become unable to function properley and need to be addressed at the root. Ask them if they would like to be accompanied by you to a counsellor or Dr, Rashad. Ultimately you need to be steadfast in supporting them and dont say anything that could be taken as advisory, be an ear not a tongue and let them work things out by speaking to you as a confident. May Allah guide you brother

When my mother's psychologist talks to me like that. When she reminds me on how terrible my life is and how taugh I am it just makes me more depressed and I want more and I turn spoiled. So I will never see that lady again. Humans can go through anything. How did they survive in the past?

Brother Rashad, I'm sure that once you go through this trile and attain the firmaness in faith you'll overcome this depression. Though give us some info.

[Snowflake]

:sl: I agree with Br. Tony.

We go through several stages in 'life's oven' before we are cured and able to take knocks and bumps. Handling clay roughly before it is baked with only cause it to become misshapen and fall apart. Gentleness inshaAllah.

What do you tell someone who is going through some difficult situations etc and is on the verge of "depression"?

Dhikr. Plenty and plenty of it. Initially, you will find tiredness/laziness creating barriers, but don't stop. There is a 'wall' which you have to break through. You will feel it when you do as your tiredness will be replaced with energy and an extreme sense of peace and tranquility. Then you may stop and make dua until the next time. Increase tasbeehat after each salah. Add La Ilaha illAllah 101x, astaghfirullah 101x and SubhanAllahi wa bihamdihi subhanAllahil 'adheem 101x (or other) after the recommended SubhanAllah, Alhumdulillah, Allahu akbar & Ayatul Kursi. Increase recitation of Quran in salah too inshaAllah. InshaAllah very soon, your emotions, heart, your whole being will feel alive again. "And verily, in the rememberance of Allah do hearts find peace." (Qur'an, 13:28)

:wa:

['Abd-al Latif]

I agree with sister Scents of Jannah.

Depression, anxiety, restlessness, sadness etc are all emotions of the heart and if one is overwhelmed by these emotions then this is a sign that he has distanced himself from Allah through sins and disobedience.

Ibn Qayyim (rahimullah) said:

When a person spends his entire day with no other concern but Allah, Allah alone will take care of all his needs and take care of all that is worrying him; He will empty his heart so that it will be filled only with love for Him, free his tongue so that it will speak only in remembrance of Him (dhikr) and cause all his faculties to work only in obedience to Him.

But if a person spends his entire day with no other concern but this world, Allah will make him bear its distress, anxiety and pain; He will leave him to sort himself out, and cause his heart to be distracted from the love of Allah towards the love of some created being, cause his tongue to speak only in remembering people instead of remembering Allah, and cause him to use his talents and energy in obeying and serving them.

So he will strive hard, labouring like some work-animal, to serve something other than Allah… Everyone who turns away from being a true slave of Allaah and obeying Him and loving Him will be burdened with servitude, love and obedience to some created being. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): ‘And whosoever turns away (blinds himself) from the remembrance of the Most Beneficent (Allaah), We appoint for him a shaytaan (devil) to be a qareen (intimate companion) to him.’ [al-Zukhruf 43:36].” [Al-Fawaa’id, p. 159]

It was narrated that Anas (r) said: The Prophet (:saws:) said:

Whoever is mainly concerned about the Hereafter, Allaah will make him feel independent of others and will make him focused and content, and his worldly affairs will fall into place. But whoever is mainly concerned with this world, Allaah will make him feel in constant need of others and will make him distracted and unfocused, and he will get nothing of this world except what is decreed for him.

(Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2389; classed as saheeh by Shaykh al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 6510).