really need urgent help please

[mariyyah]

Assalamou alaikoum,

I would like to share my problems with you beacuse i have only Allah and you to share , I dont have a family here nor friends here , I have only a husband that i love so much and he loved me so much but last 3 months he completly changed i couldnt find out what changed him , During this 3 months my husband is going to work from 6 am to 6 pm everyday and even in the weekends sometimes and i stayed all the day at home by my self without going out side nor talking to anybody just wating for him to come back from work and when he come back he eat and watch TV and he sleep and no time for me for anything and i m sure you understand what i mean and now i have a big stress in my life and i went to the doctor and he said that i suffer from depression , I spoke with my husband why you changed he said hes not and hes working hard to make enough money for us thats all hes answer all the time , I cannot stop crying , I really dont know what to do please i need your advice and help thank you very much

[layla is here]

Congratulations on your marriage. This is a blessing and something to be happy about. Depression is serious and needs to be treated by a doctor. I hope you are going to one. You need to get out in the day time. Go for a walk outside or just go looking in the shops. Try to find some married friends around you who can talk to you and be some company for you. You can't rely totally on your husband for social support. You need friends too. If there is a mosque near you then try going regularly and ask if they have groups for sisters like quran recitation or halaqas. Your husband has a busy work day so he probably just wants to relax when he gets home. Probably if you do all these things then your depression will get better inshaAllah. If not then it might be sign of a deeper illness that needs a doctor to solve. Best wishes. Keep coming here and post more for support. We would be happy to hear from you.

[Muslim Woman]

:wa:

Assalamou alaikoum,

.. working hard to make enough money for us thats all hes answer all the time ,

but is it true ? Does he really need to work that hard ? If yes , then u can also do a job .

If u 2 are not in need of that money right at that moment , then tell him money won't bring u happiness . Also u can try to cut some of ur expenses in daily life and assure him that if he earns a little less , still u can manage the family life.

What is your hobby ? Don't u have any friends in your neighbourhood ? U can join any sister's group / work as a volunteer to serve the community , try to learn a new language etc etc .

Think positively , try to do something that u like to do - don't just sit and wait for him.

Come to this forum more often and talk to us . InshaAllah u won't feel lonely anymore.

May Allah help to your overcome your crisis .

[mariyyah]

Dear layla ,

Thank you for your support and advice, what you mean please by deeper illness ? yeserday i visited my GP doctor and he said all my illness is depression because im not working and i dont have friends also i spend all the time without talking to anybody and is not easy for any person to support to be quiet from 6am to 6 pm everyday because i dont have a family here and my husband doesnt allowed to me to have friends hes very jalous person even from anybody to get close to me even women and thats an other problem really dont know what to do

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[mariyyah]

Thank you Muslim women for your support and advice

[Muslim Woman]

:sl:

Thank you Muslim women for your support and advice

Welcome sis ;

If ur husband does not allow you to even to talk any woman / make friendship any woman , then I think , it's a serious mental problem . Can u take him to any doc about discussing this matter ?

Anyway , if u can't go out , is it possible for u to do any online course ?

[Humbler_359]

:sl: Sister,

Hope All is well with you, you know, husband working hard in job from morning to evening, he may get very tired and now he think that he have to do 'another job' spending time with wife when he come home. Spending time is great times for couples, YES, but he feel like he is burden in long hours.

There is something to cheer you up, you get start your job that would be helpful instead mind empty being at home. It would be great support additionally to your husband and financial plan. (You both don't have children yet)....

Something to do make you busy, volunteer involved, school, own business, etc.. I used to tell my spouse to get job that would help her better. Can't rely on me 101%. Husband and wife have own responsible 50/50, they will appreciate each other.

:D

[cat eyes]

how he could be jealous of you seeing other women? like what would be the reason for that?? can you not go to your local mosque get him to drop you there when hes off from work? maybe hes just tired thats all but sister you should keep busy maintaining the home. prepare food for him for when he gets home talk nicely to him. if you have ego and he has ego then its not good. one of yous must try to keep your head down sometimes to compromise and admit each others mistakes. appreciate that hes working hard for you sister. maybe he dose not feel appreciated and hes working like a donkey to keep you satisfied and all he gets in return is not trusting and doubting ur husband? is it fair? he is just tired. you would be also

[Muslim Woman]

:wa:

:sl: Sister,


....I used to tell my spouse to get job that would help her better. Can't rely on me 101%. Husband and wife have own responsible 50/50, .

