:sl:
format_quote Originally Posted by
crayon
Lovely, thank you for sharing.
Hubb is the arabic word for love and it is made up of the letters Ha (ح) and Ba (ب). On a side note, to recognize the beauty of the arabic language, when one says Hubb, the Ha comes from deep inside the throat which almost chokes you (as love does) and when you end the word with Ba, the lips come together as if it were a kiss.
Wow, subhanAllah.
yh i remember listening to a lecture on love in marriage and the sh mentioned that quote. apparently its originally a quote from ibn ul-Qayyim rahimaullah, except thats not how the quote went...unless i misunderstood something...'
thanks for sharing sis transition...tho im not too sure i want to continue reading a) its too long and b) its too mushy :p
EDIT: i want to comment on the little bit that i did end up reading.
So it is said that real love begins after the ‘in love’ phase is over. Usually when two go in to marriage all is well for the first few months and then it starts to break down. Why? Because they fail to continue to keep this love up. The love becomes conditional and the value is lost. So they start worrying about their rights yet they forget their own responsibilities. The husband demands his rights and the wife hers and in the middle of this tug of war they lose their love for each other.
I disagree. i think things tend to go haywire in a love marriage due to both parties being so in love with each other that they don’t measure out properly whether they are really compatible or not. The love before marriage is all romance and a buzz, after marriage things get serious and that buzz goes away. This is where both parties true personalities show. And lot of the time, it shows they aren’t really compatible.
Here’s a tip to a successful marriage: Look towards your obligations, and do your utmost to fulfill them. Don’t look towards your rights – in fact, forget about them; and this is for both the brothers and the sisters. Go into marriage with a mindset that’s saying: “I’m going to fulfill the obligations that my Lord has obligated me to fulfill for His pleasure”. I can guarantee, Insha’Allaah, that if you were to enter into marriage with this attitude, anything that your spouse does for you (a gift, or roses, or cooks you your favorite dish etc.) will seem like a big deal and you’ll appreciate it a whole lot more. Why? Because you weren’t expecting it.
No, rights are important. If one doesn’t know their rights/their spouse’s rights and doesn’t care about them, then that is rather worrying as it shows a lack of care and consideration towards their spouse not to mention a lack of care towards oneself as well.
In a love marriage especially the “I love him/her too much to speak up as i fear things will go haywire” attitude breeds dislike towards the other, as well as being used and walked all over so people need to speak up in their marriage rights aren’t something that should be kept quiet about and relying that the other will "fulfill their obligations" isnt always going to cut it as one could be neglectful of their obligations as well. so in a sense, it is one in the same as the "fulfilling rights" attitude.
In the context of a love-marriage especially, No, rights do need to be addressed as not fulfilling them and being careless about them indicates something deeper. It indicates that things aren’t as great as they seem and that their is some kind of marital problem <---the same problem is being covered with a different mask.
It is the principle, or rather lack of in this case, that is important as opposed to what attitude the marriage is approached by.
Brothers – If you love a sister, let her know (don’t go up to her when there’s a chance that you two will end up alone – in fact, in my humble opinion don’t go up to her at all. Send in a reconnaissance, i.e. your sister or someone likewise). If she’s understanding, she’ll appreciate it. Go to your parents and ask them to get you married (no matter how hard that is) and go about it the Halal way. Also as a side note, know that it is pointless to debate with women, they’ll end up winning. And don’t give her a hard time if she can’t cook. Aisha (Radiallahu Anha) couldn’t cook either.
Sisters – If you love a brother, let him know (again as above, not when there is a chance that you two will end up alone). Insha’Allah he’ll understand. Tell your parents about it (its even harder for you, I’m sure). If you have a brother try to get him to talk to the one you love. Keep it Halal. And lastly, know that the way to a man’s heart is through good food.
i think that solution isn’t always productive as some parents may find it ill character of the brother/sister that they try arrange things and have the parents find out last.