format_quote Originally Posted by
Umm ul-Shaheed
:sl:
why is it that i always see articles about the qualities to look for in a wife. why isnt there an emphasis on finding a good husband, despite the hadiths? (or maybe thy haven't been rendered into English yet?).
:wa:
Theres the 'Ideal Muslim husband' & Ideal Muslimah book..Ive read once online.
when i was reading this book about raising children a few weeks back, it made mention of the qualities a man should choose, but it didn't mention the qualities a woman should choose in a man, which confused me as i thought it was both their job and responsibility to raise the kids?
Whoever wrote that book probably wrote it having only men in mind.:hmm:
Not to worry sis, there are plenty of nice books out there written for both. Just take a stroll down ur nearest islamic book store, last I was there were so manyyy!
this takes me to my next point and that is: islamically speaking, whose responsibility is it to raise the child? the mother or the father, or both?
Obviously both, but I wud imagine the mother will spend most time wit the kids thus its important that she has good qualities that she can instill in her children inshaAllah.
no chauvinistic (or feministic) replies, please
how am I doing so far? lol:embarrass
and about marrying someone who is attractive. how important is it, islamically speaking? i mean i know imam Ahmad rahimahullah said something about it, but im wondering how serious it really is or is there this over-rated hype about it and everyone is forgetting that your marriage will be ok if you dont marry someone good looking :$.
I think its very important to marry someone ur attracted to which means they must be good looking (in ur eyes atleast). Imagine trying to be around someone u found off putting, or simply whom u do not click wit. How will u even want to be close to them or share personal things?
This doesnt mean that we shud only judge people according to looks only, theres the heart, the mind, the character all those other important factors that make a person whole. But good looks on their own dont mean anything...
..because isnt there a saying that was said which goes along the lines like marry your daughter off to a pious man becuase
if he doesn't like her he will still treat her well (sorry my memory is sketchy :embarrass) but why would you marry someone you dont like to begin with? that tells me that maybe looks aren't the be all and end all and maybe people are just exaggerating it to an extent, maybe?
That hadeeth I heard, but not the ''if he doesnt like her he will treat her well'' part.
is the naseesha given regarding this subject in relation to men more them women, or does that not matter?
i hope someone can shed some light on this issue...
The naseeha shud be for both, we are talking about marriage here which is a union of 2 people, not 1.