:D

haha bro ; in Islam it's 100 % men's responsibility to earn for family members . Wife is allowed to earn but it's not a must for her :) .

U know , in Islam his money is her money but her money is NOT his money :p

[layla is here]

If depression gets worth then you could get a psychosis from it and start having delusions, hallucinations and paranoia. Also, depression could be one side of an illness like schizoaffective disorder or bipolar disorder.
I would ask your husband why you can't have friends? This is not healthy for you or him. He has to trust his wife when he is away from her. He can't expect you to stay isolated from everyone when you are not around him. This is a sign that he has trust issues and he needs to talk to someone about why he feels like that. Maybe you can bring him to the doctor and have the doctor explain to your husband why you need to have friends around you. Maybe coming from a doctor he will listen. He should not have a problem with you going to the mosque. This is for your islamic education and it is important.Take care.
Try listening to quran everyday. Put it on for one hour and do some cleaning around the house. InshaAllah you will benefit from it.

[Humbler_359]

:wa:



haha bro ; in Islam it's 100 % men's responsibility to earn for family members . Wife is allowed to earn but it's not a must for her :) .

U know , in Islam his money is her money but her money is NOT his money :p

....Mmmm.....Thanks for educating me...<_<

[IbnAbdulHakim]

DONT EVER GET DEPRESSION TREATED BY DOCTORS!!!!!!!!!!!

i've seen WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE overdrugged and DESTROYED due to seeking treatment due to "DEPRESSION"

THE TREATMENT IS WITH ALLAH AND LIES WITHIN ISLAAM!



may Allah help you

Assalamu Alaikum

[Alpha Dude]

^ I agree. Your depression is due to social factors that can be solved without resorting to drugs. It's all about having the correct state of mind and trust in Allah. Be positive and optimistic.

Also have more communication with your husband. Try and get him to open up. I know you said he says the same thing each time you talk, but try and persist in asking and talking to him from your heart. Maybe also text/call him often when he's at work, if you don't already? Just little texts saying how you miss him etc.

Do you tell him that you get lonely and bored throughout the day without having friends? Maybe if he knew what it actually feels like, he might become more lenient.

[cat eyes]

i dont think its fair to start annoying him with text msgs and filling his head with complaints about how shes not happy in the marriage i mean would you like your wife doing that to you while your slaving away trying to make money and put food on the table. all that will cause is more tension i guarantee you. i also had depression but do you know what caused it sister, it was because i was not giving the proper 5times salat. i went to doctor and everything and he told me i had bi polar but Alhamdulilah since ive started practicing properly Allah cured me

[Alpha Dude]

From what the sister has written, there seems to be a lack of communication. Sending text messages that tell him how she misses him and loves him is not a bad thing by any means.

[layla is here]

It depends what type of work he is doing. If he is in a job where he reads things all day and has a lot of paperwork to read through then he might not appreciate more messages to read and respond to.

[ardianto]

I spoke with my husband why you changed he said hes not and hes working hard to make enough money for us thats all hes answer all the time

Don't ask him "why you changed ?", it heard like you interrogate him. But you must pretend nothing has changed and always show your attention and always give your love. Always speak softly if you want to talk to him.

He's tired and he expects when he back his wife will gives him a warm welcome. Try to make him feel comfort in home, try to make him fall in love again with you.

[cat eyes]

From what the sister has written, there seems to be a lack of communication. Sending text messages that tell him how she misses him and loves him is not a bad thing by any means.

i know what you mean bro thats ok but she has to be careful what she says to him like some men cannot take there wife moaning at all. they just cannot handle the extra tension and some men would have no problem turning around and divorcing a wife like that in anger. we don't know what he works at and second thing is we don't know why hes working so much it could be because he needs the hours an hes in dept or something. it could be for alot of reasons so she really must be careful and take his feelings into consideration and give support. let him know that she will always be there for him and she appreciates everything that hes doing and know that he can come to her for anything with any problems. some people get carried away in texting and end up saying something that they will regret for the rest of there life because thats what happens

[GuestFellow]

Assalamou alaikoum,

I would like to share my problems with you beacuse i have only Allah and you to share , I dont have a family here nor friends here , I have only a husband that i love so much and he loved me so much but last 3 months he completly changed i couldnt find out what changed him , During this 3 months my husband is going to work from 6 am to 6 pm everyday and even in the weekends sometimes and i stayed all the day at home by my self without going out side nor talking to anybody just wating for him to come back from work and when he come back he eat and watch TV and he sleep and no time for me for anything and i m sure you understand what i mean and now i have a big stress in my life and i went to the doctor and he said that i suffer from depression , I spoke with my husband why you changed he said hes not and hes working hard to make enough money for us thats all hes answer all the time , I cannot stop crying , I really dont know what to do please i need your advice and help thank you very much

Asslamu Alikaum.

You sound as though you feel lonely. For the past three months you have not been given much attention from your husband nor had any contact with your friends or family. I think when your husband comes back he might be tired and probably that could be the reason why he is not giving you enough attention. Is there anything else that could be upsetting you? Do you miss your family?

I think you need to talk to your husband how you feel. He will probably understand what you are going through and he might decide to help you.

Try to find something to do in your spare time. You could always get a part time job or find some hobbies to do. You'll feel less lonely this way. Exercising and changing your diet will help you combat depression.

Most importantly keep a constant remainder of Allah. Allah understands the pain and suffering you are going through. Having faith in Allah is what you should truly focus on.

Thank you for your support and advice, what you mean please by deeper illness ? yeserday i visited my GP doctor and he said all my illness is depression because im not working and i dont have friends also i spend all the time without talking to anybody and is not easy for any person to support to be quiet from 6am to 6 pm everyday because i dont have a family here and my husband doesnt allowed to me to have friends hes very jalous person even from anybody to get close to me even women and thats an other problem really dont know what to do

Ah, this clearly tells me your husband still cares for you...maybe he is overprotective and does not want to loose you. This can develop on to jealously...which is not good. You need to talk to your husband. Good communication is essential to maintain trust.

Is he going through any problems? Like any changes in his behaviour? Keep this in mind when trying to explain your problems to him.

I would continue to seek advice from the GP. Medication is not the best solution to depression. Depression is an illness, which everyone goes through. You can fight against depression by having a healthy diet, exercising and praying.

[Woodrow]

Dear layla ,

Thank you for your support and advice, what you mean please by deeper illness ? yeserday i visited my GP doctor and he said all my illness is depression because im not working and i dont have friends also i spend all the time without talking to anybody and is not easy for any person to support to be quiet from 6am to 6 pm everyday because i dont have a family here and my husband doesnt allowed to me to have friends hes very jalous person even from anybody to get close to me even women and thats an other problem really dont know what to do

:sl: Ukhti,

You have taken the first step to solve your problems. By your problems I mean both you and your husband. As a married couple, your problems and your husband's problems are now inseparable.

Let us look at the problems you have mentioned.

1.

my illness is depression

Depression comes in two major forms. Situational or Clinical.

Situational depression seldom last over a month or two and is self curing as the situation changes or the person adapts to the situation.

Clinical Depression is a major physical illness with many causes. Such as hormonal imbalances, diabetes, low or high blood pressure etc. Be certain your doctor runs enough test to eliminate any physical causes for your depression.


2.

im not working and i dont have friends

Ah, but you are working. You have one of the most important and honorable jobs in existence---being a wife. Speak with your Mother and/or your mother-in-law and learn your job duties and rewards from them.

A sad fact of life. None of us have any lasting friends except for Allaah(swt) all other friendships are of limited time and often very shallow.The closest human friends you will ever have are your parents, siblings and spouse. Value each with gratitude and respect as no other human will care for you as much as they can.

3.

i spend all the time without talking to anybody

Isolation is very painful. If you have any contact with your husband's mother perhaps you can get her to explain to your husband how much pain this causes you.

[AnonymousPoster]

Assalamou alaikoum,

I would like to share my problems with you beacuse i have only Allah and you to share , I dont have a family here nor friends here , I have only a husband that i love so much and he loved me so much but last 3 months he completly changed i couldnt find out what changed him , During this 3 months my husband is going to work from 6 am to 6 pm everyday and even in the weekends sometimes and i stayed all the day at home by my self without going out side nor talking to anybody just wating for him to come back from work and when he come back he eat and watch TV and he sleep and no time for me for anything and i m sure you understand what i mean and now i have a big stress in my life and i went to the doctor and he said that i suffer from depression , I spoke with my husband why you changed he said hes not and hes working hard to make enough money for us thats all hes answer all the time , I cannot stop crying , I really dont know what to do please i need your advice and help thank you very much

:sl:

I am looking at something fishy.....so talk to your parents or someone who is very close to you, with your husband, before it becomes too late.

:wa:

[layla is here]

I know of a sisters group online for learning islamic topics. You can pm your yahoo id and I will see about letting you join us. We meet weekdays from 1pm to 5pm est. You have to have microphone to be able to participate in the lectures and to prove you are in fact a sister.

[Eliphaz]

Assalamou alaikoum,

I would like to share my problems with you beacuse i have only Allah and you to share , I dont have a family here nor friends here , I have only a husband that i love so much and he loved me so much but last 3 months he completly changed i couldnt find out what changed him , During this 3 months my husband is going to work from 6 am to 6 pm everyday and even in the weekends sometimes and i stayed all the day at home by my self without going out side nor talking to anybody just wating for him to come back from work and when he come back he eat and watch TV and he sleep and no time for me for anything and i m sure you understand what i mean and now i have a big stress in my life and i went to the doctor and he said that i suffer from depression , I spoke with my husband why you changed he said hes not and hes working hard to make enough money for us thats all hes answer all the time , I cannot stop crying , I really dont know what to do please i need your advice and help thank you very much

:sl: sr. mariyyah

You are not alone in depression, many people have gone through it, including myself. But you need to realise that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and you just need to know how to reach it. I would recommend you follow what br. Guestfellow and br. Woodrow have written as it is excellent advice and I really cannot add anything to this.

One thing I will say, is that, as a former sufferer, I totally agree with Fighting4Imaan that you should, whatever happens, avoid anti-depressants, as these have unpredictable and sometimes really bad side effects (yes, all of them). Also, often people can become dependant on taking them. I would say that unless you have been depressed for a really really long time then there is absolutely no need for you to take them.

May Allah swt save all of us from the diseases of depression and despair and help us to remain optimistic in the face of difficulty.

[YusufNoor]

Assalamou alaikoum,

I would like to share my problems with you beacuse i have only Allah and you to share , I dont have a family here nor friends here ,

do you have sisters that you can call? if not, will your husband let you go to the Masjid [to meet new friends]?

I have only a husband that i love so much and he loved me so much but last 3 months he completly changed i couldnt find out what changed him ,

MAYBE, the separation of the sexes has left him without alot of "knowledge" on how to deal with relationships. he MAY be confused and is thus avoiding the situation. it IS easier to go to work than to try to figure out a woman!

During this 3 months my husband is going to work from 6 am to 6 pm everyday and even in the weekends sometimes

is he a cabbie? if so, that is the norm.

and i stayed all the day at home by my self without going out side nor talking to anybody

if you have very little housework, consider learning your Din. try memorizing Qur'an!

just wating for him to come back from work

as a man, we CAN be OBLIVIOUS at times, or a lot of the time...

and when he come back he eat and watch TV and he sleep and no time for me for anything and i m sure you understand what i mean

MAYBE he IS tired. MAYBE this is avoidance

and now i have a big stress in my life

for now, how about enjoying the fact that you have no children to raise BY YOURSELF! enjoy your "free time" while you can!

and i went to the doctor and he said that i suffer from depression ,

is it a kafr doctor?

I spoke with my husband why you changed he said hes not and hes working hard to make enough money for us thats all hes answer all the time ,

do you NEED that much money?


I cannot stop crying , I really dont know what to do please i need your advice and help thank you very much

:sl:

maybe you are "jumping the gun" abit here. sometimes men don't do the whole "touchy feely" thing that well. lack of contact with the opposite sex doesn't really help with that. working is easier that all of the uncomfortable "dealing with feelings" stuff. thus, my first guess is avoidance.

men work, women cry. man goes to work to avoid the crying! woman cries more, man works more! [lather, rinse, repeat]

as long as he is really working, give him the space. try to establish contact with his family, as men can be crappy at that too. try not to over-react or nag him, it causes men to work more!

take your time and S-L-O-W-L-Y try to bring him around.

concentrate on your Din as, In Sha'a Allah, you'll have kids to teach!

May Allah make it easy on you!

:wa:

[Muslim Woman]

:sl:

i stayed all the day at home by my self without going out side nor talking to anybody

Can you invite your parents or his parents to stay with you 2 for some days ? May be , situation can change for better . Tell him to take a vacation . I read that in Malaysia , Govt is encouraging couples to go to holidays to avoid divorce.

Malaysian state to pay for second honeymoon for feuding couples

A Malaysian state has offered to pay for a second honeymoon holiday for any married couple on the brink of a divorce, a news report said Monday.

Several holiday packages, which also include marriage counseling sessions, would be introduced by the end of the year with the aim of reducing the increasing number of divorces in the north-eastern state of Terengganu, the Star online news portal said.

The all-expense-paid trips would only be offered to couples who are going to file for divorce or separation, said the state's community development committee chairman Ashaari Idris

http://www.chinapost.com.tw/asia/mal...sian-state.htm

[sevgi]

Sis Marriyah, salams.

May I ask which country it is you live in and what your cultural background is?

Let me tell you a few things about yourself. You are a woman. Allah created you. He owns you. He has trusted you to your husband as a mahram because women are 'weaker' and prone to damage by the 'stronger' men. Your mahram is the man you trust in the face of all other men. You must keep him pleased in return for the securtity and support he provides you with. If you do not, Allah will frown upon you.

If he does not keep you secure and support you, Allah will frown upon him.

Sis, when I say secure, I do not mean keeping a roof on your head. By support I do not mean food in your stomach. It's the 21st century. No matter how many factors stop you from working, you can find something to do...enough to feed and shelter yourself. Allah is there for you and he is the provider of all necessities.

I realise that you are clearly not well on your own. You depend on others to feel better about yourself. While this is a weakness, it is very, very normal and all too common amongst women of our kind. You have tied yourself to your husband and the world beyond him is alien to you. He is your world. Your duties, wants, needs, likes, dislikes, happiness, sadness, tolerance and pleasure are tied to him like an artery to the heart. Without him, you lose...everything.

You are depressed. You are insecure and you have no support from this man. You are scared because he is all you have. You have nowhere to go. You cant leave him. You arent strong enough...and you dont know what the world beyond your husband may do to you.

So take this moment to think about who Marriyah is. What she used to think about when she was a little girl at the age of 10. What her marriage used to look like. What she used to like doing and playing. What did marriyah do during her highschool life? What things did she have in mind? Does marriyah want to work? Does she want to study? Do she want to invite friends? Does she like drawing? Does she like sports? Ask yourself these questions and pick up one 'attribute' at a time. Tie yourself to Allah. You will occupy yourself with YOURSELF and ALLAH only whilst doing your wifely chores and duties.

If your husband is making it 'haram' for you to leave the house and have friends, he is putting himself in Allah's shoes...and he will be punished. You must tell him how you feel. You must realise that he is your partner, not your owner. Until you do, you will cry and cry and cry and kill yourself in your self-inflicted sorrow.

Do not pity yourself. Do something about your life. Only you can fix it. Not me, not your doctor, not your husband. Trust in Allah, shut your eyes and look at yourself. Allah created you. He trusted you with that mind in your head and that heart in your chest. If you let it get abused, he will ask you why you let it be so.

We're here for you. Just find who you are. When you do, love who you are. Let go of your depression. There are two types of silence: One which humbles and the other which is full of waswasa. Depression is the shaytan whispering in your ear; telling you how miserable life is, how terrible things are, how bad things are going to be...coz for people like you sis, all you have is 'hope' in Allah...and shaytan wants it. Do not give your hope to the shaytan. Take it back from your husband and give it back to Allah.

[mariyyah]

Assalamou alaikoum,

Thank you very much all for your support and advice and iam very happy to hear that and i feel im changing now with more confident hamdollah thanks to Allah SWT and to you all ,
My doctor said that i dont need any test as he can see that im healthy hamdollah but only i have depression because as soon as i spoke to my doctor i felt better and when i talk i feel better but when i stay quiet then i get worst and he gave me medecine antidepression i bought it but honestly i didnt take it because i hate the medicine thats why i came to the forum i want to cure by advice and changing ,
My husband working hard because we have so many expenses and hes the only one work and all his salary goes to rent and food and is not enough i understand that , hes family are in an other country so we cannot afford to invit them , me my mother the only person i love so much and the only beautiful person in my life dead long time i was so pumper girl and when i lost her i lost my self im sorry i cannot stop crying , my father is old man married and my sisters and brothers are not ok with me and they are also far from me in an other country,
My husband loves me so much and i do loves him so much but only thing is that he does not allowed to me to have friends nor going strolling nor travelling and he wants me to stay at home also he doesnt want me to work because always when we are out side he notice people looking at me then he get angry and doesnt let me work , yesterday i asked him again to have freinds and he said no
believe me is not easy when you stayed at home all the time without talking you feel boring and sick
at home im cooking and doing the home work and praying hamdollah even sometimes i stop praying and i hope Allah forgive me i feel very lazy to practise sometimes and i have no koran with me right now

Sevgi you are saying nice beautiful words and analyse could you pm me your email address thank you

[Snowflake]

:sl: Sis Marriyah, May Allah give you a strong and happy marriage. Ameen. Sis, I truly believe that like happiness, depression (unless clinical) can come from within our own selves. It is not the fact that you are alone all day. To some (like me for instance) that'd be considered a blessing. It is because you do not have enough things to do to fill your time.


But until you feel better within yourself, it'll be difficult to want to do much. So inshaAllah let's talk about how you can start feeling a bit better bi idhnillah. I agree with Bro Fighting4imaan. You don't need drugs/counselling as depression can be cured by the blessings and healing Allah has bestowed in the Holy Quran. Start by listening to Surah al-Baqarah and read all the Surahs the Prophet (saw) recommended for protection. A person who has nothing to occupy themselves with becomes an easy target for the shaytaan. Increase your ibadah and recite lailaha illAllah plentifully. You will start to feel better immediately inshaAllah.



Alhumdulillah, Allah has placed healing for us in many things. The Prophet (saw) mentioned perfume as being one of things which were dear to him. Perfume is believed to be fuel for the soul as it has a good effect on health and well-being. Make use of essential oils to fragrance yourself and your home. You will see the effect straight away. InshaAllah. Also use in massage oil (almond) for yourself and husband. This way both of you will benefit. He may never say it, but your husband expects some TLC when he gets home. His behavior could simply be a sign of silent protest.


The Prophet (saw) also recommended barley for strengthening the heart of a sad person. (see recipe below)


Make sure the house is clean and smelling nice when he gets home and food is ready (men hate coming home to a messy house). Make extra effort like cooking his favourite food and dressing up. He will appreciate it.


Sister, I understand you may not feel like doing anything, but you have to make the effort inshaAllah. If you do not get up to drink water when you are thirsty, you will remain thirsty. Begin doing what feels the easiest. Using the oils (check their properties as some are relaxing, others energising) and use according to your needs) is something you can do straight away. Make sure they are aromatherapy oils for use on skin.



InshaAllah, as you start feeling better and more positive, you can start doing more things to occupy your time. I don't believe a woman has to go out to do that. Memorise Quran, learn some ahadith, study a topic and learn the relevant verses and hadith which refer to it. Join Paltalk.com and learn and share your knowledge with us in sister's only room. www.paltalk.com
Register and PM me your nickname. InshaAllah,I'll take care of you there.


Above all sis, don't complain to your husband. Human beings rarely change because we want them to. Ask Allah to change his behavior toward you. Make dua and call upon Allah as 'O Turner of hearts.......' as the Prophet (saw) used to say. Don't give up. Ask Allah for your needs, have faith in His Kindness and Mercy and He will take care of them. He can't fight with the will of Allah can he? :P


And please relax sister. Have sabr, as Allah is with the sabiroon. InshaAllah everything's gonna be just fine. :)

:wa:



Barley

Cook one part barley to five parts water until 2/5 of the mixture remains. It does not taste nice. But it is a good remedy for a sad heart and also for the heart of a sick person.

[mariyyah]

Thank you very much sister scene of jannah , I feel more better today hamdollah when i read your words and advice , Im a very clean person and good cooking and looking hamdollah, today i spoke again with my husband and i find out that hes only tired from working hard all the time but still hes worry about having friends and again he said no, I think i will make my self busy with praying and reading the koran but i dont have any koran and i dont know where to buy a koran ? again thank you very much

[YusufNoor]

Thank you very much sister scene of jannah , I feel more better today hamdollah when i read your words and advice , Im a very clean person and good cooking and looking hamdollah, today i spoke again with my husband and i find out that hes only tired from working hard all the time but still hes worry about having friends and again he said no, I think i will make my self busy with praying and reading the koran but i dont have any koran and i dont know where to buy a koran ? again thank you very much

:sl:


here is some free stuff to help you with your Din,

Qur'an:

http://www.all-quran.com/documents/saad_al_ghamdi.html

http://quran.islamicnetwork.com/

http://quod.lib.umich.edu/k/koran/simple.html

Hadith:

http://www.usc.edu/schools/college/c...muslim/hadith/

Seerah:

http://www.pleasantviewschool.com/me...t%20%28pbuh%29

lectures:

http://www.muftimenk.co.za/Downloads.html

Bilal Philips:

http://www.bilalphilips.com/

Yusuf Estes:

http://www.islamtomorrow.com/

other:

http://www.sunnahonline.com/ilm/audio/index.htm

http://www.kalamullah.com/lectures.html

http://www.alghurabaa.org/lectures/abu-abdis-salam/

http://www.hoor-al-ayn.com/lectures/yasir-birjas/

:wa:

[sevgi]

Sevgi you are saying nice beautiful words and analyse could you pm me your email address thank you

You already sound like a changing woman, mashallah.

Ofcourse I'll pm you my email address. Check your inbox. :)

[Snowflake]

Thank you very much sister scene of jannah , I feel more better today hamdollah when i read your words and advice , Im a very clean person and good cooking and looking hamdollah, today i spoke again with my husband and i find out that hes only tired from working hard all the time but still hes worry about having friends and again he said no, I think i will make my self busy with praying and reading the koran but i dont have any koran and i dont know where to buy a koran ? again thank you very much

:sl: MashaAllah sis. I didn't mean you're unclean lol. I meant depression can make you lethargic and uninterested in doing anything. I'm glad your husband put your fears to rest. May Allah increase your love for each other. Ameen :statisfie

Did you see the links Bro Yusufnoor posted? If you're in the UK, it is easy to get a free copy of al-Quran. Let me know if you need more help inshaAllah. :)


:wa:

[umm junaid]

sister, try go to a local mosque inshallah you will meet sisters there who are married and try getting to know them you can also make dua to Allah to make things better for you in life inshallah.

[mariyyah]

Assalamou alaikoum,

Thank you all for your support and help hamdollah i feel better now thanks to allah first then you .Allah SWT reward you inshallah , sister scene of jannah yes im in the uk so how can i get a koran thank you

sister sevgi thank you for your email i will get in touch soon with you inshallah SWT
for the rest of brothers and sisters thank you very much for your advice and help

[Snowflake]

:sl: You can order a copy from this site inshaAllah :)

https://www.islamicvision.co.uk

If you can trust me, I'd prefer to gift you a copy inshaAllah. :statisfie
Anything to increase my good deeds.. :embarrass

[zakirs]

Assalamou alaikoum,

Thank you all for your support and help hamdollah i feel better now thanks to allah first then you .Allah SWT reward you inshallah , sister scene of jannah yes im in the uk so how can i get a koran thank you

sister sevgi thank you for your email i will get in touch soon with you inshallah SWT
for the rest of brothers and sisters thank you very much for your advice and help

:sl: sis


Glad to know that you are improving.Here are a few things you can do now to get better
1)Listen or read quran at http://quranexplorer.com

2) get more friends , be it online or friends from you neighbourhood with whom you can have some chat and get relaxed. ( i see you got a new friend in Sis sevgi :D

3) May be try a new hobby ? Painting , gardening, sewing ?

4) Eat lots of icecream :D ...


May you feel better soon sis..

[mariyyah]

Assalamou alaikoum.

Im writing with my tears , it is so much noz . my husband now go to his work from 6 am to 8 pm and he came only sleep at night and 14 hours i dont see him , im getting crazy and sheytan start playing my mind and im afraid to lose my balance and do something stuipd please help even i start giving up my pray

[mariyyah]

Assalamou alaikoum.

Im writing with my tears , it is so much now . my husband start go to his work from 6 am to 8 pm and he came only sleep at night and 14 hours i dont see him , im getting crazy and sheytan start playing my mind and im afraid to lose my balance and do something stuipd please help even i start giving up my pray , Please i need your help and advice

[zakirs]

Sister.. dont worry at all may be really your husband is working hard for your family ..

Dont do anything in a hurry sis.Go out do some shopping ask your husband for permission and just go out.or call you mom and have a chat with her.Or just call your old lost friend.

you will get through sis.. i know you are brave ..

Today when you see your husband tell him your problem, ask him for help.

May Allah help in your difficulties.

[Snowflake]

Assalamou alaikoum.

Im writing with my tears , it is so much noz . my husband now go to his work from 6 am to 8 pm and he came only sleep at night and 14 hours i dont see him , im getting crazy and sheytan start playing my mind and im afraid to lose my balance and do something stuipd please help even i start giving up my pray

:sl: hushhhh sis don't cry ((hugs)) have patience darling.. all hardships are a test. Don't let this one fail you. It won't be the same forever. It is hard for your husband too hun. He is unable to do anything but work and sleep. That must be awful. I know your loneliness is hard on you too. But you must speak to him and ask him for permission to go out and join college/sister's projects/quran-arabic classes. You are right sis. The shaytaan will play with your mind if it is free. That's why you should tell your husband all this. He can't read your mind so don't play down your feelings. Be honest even if you think you will look silly. Btw, I'm waiting for you to join paltalk. It will help you inshaAllah.


I hope we hear from you soon sis. May Allah protect you and grant you ease. Ameen. :)

[S_87]

sister, i dont know what ur husbands fears are but him being scared of u making friends is a bit much. youre home alone all day this is enough to drive a person crazy. there is nothing wrong with having friends, indeed friends are beneficial and everyone needs them, if something happens you need people who can help you. does your local masjid have classes for females or something that he cant say 'is wrong'
where abouts in the UK do you live if u dont mind ymy asking. maybe some sisters here might be from around there and can meet you? :)

[cat eyes]

its normal in the early stages of marriage that either one of you might want to avoid the other and stay out all day over time this will change when your husband will start to feel attachment to you and he will not be interested in anything else other then to stay with you because of the fact you are alone and you do not have any friends and you have no classes to go to obviously you will feel like this and i really suggest you buy the holy Qur'an its really not a good thing not to have one in your home.

it should always be there by your side to pick up and read when ever you feel like your going insane and do not neglect salaat!! its one of the most important pillars in islam do not let these problems with your husband take you away from islam not even you own children thats how important Allah should be to you sister seriously its just not right that you go to sleep every night worrying what your husband did and how he made you feel today or that he arrived in late from work.

you should go to bed every night stressing that did you pray on time did you remember Allah reflect on your whole life and how you should change it for the better to please Allah and be more greatful to him. when we make a relationship with Allah. we make a relationship with everyone. we feel relaxed humble no worris and no tension

[OurIslamic]

Try to talk to him.

[mariyyah]

Assalamou alaikoum sisters,

Thank you very much for your help and support and advice , Im very happy because my husband this week start coming early from work and he showed me from his work papers that he worked so many hours because we need money for us and i know that i was stupid thinking bad about him and now im over the moon hamdollah , thanks to Allah SWT and you , I will start pray soon inshallah without stop and i will try to find quran inshallah , but still my husband against me to having friends he said that their husband might bothering me or their brothers he have worries like that anyway i would like to have online friends like you at least i can talk to you online better than nothing , Again thank you very much

[Snowflake]

:sl: Alhamdulillah, Exalted be He Who granted you peace after your distress. Thank and worship Him as much as you can inshaAllah sister.

Assure your husband that you will have nothing to do with your friends' husbands or any male relatives, but that it is not normal for a person to be stuck alone on their own day in day out. A change now and then is necessary as we shouldn't be extreme in any situation .There is simply no need to invite friend's with their husbands to your home or to invite your friends when your husband's at home. Explain this to your husband, inshaAllah and ask Allah to give him understanding and to be kinder to you.

:wa:

[zakirs]

:sl: Alhamdulillah, Exalted be He Who granted you peace after your distress. Thank and worship Him as much as you can inshaAllah sister.

Assure your husband that you will have nothing to do with your friends' husbands or any male relatives, but that it is not normal for a person to be stuck alone on their own day in day out. A change now and then is necessary as we shouldn't be extreme in any situation .There is simply no need to invite friend's with their husbands to your home or to invite your friends when your husband's at home. Explain this to your husband, inshaAllah and ask Allah to give him understanding and to be kinder to you.

:wa:

I agree with what SoJ sis said.. i cannnot tell you how GLAD i am to know that you are HAPPY!.. Now now thank Allah for giving you this moment of happiness.

t anyway i would like to have online friends like you at least i can talk to you online better than nothing

Sure there are many sisters on the forum who would be glad to help you out :)

[mariyyah]

Asslamou alaikoum warahmatou Allah Taala wabarakatou,

Thank you very much for you all for your nice supporting words , Im very happy hamdollah THANKS SO MUCH TO ALLAH SWT

[happy]

Sister read these dua and May Allah help you and try be patient.

The Dua to alleviate Grief, Distress and Anxiety by Hasan as Somali 1-5 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=340ymd3JZDU


http://www.islamawareness.net/Dua/Fortress/034.html